26 Dec

Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation (Only 5 Questions)

January 3, 2023
By admin

Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation (Only 5 Questions)

‘Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation’ is a blog article designed for teen girls like you to ask yourself questions to discover your personal strengths.

As a teen, for me it was really difficult to have a sense of identity and to know my strengths. We are constantly told to be someone else, and not to accept ourselves. With so much peer pressure, societal pressure, and pressure from family it can be a really challenging time. It might help to reflect, ask yourself some questions and

analyse yourself and experiences.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash

Here are 5 things to consider in order to step into your spotlight and discover your spark:

Strengths Question #1:

What is something that energises you and gives you life?

What is something that you get lost in? You could easily spend hours doing it without checking the time. You get into a flow, a vibe- it takes you to a happier place. For me this has always been my artistic pursuits – doing makeup, drawing and painting portraits. I love to see the results of something I helped create and seeing those results gave me a great feeling of excitement and fulfilment, especially when my client was on the same page and really grateful for my work.

Helping people also gives me life, when my work helps to improve the life of someone else – I feel like I have a purpose. But it doesn’t all have to be about work, it could also be something like travelling or laying on the beach in the sun. Maybe you are passionate about nature or climate change.

Teen Strengths Question #2:

What do your friends and family consistently praise you for?

You might think sometimes your family and friends are just being nice, but if you keep hearing the same things over and over again about your strengths and talents there is probably some truth to what they are telling you from their perspective. So, pay attention. Maybe you are the one that everyone goes to for advice, or maybe you are a great listener and your friends always feel heard after being around you.

Some things people have told me about myself are: you have a great sense of humour, you are caring, positive, you have a strong sense of justice, you’re patient, calm

Photo from Canva Pro

, kind, brave, talented at drawing faces, talented at makeup, good language skills. It also helps to say these things to yourself as positive affirmations, you will begin to feel so multi talented and full of purpose.

Teen Strengths Question #3:

Have you tried a myers-briggs personality test?

I didn’t do this until just last year because one of my friends sent me the website link one day. Although I have already figured out a lot about myself, knowing the results from this test really helped me come to a conclusion about where my strengths lie, and it also helped me with self acceptance. It turns out I have the rarest personality type (that’s one thing that makes me unique!).

The personality test will tell you things like what jobs are best suited for your personality, what you are like in a relationship, friendships, and your strengths and weaknesses. Mine confirmed that I am introverted, and my mission in life is to help others. I have a strong sense of justice. I am also creative, I have a sense that I never quite fit in, and that I value a few deep and meaningful connections rather than lots of friends.

They are really fascinating in how accurate they are. The one I took can be found HERE.

———

Teen Mental Health Handbook

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————

Teen Strengths Question #4:

What have you been successful at?

It’s easy to look down on ourselves and think we haven’t been successful at anything. But the truth is, there are lots of things we have been good at. Looking back on my teen years, I was always good with the computer and technology. My family got our first computer when I was around 10 years old so as a teenager I was using the computer a lot. I’ve also been good with language and communication. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life when I graduated high school. There were so many options. My highest mark in school was actually in French and Global Geography. Anyone that knows me personally will see how this fits into my life now. 🙂

Specifically for work though, it is really important to know your personality and your strengths to bring more success.

Teen Strengths Question #5:

What are your values?

Photo by Microsoft Word on Unsplash

An easier way to ask this is by thinking about what you admire in other people.

I did not know that I valued spirituality until I met other people that really helped influence that. For me, a lot of my values came from the people I spent the most

time with. Through my first relationship I became really into personal development, and through my second more towards spirituality and mental health. Each day I strive to become more skilled, to continue learning, to be kind and to be of service to others. So, if I had to say one person with aspects that I really value, I would say Oprah. She is making a huge impact on the lives of others by helping to bring about positive change and awareness.

If you are here on earth you have a purpose! So keep shining your light, and don’t be afraid to be your true self. Someone in this world needs something that only you can offer. And if you think that it has already been done, just remember that it hasn’t been done by YOU.

My colleague, Jessa wrote another blog article for you on understanding your spotlight. Take a read HERE.

If you are an Alberta resident, we have several skilled psychologists/social workers that can guide you through discovering who you are, and getting through the crap life throws at you. Book a free consultation HERE.

Love,

Kari

Admin Team Member at Pyramid Psychology (soon to be ‘Unbreakable Teen Me’)

Kari Bonnyman is a personal assistant from Nova Scotia, Canada. She is passionate about mental health and wellness and has first hand experience with strategies that have helped her navigate through the challenges of life. She loves doing breathwork, yoga, journalling, meditation, reading self help books related to mental health, volunteering to help others and focusing on her spiritual journey. When she is not working she can be found doing art, travelling, listening to spiritual/personal development podcasts, at the beach or in nature, and practicing French and Spanish.

Kari Bonnyman, Personal Assistant at Pyramid Psychology

19 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

3 Ways Parents Can Help Teen Girls Find Themselves

January 3, 2023
By admin

3 Ways Parents Can Help Teen Girls Find Themselves

If you’re raising a girl, have you ever wondered what could help teen girls step into their spotlight? AKA a place where they are embracing who they truly are and the ebbs and flow of life… If so, this blog post is for you.

Here are my top 3 suggestions for helping teen girls step into their spotlight (and I will elaborate more below):

Pay attention to them
Support them to develop coping, communication, and social skills
Be a role model with your own spotlight

—————————————

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

Paying Attention

Trust me, it pays to pay attention to your teen and ensure they feel valued, needed and supported. Pay attention to what they say, what they share with you, their goals and aspirations.

Teen girls have the ability to pick up on being heard and listened to. Sometimes, I have heard teens make remarks such as “oh well that does not matter anyways, mom or dad do not care and they won’t listen to what I have to say anyways”… And I don’t think these statements just come out like that, it’s a result of continued observation of how parents or guardians display paying attention or not. Or even an indication that they don’t care, they are the parent and have authority over their kids.

Photo from Canva Pro

Developing Coping, Communication & Social Skills

You can use your own stories to share skills with teen girls that will help them navigate life’s challenges. Share some of the similar challenges you have experienced as a teen at one point in your life and how you addressed these challenges, whether it was an epic fail or success.

I think at times as parents or guardians we want to always reflect the good in what we do, but what if we shed a spotlight on our failures and shortcomings? This could help teens in developing resilience that life is not always perfect but they can strive for progress over perfection always even if their lives are flipped upside down along their journeys. This helps teen girls learn that failing or rather not getting things right is a part of life. What you do with life falling apart or not going as planned is what matters and could help teens develop skills of diverting control to what’s in their frame of control.

—————————————

Teen Mental Health Handbook Cover

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

Being A Role Model

I know no one is born or comes to planet earth with a manual on how to be a great parent. However, the least you can do is be a positive role model. By the age of 7 most of our patterns of behaviour, our beliefs and our habits are formed. This is very crucial to note in terms of development and behavioural adaptations kids may have and at the earliest this is also influenced by what they see and observe at home.

Are you a parent that shuts down when confronted. Are you a parent who yells and projects anger when in distress? Do you cope with stress by scrolling on social media for a number of hours? Do you rage at other drivers on the road? Are you able to address how you feel, and process your emotions in a healthy way? Are you taking care of your physical health too?

Teen girls are watching and also adapting some of these behaviours into their own lives. You can help them by showing them that you are working through your flaws.

Photo from Canva Pro

This blog article is food for thought and I hope it gives you an opportunity to reflect, develop some self-awareness and also think about the legacy you want to leave behind. Let’s help teen girls step into their spotlight together.

I offer private 1:1 therapy sessions to help teen girls with all of the above. I provide them with someone that is paying attention, a positive role model, and offer them various strategies to cope with life’s challenges.

If you are an Alberta resident, book your free consultation with me here.

Love,

Chipo Bvindi

Registered Social Worker offering counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old)

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

12 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

Understanding Your Spotlight (for Teen Girls)

December 15, 2022
By admin

Understanding Your Spotlight (for Teen Girls)

When we talk about stepping into your spotlight, it can be hard to know what the ‘spotlight’ is. How will you know when you have found your spotlight? Will you feel completely happy and that things are finally “perfect” when you have found it?

>>>FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to improve focus, boost happy hormones, cope with tricky feelings, and develop self-compassion.

I Want the Handbook!

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

You may disagree with me, but I tend to define “stepping into your spotlight” as a dynamic process instead of a specific goal. Your spotlight may change over time and being in your spotlight may never feel 100% happy and fuzzy – it may feel challenging, scary, but at the core it is life-giving and meaningful. Stepping into your spotlight can be making progress towards a dream career, but it can also be all those little choices you make along the way, whether an end goal is in sight or not.

Thinking about my own teen years, I was never one of those people who knew from a young age what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now that I am a little bit older, and hopefully a little wiser, I think that question can be a bit confusing. Instead of thinking about “what” I want to be, I think about “who” I want to be.

Who I want to be applies to right now, in this moment, in addition to my future hopes and dreams. I think about how I can step into my spotlight, or be my most authentic self while pursuing my goals and living according to my values, within my current reality.

>>>FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to improve focus, boost happy hormones, cope with tricky feelings, and develop self-compassion.

I Want the Handbook!

When I was considering what I wanted to be, my thoughts went into endless comparisons. It was impossible to make a “perfect” choice with so many hypotheticals and unknowns. My mind went back and forth between looking for the perfect end goal and determining that the grass is always greener on the other side. I have

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

since left this mindset behind, and have spent more time acknowledging that “the grass is greenest where you water it” (Neil Barringham).

If you already have a spotlight in mind, that is amazing! GO FOR IT!!

But if you’re like me, and you are less sure on what your spotlight looks like, know that you can find it along the way. You can read a little more about my process after high school graduation here: ‘Planning For The Future After High School Graduation’.

I am also available for 1:1 support to sort through the muck of figuring out what and who you want to be. Book your free consultation here.*

Love,

Jessa Tiemstra

Provisional Psychologist servicing teen girls and young adults.

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada

Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

05 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

5 Teen Truths

December 6, 2022
By admin

5 Teen Truths

I have a confession to make!

The other day I was volunteering to build boxes for a local charity that serves those who experience food scarcity. I got paired up with a lovely teen human. The job was pretty straightforward. Fold the box. Tape the box. Label the box. So after building a couple, you kind of get the hang of it.

This meant we had lots of time to talk. The more I listened to my table buddy, hearing about all the things they were interested in and knew about, the more my heart felt full. Then a couple days later, one of my teen client’s was telling me about their passion. She proudly shared some of her art with me. That same full heart feeling

appeared. Once again today as a parent told me how

Photo by Mike Von on Unsplash

their teen faced their fear in doing something they had been procrastinating on for a long time, the centre of my chest lit up like a Christmas Tree.

I’m starting to sense a pattern.

>>> FREE ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEEN GIRLS: The Wellness hub <<<

A private online community for teen girls only, with access to wellness resources such as audio clips & blogs:

Wellness Hub Waiting List

My Confession:

I’m a HUGE admirer of teens. I think of the curiosity, creativity, and sense of rebellion (in a let’s do it differently than the generations before us kind of energy) all bundled into one amazing vessel of potential. And, after talking to hundreds of teen girls, each is incredibly unique. Each one of you has a story to tell, experiences that have shaped you, opinions about the world, things you care about, unique taste in music, sense of fashion, relationships, etc.

I see you. I hear you. I am Inspired.

If you:

Doubt what you have to say matters. You’re not alone
Think that adults won’t pay attention or understand. You’re probably a little bit right
Hesitate because you think others will be disappointed. It’s normal (still don’t let it stop you)
Believe you don’t measure up to how perfect others appear to be. Let that go right now!
Don’t think you have any great qualities or strengths. Think again Think again

Photo by Ernest Brillo on Unsplash

>>> FREE ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEEN GIRLS: The Wellness hub <<<

A private online community for teen girls only, with access to wellness resources such as audio clips & blogs:

Wellness Hub Waiting List

There are many people like me, dedicated and equally curious about who you are and who can’t wait to see how you will shape the world around you by virtue of being you. Have those people in your court! Get your name down for our soon to be online wellness hub community HERE.

Over the next couple months, we at Pyramid Psychology are focusing on all things connected to what makes you unique. Uncovering your strengths, values, skills and stepping into your spotlight. And knowing there’s a group of caring, sincere, adults that are cheering you on every step of the way.

Can’t wait to meet you!

Love,

Chantal

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

28 Nov

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

4 Easy Meditation Tips for Teens

November 29, 2022
By admin

4 Easy Meditation Tips for Teens

Meditation is a powerful tool that you can use throughout your self-acceptance journey as a teen. There are many scientific studies showing the benefits of meditation in generating positive feelings toward yourself and others, promoting emotional health, enhancing self-awareness, and much more!

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Photo by Motoki Tonn on Unsplash.

It is natural for your feelings of self-acceptance to fluctuate over the course of your life, especially as you work through the teen years. You are continually evolving and growing! Remember that self-acceptance is a journey.

The practice of meditation is unique to each individual. One person will not have the same experience as another, so don’t compare yourself to anyone else as you go down this path.

Here are some easy meditation tips to integrate meditation into your life:

Determine if this will be a solo or group practice – it could also be a mix of both. Do you want to do this with a parent, friend, or sibling? Or do you prefer to do this alone?
Test out guided and silent meditation to see what you are drawn towards. Would you like to listen to someone talk to guide the meditation? Would you prefer to listen to calming music? Would you like to sit in silence? Start with one method and modify it as needed. (If you are drawn to exploring with someone, I offer affordable 1:1 therapy for teens in Alberta, Canada HERE).
Consider seeking encouragement from others who are trying similar things. YouTuber Grow With Supreet is on my go-to list! Check out her ‘Meditation’ playlist.
Does meditation integrate into existing avenues in your life such as a spiritual or religious practice? Some people associate meditation with their spiritual beliefs, others approach this practice as scientific in nature, and others are somewhere in between. The wonderful thing about meditation is that it is completely up to you how you define this for yourself!

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Document your journey. If possible, document your meditation journey once a week, even if it is just a few sentences. This shouldn’t be an onerous task. Note

Photo by ‘No Revisions’ on Unsplash

where you are having challenges with self-acceptance and the areas that you are rocking.

Be Kind to Yourself. Be gentle with yourself as you explore your meditation practice. The journey is not intended to aim for perfection. It will most likely be a winding road. Some days it will be easier to engage in the practice and other days it may be a bit more challenging.

On a personal note: In the future, you may even look back at this exploration with warm fuzzies in your heart. I have lovely memories of waking up early and meditating with my father. After meditating we would have a cup of chai and talk about anything that was on our minds. Meditation, paired with quality time with my dad, encouraged self-acceptance. These moments were incredibly special for me and are memories that will be in my heart forever.

Remember, you can choose to do this journey on your own if you’d like. If you would rather do it with someone in a safe, accepting place, I am happy to join you. Book a free consultation with me HERE.

Is your teen having challenges navigating their current circumstances? Do you want your teen to obtain the skills and tools they need to navigate the peaks and valleys that come their way?

Are you looking for someone who can support your teen to step into their spotlight, have great relationships, and find their confidence? I speak teen. My strength is connecting with and relating to teenagers. I strive to provide a balance of learning and laughter during my sessions. Teens need a coach and therapist who they can trust to talk to about the hard stuff in their lives.

I work with teens from a range of life experiences and backgrounds. My specialities include working with teens who identify as BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of colour) and/or LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and more).

I have a Master of Social Work and a Master of Health Administration. I am also a Registered Social Worker. I have worked across the healthcare sector and served on numerous boards of directors for not-for-profit organizations.

21 Nov

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

5 Ways to Help Girls Develop Teen Confidence

November 22, 2022
By admin

You don’t have to feel helpless watching your daughter struggle with teen confidence. I am going to share 5 ways you can help her develop confidence.

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. JOIN THE WAITING LIST: FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents.

This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

Adolescence is often a stage in life that is demanding in itself as teens go through transitions, developments, and relational and behavioural alterations. This period

Photo from Canva Pro

of tremendous change could also be filled with moments or periods of low self-esteem. Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence have one thing in common… the Self in these words and a reference to the relationship we have with ourselves, i.e how one views or feels about themselves….

Parents can help their daughters with teen confidence by building their self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence through some of the following suggestions, tools, and techniques.

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. JOIN THE WAITING LIST: FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents.

This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

5 Ways You Can Help Your Daughter Build Teen Confidence:

Photo by Jonatas Domingos on Unsplash

#1 – Praise the process and not the outcomes… Praising the outcome often comes naturally – you are proud of what your daughter accomplishes! However, I encourage you to also praise the things your daughter has learned, or skills she developed, when working towards a goal or arriving at the outcome (be it good or bad). This allows her to develop a growth mindset as well as promotes teens to be resilient.

#2 Have realistic expectations for your daughter. Sometimes you may be trying to live life through your children. (Your own self-worth often plays a part here). As a result you can end up setting unrealistic standards that result in a lot of pressure and performance to appease parents, rather than being authentic and truly embracing progress over perfection.

#3 Encourage your daughter to engage in positive self-talk and model positive self-talk yourself. Prompt your daughter to note when she is being judgemental, harsh or cruel towards themselves. Reflect on this and also for them to stop… by embracing being human and exercising some self-compassion. My colleague, Jessa Tiemstra, Provisional Psychologist wrote a blog article to help you model confidence for your daughter. Take a read HERE.

#4 Create a gratitude or success trail of paper… As a habit teen girls can engage in by documenting successes, and accomplishments, that they can read to themselves or can serve as reminders of what they have managed to overcome or achieve. Even some of the strengths and skills they developed along the way…. This can be something that can be reviewed in times of distress

Photo by sofatutor on Unsplash

or when their self-esteem is down.

#5 Help your daughter notice and be aware of dynamics that might trigger not-so-good feelings…. Is it a place, people, relationships, or friendships,

that activate low self-esteem or low self-worth…encourage them to develop healthy boundaries in letting the aforementioned (people/ friendships) know they will not tolerate such behaviours or can simply look at stepping away? Help your daughter understand that boundaries are there to take care of them and also are necessary for healthy relationships. Having boundaries in areas where people act in less than respectful ways is okay!

Teen confidence is one of three pillars your daughter needs to be okay now and in the future. The other two are: developing healthy relationships, and learning how to step into their spotlight.

Our online community (launching early 2023) will have a forum specifically for teen girls with resources for them on all three pillars. It will also have a parent forum for you. Join the waiting list here.

Love,

Chipo

Register Social Worker offering counseling for female identifying teens (11-21 years old)

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

14 Nov

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

3 Tips to Model Teen Confidence for Your Daughter

November 14, 2022
By admin

3 Tips to Model Teen Confidence for Your Daughter

If you have an adolescent girl in your life who is struggling with teen confidence, this short-and-sweet blog is for you.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

When it comes to teen confidence, this idea is SO important, especially for teen girls. It can be easy to encourage our loved ones to see their strengths and to be more confident, while in the same breath, thinking or speaking negatively about ourselves. At times, there can be something a little wonky about how we treat ourselves in comparison to the ones we hold dear in this life.

If we are being honest, this can send some mixed messages to teens. This may be all the more true for teenagers, as I often hear parents say something along the lines of “I just wish ‘Suzy’ could see herself how I see her!”. In a nutshell, we can be skilled at genuinely caring about others while picking out our own “shortcomings”. The teenage years are a time of identity and growth and having self-confidence can be especially challenging when you are still figuring out who you are!

When teens receive messages that they should believe they are beautiful, competent, and that effort matters more than outcome … but then see you pointing out your own physical “flaws” or getting down on yourself for making a mistake (or simply just being human) … how does a teen make sense of that? It can be confusing and challenging, and messages from society can make it even harder.

There is no easy fix or one-and-done solution to such a dynamic and complex topic, but I will share 3 tips with you below.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Modelling Teen Confidence Tip #1: Think about what confidence looks like

Photo from Canva Pro

We all receive messages about how confidence may look, but what is confidence really?

Going back to my teen years, I think I may have confused confidence with popularity.

I think I may have confused confidence with extraversion.

I certainly confused confidence with an appearance of not caring what others thought. Who knows what was happening beneath the surface?

I no longer see it that way.

Instead, I tend to see confidence as a dynamic way of being that is multi-layered and multi-faceted. Sometimes confidence is quiet, sometimes it is loud. To me, confidence is a willingness to learn, to grow, and to be wrong. Confidence is standing up for what is right even when it may be hard. It is knowing that your value goes deeper than whatever label may be tossed your way.

Modelling Teen Confidence Tip #2: Be the type of person you hope your daughter becomes

Internet rules for teens are a hot topic amongst parents, particularly as friendships are increasingly going or starting online for teens.

Parents bring up concerns about safety, appropriate messages, and cyberbullying.

Teens, in response, talk about how important the online platforms are for them to stay in contact with their friends or how “uncool” they would be to not be active on certain platforms.

Modelling Teen Confidence Tip #3: Have an honest talk

Photo from Canva Pro

Societal messages are not always kind or helpful, and there are a whole lot of messages out there about who we should or should not be. As a woman, I can certainly say that I have received many subtle and not-so-subtle messages about my worth being linked to my physical appearance.

For some parents, it can be helpful to have an honest talk with their teen that having self-confidence and positive self-talk can genuinely be challenging. Creating some sort of “agreement” to encourage each other and gently challenge unhelpful and untrue thoughts can bring awareness, transparency, and mutual support. This isn’t meant to be a formal contract, but rather, an acknowledgement that having self-confidence is not a challenge that occurs only in the teen years. You can use the 7 qualities teens need for an unbreakable mindset as a starting point, in my colleagues blog article HERE.

This is a complex topic that I have barely scratched the surface of, but I hope these tips give you something to think about. If you have some thoughts, I would love to hear them! You can email our team with questions at info@pyramidpsychology.com.

Or, you can BOOK YOUR FREE CONSULTATION with me to create a personalized plan for you, and set up ongoing support for your daughter.

Love,

Jessa Tiemstra

Provisional Psychologist servicing teen girls and young adults.

Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

07 Nov

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

7 Qualities to Create An Unbreakable Teen Mindset

November 7, 2022
By admin

7 Qualities to Create An Unbreakable Teen Mindset

As a teen life coach, I almost always hear from parents of teen girls how they want their daughters to have the tools to be happy. You want your teens to be able to handle challenging experiences and be OK now and as they grow into adulthood. Creating an unbreakable teen mindset from within is the best tool you have to guide your daughter to happiness.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

Do you ever worry that stress, overwhelm, or just life in general are too much for your daughter some days?

I’ve noticed the teens who work with our team who see the biggest difference in their lives; the ones who tell us they are happier and healthier, are the ones who have been able to master what we call an Unbreakable Teen Mindset. One of the three essential pillars that we teach teens is how to use their mind, thoughts, and attitudes to help them live their best lives.

If your teen daughter is struggling to find happiness because of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm, let me tell you what building an Unbreakable Teen Mindset is and what it can do for her.

An Unbreakable Mindset is not about getting right all the time. It is not about perfection (is there such a thing?!). It is not about always being happy.

An Unbreakable Teen Mindset is about building up the following qualities:

Confidence in trying and doing things even if it may not work out the way you hoped.
Photo from Canva Pro
Flexibility in knowing there isn’t only one way.
Growth in seeing where you were, where you are, and where you are heading.
Perspective in being able to take a step back and consider things in different ways.
Grit in preserving when the going gets tough.
Insight in always learning more about yourself, your relationships, and the world.
The power to pivot when something or some way of thinking is just not working.

Photo from Canva Pro

By building up each of these qualities (and no it doesn’t all have to happen at once), your daughter is growing an Unbreakable Teen Mindset; A way of thinking that will help her not only survive the ups and downs of being a teen, but to live a happier and healthier life that goes well beyond her teenage years.

Join our community of adolescent girl identifying teens (age 11-21) to learn more about how to help your teen gain the tools to be unbreakable by downloading our free Anxiety and Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls here:

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Love,

Chantal

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

31 Oct

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

3 Ways to Improve the Quality of Teen Relationships

October 30, 2022
By admin

3 Ways to Improve the Quality of Teen Relationships

Support circles are only as strong as the quality of your teen relationships. Learn how to improve the quality of your relationships in this article.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

3 Reasons Why the Quality of Our Relationships Matter

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

You can lean on the right people for the type of support that you need.

Support comes in many forms. Can you identify who you might go to when you need the following type of support?

Emotional support
Tangible support
Informational support
Affirmational support

When you have deeper relationships with others, you learn more about yourself. These are relationships where you obtain support, encouragement, and constructive feedback on your growing edges in a way that helps you feel uplifted and supported. Each relationship will provide you with something unique and different.

You are four times more likely to feel good about yourself and life when you feel close to people.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

3 Ways to Increase the Quality of Our Relationships

#1 Time and Effort – Be consistent in your efforts to connect with those who you care about and that care about you.

#2 Be Present – Keep the cell phone away from you. Rather than placing the cell phone on the table, for example, keep it in a backpack or bag. This signifies to the

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

other person that you are attentive to them and will not get distracted by a social media notification, phone call, or text message. Don’t underestimate the power of being attentive!

#3 Express Appreciation – Sincere statements such as “thank you”, “I appreciate your insight”, and “You are important to me”, go a long way to strengthening our connections with others. When people hear a sincere statement of appreciation, this invites them to open their hearts and minds. If you are not used to expressing yourself in this way, practice in front of the mirror or when you are alone in your room. It might feel funny at first! Give it a try and see what happens.

These are three ways you can begin to improve your relationships, which is part of being a good friend. To dive further into improving relationships (specifically friendships) you can read my colleague’s blog article: ‘How To Be A Good Friend‘.

If you are looking for unbiased support to learn social skills, gain confidence in your relationships, and be a great friend, I would be honoured to be part of your support circle. I offer affordable therapy ($40 per session) in Calgary, Alberta (online appointments available to Alberta residents). If you’re ready to create a solid foundation for your relationships, book a free consultation here:

Book Your Free Consultation

Let me know how your journey is going and if you have any questions!

Fazilah Shariff MSW, MHA, RSW

Is your teen having challenges navigating their current circumstances? Do you want your teen to obtain the skills and tools they need to navigate the peaks and valleys that come their way?

Are you looking for someone who can support your teen to step into their spotlight, have great relationships, and find their confidence? I speak teen. My strength is connecting with and relating to teenagers. I strive to provide a balance of learning and laughter during my sessions. Teens need a coach and therapist who they can trust to talk to about the hard stuff in their lives.

I work with teens from a range of life experiences and backgrounds. My specialities include working with teens who identify as BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of colour) and/or LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and more).

I have a Master of Social Work and a Master of Health Administration. I am also a Registered Social Worker. I have worked across the healthcare sector and served on numerous boards of directors for not-for-profit organizations.

24 Oct

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

5 Ways for Parents to Boost Teen Confidence

October 25, 2022
By admin

I want to share a personal story of teen confidence. And then from the heart of my teenage self, I have a list of 5 ways I wish adults had instilled confidence in my life.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Here we go…

From the time I was 12 years old until I was in my early twenties, I struggled with my own self confidence and self esteem. I can remember my parents enrolling me in summer day camps with names like “Girl Power” to help me learn strategies on how to increase my feelings of self worth.

I had babysitters that would often show me magazines with photos of lots of beautiful celebrities and sometimes we would watch music videos. I put the pictures

Photo by Charisse Kenion on Unsplash

from the magazines on my walls, like most girls my age did. We didn’t have social media back then but I still compared myself to the images of perfectionism that I saw.

Throughout my teenage years, I became obsessed with fashion. I always had to stand out from the other kids in school, to have the newest styles. In a way I was expressing my creativity, because I’ve always loved art and beauty. I also liked experimenting and trying out different identities. But in another way, I had become materialistic and placed a lot of pressure on myself to look a certain way and to be praised and approved by others. I wasn’t accepting my true self- I was often changing things about my appearance in order to make others notice me.

It also wasn’t only my physical appearance, I struggled with accepting my own personality as well. I have always been shy and introverted, which has been difficult in such an extroverted world. I did not feel like I fit in. I felt a huge pressure by society to act more outgoing and social and another huge pressure to fit into the stereotypical ideal of beauty by wearing fashionable clothes and using makeup. The behavior of the women in my life also influenced me, when I saw them not leaving their house without makeup on.

With all this being said, I wish I had known some strategies to change my inner voice which was constantly telling me I wasn’t good enough as I was. For parents of female identifying teens, here are five tips you can use to help your daughter’s confidence grow:

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

Photo from Canva Pro

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

5 Ways Parents Can Boost Teen Confidence

Teen Confidence Tip #1 – Encourage your daughter to try new things and take risks.

Parents want the best for their children, and to keep them safe. However, by giving your daughter some freedom, she is able to take risks that will build confidence. If she wins, you can praise her and if she fails, you can commend her for being so brave. Ultimately, my confidence skyrocketed in my mid twenties when I decided to stop listening to others, and to travel solo after a breakup.

Teen Confidence Tip #2 – Encourage your daughter to stop caring what other people think (and discourage people-pleasing behaviours)

This one’s really a game changer for me because I’ve always had people-pleasing tendencies. I realized that by listening to what others think I should do in my life, I was really allowing them to control me– which in turn inhibited my freedom and true happiness because I was not being true to myself or following my intuition. The reality is, there will always be people that like you and people that don’t, no matter what– and that’s okay.

Teen Confidence Tip #3 – Praise your daughter for qualities other than her appearance

I can speak a lot about this one from experience. I became addicted to receiving compliments about my appearance and it seemed like more and more I was trying to chase perfection so that I could be deemed as valuable and needed by others. Of course it’s great to give compliments on appearance but it should not be the only thing she is receiving compliments on. Instead, make a conscious effort to focus on the things she is doing for the world.

Teen Confidence Tip #4 – Be careful about the media she is consuming.

Be conscious of the magazines around the house and the types of TV shows that you have on. After 15 minutes of looking at a fashion magazine, their mood is shown to shift from enthusiasm to comparing and negative self talk. I am sure the same goes for social media, so encourage her to limit her time spent on it. Help her realize that social media is not reality, and neither are the photoshopped magazines.

Teen Confidence Tip #5 – Notice the type of behaviour you are modeling.

Avoid making any sort of negative self-talk, putting down your own appearance or making it mandatory that you must wear makeup before you go out. Avoid saying insulting things about your own personality. Instead teach self acceptance, and how she doesn’t need material things to make her more beautiful. For fathers, don’t treat her as though she is helpless and should rely on a man to do things for her. She is capable of doing stereotypically “masculine” activities, like mowing the lawn

or yard work.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Together, by taking the time to reflect on this topic we can shift society’s expectations. We can stop looking outward for our inner happiness. By loving ourselves first, we can become more compassionate, empathetic and generous towards others. In my mid-twenties, I relearned what society taught me and began to think in a new light.

If you found this article helpful, you can continue the work with our blog article ‘3 Ways to Help Your Teen Stop Perfectionist Thinking‘.

Love,
Kari