ImaginationInspirationPerspective
Star-Spangled Perspective
As a psychologist and teen life coach, I have some of the best conversations with teens every day! They are sometimes raw and full of emotion. They are witty and contradictory and they are also some of the most hilarious conversations I have ever had
I wish I could record every one of my sessions to disperse the insights, reflections, and Ah-ha wisdom that comes from these conversations. Other than that being HIGHLY unethical lol, there is something pretty sacred that happens in the space when a teen is able to be vulnerable. They share their truth with someone they feel will not judge or jump to solve what’s going on for them.
What do star spangled glasses have to do with clean rooms and better grades?
Let me tell you a story about the power of perspective.
Once upon a time, there was a young girl whose grandmother had asked her to clean up her art supplies.
This young girl was so creative and loved to paint.
She painted faces and landscapes non-stop. She painted using acrylics and watercolors. And when she painted, she lost track of time and her surroundings (a few spilt paint bottles and water later). She loved to paint so much that most of her clothes had little bits of Startling Orange, Snugglepuss Purple, and Hazy Blue clinging to the fabric wash after wash.
This young girl felt at peace when she painted and couldn’t wait for another moment to cover a canvas with her creations.
Her grandmother had been looking after her ever since her mom died two years before. She loved her granddaughter so much and saw much of her own daughter when she looked at her.
But she had not had a teenager in her home in a long time and the loud daily chat with friends, dirty dishes and cosmetology bar where there was once a bathroom, were a challenge at times.
Requests to clean up were often met with “I will” only to ask again in an hour or the next day.
This sunny afternoon, grandma had guests coming to visit and there was no question about having canvasses and paint all over the dining room table. After having asked for the third time, she sternly said, “either you clean up now or all of your paint supplies will be going into the trash”. This angered the young girl, who stormed off to her room.
After a few moments, grandma decided to give it another try, maybe explaining why it was important for it to be done now would help. As she walked down the hall towards the girl’s bedroom, she passed a box of her daughter’s things as she did many times each day. But this day, a little glimmer caught her eye. She bent down to see what was shining underneath the college degree certificate to find a bedazzled pair of star spangled sunglasses with tinted blue shades.
She remembered buying these for her daughter during a trip to Montana when she was just a little younger than her granddaughter was now. She smiled at the memory. It softened her heart. She clung to the glasses as the bedroom door opened. A stormy teenager emerged “I’m going to clean it now” she muttered as she passed her grandmother.
As the teen stood by the dining room table about to pick up the first canvas, grandma slid the glasses across the table and said “wear these to clean”. The young girl grimaced at the ridiculous shades in front of her and popped there on her face almost to say “There! Are you happy?”.
Standing off in a moment of silence, the two broke out into laughter. The words barely came rolling out- “You’ll be able to …. clean…. so … much better this way!”. …. “I ….look….great…. don’t….I?”
The art supplies were cleaned and the inside joke birthed. Any time the young girl faced a boring task or lacked motivation, the invitation to put on the special lenses was suggested and the mere thought of it made her smile and brought a little play to the mundane.
It’s all a matter of perspective.
Inspired by some special teens in my world.
With gratitude, Chantal
Chantal Côté
Registered Psychologist & Teen Coach
Hi! My name is Chantal. I am a registered psychologist and teen coach working with teen girls around the globe (and their parents) to help them build Unbreakable Mindsets.
I look at mental wellness as part of a Whole System. “After food comes mood” and “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with” are sayings that make a lot of sense to me. Therefore, when I work with teens, I collaborate with them to get a clear picture of how their lifestyle, experiences, and biological makeup influence how they feel every day. I also believe it is so important to mine for their strengths and resources. Bringing those to life for teen girls, results in them becoming their most resilient and confident selves.
I help teen girls who are struggling with their confidence, feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or shut down a lot of the time, and want things to be different. Most certainly the struggle is affecting their self-image, their relationships, and so importantly their mental wellness.
Want to book a free consultation, click here.
