two teens enjoying summer break
30 Jun
Anxiety, Confidence, Emotions, For Parents

10 Ways to Help Your Anxious Teen Enjoy Summer Break

10 Ways to Help Your Anxious Teen Enjoy Summer Break

I’m writing this blog because the other day I really had to take time to step into my client’s shoes. Summer break has always been a time that I’ve looked forward to. A time when I associate sunny days, adventure, freedom, and fun.

But as this 14-year-old tear-filled girl looked back at me, describing the stress of not having her friends around, being alone most of the time because of working parents, and loathing the idea of being stuck for hours on end with nothing to do, it gave me a glimpse into the reality that summer break is not all ice cream and butterflies.

 

(If this sounds like your daughter – here is an article I wrote just for her last year: 5 Practical Ways to Take Control of Your Happiness).

 

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

 

If you have a teen daughter who:

  • Really thrives on routine
  • Seems nervous or on edge right now and it has nothing to do with how her school grades were
  • Struggles to initiate and put together plans with friends outside of school

She might be dreading summer.

10 Ways to Help Your Anxious Teen Enjoy Summer

#1 – Find Free Fun

Finding free fun. If you’re in a town or city, there’s usually a lot going on during the summer months. Checking ahead of time with your local library, city events sites, or even platforms like Eventbrite and Facebook will offer you loads of different and low-cost/free options (e.g. festivals, concerts, free library programming, etc.)

 

#2 -Try Something New Each Week

Trying something new each week. Novelty breathes excitement into life and teenage brains are designed to seek it more than at any age. Don’t know where to start on figuring out new things to try? Check out this article.

 

two women exchanging numbers

Photo from Canva Pro

#3 – Get Friends’ Contact Info

Get friend contact information (and parents if appropriate) ahead of time. Depending on your daughter’s age and skill level on planning and organizing, a little support from a loving parent may be a game changer. Little reminders and encouragement to make sure they can be in touch with friends through the summer can be helpful. Or even helping them to organize their first couple outings with friends outside of school.

 

#4 – Summer Camp

Summer camps. I know. Your teen may straight out balk at this idea. Other teens love them. Part of the secret to summer camp success is the fit. Try matching based on interest or attending with a friend to make this option a real success. 

 

#5 – Stick to A Routine

Staying up late and sleeping in is almost a quintessential part of summertime. But throwing routine completely out the window for 2 months is a recipe for exhaustion and bad moods. Encourage a summertime routine that continues to include rest, movement, and health hygiene.

 

Group of teens volunteering over summer break.

Photo by Canva Pro

#6 – Find Volunteer or Paid Opportunities

Line up some volunteer or paid opportunities. Even if it’s just a few hours a week, doing something that grows a skill, helps others, or puts money in her pockets is sure to be uplifting. If you’re in Calgary, Alberta you can check out Volunteer Connector HERE. You can also reach out to your YMCA, local churches, pools, libraries, neighbours and drum up some opportunities.

 

 

#7 – Make a Summer Bucket List

Make a Summer Bucket List. This is a fun family activity. Everyone puts down things they would like to do throughout the summer and a list is created. You can decide if it’s “pick one random each week” or “each family member gets a week where they choose the activity of their choice and all the other members participate”. You can get really creative with these and they are sure to make cool memories.

 

#8 – Travel

Travel. I know this can get expensive really quickly. If travelling abroad or taking a plane is just not an option for you right now, travel can be a 45-minute drive out to the mountains, a bike ride to a location in the city that you have never been to before, or a fun little day trip to a unique place of interest near your town or city. Did you know there’s a gopher museum? Check it out! 

 

#9 – Learn A New Skill

Learn a new skill. Mastering or getting better at something is so rewarding. Whether it’s summer or another season. There are so many options: Learning to play an instrument, ride a horse, make jewelry, dance, make a piece of clothing, cook, build a toolbox, martial arts, grow a garden, crotchet, start a business, just to name a few.

 

#10 – Exercise and Movement

teen girl skateboarding on summer break

Photo by lisboa ind. on Unsplash

Exercise and movement. Staying active is a great way to release happy making natural chemicals into your body and brain, as well as lower

stress. It can also be a nice way to connect with others. Getting a Y membership for the summer or signing up for a class might be the way to go. Or maybe it’s more walking, hiking, biking, swimming that also ensures Vitamin D doses.

 

BONUS TIP:

Many teens won’t talk to you, their parent, about their anxieties over summer break. Offering your daughter a neutral person to talk to, and set summer goals with, can be extremely helpful to her mental health. I have gathered a powerful team of therapists in the Pyramid Psychology family who have room for more teen clients this summer. You can meet my team – Jessa, Chipo & Tara – as well as book a free consultation here:

I want summer break help for my teen!

 

Here’s to making your anxious teen daughter’s summer break something she’ll be excited to tell her friends about in the summer.

Love,

Chantal

Psychologist, Teen Life Coach, and Founder of Pyramid Psychology

 

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

 

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

text anxiety
09 Jun
Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens, Teen Joy

Teen Test Anxiety: 8 Simple Ways Parents Can Help

8 Simple Ways Parents Can Help Teens with Test Anxiety

Well, it looks like it is that time of year again – text anxiety is back!

End of a school year. And you know what that means, right? Tests! Lots of tests. The unfortunate reality of tests is the dreaded test anxiety that can sometimes go with it.

But its ok, we got you!

 

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How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

Most often test anxiety is produced by the apprehension and pressure to do well on an evaluation. Test anxiety can show up in both physical (fight or flight) and mental (worry, about information recall). However, some anxiety is normal and can help one in a test while for others it can be debilitating. So, what can we do as parents to help support that test anxiety?

Here are 8 Ways Parents Can Help with Test Anxiety:

test anxiety

Photo from Canva Pro

Tip #1: Talk About It

Well, step one talk about the test with your teen, what is causing worry? Perhaps it’s the material, maybe it’s the setting? Has your teen studied the material; do they understand it?

Talk about the worry. Talking about it can help it become much smaller.

 

Tip #2: Visualize

Visualize the test day… What does your teen need to have to be prepared? Have them imagine walking into the test feeling positive and prepared to write it. Talk about the test with them and go through how they want the test to be, and how they want the outcome result to be.

 

Tip #3: Expectations

Talk about rational expectations. If your teen has not been present in class or is missing key components, they might not be able to get the grades they wish for. And that is ok, try to work through any catastrophizing thoughts they may have, and discuss the reality of the situation.

 

Tip #4: Mindfulness

Mindfulness, talk about being in the present moment with your teen, especially when they begin to feel overly anxious. Focus on one task at a time. Stay in the moment and with each thought that appears don’t judge it, just recognize that it is just a thought and let it go.

test anxiety

Photo from Canva Pro

 

Tip #5: Negative Self-Talk

Encourage your teen to practice replacing negative self-talk with more rational thoughts. Remind them to take a moment to acknowledge how far they have come and give themselves praise.

 

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How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

 

Tip #6: Name Anxiety

Talk to your teen about naming their test anxiety. Naming it creates the idea that it exists outside of your teen, putting distance between them and their uncomfortable thoughts.

 

test anxiety

Photo from Canva Pro

Tip #7: Self-Care

As parents we really want to focus on the basics here as well – good sleep hygiene, a healthy diet, and the inclusion of some moderate to light exercise to keep healthy. Look at other stressors in your teens life and look to reduce anything for a bit to help take some of the pressure off.

 

Tip #8: Celebrate

Celebrate small achievements your teen makes along the way. Congratulate them on trying. Celebrate that they did something that was hard and uncomfortable. Cheer when they study.

Check out 5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun (blog written by a colleague in the Pyramid Psychology Family) to learn more ways to celebrate along the way.

Plan something for your teen to look forward to after their exams.

 

Take one of these tips at a time and implement them into life with your teen. You will be amazed at how much of a difference your support can make! (And you will feel less like you’re hopelessly watching on the outside, too).

Before I go, here is a BONUS TIP for your teen with exam anxiety! Offer for them to try a guided meditation the next time you’re driving them somewhere or there’s a quiet moment at home. Click here to listen to one I like.

Love,

Tara Aldie

Graduate Student in Counselling offering affordable counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old) online, and in person in Airdrie, Alberta

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada – $40 per session. Free consultation here.

 

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How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

 

About Tara

Hello, my name is Tara, and I am a graduate student in counselling, I will be doing my practicum at Pyramid Psychology and I am very excited to practice all the skills I have learned as well as develop new relationships.

I have experience working with youth and teens and I also navigate parenting to four of my own kids. I tend to work with a solution focused, client centred and cognitive behavioural approach. I know that being a teen is tough, and sometimes are problems exasperated by social media and technology.

I struggled with fitting in as a teen, and I really felt that I didn’t belong. After years of soul searching and many personal ups and downs, I realized that my uniqueness was a strength. My goal is to help navigate through these difficult times while promoting self-discovery and personal strengths.

I understand that parents can often feel confused and left out of their teen’s life. I look to bridge the gap between these differences through positive communication. Teens need all the support they can get; the world and relationships can often seem crazy and unrelatable. I work to help bring closeness within existing supports and help develop and foster relationships.

With art, music, writing, play and movement we can work together to help promote self-discovery. I look forward to creating a positive and healing journey with you!

Book a free consultation with me here.

Serving teens in Alberta age 11-18, online or in person (Airdrie, Alberta).

high school exams
02 Jun
Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens, Teen Joy

5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun

5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun

The stress caused by high school exams is real… Here are 3 practical ways to help you make the experience fun!

 

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

 

teen friendship

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

 

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

Here are 5 ways to help make exams more fun:

Tip#1: Normalize exam stress

It’s important to note that exam season in itself is stressful, and can promote worry, and tension in relation to being in a test-taking situation.

high school exams

Photo by Averie Woodard

It is normal to feel stress related to upcoming texts or exams which could also serve as a motivation to do your best, by being prepared. Could be tailored into “good stress”. Nonetheless, exam stress might as well trigger depression and anxiety, and affect your eating and sleeping habits. If exam pressure and the taking of the exam in itself starts to take over your life, it would best to let others know, so you can be best supported as needed.

 

Tip #2: Do what makes you happy.

Everyone has tools that help them cope in stressful situations. These could include but not limited to, taking breaks in between study sessions, listening to music, going for a walk, having a change of scenery, watching a YouTube video, watching your favourite show, or comedy, going through a bunch of memes, exercising, giving into your cravings, doodling and meditating.

Engaging in suitable self-care could help as well, such as ensuring you are eating regularly, and you are keeping up with your sleep hygiene patterns. 

 

Tip #3: Talk about exam stress with your peers, classmates, and friends.

You might find that others might be experiencing or going through a similar range of emotions as you are during high school exams. They say, “a problem shared is a problem half solved”. This might not make you feel better but helps you understand that you are not alone. You have a tribe of other individuals experiencing similar things that you can actually relate too.

Also, you might learn one or two things that could be of help in assisting you cope.

If you find your peer group isn’t super helpful during high school exams, consider therapy as a place to de-stress. There doesn’t have to be anything majorly wrong to speak to a therapist – I am here to help! No judgment.

Alberta residents can book a free consultation call with me HERE. I offer both online and in-person appointments (Calgary).

 

high school exams

Photo by Desola Lanre-Ologun on Unsplash

Tip #4: You could join or create a study group.

Working with and being a part of a study group could help boost your confidence in nailing your exams, by being able to practice exam questions together, get and share different perspectives on possible exam questions, laugh, cry together and hence build momentum to keep you going. 

 

Tip #5: Understand that this is a learning experience.

Doing your best whatever that looks like is good enough.

If part of your stress around high school exams is what happens AFTER graduation, here is a helpful blog article by a colleague of mine: Teen Graduation: High School Graduation.

 

Love,

Chipo Bvindi

Registered Social Worker offering counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old)

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada. Free consultation here.

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help teen girls

Teen Mental Health Handbook Cover

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

29 Aug
Anxiety, Emotions, For Parents

How to Combat Anxiety – Part 4 of 4 Miniseries – Practical Ideas to Settle and Soothe- Visualization and Imagery

How can we use imagery and visualization to settle and soothe our minds and bodies from anxious, fearful, and negative thoughts?
​
Let’s continue the conversation on how to let our body and mind know, “thanks for keeping me on alert but I’m ok right now and I’ve got this”.

I wanted to be outdoors when recording, although I did sacrifice sound and video quality to some degree, I decided to go with it. Being outdoors is definitely my happy place and whenever I use guided imagery or visualization, some elements of nature always make their way in. Visualizing nature might also work for you or you might have some other things that really connect when it comes to using your imagination as a resource.

whenever I use guided imagery or visualization, some elements of nature always make their way in.

Photo by Canva

What is visualization and imagery?
​Imagery or visualization involves using your imagination to help put your body and mind in a different state. In most cases, it is used to help create a more relaxed state but it can also help with things like focus and performance.

Imagining has the power to change brain activity

Photo by Canva

Our brains are pretty amazing. Connecting with our imagination and our thoughts is something that people are very interested in and that scientists have been increasingly researching especially in the fields of athleticism and mindfulness.

 

​after an 8-week meditation program, the amygdala (brain’s smoke alarm) was less activated when exposed to emotional content

Photo by Canva

Research studying the brain of those who meditate or practice mindfulness on a regular basis have shown that brain activity changes during meditation. What’s even more interesting is that the changes that take place during meditation are maintained even when participants are not meditating. One study using FMRI (takes pictures of the brain and records brain activity) found that after an eight week meditation based program, the amygdala (our brain’s smoke alarm) was less activated when exposed to emotional content.

Why do we care to know this?!?!

​Well the amygdala is like the brain’s smoke alarm, it alongside with other brain structures, take the stimulus we receive in the world and helps our brain (and body) decide what to make of it- is this a threat? Is this enjoyable? Do I need to freak out right now? So if research on the brain is telling us that our amygdala activation is changing that is important to a society that has more recently been living in the crux of perpetual anxiety. It means we can play an active role in helping ourselves out when it comes to upsetting thoughts and feelings and our response.

The thing is that the emotions of fear and anxiety are based in the memory of something that was scary or in the anticipation that something terrible might happen which, “triggers a habitual fear response…… even if there is no actual present-moment threat”.

Photo by Canva

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The take away- it is VERY good to have a brain and body that can respond to threat when we are in ACTUAL danger AND it is even better if we can help that brain and body to become super efficient at sifting through what is actually a threat and what is not.

Photo by Canva

Another way that imagery and visualization has been researched is in the realm of athletics. Imagining doing an activity, like a sport, prior to actually doing the activity can help our brain remember the neural pathways needed for that physical activity. Athletes can use imagery and visualization to improve physical performance and to perform under pressure- Amazing!

So that’s pretty cool and speaks to the power of visualization and imagery, but before I digress any further let me bring us back to using visualization and imagery to settle and soothe our minds and bodies when we are flooded with anxious, fearful, or negative thoughts and feelings.
​
What I like to use when it comes to settling and soothing the mind and the body are visualizations such as containment, safe place or safe state imagery. The reason I like these in particular is because I find they are very effective at kicking in the parasympathetic system (rest and relax) and I can access them any time.

Container Visualization
This visualization focuses on creating some imagery of a container or vessel of sorts that can hold upsetting, painful, or difficult thoughts and feelings until you are ready to come back to them. This is great for in the moment settling of the mind and body. The idea here is that you can use your imagination to put difficult thoughts and feelings “on the shelf” temporarily to be able to focus again or continue on with your day, but that you can come back to them when you feel supported to do so.

​Here is an example of a guided visualization that is about 7 minutes long.

Safe Place Visualization
Safe place visualization can be a great tool to respond to overwhelming moments. Sometimes the idea of a safe place may be difficult for a person to imagine. In particular if your experiences hold trauma or spaces that generally felt unsafe. I will always invite clients to consider that the space may be one they’ve been before, one they imagine they want to go to one day, or perhaps it is a completely imagery place. At the end of a safe place visualization, you can also imagine a word or phrase that might help bring your mind and body back to this more relaxed and settled state at another time. An alternative is to take a few moments after the visualization to draw, paint, or write about the place. This can help it to stay with us in a meaningful way  to come back to at another time, if that feels like an option.

it is very good to have a brain and body that can respond to threat when we are in ACTUAL danger AND it is even better if we can help that brain and body to become super efficient at sifting through what is actually a threat and what is not.

A note on making it more meaningful-
Introducing and using visualization and imagery to help settle your mind and body comes with a few considerations. In my experience, they can be very effective as a one off. If you are needing something in the moment and don’t plan on using it again, it is ok to access this practice once and you may see that it is quite helpful.

Saying that, I think the more you practice, the more benefit you will get from it. Just like in those studies looking at the effects of meditation and imagery for athletics on the brain, the more we activate certain parts of the brain, the more efficient our brain becomes at lighting those areas up.

There may be some scripts that work better for you than others. There are lots of videos, books, blogs, apps and websites that offer so many different types of visualization and imagery scripts. Some are specific to theme, timing, or for specific areas of life (sports performance, addictions, anxiety, stress, etc). I would really encourage you to look at some different options and see what fits for you. On that note, the voice and the pace of guided visualizations are unique. Have a listen to the first few seconds of some guided visualizations and if you don’t like the voice or something is just not sitting well for you, try something different!

Here are some resources to consider checking out:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/imagery-basic-relaxation-script/
https://www.innerhealthstudio.com/imagery-and-visualization.html
https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/
https://www.developgoodhabits.com/best-mindfulness-apps/
https://www.mirecc.va.gov/cih-visn2/Documents/Patient_Education_Handouts/Visualization_Guided_Imagery_2013.pdf

 

Photo by Canva

 

If you found this post helpful, spread it by emailing to a friend or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

Happy imaginings!

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook. 

20 Aug
Anxiety, Emotions, For Parents

How to Combat Anxiety – Part 3 of 4 Miniseries – Practical Ideas to Settle and Sooth Breathing

Part 3 is all about breathing. Breathing is essential to human life and we all do it, but we each have a unique rhythm.

How can you use breathing to cope with anxious and unhelpful thoughts?

How does breathing let your body know, “thanks for being on alert, but I’m ok right now and I’ve got this”?
​
​Read on my friends.

Photo by Canva

Our breath pattern changes depending on what we are doing and how we are doing. If we are exercising, for example, our breath will deepen and speed up in order to get more oxygen to our muscle groups. When we are sleeping, our breath generally slows down to respond to our state of rest.

Our breathing is also linked to our emotions. When we are scared or really stressed our breathing can become rapid and shallow, preparing us to fight, freeze, or flee. When we are relaxed, for example during a meditation or enjoying a good book, our breathing slows in response.

​Breathing may seem automatic and for a lot of things it is, but the really cool thing  is that we can adjust our breathing to settle and soothe our system on purpose.

This kicks in our parasympathetic system which is our ‘rest and relax’ system, the opposite system that kicks in when we are under stress.

One important note about breathing- everyone’s breathing pattern is unique to them! Although breathing instructions and breathing exercises may encourage you to take breaths in certain ways, it is really about what is an option for you at that moment. In going over some of the ideas in this blog and video, please keep in mind that whatever kind of breathing is available for you today- is ok!
​
For example, people who have experienced a lot of trauma sometimes tend to have shallower breaths, so if a breathing exercise or instruction is inviting you to take deep breaths that can actually be quite activating and overwhelming. It’s about listening to our body and well…..learning to listen to our body.

Photo by Canva

Breathing in through my nose? Through my mouth?

Again listening to yourself and what’s possible in that moment. It can be helpful to breathe in through your nose when trying breathing patterns that are designed to help kick in the parasympathetic system, but it doesn’t have to be that way- so just keep that in mind.

Photo by Canva

If you have allergies (Oh do I know hay fever season!) or a cold and it’s a matter of mouth breathing- then go with that! When I’m practicing breathing patterns to relax, I generally tend to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth but again, whatever is an option for you.

There are different types of breathing strategies that can be used and using simple reminders and cues can help guide the breath. 

​Finger breathing– tracing your breath using your hand as a guide. What I usually do is take an in breath (breathe in) when tracing the outside of my first finger (perhaps your thumb), pause or hold at the top, and then take an out breath (breathe out) as you trace the other side of that same finger. Just keep that pattern as you trace out the entire hand. The added bonus is that the touch of you tracing your fingers can add some extra focus and soothing.

Shape breathing– If you have something to write with and write on handy, draw out a shape of your choice, any shape will do. Then you can use your writing tool (pencil, pen, sharpie, lipstick- you can be creative here!) and trace over the shape you’ve drawn and have your breath mirror that shape. For example, if you choose to draw a rectangle, you will trace over one line and breathe in, trace over the next line and take a pause, trace over the next line and breathe out. Trace over the shape until you’ve taken a few breaths (I like to do between 5-10)

Photo by Canva

Being aware and noticing your breath– Simply bringing some focus and attention to your breath and where you notice it the most. For some folks that might be more in the chest, for some it may be more in the stomach area. The invitation is to place your hand on that area (your chest, your stomach, or both) and just take a moment to notice as it rises and falls with your breath. Notice your hand(s) as they go up and down with your breath. Repeat for a few breaths.

Photo by Canva

Imagery or object breathing (feather breathing, candle breathing, flower breathing)- While bringing an image to mind, use that to guide your breath. Let’s take the feather breathing example. You can have an actual feather for this idea or you can just pretend you have a feather handy. Place the feather in your hand and as take your in breath and out breath, trying to make the feather move. Same thing with the candle breathing- imagine you have a candle in front of you and as you breathe in and out, you are moving the flame of the candle, but not blowing the candle out. This helps to control and bring awareness to the breath.

If you found this post helpful, spread it by emailing to a friend or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook- Thanks! Also, be sure to come back and check out Part IV, where I’ll be talking about using visualization and imagery to combat anxiety.

Breathe on! 

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook. 

15 Aug
Anxiety, Emotions, For Parents

Back to School Anxiety: Coping Skills for Your Teen

If you’re noticing your teen is a little edgy lately or seems less than keen to talk about school they may be struggling with ‘back to school anxiety’. The usual pre-jitters and mix of excitement and nervousness of going back to school could be prompting thoughts like these for your teen:

Photo by Canva

  • Who will I be in class with?
  • What if I get that teacher again?
  • I can’t wait to see my friends again!
  • I hope I will get good grades.

This year may be especially hard for teens if they struggle with social anxiety and enjoyed the online aspect of schooling again this year. On top of the regular ‘back to school’ worries, your teen may  be thinking:

  • What if it’s really hard?
  • What if I’m behind?
  • What if we have to wear masks again?
  • What if things shutdown again? 
  • What if I don’t like it?

Sometimes teens don’t have an exact grasp on the specific thoughts but their worries  manifest physically. You might notice complaints of physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, general flu like symptoms with no illness related causes, etc. You may also notice changes in behaviours – more irritability, sleep disruptions, etc. 

Worries about going back to school – especially this year – are to be expected…. BUT that doesn’t mean your teen has to white knuckle through it. 

Here are five anxiety coping strategies you can implement to help your teen transition back to class as smoothly as possible:

Anxiety Coping Skill #1

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Breathing can be a secret weapon for your teen. Dialling into their breathing can help activate their rest and relax system (parasympathetic nervous system). This sets off a domino effect of calming. 

There are various breathing techniques you can try. Sheryl Ankrom, MS, LCPC shares eight different breathing exercises you can try here. Square breathing, or 4×4 breathing is one I find works well, and can be done anywhere anytime – including on the way to the school, in the hallways, and even in class. The Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto shares a really great video on how to do this exercise here.

Whichever exercise your teen chooses, I recommend going through it at least 4 times to allow their nervous system to catch up.

Breathing exercises aren’t for everyone. If your teen can’t focus on their breathing, or doesn’t enjoy it – try having them focus on some of their other senses. Here are a few ways they can do that:

  • Look around the room and (in their mind) name objects they can see
  • Pick a colour and try and spot it as much as possible
  • Listen for sounds near or far
  • Name one thing from all 5 senses – something they can see, hear, smell, feel and taste

The key is to bring awareness to the present moment and be less hyper focused on the anxiety.

Anxiety Coping Skill #2 

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We all have objects in our lives that immediately bring comfort. They serve as relaxation prompts. It can be helpful for your teen to have an object like this with them as they begin the new school year. Here are some ideas, or things I have seen work well:

  • Favourite piece of jewelry
  • Extra comfy sweater
  • Stone/crystal around their neck, or tucked in their bag
  • A note/quote/message on their phone
  • Putty
  • Favourite playlist on their phone (if permitted)
  • Doodle a small heart on a knuckle
  • Fidget ring around their finger

Having something that reminds your teen of comfort and calm will cause their brain to put out some chill alpha waves.

Anxiety Coping Skill # 3

Encourage your teen to find at least one person they can rely on that has got their back – a coping buddy. They can have more than one of course! It might be a teacher, guidance counsellor, friend, sibling, etc. Someone they can seek out and connect with when needed. This person can provide a nice distraction, or some comfort.

If your teen really can’t think of anyone that is accessible at  school, see if you can find someone remote who can be available for a call or text during an anxious moment – you, their auntie, etc.

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Anxiety Coping Skill # 4

Use the F.E.A.R. technique. This stands for False Evidence (or Emotions) Appearing Real.

Anxiety can trick your teen’s mind to make them believe they are small and incapable in the face of the problem or thing they fear. The F.E.A.R technique is a way to bring balance in the other direction – with anxiety being small and your teen being big and capable.

Step One: Identify the worry (fear) – e.g. ‘I’m worried that I won’t be in the same class as any of my friends.”

Step Two: Dig deeper – what would happen if your friends weren’t in your class? What’s anxiety telling you? – e.g. ‘I will have no one to talk to all year. I will be lonely.’

Step Three: Flip it around – what could you do if your friends aren’t in your class? How could you respond? How could you solve this? – e.g. ‘Could be a total loner and not talk to anyone all year, 

I guess I could make new friends, I could find my friends during breaks, I could join a club or something at lunch, I could ask to be switched classes, I could talk to the person sitting next to me, etc.’

This technique gives the worry clear words and takes your teen down that FEAR acronym. It lets them know that even if the scary thing does happen, they have a lot of control and choice to do something about it! 

Anxiety Coping Skill # 5

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Create a plan and a routine so your teen knows what to expect. It is helpful to focus on what is in your teen’s power to control (their routine) and what is not.

A routine for school starts the night before – with a good amount of sleep, taking time to relax before bed, etc. Encourage your teen to include some things in their routine they enjoy.

You can also help your teen plan ahead for when they get to school – who will they meet up with? Do they know which classes they are in? What time does school start and end?

Having a plan around things that your teen can actually control (e.g. their responses, behaviours, what thoughts they tend to, etc.) can help quell some of that anxiety. 

Things to Make Note Of:

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Your teen is not alone in their anxiety – going back to school can be an anxiety-inducing experience in ‘normal’ times. Never mind the times we are in now! Let them know they are not the only ones. Ask them about their back to school thoughts.

What are they most stressed/worried about? 

Another thing you can do is focus on the things they are looking forward to. Get them to pay  attention to the friends they may get to see again, the school club they will join, etc. 

Anxiety can be a big deal but it doesn’t have to take over yours or your teen’s life – Share this blog with a parent of a teen and spread the support! 

The Happiness Pill Program is a 6-month teen life coaching program that supports teens to shift beyond anxiety, depression, and overwhelm and into confidently living the life they want by providing ongoing support. There is a built-in parent program and community to support you, too. Get on the path to freedom from teen anxiety here.

Love,

Chantal 

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook. 

08 Aug
Anxiety, Emotions, For Parents

How to Combat Anxiety – Part 2 of 4 Miniseries – Practical Ideas and Tips to Help Settle and Soothe the Mind and Body

USING OUR SENSES

Our brain processes the world through our senses- what we see, feel, hear, smell, and taste. How we think, dream, and how our memories are stored are all encoded through our senses (e.g. imagining the sound of someone’s voice, smelling cookies and remembering a time you baked cookies with your favourite aunt, dreaming of a familiar place or person). Bringing awareness to our senses can be a powerful tool to help us cope with anxious and negative thoughts and feelings.

We can use our senses to tune into the present moment and to our current environment, which can help our mind and body settle

​By doing this, we help bring our prefrontal cortex (reasoning and logic part of the brain) online and tune into the “now”. This can be something that can be really helpful if we are feeling upset, overwhelmed or just overly activated as it can help us to settle and soothe our mind and body.

What are some ideas you can try to bring awareness to your senses?
The 54321 strategy
This strategy uses a countdown using each of your senses. The most commonly known way that I know of practicing this strategy is going through each sense and pairing it with a number. For example, using your sense of sight, name 5 things you can see in your current environment right now.

***You can name things aloud if you want but you can also name them in your head, both can be effective!

Next, name 4 things you can feel right now. For this one, consider internal and external feelings. Internal feeling like “I’m worried, I’m stressed, I’m tired” and external feelings like “I can feel my feet on the ground” or “I can feel the back of legs on the chair”.

Next, name 3 things you can hear right now. Next, name 2 things you can smell right now. Sometimes smell can be a little bit tricky, if that is your experience, perhaps you can access the smell of your clothes or your hair or even just the smell of the air.

Lastly, name 1 thing you can taste right now. I like to use a variation on this one and I often invite teens to say one statement that lets them know they are going to be ok in some way, for example “I am ok”, “I will get through this”, “I’ve got this”., “I am going to be ok”.

Photo by Canva

 

54321 Variation
Another way to try this strategy is to use the countdown idea and this time honing in on some of the senses that are generally more accessible. I mean senses that are a little easier to access for most people for example, our sense of sight, touch/feel, and hearing. This time you would begin a countdown that is naming things like this: 5 things you can see right now, 5 things you can feel right now, 5 things you can hear right now. Next, name 4 things you can see right now, 4 things you can feel right now, 4 things you can hear right now. Next, name 3 things you can see right now…… well you get the point and you would continue until you get to naming 1 of each of the senses. This variation can be helpful if you are needing a little extra time to get your “thinking brain” back online.

The insight timer blog also has an article on the 54321 strategy, a variation called the HALT technique, and an audio clip with a guide 54321 exercise.

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Tuning into one specific sense 
In this strategy you choose a specific sense to focus on and you can give yourself a few different challenges. One example of this is a hearing challenge, where you name as many things as you can hear in 10 or 20 seconds.

Photo by Canva

Another strategy is distance hearing, where you begin by noticing sounds you can hear as a part of you (inside) such as your breathing or your stomach noises (especially if lunch time is approaching!). Next, you distance your hearing and name sounds (things, people, animals, etc.) you can hear around you and nearby. Next, you distance your hearing even more and challenge yourself to  name sounds you can hear in the next room or further until you can’t notice any new sounds.

Photo by Canva

Another idea using our sense of sight is spot a colour. You start by choosing a colour and naming as many things as you can that are the selected colour or a close variation of that colour. You can lengthen this exercise by repeating it using every colour of the rainbow. I particularly like this one in an outdoor setting, especially in fall or spring when a variety of colours are available to us.

Our sense of smell is another option. If there are smells that you experience as comforting or soothing (for me that would cinnamon or the smell of a warm pot of homemade spaghetti sauce- yes I like food!), perhaps you can have those smells accessible for you. Now, having the smell of homemade spaghetti sauce on hand is not super practical, but if there are other scents like lavender, rosewater, peppermint, citrus, or a blend of essential oils, it is much easier to work with.

Some people will use roll on scent sticks or lava bead bracelets with a few drops of a soothing scent. If you find the smell of your laundry soap of shampoo, you can use your clothes or hair, and take some sniffs of those. I would add one point of caution around our sense of smell-  smell is highly linked to memory, so I would advise testing out a smell before you use it in a situation where you are upset and are trying to settle and soothe.

If you found this post helpful, spread it by emailing to a friend or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook- Thanks! Also, be sure to come back and check out Part III, where I’ll be talking about using breathing to combat anxiety.

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook. 

01 Aug
Anxiety, Emotions, For Parents

How to Combat Anxiety – Part 1 of 4 Miniseries – Practical Ideas and Tips to Help Settle and Soothe the Mind and Body

Welcome to the first part of a 4 mini series on how to combat anxiety. Combat might sound a little harsh or not quite the way you view your relationship with anxiety. What I mean by this is how to let your body and your mind know, “thank you for keeping me on alert, but I’ve got some ideas and strategies, I’m ok, and I’ve got this right now”.

I’m writing with teen anxiety in mind, but these ideas can be useful for anyone!

Here’s a video in case that works better for your style.

The next four video/blog combinations in this series will describe some practical ideas and strategies that can help settle and soothe your body and your mind when you are experiencing a flood of anxious or distressing thoughts.

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Today, I will be laying out the framework that I’m using to understand how anxious and distressing thoughts impact us and what it is that we can do about it.

​I won’t be talking about thinking patterns or thought (cognitive) processes in this series – I will mainly focus on things that you can use “in the moment” to start to settle and soothe your mind and your body. Some of the ideas and tips will cover using our breath, our senses, our imagination, and our bodies to basically bring on-line our systems that are most relaxed-based.

I have been working from the framework of Compassion Focused Therapy. Some of the folks in this field are: Paul Gilbert, Deborah Lee, Kristin Neff, Paul Tirsch, just to name a few. All of these folks have done some great work in the compassion focused realm and I think they do a good job at explaining how anxious thoughts, trauma, and different systems impact us in different ways.

THREE CIRCLE MODEL

​The model I specifically like is the three circle model because it describes three systems that we experience that affect our mind and our bodies. The first system is the threat system and this system is designed to protect us and keep us safe from danger.   ​It is a really important system if our goal is to stay alive. When this system is activated, it is often associated with feelings of anxiety, anger, disgust, sadness and shame. The model talks about different hormones and endorphins that are released in different systems.

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​The next system is the drive system. This system is linked to motivation and desire. This system kicks in if we are trying to achieve a goal, accomplish a task or moving towards something or someone we desire. This system often leads to feelings of excitement, drive, motivation, and joy. The related hormones with this system are primarily dopamine and serotonin, which are associated with pleasure, reward, and feel good sensations.

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The third system is the soothe system. This system is thought to be one that is often underdeveloped or not as large as the other systems, in particular if you are someone who often experiences anxious or distressing thoughts or if you are someone who often feels shame or guilt. This system kicks in and leads us to feel content, calm, safe and soothed. The related hormone linked to this system is oxytocin.

The soothe system is the one that compassion focused therapies encourage us to develop and grow as a way to support when we are experiencing threat system feelings and are not in fact in immediate danger. Compassion focused therapy also teaches about balance of the systems and getting to know which of our systems is more developed, understanding how it is serving us (helpful vs. harmful), and considering room to develop one of the other systems to better support us.

I like this model because it talks about these systems as ones that exist globally, in all humans. They also talk about it from the framework of it being not a matter of choice, but rather these are the systems we are born with, they are systems that exist in us, and they have specific roles and purposes. There is a reason each system is wired the way it is and they can serve us quite well in different circumstances. They language used is “it is not your fault”.

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Now, in saying it’s not our fault leaves room for compassion and understanding, but another important point is that we still have a lot of ability to cultivate, grow, and develop certain systems. I like this because it’s saying: “yes we have this hardwiring to respond to certain things and this can serve us well and sometimes it can get in the way, but we have the ability to make some changes in that”.

​We can train our brain and help guide it to respond in ways that might be more helpful rather than harmful.

If you found this post helpful, spread it by emailing to a friend or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook- Thanks! Also, be sure to come back and check out Part II, where I’ll be talking about using our 5 senses to combat anxiety.

 

 

 

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook. 

18 Jul
Anxiety, Emotions, For Parents

The Link Between Screen Time and Teen Depression

As a parent, it can be easy to question the amount of time your teen is spending on their phone and be curious about the impact on mental health. Research indicates a correlation between increased screen time and teen depression (Association of Screen Time and Depression in Adolescence), but the situation is not completely black and white. Understanding the role that technology plays in teens’ lives and the pros and cons can help inform family decisions around screen time.

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Screen Time & Teen Depression: Factors to Consider

–          There is a correlation between depression and screen time. It is true that excessive amounts of screen time can be a factor leading to depression, but teens who are struggling with depression are also likely to spend more time using technology as well (Association of Screen Time and Depression in Adolescence).

–          The amount of time looking at screens is important to consider. Research indicates that both no screen time and too much screen time (usually defined as being over 6 hours per day) can have negative effects on a teen’s mental health and development. In contrast, screen time of around 2-4 hours a day is associated with cognitive and psychosocial benefits in the teenage years (Digital media: Promoting healthy screen use in school-aged children and adolescents)

–          The content being viewed matters:

*    If your teenager is frequently looking at photoshopped images of Instagram influencers or celebrities, they often start to compare themselves to these perfect images and lifestyles. In comparing themselves to these unattainable standards, your teen’s self-esteem may start to suffer, and they are more likely to experience symptoms of depression.

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*   Technology can also be used for learning and exposure to new ideas and perspectives. School and homework are also increasingly online or require varying amounts of screen time. 

–        Technology and screen time provides teenagers with a way to connect, which is especially important during the socially isolating times of Covid-19 restrictions. Social connection, whether in-person or online, is vital in the teenage years and significantly decreases the likelihood of depression (Strong friendships in adolescence may benefit mental health in the long run).

–          Excessive time spent on screens means that your teen is being less physically active and may be missing out on other meaningful activities. Exercise is a significant protective factor against depression at any age (Keep your teen moving to reduce risk of depression).

–          Using screens right before bedtime can also delay sleep and reduce total sleep time (Youth screen media habits and sleep: sleep-friendly screen-behavior recommendations for clinicians, educators, and parents). Sleep is especially important during the teenage years, and most teenagers are not getting enough sleep. Teens who do not get enough sleep are more likely to feel depressed (Teens and sleep: Why you need it and how to get enough).

Teen Depression: Making a Plan for Screen Time

In collaborating on a screen time plan, think about having screen-free times or zones and what that may look like. For example, maybe there is a family agreement that cellphones will be put away during dinner, or that cellphones will be turned off an hour before bedtime.

Educate your teen on the pros and cons of technology use. Help them develop a critical eye that questions the information they are reading and the images they are seeing. Online safety is another very important conversation to have.

Role model what healthy technology use can look like, and encourage open and honest conversations with your teen.

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Consider incorporating more variety into the day or week, whether that be sports, a family walk, volunteering, or some other activity that encourages your teen to be present and engaged in the moment.

Use technology and screen time as a way to connect with your teen. Be curious about what they like about it and what they find meaningful or funny. If appropriate, maybe there is even a game to participate in together!

At the end of the day, each family needs to make their own decisions about screen time, knowing it will evolve as time goes, and find a way that best fits them. The key is to find a balance and to remember that screen time is neither all-good nor all-bad.

If you’re seeing your teen go through depression and are needing some support, my name is Jessa Tiemstra and I specialize in counselling for teen girls in Alberta, Canada. You can book a free consultation with me HERE.

Jessa is a counsellor that has recently completed her master of counselling degree through Athabasca University.

She is highly passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and it is an honour for her to work alongside teens and their parents.

A few of her favourite things are spending time with her family, friends and pets, being in nature, cooking and eating delicious food. And also, she loves plants!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

16 May
Anxiety, Emotions, For Parents, For Teens

Routines for Teen Mental Health

Teen Mental Health

If I have to use one more tissue, I am calling up my investor to buy shares in their company! Being sick can sure slow things down and get you thinking…

My thoughts have not always been great company. Over the years, I’ve learned that even unwelcome company can be ok with the right approach. 

My mental health has had highs and lows over the years. In my teens and right after having my kiddos are times that I distinctly remember struggling to be well. And thanks to A LOT of self-reflection and some trial and error, I’ve come up with a pretty solid mental health routine that feels like the right panacea of care for me. 

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What is mental health anyways? I look at it as anything related to your overall well-being (your mind, body, heart, and soul). 

I know it’s not a one size fits all. Even sometimes my routine doesn’t prevent me from having bad days or tough feelings. What it does though is help my mind be in its best possible state to sit with and go through life experiences. And it helps me bounce back from difficult times and cherish beautiful moments. 

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If your teen daughter is struggling with her mental health right now, don’t give up – there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Having a teen struggle is also taxing on your own mental health as a parent. So I’m sharing the things I include in my mental health routine in the hopes to inspire you (and your daughter) to be curious to try out your own mental health routines to see what works for you.

 

 

Teen Mental Health: Ideas for Your Mental Health Routine

  1. Meditation– I meditate each morning before I start the action of my day and really find it settles my mind.
  2. Exercise– Over the years my exercise routines have changed. I definitely try to get 30 minutes of movement each day (except for days like today where I’m not well)- even a walk counts on days where I have less energy.

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  3. Sugar lows– This is the biggest challenge for me, but I know when I eat less (and sometimes no) refined sugars I am my most calm and even self. Kicking the sugar habit is one that I struggle with the most.
  4. Reading– Whether I’m reading for entertainment or learning, immersing myself in a good book is so good for my mental health. I try to read a little each day.

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  5. Podcasts– I love to learn and love stories, so podcasts are a great way to connect with both of these. In fact, the Hard As A Mother Podcast is a wonderful resource for parents. You can find their episode on teen mental health (featuring me) here: Ep. 38 Mental Health in Teens f. Chantal Cote.
     
  6. Art– I don’t do this every day. Some weeks I spend more time writing poetry and drawing, other times I am appreciating other artists and their creations. Being around art and allowing myself to be creative is very important for my mental health.
  7. Friends– Connecting with my friends, hearing about their lives, laughing and being there for each other is something I notice when I’m neglecting. If your teen doesn’t have a lot of friends and you’re worried about it, I wrote a blog article specifically for you! You can read it here: My Teen Doesn’t Have A Lot of Friends – Should I Be Concerned?
  8. Laughter– This is like medicine to me and I can tell when I haven’t been laughing or playing much. Sometimes I put on a cheesy romantic comedy movie to get me laughing. I’ve also been to laughter yoga a few times which was remarkable and strange at the same time.

    Photo by Canva

  9. Time with Loved Ones– I do like solo time to recharge my batteries. I also know that spending time with the people I feel most connected to fills me with love and gratitude.
  10. Trying new things– I have to step out of my comfort box and remind myself of this one. When I do, my brain and body light up- it is important to live a life of adventure for me.
  11. Time with animals– I feel honoured to have a special bond with animals and as soon as I am with them, all my worries melt away.
  12. Volunteering– I have been volunteering since I was a teen. Contributing and doing things for others makes me feel good and it makes a difference in their lives so it is truly a win-win.

    You can find 50 ways to involve your teen in community service (as well as volunteering) on the TeenLife blog HERE.
  13. Organizing– This one is also a challenge for me for my creative brain, but I definitely feel more calm in a space that has order. I usually pick a small area to organize and feel my blood pressure drop at the finished product.
  14. Physical Touch– Hugs, sitting on the couch with toes touching (I know it makes some squeamish), snuggling, even high fives, I do like feeling physically connected to others.

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  15. Affirmations– Lately I’ve been using an app that sends me affirmations a few times a day. I appreciate reading the statements, they remind me to take a moment to breathe and think about something positive. 
  16. Being part of support groups– This has changed for me at different times. Currently I’m part of a few different groups of people who encourage each other while sharing their gifts and talents with one and another.

    The Happiness Pill Program:

    a 4-month group program I designed specifically for teen girls experiencing struggles with perfectionism, anxiety, or depression. Teens get some 1:1 appointments on me for specific tools, as well as weekly calls with teens experiencing similar struggles as them. For parents, there are 8 group calls – the best part about these groups so far, has been the community the parents have built! You can read more about the program HERE – it is available online for anyone in North America!

     

  17. Learning something new each day– I enjoy gaining new knowledge and new perspectives. Learning is informal and can come from many different places including the people I meet each day, the resources I read and listen to, the new things I try, and so on.
  18. Walking in nature– As soon as I am outside and hear the sounds of nature and look at incredible landscapes, I am hooked- being in nature is definitely my happy place. It can be seaside or mountainside, I’m not picky.  
  19. Dreaming and setting goals– I can’t say enough about having something to go for. It has been important to me to have a sense of purpose and be moving towards a goal or an idea. I find it fuels me greatly.

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  20. Loving and Gratitude– The opposite of goal setting for me is taking the time to be in the moment and to appreciate everything right in front of me. Each day I take the time to say in my mind what I am grateful for. My mind then gets better at noticing small things throughout the day that are special and delightful.

    You can read more on the science behind gratitude for teens in a blog article Jessa Tiemstra wrote, a Provisional Psychologist on our team: Teen Happiness: The Science Behind Gratitude.

I’d love to hear what is part of your routine! You can email me any time with your ideas or questions at info@pyramidpsychology.com.

Teen Mental Health: Free Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

If your teen daughter is a high achieving girl with big dreams, who is being held back by struggles with perfectionism, anxiety, and/or depression, the Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls is for you. You will receive a free PDF with 10 tools you can immediately implement to support your daughter, alongside several free webinars with various topics for improving your relationship with your teen. You can download your copy here:

Anxiety Toolkit

 

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Talk to you soon

Love,
Chantal 

 

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

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