Language is powerful. The words we use with our teens can shape their self-esteem, influence
their decisions, and either strengthen or strain our relationships with them. As a parent, the way
you use language to communicate with teens matters more than you might realize.
their decisions, and either strengthen or strain our relationships with them. As a parent, the way
you use language to communicate with teens matters more than you might realize.
1. Words Have Impact
Imagine telling your teen, “You are getting fat.” While you might intend to motivate them to be
healthier, these words can damage their self-esteem and lead to long-term issues with body
image. Instead, try using the language, “Let’s focus on being healthy together.” This shifts the communication
to positive action without shaming.
2. Listening Over Lecturing
Teens often feel misunderstood, which can lead to shutting down or acting out. Instead of
lecturing, try active listening. When your teen communicates something, listen fully before responding.
This simple act shows that you value their thoughts and feelings, making them more likely to
open up in the future.
3. Validate Their Feelings
If your teen says, “I hate school,” the natural response might be to dismiss it with, “You have to
go; it’s important.” But validating their feelings and changing the language—“I hear that you’re frustrated; let’s talk about what’s bothering you”—can open up a productive dialogue and help you understand what they’re truly experiencing.
4. Stay Calm During Conflict
During arguments, it’s easy to let emotions take over and say things we don’t mean. Instead, try
taking a deep breath and responding calmly. For example, if your teen says, “You never
understand me,” instead of reacting defensively, you might respond with, “I want to understand;
let’s figure this out together.”
Why This Matters
Positive communication builds trust, promotes emotional well-being, and strengthens your
relationship with your teen. It’s not just about avoiding negative language but actively choosing
words that encourage, support, and uplift.
A Personal Note
As a mental health therapist with a Master’s in Social Work (clinical specialization), I’ve seen
how the right words can make all the difference in a parent-teen relationship. If you’re struggling
to connect with your teen, I’m here to help.
Taking New Clients
If you’re ready to improve the way you use language to communicate and strengthen your relationship with your teen, I’m currently accepting new clients. Let’s work together to create a more open and supportive family dynamic.
Chipo Bvindi
To book a session with Chipo please click here:
