Teen girl in hijab smiling with self compassion
08 Sep
Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens

A Guide to Self-Compassion for Teen Girls

A Guide to Self-Compassion for Teen Girls

Have you realized that being compassionate and accepting of others, their mistakes and their flaws is quite easy to do? But when it comes to us, we struggle with exercising self-compassion ourselves… Ever wondered where this comes from? Well, most of the time we hold ourselves to a higher standard, which at times costs us our humanity. To add, it could also be influenced by how we are raised, natured, and cared for, cultural, and traditional factors and systematic exclusions too. Here are some tips to help build self-compassion: 

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

———

If you are struggling with self-compassion and feel stuck in a cycle of self-judgement and critique, ask yourself, how would you treat a friend in a similar situation? And then apply that response to your given situation. This allows you to learn and make room for mistakes, and at the end of the day, we are all human and you are not alone in being imperfect. As no one is.  What could also help is making time for caring for yourself and your needs? Self-care could be of great help to engaging in self-compassion as viewing yourself as deserving of care and engaging in self-care practices allows you to note how self-compassion is also a crucial part of your human experience. 

 

teen girl proud of herself as she builds self compassion

Photo by Alex McCarthy on Unsplash

Another tip would be to try to be more self-accepting of who you are and your own journey. Everyone is on their own unique path and how it lays out can be very different from our own. What difference would it make if you engaged in self-acceptance of your shortcomings, our critical self-talk and realized these elements do not make our whole existence and might actually take up about 1% of who we are? This can also allow one to focus on their strengths rather than weaknesses that do not define the overall you. We create space to discover what aligns and is important to us by letting go of what isn’t right or ours to carry. Self-acceptance allows us to accept things for what they are and hold space for emotions that come along. By paying attention to our emotions and feelings, we also master what they can be trying to tell us about what we really need in life and what is important to us. 

 

Exercising mindfulness could do wonders for the self. This means allowing yourself to live in the present moment, and accepting things as they are. Mindfulness can be an important practice as it allows us to be present, as at times our inner critique is often at the forefront of our decisions, and who we are as people, and thus dictates the narrative we choose to believe. Practising mindfulness, allows us to be mindful of where our thoughts go to (sometimes to the past or future), which can result in us beating ourselves up, for things we cannot change or beyond our control.  By practicing mindfulness, we allow the experience to be there as it is, examine what is going on, practice curiosity and attend to what to happening with mindfulness and care. As well as kindness. 

 

Here are some guided meditations that you could use when trying to practice self-compassion-related mindfulness: https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/

teen girl meditating as part of her self compassion practice

Photo by Imani Bahati on Unsplash

 

Self compassion is an up and down journey that takes time to work through. Most adults still aren’t all the way there! If you would like 1:1 support, but aren’t sure if therapy is a good option for you, read our blog:

 

4 Ways to Tell If Teen Therapy Is Right For You

 

We have several therapists you can get to know, and book a free consultation with, here:

BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION (for Alberta teens aged 11-21)

 

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

———

04 Aug
For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

4 Ways for Teen Girls to Have A Successful School Year

Yeahyyy! It’s back to school season! I am going to share 4 ways for teen girls to have a successful school year. Simple tips and tricks with a big impact!

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Successful School Year, Tip #1: Switch Up Your Routine, Slowly But Surely

Coming back to school from a 2 month break can be hard. What could help is slowly adjusting yourself to the changes that will take place. E.g. come up with a back to school routine that you can slowly get into with changes each day.

Successful School Year, Tip #2: Prepare the Night Before and Make a To Do List

Get everything that you need done a night before such that, you can get to ease into your school day. With no rush or panic. E.g. things that could help is do your homework, prepare for the next day classes, plan your outfit. Go to bed on time such that you can wake up on time for school. Have a to do list for after school that you need to complete and one for the day of school. This helps you stay organized and top of things. 

Successful School Year, Tip #3: Eat Your Breakfast

Eat your breakfast! Most important meal of the day! Ensure you are fed such that you can have some fuel to carry you through the school

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

days

Successful School Year, Tip #4: No Man Is An Island, Stay Connected with Friends and Make Friends

Stay connected with friends be it at school or home. What makes school more fun is the company you keep, your go to’s for the ups and downs you will face in the school term, people that can be of support with school work in itself. E.g. if your friend is good in science and they can be of help to you in that subject be open to receiving. Same goes for you. We need each other, one way or the other.

Also, in the process, maintain healthy boundaries. It’s okay to let others down that is part of life especially if you do not have the capacity to be there for others. It’s okay to communicate that as well. Make new friends, as you grow and evolve some people will fall away, create room for new connections knowing that not everyone is for a life time but a season at times. 

And, if you’re struggling with keeping friends, know that this is a skill to be learned – it isn’t something that comes naturally to all of us! I wrote an article to help you learn this skill: How to Be A Good Friend (for Teen Girls). Hope it helps!

 

As the school year continues, there will be ups and downs. It is not a journey that is meant to do alone! You can work with me 1:1 through anxiety, getting your routine right, and finding + keeping friends. Book a free consultation with me here (for Alberta residents).

Love,

Chipo

Register Social Worker offering counseling for female identifying teens (11-21 years old)

 

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

black girl writing affirmations for teen girls
21 Jul
Confidence, Emotions, For Teens

10 Inner Power Affirmations for Teen Girls

10 Inner Power Affirmations for Teen Girls

With these 10 inner power affirmations for teen girls, you can empower yourself in all things friendship, community, and relationships.

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

 

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

 

10 Inner Power Affirmations for Teen Girls

black girl writing teen affirmations in her journal

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

  1. I am worthy of meaningful and healthy relationships. 
  2. I will do my best to cultivate healthy and meaningful relationships. 
  3. I deserve relationships where I can be my authentic self, without performance. Or pretence. 
  4. I am worthy as I am by just being me. My human worth is unmeasurable. 
  5. No one can be me and that is my superpower.
  6. I will strive for consistency over perfection in my relationships with others. 
  7. I am deserving of the same level of compassion I give others. 
  8. I am my oldest friend and will do better in caring for myself. 
  9. I allowed being more than one thing. There are many parts to my existence—all matter. 
  10. I am abundance in human form. I have a ton of love that can go around.

Take the affirmations that resonate with you, and read/say them to yourself as often as you need!

Keep the list and review it regularly as well. The ones that resonate will likely change as your life does.

And, when you’re ready, you can add a gratitude practice to your affirmations. Teen Happiness: The Science Behind Teen Gratitude is an article (written by my colleague here at Pyramid Psychology) to help you get started!

And if you’d like support creating your own affirmations or gratitude practice for your personal situation, book a free consultation with me. I am a Registered Social Worker supporting teen girls like YOU to love themselves from the inside out. Affirmations are a great first step!

 

Love,

Chipo

Register Social Worker offering counseling for teen girls (11-21 years old)

 

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

two teen girls depicting manipulative teen friendships
14 Jul
For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

3 Ways to Spot Manipulative Teen Friendships

3 Ways to Spot Manipulative Teen Friendships

 

As a girl developing teen friendships, it can be difficult to really know your identity, and whether or not your friendships would be considered a manipulative teen friendship. In my experience personally, I accepted other people’s views of me to be true. A lot of times teen girls in therapy sessions with our team are very focused on fitting in with the crowd and doing what is socially acceptable. They may feel that they will not be liked or that they will be judged if they do things differently that may be more true to them or their personality. If this sounds like you, you’re in the right place!

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

girl in black and white depicting manipulative teen friendships

Photo by St Janko Ferlic on Unsplash

In my teen years, I would often feel very self conscious about my introversion and my lack of interest in going to parties and using substances like drugs and alcohol. It definitely got a lot easier to accept myself, after junior high and high school. Know that you are not alone in this feeling. You will have to accept that not everyone is going to like you, for reasons that may not have anything to even do with you. We all have our own perceptions, preferences and opinions. We cannot control how others feel about us because sometimes those people are not meant for us.

But, in my experience there will always be someone that can see your light and inner beauty. So, enjoy the people that can see how great you are and choose them as your friends. You need people in your life that will appreciate and uplift you. It is not about the quantity of friends or being “popular”, but it is about the quality of the relationships. Even having one close amazing friend that understands you is enough.

When you are getting to know someone, you may feel a strong connection, feel drawn towards them and feel good around them. You may have things in common, and you may finally feel understood or even at peace or at home with the person. This is sometimes a good thing, but there also can be manipulating people out there. Here are some tips to become aware of the types of relationships you are having, and ensure they are not manipulative.

 

3 Ways to Spot Manipulative Teen Friendships:

 

Spotting Manipulative Teen Friendships Tip #1:

two girls depicting teen friendships

Photo by Billie on Unsplash

It is important to watch how you are being treated by them. If they are keeping secrets from you, being dishonest or misleading, or

disrespecting you–  these are signs of an unhealthy relationship. Don’t blame yourself, because it may not be about you. Some people have trauma based on upbringing and past experiences and this can affect how they interact and treat other people. Maya Angelou said, when people show you who you are – believe them, the first time.

Sometimes what people say can be very contradicting to how they are acting towards you or how they make you feel. It is healthy for you to forgive, so you can be at peace with yourself but that does not mean that you have to accept the behavior or even continue talking to them.

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

Spotting Manipulative Teen Friendships Tip #2:

two teen girls depicting manipulative teen friendships

Photo by Andrea Tummons on Unsplash

Get to know someone really well before giving them a lot of trust. You might start to notice things in their character or personality, so it is important to really get to know someone well and to know when to walk away. If this person is hurting you emotionally, and makes you feel

worthless – it is time to take a good look at this relationship. This is still a difficult thing to do for me, but when a negative relationship ends there is usually someone a lot better waiting for you.

Spotting Manipulative Teen Friendships Tip #3:

Take time to analyze your family dynamics and how they may influence your friendships and/or partner. A lot of things can influence your relationships growing up, as well. Things such as your family life, and your relationships with your mother and father. It’s been said that relationships with your siblings will influence your choice of friends, while your relationship with your parents will influence your romantic relationships. So a lot of it has to do with how you were raised, and how your family dynamics are. Sometimes if we were raised in an unhealthy environment at home, we will see those same attributes in a friend or romantic partner because it is familiar to us. Then we will want to hang onto that, even though it is not healthy for us. This can be a very difficult thing because healthy relationships may seem boring and we feel less of a connection. The unhealthy relationships in comparison seem much more exciting. Things

family dynamics determine possibility of struggles with teen friendships

Photo by Serhat Beyazkaya on Unsplash

like this should be brought up in therapy, to address the underlying issues that we may not even be aware of.

If the same things keep happening in relationships, such as experiences with abusive behavior we have to take a look at what is getting us into these situations. If we want to live healthy, successful lives, it’s important to start treating ourselves with respect and care and avoid the situations that can cause serious harm and consequences to our lives. We all have the freedom of choice, so it’s important to recognize these types of people and make the decision to surround ourselves with the positive and uplifting ones. 

Relationships are an essential part of our health and wellbeing. Just like eating healthy food vs. eating junk food, we need to make the best choices of what kind of people we associate ourselves with.

We are here to help you make the right choice, so you can be the best version of yourself! If you want to dive deeper into what a healthy friendship looks like, here are 7 Wise Friendship Must’s for Teen Girls, written by Psychologist Jessa Tiemstra on the Pyramid Psychology Team.

 

Love,

Kari

Admin Team Member at Pyramid Psychology

Building unbreakable mindsets for teen girls age 11-21 🧠💪🏻 (therapy and coaching)

 

Kari Bonnyman is a personal assistant from Nova Scotia, Canada. She is passionate about mental health and wellness and has first hand experience with strategies that have helped her navigate through the challenges of life. She loves doing breathwork, yoga, journalling, meditation, reading self help books related to mental health, volunteering to help others and focusing on her spiritual journey. When she is not working she can be found doing art, travelling, listening to spiritual/personal development podcasts, at the beach or in nature, and practicing French and Spanish.

teen strengths

Kari Bonnyman, Personal Assistant at Pyramid Psychology

23 Jun
Confidence, Emotions, For Teens, Self Image & Body Image, Self-Compassion

4 Questions to Separate Teen Self-Worth from Exam Results

Teen self-worth, self-esteem, self-what?

It is exam time for many of the teens that I have the privilege of working with, and many, like you, are feeling some level of stress or anxiety about studying and what final grade they will end up with. There is certainly a healthy level of stress that can motivate you to study, work hard, and perform better on tests (check out the Yerkes-Dodson Law!). For others, however, the stress and anxiety can be so high that it starts to feel debilitating.

If you are experiencing these high levels of stress yourself, it can be helpful to look at both practical strategies and explore deeper-level factors. As some of my lovely colleagues have already written blogs providing practical tips and tools, in this blog I’ll focus on something else: self-worth.

 

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

teen friendship

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

 

 

When I say self-worth, I mean that deep sense of knowing you have inherent value and are worthy of respect no matter what. It is not influenced by the grade you got. It is not impacted by athletic ability or creativity. It does not depend on any personal beliefs you may hold.

teen self worth

Photo by
Ömer Haktan Bulut

And it’s certainly not impacted by what others may be saying or not saying at school. Self-worth is a part of who you are. It is not dependent on what you do.  

For teens who are struggling during exam time, I am often curious to hear what they have to say about the idea of teen self-worth.

  • Do the grades of others define their worth? (“No!”)
  • Do you treat classmates differently depending on what grades they are getting in school? (“No”)
  • Do your grades define your worth as a human being? (“…no”)

Hmmm… interesting!

Even when teens can answer these questions, they often say that it still feels like their worth is dependent on their grades. That feeling is a hard thing to shake, especially after so many years of positive reinforcement from that good feeling we get when we get a good grade in school. Just because we feel a certain way, however, it does not make it true. Untrue thoughts are known as thinking traps. My mentor and the Founder of Pyramid Psychology wrote a blog on thinking traps HERE.

I can sit here and type out what I think about self-worth, but in truth, this topic will be significantly more meaningful to you if you spend some time reflecting. Here are a few ideas to think about, journal on, or even explore with someone you know:

 

4 Journal Questions to Separate Your Teen Self-Worth from Exam Results

teen self worth

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

  1. What is the difference between who I am and what I do? How do academics and grades fit into this? 
  2. What is self-worth, what is self-esteem, and what may be different between the two concepts? 
  3. What feedback am I using to inform how I see myself? Are these sources true, helpful, or accurate? 
  4. Am I letting feedback, such as grades or what other people think, impact my deeper sense of self-worth?

It can be disappointing when we get lower grades than we are hoping for. In taking time to think about some of these ideas, I hope that the disappointment is directed at the grade and does not turn inward to negatively affect your self-worth. Your self-worth does not depend on your grades.

If you find yourself struggling with teen self-worth, or connecting your worth to exam results, I want you to know you aren’t alone.

I offer 1:1 support to work through these emotions and build strategies for the future. You can book a free consultation with me HERE (for teens in Alberta, Canada).

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

teen self-worth

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

As a bonus question, you may find it helpful to know that in my sessions with teens, concerns about “trauma dumping”, people pleasing, and avoiding (healthy) conflict often come up. How might these concerns fit into the concept of healthy boundaries?

 

If starting this conversation with your teen brings up more questions, we would love to hear from you!

You can email our team with next steps at info@pyramidpsychology.com

Love, Jessa

 

Jessa is a registered psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

text anxiety
09 Jun
Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens, Teen Joy

Teen Test Anxiety: 8 Simple Ways Parents Can Help

8 Simple Ways Parents Can Help Teens with Test Anxiety

Well, it looks like it is that time of year again – text anxiety is back!

End of a school year. And you know what that means, right? Tests! Lots of tests. The unfortunate reality of tests is the dreaded test anxiety that can sometimes go with it.

But its ok, we got you!

 

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How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

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Most often test anxiety is produced by the apprehension and pressure to do well on an evaluation. Test anxiety can show up in both physical (fight or flight) and mental (worry, about information recall). However, some anxiety is normal and can help one in a test while for others it can be debilitating. So, what can we do as parents to help support that test anxiety?

Here are 8 Ways Parents Can Help with Test Anxiety:

test anxiety

Photo from Canva Pro

Tip #1: Talk About It

Well, step one talk about the test with your teen, what is causing worry? Perhaps it’s the material, maybe it’s the setting? Has your teen studied the material; do they understand it?

Talk about the worry. Talking about it can help it become much smaller.

 

Tip #2: Visualize

Visualize the test day… What does your teen need to have to be prepared? Have them imagine walking into the test feeling positive and prepared to write it. Talk about the test with them and go through how they want the test to be, and how they want the outcome result to be.

 

Tip #3: Expectations

Talk about rational expectations. If your teen has not been present in class or is missing key components, they might not be able to get the grades they wish for. And that is ok, try to work through any catastrophizing thoughts they may have, and discuss the reality of the situation.

 

Tip #4: Mindfulness

Mindfulness, talk about being in the present moment with your teen, especially when they begin to feel overly anxious. Focus on one task at a time. Stay in the moment and with each thought that appears don’t judge it, just recognize that it is just a thought and let it go.

test anxiety

Photo from Canva Pro

 

Tip #5: Negative Self-Talk

Encourage your teen to practice replacing negative self-talk with more rational thoughts. Remind them to take a moment to acknowledge how far they have come and give themselves praise.

 

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How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

 

Tip #6: Name Anxiety

Talk to your teen about naming their test anxiety. Naming it creates the idea that it exists outside of your teen, putting distance between them and their uncomfortable thoughts.

 

test anxiety

Photo from Canva Pro

Tip #7: Self-Care

As parents we really want to focus on the basics here as well – good sleep hygiene, a healthy diet, and the inclusion of some moderate to light exercise to keep healthy. Look at other stressors in your teens life and look to reduce anything for a bit to help take some of the pressure off.

 

Tip #8: Celebrate

Celebrate small achievements your teen makes along the way. Congratulate them on trying. Celebrate that they did something that was hard and uncomfortable. Cheer when they study.

Check out 5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun (blog written by a colleague in the Pyramid Psychology Family) to learn more ways to celebrate along the way.

Plan something for your teen to look forward to after their exams.

 

Take one of these tips at a time and implement them into life with your teen. You will be amazed at how much of a difference your support can make! (And you will feel less like you’re hopelessly watching on the outside, too).

Before I go, here is a BONUS TIP for your teen with exam anxiety! Offer for them to try a guided meditation the next time you’re driving them somewhere or there’s a quiet moment at home. Click here to listen to one I like.

Love,

Tara Aldie

Graduate Student in Counselling offering affordable counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old) online, and in person in Airdrie, Alberta

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada – $40 per session. Free consultation here.

 

—————————————

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

 

About Tara

Hello, my name is Tara, and I am a graduate student in counselling, I will be doing my practicum at Pyramid Psychology and I am very excited to practice all the skills I have learned as well as develop new relationships.

I have experience working with youth and teens and I also navigate parenting to four of my own kids. I tend to work with a solution focused, client centred and cognitive behavioural approach. I know that being a teen is tough, and sometimes are problems exasperated by social media and technology.

I struggled with fitting in as a teen, and I really felt that I didn’t belong. After years of soul searching and many personal ups and downs, I realized that my uniqueness was a strength. My goal is to help navigate through these difficult times while promoting self-discovery and personal strengths.

I understand that parents can often feel confused and left out of their teen’s life. I look to bridge the gap between these differences through positive communication. Teens need all the support they can get; the world and relationships can often seem crazy and unrelatable. I work to help bring closeness within existing supports and help develop and foster relationships.

With art, music, writing, play and movement we can work together to help promote self-discovery. I look forward to creating a positive and healing journey with you!

Book a free consultation with me here.

Serving teens in Alberta age 11-18, online or in person (Airdrie, Alberta).

high school exams
02 Jun
Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens, Teen Joy

5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun

5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun

The stress caused by high school exams is real… Here are 3 practical ways to help you make the experience fun!

 

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

 

teen friendship

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

 

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

Here are 5 ways to help make exams more fun:

Tip#1: Normalize exam stress

It’s important to note that exam season in itself is stressful, and can promote worry, and tension in relation to being in a test-taking situation.

high school exams

Photo by Averie Woodard

It is normal to feel stress related to upcoming texts or exams which could also serve as a motivation to do your best, by being prepared. Could be tailored into “good stress”. Nonetheless, exam stress might as well trigger depression and anxiety, and affect your eating and sleeping habits. If exam pressure and the taking of the exam in itself starts to take over your life, it would best to let others know, so you can be best supported as needed.

 

Tip #2: Do what makes you happy.

Everyone has tools that help them cope in stressful situations. These could include but not limited to, taking breaks in between study sessions, listening to music, going for a walk, having a change of scenery, watching a YouTube video, watching your favourite show, or comedy, going through a bunch of memes, exercising, giving into your cravings, doodling and meditating.

Engaging in suitable self-care could help as well, such as ensuring you are eating regularly, and you are keeping up with your sleep hygiene patterns. 

 

Tip #3: Talk about exam stress with your peers, classmates, and friends.

You might find that others might be experiencing or going through a similar range of emotions as you are during high school exams. They say, “a problem shared is a problem half solved”. This might not make you feel better but helps you understand that you are not alone. You have a tribe of other individuals experiencing similar things that you can actually relate too.

Also, you might learn one or two things that could be of help in assisting you cope.

If you find your peer group isn’t super helpful during high school exams, consider therapy as a place to de-stress. There doesn’t have to be anything majorly wrong to speak to a therapist – I am here to help! No judgment.

Alberta residents can book a free consultation call with me HERE. I offer both online and in-person appointments (Calgary).

 

high school exams

Photo by Desola Lanre-Ologun on Unsplash

Tip #4: You could join or create a study group.

Working with and being a part of a study group could help boost your confidence in nailing your exams, by being able to practice exam questions together, get and share different perspectives on possible exam questions, laugh, cry together and hence build momentum to keep you going. 

 

Tip #5: Understand that this is a learning experience.

Doing your best whatever that looks like is good enough.

If part of your stress around high school exams is what happens AFTER graduation, here is a helpful blog article by a colleague of mine: Teen Graduation: High School Graduation.

 

Love,

Chipo Bvindi

Registered Social Worker offering counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old)

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada. Free consultation here.

—————————————v

help teen girls

Teen Mental Health Handbook Cover

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

parent relationship with teens
26 May
For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

5 Ways to Fortify Your Parent Relationship With Your Teen Daughter

5 Ways to Fortify Your Parent Relationship With Your Teen Daughter

The #1 question I get from parents in sessions is “how can I strengthen (AKA fortify) my parent relationship with my daughter?”. Your daughter’s teen years are an exciting time or growth and independence… And it can also be a terrifying time when you feel like you’re in the dark and disconnected from her.

 

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

 

Raising a teen is not easy and I’m smack dab in the middle of it as I write this. I remind myself every day that the relationship with

parent relationship with teens

Photo created with elements on Canva Pro

him matters more now than ever.

 

And yet… As I wait for my my son in the dentist’s office, ocean dreams with colourful fish swimming through the waters playing on the TV monitor, I find myself strangely at ease. 

Words you need to hear as a parent of a teenage daughter:

5 Ways to Fortify Your Parent Relationship With Your Teen Daughter

#1 – Give yourself some grace and kindness

The world of adolescence is complex and filled with more questions than answers. How do you know if you’re doing the right thing? How do you guide them to make smart decisions? How do you help them when they’re struggling? 

Wheeewwwww – take a breath with me – it can be heavy. You are not alone and you are doing the best you can with what you know right now. Start there 🧡

 

#2 – See the world through their eyes

Remember what it was like to be 12? 16? Imagine what it’s like to be 12 or 16 today…. Imagine what it’s like to be your daughter right now. 

parent relationship with teens

Photo from Canva Pro

I become like the grinch at the end of the movie when I think of this. My heart grows 3 times bigger. 

 

#3 – Learn to Speak her love language 

Not everyone shows and receives love in the same way. Even in families, there can be big differences in how each member displays their affection and care towards each other.

Take a minute to learn yours and your teen daughter’s love language. It’ll go a long way in bonding your relationship. You can both take a free quiz here to get started: Love Languages Quiz.

 

#4 – Say yes to connecting

Her timing might be off sometimes. Her desire might be little. Her sharing might be spontaneous. What’s more, you might not be in the mood for a heart to heart. 

But I promise those moments, no matter how small or brief, make such a huge difference.

Whether it’s a high five, a smile, sharing a Matcha tea together, or talking about her hopes and dreams while lying side-by-side in her bed, say yes to connect.

 

#5 – When all else fails, Laugh. 

parent relationship with teens

Photo by Joel Mott on Unsplash

Humour has the power of diffusing tense situations. It has the potential of opening doors around sensitive topics. It has the possibility to

change moods and uplift. It has the potency to  release stress. It has the power to connect and the gift of perspective. 

Obviously, laughter is not the solution to everything but bringing some levity and lightness to any relationship can bring more ease.

Find that playful part of you, maybe tucked away deep inside. Give yourself permission to laugh at yourself once in a while, make light of something that brings the two of you together, and help your daughter find the “not so serious” about things at times.

Some final words that stuck with me the other day-. 

“You will teach them to fly, but they will not fly your flight. You will teach them to dream, but they will not dream your dream. You will teach them to live, but they will not live your life”.- Raising Teens Today 

Love,

Chantal

Psychologist, Teen Life Coach, and Founder of Pyramid Psychology

FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

teen friendship
21 Feb
For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

7 Wise Friendship Must’s for Teen Girls

7 Wise Friendship Must’s for Teen Girls

 

This blog post is for teens who may be struggling to know what a “wise” friendship looks like. I have put together a few ideas below, but we would love to hear your ideas as well!

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

I think it is safe to say most of us have heard the adage, “choose your friends wisely”. What exactly that means, however, is talked about less frequently.

teen friendship

Photo by Gemma Chua-Tran on Unsplash

Choose your friendships wisely… what it DOESN’T mean:

  1.       My friend will never make mistakes.

Everyone makes mistakes at some point, and a friend is no different. Being able to forgive, both ourselves and others, is an important part of healthy communication and friendship.

  1.       My friend and I must have the same interests.

Having interests in common with a friend can be a wonderful thing! That doesn’t mean, however, that you must share a lot of the same interests in order to be friends. Sometimes we can learn the most from people who have different values or interests than us.

  1.       My friend and I will share everything with each other.

There is a greater degree of openness and vulnerability with good friends, but this does not mean we need to share everything with each other. Finding healthy boundaries about what to share, how much to share, and when, is a key part of making wise friendships.

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

teen friendship

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

Choose your friendships wisely… what it DOES mean:

  1.       My friend and I will support each other.

In a healthy friendship, there will be mutual support. This does not mean the support is available 24/7 or that it will always be delivered in your ideal way (different love languages, anyone?), but a good friend will want to listen, understand, and support you in what you may be going through.

  1.       My friend and I are allowed to have boundaries.

Everyone is different and will have different boundaries based on factors like interests, values, activities, time, energy, topics of conversation, and needs. Understanding that a good friend may have different boundaries than you is a sign of a healthy friendship.

teen friendship

Photo by Katy Anne on Unsplash

  1.       My friend and I have mutual respect and honesty.

In the context of people being human, making mistakes, and being so different, a sign of a healthy friendship is being honest with each other and respecting differences.  This means both respecting our friends, but also respecting ourselves. A friendship is unlikely to always be 50/50, but it should also not always be one-sided.

  1.       My friend and I have a dynamic friendship.

What I mean by this is that a healthy friendship will have moments of fun, deeper conversation, adventure, support, learning, casual times, and more. If you notice that your friend is always talking about really hard, difficult things, or that maybe you never talk about anything more personal, it may be time to switch it up a bit! 

These are just a few ideas about what a wise friendship may or may not look like, but there are many more! If you have any ideas you would like to share, send us a note on Instagram or even e-mail at jessa@pyramidpsychology.com.

Choose those friends wisely 😊

Love,

Jessa

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

 

 

teen emotions
06 Feb
For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

7 Steps to Handle Big Teen Emotions

7 Steps to Handle Big Teen Emotions

If you’re a teen looking to manage big emotions, this blog article is for you.

teen emotions

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

Is there a big feeling that you have been experiencing recently? Anger? Sadness? Frustration? Loneliness? Guilt?

It’s hard to be a teen. There are so many things going on in your life and sometimes it can feel like no one understands you.

As a teenager, there are many ways to manage these big feelings and sometimes it might feel as though these are taking over your life. If you’re looking for ways to manage some of these big emotions, read on!

 

7 Steps to Handle Big Emotions

teen emotions

Photo from Canva Pro

It’s time to use your creativity and imagination. Let’s do an exercise together…..

Step 1: Pick one emotion that you have recently been feeling. As an example, I’ll pick sadness.

Step 2: If you had to imagine what sadness looks like, what shape would it be? What colour(s) is sadness? Does sadness look big or small? 

Tip: You may be thinking, what is this blogger talking about?! Stay with me and experiment!

 

Step 3: To the best of your ability, draw sadness on a blank sheet of paper.

Tip: Have you watched the movie Inside Out? Perhaps this will give you some ideas on how to draw the emotion that is currently visiting you.

Here are some examples to spark your creativity:

Sadness:

teen emotions

www.easydrawingguides.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anger:

teen emotions

www.nytimes.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

teen emotions

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

It is natural for teen feelings of self-acceptance to fluctuate over the course of your life, especially as you work through the teen years. You are continually evolving and growing! Remember that self-acceptance is a journey. 

The practice of meditation is unique to each individual. One person will not have the same experience as another, so don’t compare yourself to anyone else as you go down this path.

 

Step 4: Now, write the following answer to these questions beside your drawing:

  • When does sadness grow?
  • When does sadness shrink?
  • When does sadness visit less often? More often?
  • When sadness is around what are you doing? 
  • If sadness was not around, what would you be doing?
  • When was a time when sadness disappeared? What were you doing before it disappeared? What were you doing after sadness disappeared? What did you do to help sadness leave?

 

teen emotions

Photo from Canva Pro

 Step 5: If you feel comfortable, share the drawing with someone special in your life. Talk to them about the answers to your questions. Perhaps there is an opportunity to ask them these same questions. If you are working with a therapist who works with teens, like the therapists at Pyramid Psychology, ask them to talk to you more about your drawing and the answers to some of the questions above.

My colleague wrote an article to help you decide if teen therapy is a good option for you: 4 Ways To Tell If Teen Therapy Is For You.

Step 6: When sadness comes to visit you again, pull out this drawing or picture it in your mind. Sadness may visit for a while. Pay close attention to when sadness grows and when it shrinks. What did you do before and after? 

Step 7: Keep the picture of sadness with you in your backpack or store it safely at home. Take a look at it when sadness appears. Over time, the answers to your questions might evolve – that’s a natural part of dealing with big feelings.v

If you have any questions about teen emotions, shoot me a note and we can connect 🙂 My email address is fazilah@pyramidpsychology.com

If you are an Alberta, Canada resident you can also book a free consultation with me HERE.

 

Love, Fazilah

Registered Social Worker with Pyramid Psychology

Helping 100,000 Teen Girls Build Unbreakable Mindsets

 

teen emotions

Teen Mental Health Handbook

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

Is your teen having challenges navigating their current circumstances? Do you want your teen to obtain the skills and tools they need to navigate the peaks and valleys that come their way?

Are you looking for someone who can support your teen to step into their spotlight, have great relationships, and find their confidence? I speak teen. My strength is connecting with and relating to teenagers. I strive to provide a balance of learning and laughter during my sessions. Teens need a coach and therapist who they can trust to talk to about the hard stuff in their lives.

I work with teens from a range of life experiences and backgrounds. My specialities include working with teens who identify as BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of colour) and/or LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and more).

I have a Master of Social Work and a Master of Health Administration. I am also a Registered Social Worker. I have worked across the healthcare sector and served on numerous boards of directors for not-for-profit organizations.

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