athlete supportFeelingsHealthinjury recoveryMindsetPerspectivePsychology
When Self-Blame Sets In: Understanding the Inner Critic During Recovery
If you’re a teen girl athlete navigating recovery whether from injury, performance anxiety, or an eating disorder, there’s a part of the story that doesn’t always get named:
Self-blame.
Sometimes showing up as an answer for so many questions and unknowns in the rehab process. It can seem so logical, so obvious and give you a sense of control when everything else is feeling out of control. Then it grabs hold and becomes a louder presence. Suddenly, you might feel like self-blame is the only voice in the room.
What does self-blame look like?
You know that deep seated belief that this is somehow my fault? It’s the internal narrative that tries to make sense of the pain, uncertainty, and loss by pointing the finger inward.
You might recognize it as:
I should have said something sooner.
What if I didn’t push so hard, this wouldn’t have happened.
Because I did/didn’t, I caused this.
It’s what I deserve.
For many athletes, especially those who are driven, disciplined, and used to being in control, self-blame can almost feel like an automatic way to understand why this happened.
Why Does It Show Up So Strongly in Recovery?
Recovery is full of unknowns.
With the waiting.
Uncertainty.
Loss of routine, identity, and a sense of control.
When our brains don’t have clear answers, they create them. You might find yourself asking:
Why did this happen?
Who’s responsible?
And oftentimes the answer becomes: Me.
Self-blame is a protective strategy of the mind. It’s your brain’s way of trying to say, “If I can understand this… maybe I can prevent it from happening again.” It creates an illusion of control in a situation that feels wildly out of control.
The Spiral of the Self-Blame “What Ifs”
Once self-blame starts, it rarely stays small.
It grows into a loop:
What if I had rested earlier?
What if I told someone?
What if I didn’t ignore the signs?
And the more you replay the past, the more convincing the blame becomes. It’s distorted and unfair because you’re judging a past-version-of-you with knowledge you only have now. That’s not fair. And it’s not accurate. Self-blame doesn’t just stay in your thoughts, it moves into your body and emotions.
It can feel like:
Heavy sadness
Anger
Shame or embarrassment
Hopelessness
A deep sense of “I’m not good enough”
And when you’re already navigating all the things related to recovery and your identity as an athlete feels shaky or even stripped away, those emotions hit even harder. It can make it difficult to stay hopeful and keep motivated to believe things will get better. Many teen girl athletes experience this.
One young athlete shared:
“The only way I could answer what happened was by blaming myself.”
If this resonates with you, know this: There is nothing wrong with you for thinking this way. Your brain is trying to cope and make sense of all that is happening. Also just because a thought shows up… doesn’t mean it’s true. And it definitely doesn’t mean it’s helpful.
Observing Without Getting Hooked
At first the self-blame thoughts can seem to make so much sense. They explain everything, they give you something to anchor onto. And because of that, you might be tempted to just accept it as a fact, total truth. But instead of believing these thoughts fully or trying to fight them off, there’s another way that can really help. Bringing the observing noticer part of you to the thought.
You simply notice the thought.
Without judgment.
Notice when the thought shows up. Understand that in some wild way, your brain thinks its protecting you by offering this thought. You might even thank it (not required though!).
It can look like:
“I’m noticing that I’m really blaming myself right now.”
“I’m having the thought that this is my fault.”
This small shift creates a little space. A little space between thinking and believing, between thinking and truth.
And in that space, you can start to ask:
“Is this thought actually supporting me?”
Not:
Is this thought right or wrong, good or bad.
But More:
Is it helping me move towards recovery? Is it supporting me, my well-being, my mental health?
From One Female Athlete to Another
One athlete, nearing the end of her recovery, reflected on her journey:
The self-blame didn’t stop overnight. But over time, it turned into patience.
Patience with her body.
Patience with the process.
Patience with herself.
And that patience allowed her to believe that things could improve. And gave her hope that that healing was possible. She began to realize that her identity wasn’t just lost and gone, it was rebuilding.
Recovery can feel like losing a part of yourself. When self-blame is overwhelming, finding your way through can be so difficult.
Reconstructing your identity can begin with a redirection of your energy through:
Journaling your thoughts without filtering
Movement that works right now (walking, stretching, working out when appropriate)
Creative outlets like drawing or music
Talking to someone you trust
Connecting with a therapist or coach
Spending time in nature
Staying connected to small parts of your life outside of sport
These anchors are not quick fixes, but over time can start to rebuild your identity
Not as someone who is “less than”…
But into someone:
Stronger
More self-aware
More resilient
More compassionate
The version of you that emerges may not look exactly like the one before. But that doesn’t mean it’s worse. It might be deeper, richer, and more grounded.
This Is Not the End of Your Story
One of the most powerful realizations from an athlete in recovery was this:
“This isn’t the end of my journey.”
Even when it feels dark.
Endless.
And when self-blame is loud.
There is more ahead. Yes, injury and struggle can take pieces of your past identity. But it can also build something new. Something you couldn’t have imagined before.
Let’s Keep Walking Together
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