27 Feb

Emotions, For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

Teen Trauma and The Importance of Community

February 28, 2023
By admin

Teen Trauma and The Importance of Community

Community is a very important part of healing through teen trauma. Here is my own story of trauma and community.

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

No man is an Island…. Ever heard of that saying? I have a couple of times…. And as a result of my own pain, suffering, trauma, and fear of being hurt I mastered the art of avoiding sharing my personal struggles with others.

Yep. I ensured I looked like “I had it together”.

This was not your typical act or performance. Rather, it was embroiled in my veins….

The message to myself was this:

‘Be the emotional toolbox for every other human being, don’t be vulnerable. It’s for the weak. And if you are vulnerable, what if you get hurt

Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash

again?”

This is a negotiation I ensured I made, proactively. And yet at the end of the day, I resented people for always coming to me with their struggles, even though this is what I wanted.

I had a savior mentality that made me feel safe… I could save others, such that my own personal struggles had somewhere to lean on for support. By attending to other people’s needs, I DIDN’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH MY OWN… My own struggles with the fear of abandonment…

Not only was this a maladaptive behavior, but it was killing me softly… as I held my own trauma within my body, faking it till I made it.

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

Until one day my therapist was like “what if you did try and test the waters… you don’t have to open up your whole being to everyone… you could share just bits of pieces and see how that goes… and maybe it might be time to renegotiate what your relationships should be like moving forward.”

Photo by Kulli Kittus on Unsplash

You see, the thing is avoidance does not help at all. It keeps you stuck with rigidity and in the past… and it escalates situations as avoidance allows us to delay things that can later on become bigger problems.

I realized I cannot do life on my own, and neither am I an island. Avoiding being hurt will not prevent me from being hurt anyways, I can learn. Plus avoiding relationships in which there is reciprocity and vulnerability prevents me from healing… as being on island is isolating and lonely…. No one knows what you are going through except you.

And usually, when you are alone that’s often the time your mind plays with you. “Yeah bet” let’s overthink and it becomes a vicious cycle… where you cannot generate an extvernal perspective on situations affecting you.

Avoiding relationships will not help you grow, rather we can make a conscious decision of being able to choose relationships that are healthy for us and meet our needs and speak to our values.

I also realized, that not everyone is out to get me, and when I do share and do not get the response or desired outcome, that is a learning for me. Not everyone has the capacity to help or respond empathetically and that’s okay.

From there you can choose how to proceed.

As I started to open up more and just be my authentic self… I felt lighter in my body, in my mind. I realized what I was missing, a sense of

Photo by Vonecia Carswell

community, and a sense of belonging. That a problem shared, is a problem half solved.

Nothing is greater than being listened to, and being supported in the best way possible. Community care and social support is important, trust me. Nothing sucks more than doing life alone and for the record loneliness and isolation have been researched to lead to an increased

risk of premature mortality.

Get out there and find your tribe.

You will never regret it.

Avoiding relationships will not help you know who is healthy for you… you can learn to choose people who are healthy for you.

Building walls will not help you accomplish that.

Healthy relationships are only possible if you open yourself up to the process and responsibility it takes to trust in your community.

Love,

Chipo Bvindi

Registered Social Worker offering counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old)

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada. Free consultation here.

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Teen Mental Health Handbook Cover

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

21 Feb

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

7 Wise Friendship Must’s for Teen Girls

February 22, 2023
By admin

7 Wise Friendship Must’s for Teen Girls

This blog post is for teens who may be struggling to know what a “wise” friendship looks like. I have put together a few ideas below, but we would love to hear your ideas as well!

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

I think it is safe to say most of us have heard the adage, “choose your friends wisely”. What exactly that means, however, is talked about less frequently.

Photo by Gemma Chua-Tran on Unsplash

Choose your friendships wisely… what it DOESN’T mean:

My friend will never make mistakes.

Everyone makes mistakes at some point, and a friend is no different. Being able to forgive, both ourselves and others, is an important part of healthy communication and friendship.

My friend and I must have the same interests.

Having interests in common with a friend can be a wonderful thing! That doesn’t mean, however, that you must share a lot of the same interests in order to be friends. Sometimes we can learn the most from people who have different values or interests than us.

My friend and I will share everything with each other.

There is a greater degree of openness and vulnerability with good friends, but this does not mean we need to share everything with each other. Finding healthy boundaries about what to share, how much to share, and when, is a key part of making wise friendships.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Choose your friendships wisely… what it DOES mean:

My friend and I will support each other.

In a healthy friendship, there will be mutual support. This does not mean the support is available 24/7 or that it will always be delivered in your ideal way (different love languages, anyone?), but a good friend will want to listen, understand, and support you in what you may be going through.

My friend and I are allowed to have boundaries.

Everyone is different and will have different boundaries based on factors like interests, values, activities, time, energy, topics of conversation, and needs. Understanding that a good friend may have different boundaries than you is a sign of a healthy friendship.

Photo by Katy Anne on Unsplash

My friend and I have mutual respect and honesty.

In the context of people being human, making mistakes, and being so different, a sign of a healthy friendship is being honest with each other and respecting differences. This means both respecting our friends, but also respecting ourselves. A friendship is unlikely to always be 50/50, but it should also not always be one-sided.

My friend and I have a dynamic friendship.

What I mean by this is that a healthy friendship will have moments of fun, deeper conversation, adventure, support, learning, casual times, and more. If you notice that your friend is always talking about really hard, difficult things, or that maybe you never talk about anything more personal, it may be time to switch it up a bit!

These are just a few ideas about what a wise friendship may or may not look like, but there are many more! If you have any ideas you would like to share, send us a note on Instagram or even e-mail at jessa@pyramidpsychology.com.

Choose those friends wisely 😊

Love,

Jessa

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

13 Feb

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

The #1 Tool to Improve Communication With Your Teen Daughter

February 14, 2023
By admin

The #1 Tool to Improve Communication With Your Teen Daughter

Parenting a teen right now? I probably don’t need to tell you that sometimes having a flowing conversation feels impossible.

Whether you feel like you’re walking on eggshells not to upset things or pulling teeth to get more than one word answers, communicating with your teen daughter can seem like a fine art.

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE WAITING LIST <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents. This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

Photo from Canva Pro

When it comes to parent-teen communication, I most often hear from teen girls things like “my mom just doesn’t understand” or “my parents don’t really listen to what I have to say”.

And from the parents of my teen clients, I hear things like “I’ve offered her so many ideas to try, but she just doesn’t seem to want to try anything” or “Anytime I say anything, it’s the wrong thing it seems”.

Sound familiar? Both of these perspectives are valid.

There are some common communication enablers and blockers that are at play here. With a little bit of tweaking, a bridge can be built leaving your conversations with your daughter more satisfying, less defensive, and drawing the two of you closer together.

The L.E.T it be technique is a must to improve any teen-parent interactions. L stands for Listen first. E is for empathize, and T is for Talk last. If you focus solely on this communication strategy for the next couple of weeks, you will see your interactions with your teen daughter transform.

Let me walk you through each of the steps.

Improving Communication with Your Teen Daughter Step #1: L – Listen First

If you’ve ever been in a serious conversation with someone else or on the other end of a boring University lecture, you might know that the art of listening can be far harder than it seems. Listening first is the golden rule to making communication easier and more effective with your teen daughter.

Here is an article that takes a deep dive into active listening skills and some great example scenarios: What Is Active Listening

I’ve put together a checklist with some highlights from the article. Keep this handy to go through (mentally or physically) to ensure you are listening first.

Have I eliminated all or most distractions (e.g. physical distractions such as a phone, mental distractions like feeling rushed or having lots on my mind)?
Am I listening to what she is saying instead of preparing how I’m going to respond?
Am I showing interested body language (e.g. some level of eye contact, arms uncrossed, attentive nodding, etc.)?
Am I coming from a place of unconditional love and acceptance (not the same as agreeing)?
Am I staying as objective as possible, knowing that my teens feelings are hers, temporary, and separate from mine?

Photo from Canva Pro

If you start by listening first….

…. Even if you think you know where the conversation is headed

…Even though you might have some great advice to give

…Even though you might not agree with what she saying,

The conversations will be far easier and much more pleasant.

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE WAITING LIST <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents. This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

Improving Communication with Your Teen Daughter Step #2: E – Empathize next

(A.k.a. try putting yourself in her shoes). Sometimes parents skip this step altogether. They worry about the reaction or shutting down the

Photo from Canva Pro

conversation if they say the wrong thing.

Empathy is a skill. The more it is practiced, the easier it gets. And it is the part of the L.E.T it be technique that most impacts whether or not your daughter feels understood and trusts that you can be someone she can open up to.

Empathy is about expressing through verbal and nonverbal behaviours that you can understand how she might feel under that circumstance.Check this video out from Brené Brown on empathy.

Here are a few ideas of empathetic responses:

“What you’re saying makes total sense”
“You must feel so frustrated about that”
“You’re in a tough spot here”
“I imagine that’s been pretty hard”
“I wish you didn’t have to go through this”
Offering a hug, a hand on theirs, a kind smile, a gentle tone, compassion in your eyes, relaxed face, etc.

If none of these seem terribly natural to you, that’s completely fine. It’s OK to start small with empathy. But even if it doesn’t seem like things you would EVER say or do, I’m going to encourage you to try showing some empathy and keep an open mind.

Improving Communication with Your Teen Daughter Step #3: T – Talk Last.

You may be wise. In fact you probably have great ideas based on your own lived experience. More often than not, once you have done the L and the E, your daughter will be well on her way to resolve the issue. I’m going to say this again because it’s SO important. Most of the time, after you have truly listened and offered empathy, your daughter KNOWS what to do to handle the situation.

Ideas, words of wisdom, encouragement, anecdotes and helpful questions have a place. Use sparingly. I encourage parents to come from a place of curiosity and collaboration when offering any of the above.

I like asking permission before offering something. It opens up her receptivity.

“Can I share an idea with you?”

“I’m curious about what you were saying, can I ask you a couple questions?”

Of course there may be times when you need to be more straightforward with your input, but unless your daughter or someone else’s safety is at risk, those times are seldom.

Try using the L.E.T it be technique this week and see how things go.

If you want to know more about improving your relationship with teenage daughter, here is a blog article on ways teens can strengthen all of their relationships: 3 Ways to Improve the Quality of Teen Relationships.

Photo from Canva Pro

Lastly, join our online Wellness Hub Community for free resources, to help you raise teen girls, conversations with other parents, and opportunities to deepen your support for your teen daughter.

Click here to join our online Wellness Hub Community.

I can’t wait to meet you there!

Love,
Chantal

Registered Psychologist and Teen Coach with Pyramid Psychology

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE WAITING LIST <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents. This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

06 Feb

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

7 Steps to Handle Big Teen Emotions

February 7, 2023
By admin

7 Steps to Handle Big Teen Emotions

If you’re a teen looking to manage big emotions, this blog article is for you.

teen emotions

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Is there a big feeling that you have been experiencing recently? Anger? Sadness? Frustration? Loneliness? Guilt?

It’s hard to be a teen. There are so many things going on in your life and sometimes it can feel like no one understands you.

As a teenager, there are many ways to manage these big feelings and sometimes it might feel as though these are taking over your life. If you’re looking for ways to manage some of these big emotions, read on!

7 Steps to Handle Big Emotions

Photo from Canva Pro

It’s time to use your creativity and imagination. Let’s do an exercise together…..

Step 1: Pick one emotion that you have recently been feeling. As an example, I’ll pick sadness.

Step 2: If you had to imagine what sadness looks like, what shape would it be? What colour(s) is sadness? Does sadness look big or small?

Tip: You may be thinking, what is this blogger talking about?! Stay with me and experiment!

Step 3: To the best of your ability, draw sadness on a blank sheet of paper.

Tip: Have you watched the movie Inside Out? Perhaps this will give you some ideas on how to draw the emotion that is currently visiting you.

Here are some examples to spark your creativity:

Sadness:

www.easydrawingguides.com

Anger:

www.nytimes.com

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

It is natural for teen feelings of self-acceptance to fluctuate over the course of your life, especially as you work through the teen years. You are continually evolving and growing! Remember that self-acceptance is a journey.

The practice of meditation is unique to each individual. One person will not have the same experience as another, so don’t compare yourself to anyone else as you go down this path.

Step 4: Now, write the following answer to these questions beside your drawing:

When does sadness grow?
When does sadness shrink?
When does sadness visit less often? More often?
When sadness is around what are you doing?
If sadness was not around, what would you be doing?
When was a time when sadness disappeared? What were you doing before it disappeared? What were you doing after sadness disappeared? What did you do to help sadness leave?

Photo from Canva Pro

Step 5: If you feel comfortable, share the drawing with someone special in your life. Talk to them about the answers to your questions. Perhaps there is an opportunity to ask them these same questions. If you are working with a therapist who works with teens, like the therapists at Pyramid Psychology, ask them to talk to you more about your drawing and the answers to some of the questions above.

My colleague wrote an article to help you decide if teen therapy is a good option for you: 4 Ways To Tell If Teen Therapy Is For You.

Step 6: When sadness comes to visit you again, pull out this drawing or picture it in your mind. Sadness may visit for a while. Pay close attention to when sadness grows and when it shrinks. What did you do before and after?

Step 7: Keep the picture of sadness with you in your backpack or store it safely at home. Take a look at it when sadness appears. Over time, the answers to your questions might evolve – that’s a natural part of dealing with big feelings.v

If you have any questions about teen emotions, shoot me a note and we can connect 🙂 My email address is fazilah@pyramidpsychology.com

If you are an Alberta, Canada resident you can also book a free consultation with me HERE.

Love, Fazilah

Registered Social Worker with Pyramid Psychology

Helping 100,000 Teen Girls Build Unbreakable Mindsets

Teen Mental Health Handbook

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Is your teen having challenges navigating their current circumstances? Do you want your teen to obtain the skills and tools they need to navigate the peaks and valleys that come their way?

Are you looking for someone who can support your teen to step into their spotlight, have great relationships, and find their confidence? I speak teen. My strength is connecting with and relating to teenagers. I strive to provide a balance of learning and laughter during my sessions. Teens need a coach and therapist who they can trust to talk to about the hard stuff in their lives.

I work with teens from a range of life experiences and backgrounds. My specialities include working with teens who identify as BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of colour) and/or LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and more).

I have a Master of Social Work and a Master of Health Administration. I am also a Registered Social Worker. I have worked across the healthcare sector and served on numerous boards of directors for not-for-profit organizations.

26 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation (Only 5 Questions)

January 3, 2023
By admin

Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation (Only 5 Questions)

‘Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation’ is a blog article designed for teen girls like you to ask yourself questions to discover your personal strengths.

As a teen, for me it was really difficult to have a sense of identity and to know my strengths. We are constantly told to be someone else, and not to accept ourselves. With so much peer pressure, societal pressure, and pressure from family it can be a really challenging time. It might help to reflect, ask yourself some questions and

analyse yourself and experiences.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash

Here are 5 things to consider in order to step into your spotlight and discover your spark:

Strengths Question #1:

What is something that energises you and gives you life?

What is something that you get lost in? You could easily spend hours doing it without checking the time. You get into a flow, a vibe- it takes you to a happier place. For me this has always been my artistic pursuits – doing makeup, drawing and painting portraits. I love to see the results of something I helped create and seeing those results gave me a great feeling of excitement and fulfilment, especially when my client was on the same page and really grateful for my work.

Helping people also gives me life, when my work helps to improve the life of someone else – I feel like I have a purpose. But it doesn’t all have to be about work, it could also be something like travelling or laying on the beach in the sun. Maybe you are passionate about nature or climate change.

Teen Strengths Question #2:

What do your friends and family consistently praise you for?

You might think sometimes your family and friends are just being nice, but if you keep hearing the same things over and over again about your strengths and talents there is probably some truth to what they are telling you from their perspective. So, pay attention. Maybe you are the one that everyone goes to for advice, or maybe you are a great listener and your friends always feel heard after being around you.

Some things people have told me about myself are: you have a great sense of humour, you are caring, positive, you have a strong sense of justice, you’re patient, calm

Photo from Canva Pro

, kind, brave, talented at drawing faces, talented at makeup, good language skills. It also helps to say these things to yourself as positive affirmations, you will begin to feel so multi talented and full of purpose.

Teen Strengths Question #3:

Have you tried a myers-briggs personality test?

I didn’t do this until just last year because one of my friends sent me the website link one day. Although I have already figured out a lot about myself, knowing the results from this test really helped me come to a conclusion about where my strengths lie, and it also helped me with self acceptance. It turns out I have the rarest personality type (that’s one thing that makes me unique!).

The personality test will tell you things like what jobs are best suited for your personality, what you are like in a relationship, friendships, and your strengths and weaknesses. Mine confirmed that I am introverted, and my mission in life is to help others. I have a strong sense of justice. I am also creative, I have a sense that I never quite fit in, and that I value a few deep and meaningful connections rather than lots of friends.

They are really fascinating in how accurate they are. The one I took can be found HERE.

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Teen Mental Health Handbook

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————

Teen Strengths Question #4:

What have you been successful at?

It’s easy to look down on ourselves and think we haven’t been successful at anything. But the truth is, there are lots of things we have been good at. Looking back on my teen years, I was always good with the computer and technology. My family got our first computer when I was around 10 years old so as a teenager I was using the computer a lot. I’ve also been good with language and communication. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life when I graduated high school. There were so many options. My highest mark in school was actually in French and Global Geography. Anyone that knows me personally will see how this fits into my life now. 🙂

Specifically for work though, it is really important to know your personality and your strengths to bring more success.

Teen Strengths Question #5:

What are your values?

Photo by Microsoft Word on Unsplash

An easier way to ask this is by thinking about what you admire in other people.

I did not know that I valued spirituality until I met other people that really helped influence that. For me, a lot of my values came from the people I spent the most

time with. Through my first relationship I became really into personal development, and through my second more towards spirituality and mental health. Each day I strive to become more skilled, to continue learning, to be kind and to be of service to others. So, if I had to say one person with aspects that I really value, I would say Oprah. She is making a huge impact on the lives of others by helping to bring about positive change and awareness.

If you are here on earth you have a purpose! So keep shining your light, and don’t be afraid to be your true self. Someone in this world needs something that only you can offer. And if you think that it has already been done, just remember that it hasn’t been done by YOU.

My colleague, Jessa wrote another blog article for you on understanding your spotlight. Take a read HERE.

If you are an Alberta resident, we have several skilled psychologists/social workers that can guide you through discovering who you are, and getting through the crap life throws at you. Book a free consultation HERE.

Love,

Kari

Admin Team Member at Pyramid Psychology (soon to be ‘Unbreakable Teen Me’)

Kari Bonnyman is a personal assistant from Nova Scotia, Canada. She is passionate about mental health and wellness and has first hand experience with strategies that have helped her navigate through the challenges of life. She loves doing breathwork, yoga, journalling, meditation, reading self help books related to mental health, volunteering to help others and focusing on her spiritual journey. When she is not working she can be found doing art, travelling, listening to spiritual/personal development podcasts, at the beach or in nature, and practicing French and Spanish.

Kari Bonnyman, Personal Assistant at Pyramid Psychology

19 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

3 Ways Parents Can Help Teen Girls Find Themselves

January 3, 2023
By admin

3 Ways Parents Can Help Teen Girls Find Themselves

If you’re raising a girl, have you ever wondered what could help teen girls step into their spotlight? AKA a place where they are embracing who they truly are and the ebbs and flow of life… If so, this blog post is for you.

Here are my top 3 suggestions for helping teen girls step into their spotlight (and I will elaborate more below):

Pay attention to them
Support them to develop coping, communication, and social skills
Be a role model with your own spotlight

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

Paying Attention

Trust me, it pays to pay attention to your teen and ensure they feel valued, needed and supported. Pay attention to what they say, what they share with you, their goals and aspirations.

Teen girls have the ability to pick up on being heard and listened to. Sometimes, I have heard teens make remarks such as “oh well that does not matter anyways, mom or dad do not care and they won’t listen to what I have to say anyways”… And I don’t think these statements just come out like that, it’s a result of continued observation of how parents or guardians display paying attention or not. Or even an indication that they don’t care, they are the parent and have authority over their kids.

Photo from Canva Pro

Developing Coping, Communication & Social Skills

You can use your own stories to share skills with teen girls that will help them navigate life’s challenges. Share some of the similar challenges you have experienced as a teen at one point in your life and how you addressed these challenges, whether it was an epic fail or success.

I think at times as parents or guardians we want to always reflect the good in what we do, but what if we shed a spotlight on our failures and shortcomings? This could help teens in developing resilience that life is not always perfect but they can strive for progress over perfection always even if their lives are flipped upside down along their journeys. This helps teen girls learn that failing or rather not getting things right is a part of life. What you do with life falling apart or not going as planned is what matters and could help teens develop skills of diverting control to what’s in their frame of control.

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Teen Mental Health Handbook Cover

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

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Being A Role Model

I know no one is born or comes to planet earth with a manual on how to be a great parent. However, the least you can do is be a positive role model. By the age of 7 most of our patterns of behaviour, our beliefs and our habits are formed. This is very crucial to note in terms of development and behavioural adaptations kids may have and at the earliest this is also influenced by what they see and observe at home.

Are you a parent that shuts down when confronted. Are you a parent who yells and projects anger when in distress? Do you cope with stress by scrolling on social media for a number of hours? Do you rage at other drivers on the road? Are you able to address how you feel, and process your emotions in a healthy way? Are you taking care of your physical health too?

Teen girls are watching and also adapting some of these behaviours into their own lives. You can help them by showing them that you are working through your flaws.

Photo from Canva Pro

This blog article is food for thought and I hope it gives you an opportunity to reflect, develop some self-awareness and also think about the legacy you want to leave behind. Let’s help teen girls step into their spotlight together.

I offer private 1:1 therapy sessions to help teen girls with all of the above. I provide them with someone that is paying attention, a positive role model, and offer them various strategies to cope with life’s challenges.

If you are an Alberta resident, book your free consultation with me here.

Love,

Chipo Bvindi

Registered Social Worker offering counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old)

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

12 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

Understanding Your Spotlight (for Teen Girls)

December 15, 2022
By admin

Understanding Your Spotlight (for Teen Girls)

When we talk about stepping into your spotlight, it can be hard to know what the ‘spotlight’ is. How will you know when you have found your spotlight? Will you feel completely happy and that things are finally “perfect” when you have found it?

>>>FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to improve focus, boost happy hormones, cope with tricky feelings, and develop self-compassion.

I Want the Handbook!

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

You may disagree with me, but I tend to define “stepping into your spotlight” as a dynamic process instead of a specific goal. Your spotlight may change over time and being in your spotlight may never feel 100% happy and fuzzy – it may feel challenging, scary, but at the core it is life-giving and meaningful. Stepping into your spotlight can be making progress towards a dream career, but it can also be all those little choices you make along the way, whether an end goal is in sight or not.

Thinking about my own teen years, I was never one of those people who knew from a young age what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now that I am a little bit older, and hopefully a little wiser, I think that question can be a bit confusing. Instead of thinking about “what” I want to be, I think about “who” I want to be.

Who I want to be applies to right now, in this moment, in addition to my future hopes and dreams. I think about how I can step into my spotlight, or be my most authentic self while pursuing my goals and living according to my values, within my current reality.

>>>FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to improve focus, boost happy hormones, cope with tricky feelings, and develop self-compassion.

I Want the Handbook!

When I was considering what I wanted to be, my thoughts went into endless comparisons. It was impossible to make a “perfect” choice with so many hypotheticals and unknowns. My mind went back and forth between looking for the perfect end goal and determining that the grass is always greener on the other side. I have

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

since left this mindset behind, and have spent more time acknowledging that “the grass is greenest where you water it” (Neil Barringham).

If you already have a spotlight in mind, that is amazing! GO FOR IT!!

But if you’re like me, and you are less sure on what your spotlight looks like, know that you can find it along the way. You can read a little more about my process after high school graduation here: ‘Planning For The Future After High School Graduation’.

I am also available for 1:1 support to sort through the muck of figuring out what and who you want to be. Book your free consultation here.*

Love,

Jessa Tiemstra

Provisional Psychologist servicing teen girls and young adults.

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada

Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

05 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

5 Teen Truths

December 6, 2022
By admin

5 Teen Truths

I have a confession to make!

The other day I was volunteering to build boxes for a local charity that serves those who experience food scarcity. I got paired up with a lovely teen human. The job was pretty straightforward. Fold the box. Tape the box. Label the box. So after building a couple, you kind of get the hang of it.

This meant we had lots of time to talk. The more I listened to my table buddy, hearing about all the things they were interested in and knew about, the more my heart felt full. Then a couple days later, one of my teen client’s was telling me about their passion. She proudly shared some of her art with me. That same full heart feeling

appeared. Once again today as a parent told me how

Photo by Mike Von on Unsplash

their teen faced their fear in doing something they had been procrastinating on for a long time, the centre of my chest lit up like a Christmas Tree.

I’m starting to sense a pattern.

>>> FREE ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEEN GIRLS: The Wellness hub <<<

A private online community for teen girls only, with access to wellness resources such as audio clips & blogs:

Wellness Hub Waiting List

My Confession:

I’m a HUGE admirer of teens. I think of the curiosity, creativity, and sense of rebellion (in a let’s do it differently than the generations before us kind of energy) all bundled into one amazing vessel of potential. And, after talking to hundreds of teen girls, each is incredibly unique. Each one of you has a story to tell, experiences that have shaped you, opinions about the world, things you care about, unique taste in music, sense of fashion, relationships, etc.

I see you. I hear you. I am Inspired.

If you:

Doubt what you have to say matters. You’re not alone
Think that adults won’t pay attention or understand. You’re probably a little bit right
Hesitate because you think others will be disappointed. It’s normal (still don’t let it stop you)
Believe you don’t measure up to how perfect others appear to be. Let that go right now!
Don’t think you have any great qualities or strengths. Think again Think again

Photo by Ernest Brillo on Unsplash

>>> FREE ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEEN GIRLS: The Wellness hub <<<

A private online community for teen girls only, with access to wellness resources such as audio clips & blogs:

Wellness Hub Waiting List

There are many people like me, dedicated and equally curious about who you are and who can’t wait to see how you will shape the world around you by virtue of being you. Have those people in your court! Get your name down for our soon to be online wellness hub community HERE.

Over the next couple months, we at Pyramid Psychology are focusing on all things connected to what makes you unique. Uncovering your strengths, values, skills and stepping into your spotlight. And knowing there’s a group of caring, sincere, adults that are cheering you on every step of the way.

Can’t wait to meet you!

Love,

Chantal

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

28 Nov

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

4 Easy Meditation Tips for Teens

November 29, 2022
By admin

4 Easy Meditation Tips for Teens

Meditation is a powerful tool that you can use throughout your self-acceptance journey as a teen. There are many scientific studies showing the benefits of meditation in generating positive feelings toward yourself and others, promoting emotional health, enhancing self-awareness, and much more!

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Photo by Motoki Tonn on Unsplash.

It is natural for your feelings of self-acceptance to fluctuate over the course of your life, especially as you work through the teen years. You are continually evolving and growing! Remember that self-acceptance is a journey.

The practice of meditation is unique to each individual. One person will not have the same experience as another, so don’t compare yourself to anyone else as you go down this path.

Here are some easy meditation tips to integrate meditation into your life:

Determine if this will be a solo or group practice – it could also be a mix of both. Do you want to do this with a parent, friend, or sibling? Or do you prefer to do this alone?
Test out guided and silent meditation to see what you are drawn towards. Would you like to listen to someone talk to guide the meditation? Would you prefer to listen to calming music? Would you like to sit in silence? Start with one method and modify it as needed. (If you are drawn to exploring with someone, I offer affordable 1:1 therapy for teens in Alberta, Canada HERE).
Consider seeking encouragement from others who are trying similar things. YouTuber Grow With Supreet is on my go-to list! Check out her ‘Meditation’ playlist.
Does meditation integrate into existing avenues in your life such as a spiritual or religious practice? Some people associate meditation with their spiritual beliefs, others approach this practice as scientific in nature, and others are somewhere in between. The wonderful thing about meditation is that it is completely up to you how you define this for yourself!

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Document your journey. If possible, document your meditation journey once a week, even if it is just a few sentences. This shouldn’t be an onerous task. Note

Photo by ‘No Revisions’ on Unsplash

where you are having challenges with self-acceptance and the areas that you are rocking.

Be Kind to Yourself. Be gentle with yourself as you explore your meditation practice. The journey is not intended to aim for perfection. It will most likely be a winding road. Some days it will be easier to engage in the practice and other days it may be a bit more challenging.

On a personal note: In the future, you may even look back at this exploration with warm fuzzies in your heart. I have lovely memories of waking up early and meditating with my father. After meditating we would have a cup of chai and talk about anything that was on our minds. Meditation, paired with quality time with my dad, encouraged self-acceptance. These moments were incredibly special for me and are memories that will be in my heart forever.

Remember, you can choose to do this journey on your own if you’d like. If you would rather do it with someone in a safe, accepting place, I am happy to join you. Book a free consultation with me HERE.

Is your teen having challenges navigating their current circumstances? Do you want your teen to obtain the skills and tools they need to navigate the peaks and valleys that come their way?

Are you looking for someone who can support your teen to step into their spotlight, have great relationships, and find their confidence? I speak teen. My strength is connecting with and relating to teenagers. I strive to provide a balance of learning and laughter during my sessions. Teens need a coach and therapist who they can trust to talk to about the hard stuff in their lives.

I work with teens from a range of life experiences and backgrounds. My specialities include working with teens who identify as BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of colour) and/or LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and more).

I have a Master of Social Work and a Master of Health Administration. I am also a Registered Social Worker. I have worked across the healthcare sector and served on numerous boards of directors for not-for-profit organizations.

21 Nov

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

5 Ways to Help Girls Develop Teen Confidence

November 22, 2022
By admin

You don’t have to feel helpless watching your daughter struggle with teen confidence. I am going to share 5 ways you can help her develop confidence.

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. JOIN THE WAITING LIST: FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents.

This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

Adolescence is often a stage in life that is demanding in itself as teens go through transitions, developments, and relational and behavioural alterations. This period

Photo from Canva Pro

of tremendous change could also be filled with moments or periods of low self-esteem. Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence have one thing in common… the Self in these words and a reference to the relationship we have with ourselves, i.e how one views or feels about themselves….

Parents can help their daughters with teen confidence by building their self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence through some of the following suggestions, tools, and techniques.

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. JOIN THE WAITING LIST: FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents.

This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

5 Ways You Can Help Your Daughter Build Teen Confidence:

Photo by Jonatas Domingos on Unsplash

#1 – Praise the process and not the outcomes… Praising the outcome often comes naturally – you are proud of what your daughter accomplishes! However, I encourage you to also praise the things your daughter has learned, or skills she developed, when working towards a goal or arriving at the outcome (be it good or bad). This allows her to develop a growth mindset as well as promotes teens to be resilient.

#2 Have realistic expectations for your daughter. Sometimes you may be trying to live life through your children. (Your own self-worth often plays a part here). As a result you can end up setting unrealistic standards that result in a lot of pressure and performance to appease parents, rather than being authentic and truly embracing progress over perfection.

#3 Encourage your daughter to engage in positive self-talk and model positive self-talk yourself. Prompt your daughter to note when she is being judgemental, harsh or cruel towards themselves. Reflect on this and also for them to stop… by embracing being human and exercising some self-compassion. My colleague, Jessa Tiemstra, Provisional Psychologist wrote a blog article to help you model confidence for your daughter. Take a read HERE.

#4 Create a gratitude or success trail of paper… As a habit teen girls can engage in by documenting successes, and accomplishments, that they can read to themselves or can serve as reminders of what they have managed to overcome or achieve. Even some of the strengths and skills they developed along the way…. This can be something that can be reviewed in times of distress

Photo by sofatutor on Unsplash

or when their self-esteem is down.

#5 Help your daughter notice and be aware of dynamics that might trigger not-so-good feelings…. Is it a place, people, relationships, or friendships,

that activate low self-esteem or low self-worth…encourage them to develop healthy boundaries in letting the aforementioned (people/ friendships) know they will not tolerate such behaviours or can simply look at stepping away? Help your daughter understand that boundaries are there to take care of them and also are necessary for healthy relationships. Having boundaries in areas where people act in less than respectful ways is okay!

Teen confidence is one of three pillars your daughter needs to be okay now and in the future. The other two are: developing healthy relationships, and learning how to step into their spotlight.

Our online community (launching early 2023) will have a forum specifically for teen girls with resources for them on all three pillars. It will also have a parent forum for you. Join the waiting list here.

Love,

Chipo

Register Social Worker offering counseling for female identifying teens (11-21 years old)

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.