4 Ways To Tell If Teen Therapy Is Right For You

Is teen therapy right for your teen?

Your teen is blowing up and locking themselves in their bathroom for hours. You notice their motivation is at 0%, their mood is really low, and they are either telling you about their problems or keeping a tight lid on the struggle.

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You are concerned about their body image, self-esteem, friendships, anxiety and negative thoughts.

You are noticing behaviours that are freaking you out… 

Know that a lot of this is normal.

However, normal doesn’t mean easy and it doesn’t mean it can’t change.

If you’re in a hurry, you can catch the four factors in deciding if teen therapy is right for your teen, in this short video from our Founder, Psychologist & Teen Coach Chantal Côté here:

 

Here are four ways to tell if teen therapy is right for you:

1. Teen Therapy Factor #1: Current Supports

Take a look at their natural supports. Who does your teen have in their life that they can open up and talk to? That can be you, another relative, a teacher or a coach –

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think of adults in their life that are natural supports they may look up to. Also consider people their age, a group of friends, or a club they may be part of; other teens they can talk to, have fun with, etc.If you’ve checked off a few of the people listed above, that’s a really good thing!

If you’re struggling to think of people your teen can trust and feel safe around, that’s a really good sign that teen therapy would be super beneficial.

Two of our team members here at Pyramid Psychology are currently taking on new clients. Alberta, Canada residents can book a free 20-minute session with Chip Bvindi or Jessa Tiemstra here:

 

Book A Free Consultation

 

2. Teen Therapy Factor #2: Concurrent Stressors

Consider what your teen’s current stressors are. Of course, every teen will have some level of stress all the time! But really take a look at things a little deeper. Are there significant changes happening in your teen’s life right now? Think about things like family life, school, friendships, relationships, gender, identity, sexuality,

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body image, self image in general, etc. Is there something going on in one of these areas that’s adding stress to your teen? Is something making things a little more complicated for them?

If you said ‘yes’ to any of the possible stressors above, this is an indication that teen therapy is a good resource for your teen.

You can book a free consultation with Jessa Tiemstra or Chipo Bvindi here:

Book A Free Consultation

 

3. Teen Therapy Factor #3: How Much The Problem Is Disrupting Daily Functioning

Are the stressors your teen is facing affecting their daily life? Here are three indications that your teen’s daily life is being affected:

  • Your teen struggling to get out of bed in the morning.
  • You hear your teen crying themselves to sleep most nights (or they tell you about it).
  • Your teen is engaging in maladaptive behaviours, like constantly being on their phone or pulling away from reality.

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If these things are happening regularly for your teen, it is an urgent sign that connecting them with someone else (1:1 therapy) is very important.

If, however, your teen is experiencing these things only from time to time, it may be part of regular stress.

If you’re not sure how often “time to time” is, and how often it would be considered an issue, book a free consultation with Chipo Bvindi or Jessa Tiemstra and we will ensure 1:1 therapy is the best option for your teen:

Book A Free Consultation

 

Teen Therapy Factor #4: Current Coping Strategies

Last, but not least, taking a look at your teen’s coping strategies can help determine if they are needing extra support, or if they already have what they need to handle their stressors independently. Does your teen have activities they like to do that fills their time and lifts their mood when they are struggling? Looking at how connected your teen is to community is helpful here too – are they part of a group or organization they can reach out to, that connects them to others, and makes them feel good + safe? Does your teen have things they turn to in times of stress, like movement or art? Think about how connected your teen is to their emotions – can they name their emotions and name what they need to help? Does your teen take action when they are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or depressed? Or

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do they let their emotions drag them down?

If you read the above paragraph and have listed several coping strategies your teen utilizes on a regular basis, they are likely well on their way to independently handling their stressors!

If you noticed your teen could use some more support in this area, it’s a good idea to reach out to one of our therapists. One of the things Jessa Tiemstra and Chipo Bvindi work to do in their sessions, is discovering what coping skills your teen already possesses, and then build on these skills with personalized strategies.

Book A Free Consultation

 

Here is a little information on the therapists we currently have available to support your teen:

Jessa Tiemstra

Hi there! My name is Jessa.

I am a provisional psychologist working with teens, parents, and young adults in Calgary, Alberta. I am passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and am truly honoured to work in this field.

When I am not working, I have a range of interests that keep me busy. I love animals and have a dog and a cat that both like a lot of attention (both tri-coloured and fluffy!) I also enjoy plants, being outside, cooking, baking, crafty activities, going for walks, and video games.

I love spending time with family and friends but am an introvert at heart so quieter nights at home are good too.

I have called Calgary home for most of my life and love living here. Being a provisional psychologist lets me invest back into a place I am proud to call home.

You can book a free 20-minute call to get to know Jessa here:

Book A Free Consultation

Chipo Bvindi

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Hello there!

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

You can book a free 20-minute call to get to know Chipo here:

Book A Free Consultation

 

In Conclusion

In summary, there are several factors to consider when looking at teen therapy as a resource for your stressed out teen. To gauge how important reaching out to a therapist is, look at these four areas:

  1. Current supports
  2. Concurrent stressors
  3. How much the problem(s) is disrupting daily functioning
  4. Current coping strategies

 

Remember, consultations with our team are complimentary. Our primary goal as a team is to be a resource for your teen to discover themselves, build their confidence, and develop strategies that will create independence in the future.

You can get started with your free consultation HERE. We also have a complimentary Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls, which is a PDF with 10 different tools you can immediately begin implementing to help with stress. You can download your copy here:

FREE Anxiety Toolkit

4 Ways to Handle Teen Communication

Earlier this month my colleague here at Pyramid Psychology, shared 3 ways to respond to teen behaviours. (If you missed out on her blog, you can read it here: 3 Ways to Respond to Teen Behaviours). One of the things she reminds us of, is that you can’t read your teen’s mind – no matter how much you wish to! In fact, the teenage years may feel reminiscent of the terrible two’s when toddlers are pushing boundaries and “throwing tantrums.”

 

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Here are four ways to navigate teen communication when challenging behaviours arise:

  1.     Approach the conversation when both parties are calm: Take a deep breath and keep an open mind. Remember: behaviour seeks to meet a need.

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  2.     Listen: Be curious about what’s going on for your teen. Allow them to speak without interruption. If they feel judged, criticized, or that something needs to be fixed, or corrected, defences go up and the conversation may shut down or explode. 
  3.     Validate their feelings: Although instinct is to solve their problem or minimise their concerns in hopes of helping them, use empathetic statements to show you understand, for example, “I’m sorry you’re going through this, “That sounds really tough,” “I can see you’re going through a lot right now, “wow, that sounds difficult.”

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  4.     Communicate boundaries: It’s important that when discussing boundaries, they’re clearly stated and an explanation is provided. The DEARMAN skill can be used to help communicate our needs and boundaries while maintaining a healthy relationship. Here is what the acronym stands for:  

Describe the current situation using the facts. Tell your teen what you’re responding to. 

Express your feelings about the situation. Don’t assume your teen can mind read! 

Assert yourself by asking for what you want. 

Reinforce by explaining the positive effects. Avoid blaming or insulting. 

Mindful to keep the focus on your goals and the present rather than past experiences. 

Appear confident and avoid being confrontational. 

Negotiate. Offer and ask for other solutions to the problem. It’s important to work together to have both individuals’ needs met. 

 

Knowing how to best respond in these tricky situations is incredibly helpful, however, the interactions that take place outside of them are important as well. These interactions offer opportunities to both connect and develop important emotion regulation skills. The Gottman Method proposes the idea of an “emotional piggy bank,” which every person has. When your teen is thanked, affirmed, or given time or affection, a “deposit” is made in their emotional piggy bank. However, a negative interaction like a demand, fight, or nagging, takes place, a “withdrawal is made from their emotional bank. The goal is to have more “deposits” or positive interactions than “withdrawals” or negative interactions/demands. You can learn more about this method on our blog: Emotional Bank Account: Your Relationship with Your Teen.

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Regardless of which tools you choose to use, remember that communication is an ongoing process. You will have good days, and bad days. It is also important to provide your teen with outside resources to communicate with, particularly resources that are not emotionally attached to the outcome. Two of my colleagues are currently accepting new clients for 1:1 therapy. You can meet them here:

Jessa Tiemstra

Hi there! My name is Jessa.

I am a provisional psychologist working with teens, parents, and young adults in Calgary, Alberta. I am passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and am truly honoured to work in this field.

When I am not working, I have a range of interests that keep me busy. I love animals and have a dog and a cat that both like a lot of attention (both tri-coloured and fluffy!) I also enjoy plants, being outside, cooking, baking, crafty activities, going for walks, and video games.

I love spending time with family and friends but am an introvert at heart so quieter nights at home are good too.

I have called Calgary home for most of my life and love living here. Being a provisional psychologist lets me invest back into a place I am proud to call home.

You can book a free 20-minute call to get to know Jessa here:

Book a free 20 min call 

Chipo Bvindi

Photo by Canva

Hello there!

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

You can book a free 20-minute call to get to know Chipo here:

Book a free 20 min call

 


 

Hi there! My name is Ally and I am a MA student therapist working with teens, parents, and young adults in Calgary, Alberta. I am passionate about helping others and one of the greatest honours of my life is being able to listen and hold space for other people’s stories. 

 When I am not working, I enjoy listening to music, spending time with family and friends, hiking, and indoor cycling. I love exploring new places with some of my favourites being Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Spain, Iceland, as well as Vancouver Island. 

 Calgary is home, but I will take any opportunity to travel!

Managing Teen Anxiety: High School Graduation

Managing teen anxiety around high school graduation – what an emotional rollercoaster! I remember the hallways were buzzing with nervous excitement, each day more than the last…

I was looking forward to my high school career coming to an end but this was often overshadowed by anxiety surrounding the unknown. Many of my friends seemed so sure of what they were doing, with some of them planning on moving across the country for school. Although I was excited to gain more independence, I also felt a ton of pressure. Every thought seemed to end with a question mark.

This uncertainty and sense of being out of control caused some pretty overwhelming anxiety. Just as uncertainty can lead to anxiety, anxiety can lead to avoidance, and I was a pro at it! I avoided looking up admission requirements and application deadlines because I was worried I wouldn’t have the grades to get it. Unfortunately, this only caused more anxiety over the thought of missing the deadline and panic when realizing I was giving myself less time to get things sorted and submitted.

 

If you’re a teen (or a parent of a teen) and your high school graduation is coming up, I have created some tips I found useful during my own graduation. These are tips I share with teens in therapy with me as well.

 Teen Graduation Anxiety Tip #1 – Embrace Exploration

Career quizzes are not only fun but informative. They can be a great way for you to hone in on your interests and reveal careers related to them. You could even do them with your friends or family for fun!

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There are a lot of quizzes out there, but if you’d like to take one right NOW here is one to get you started: Your Free Career Test

Teen Graduation Anxiety Tip #2 – Examine Your Values

Values reveal what’s important to you, and can provide direction in your life. Understanding and getting to know your values can be another way to help with decision making; Living in alignment with your values helps you to live a more fulfilling life. If you’re not sure where to start, Values Discussion Cards by Therapist Aid is a hands-on exercise you can try!

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Teen Graduation Anxiety Tip #3 – Steer Clear of Avoidance

While it can be scary to look into admission requirements and submission deadlines, knowing the answers can relieve anxiety and prevent it from snowballing. I found a really great article for you that outlines 30 great questions you can ask to really get to know the schools you are looking into. You can read the article by Foothills College in California HERE.

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Teen Graduation Anxiety Tip #4 – Practice Self-Compassion:

For many teens (and even young adults like myself), thoughts may lead towards the negative, while what you’re saying/doing on the outside is more like an Instagram or TikTok reel – bright, shiny, and ‘perfect’.

I wanted to remind you of this because, even though it might not be discussed out loud, many of your peers are also feeling nervousness surrounding the uncertainty of graduation. They just aren’t saying it.

Sometimes, having a third party person to discuss your thoughts with, and provide known tools for anxiety, can be a really helpful addition to your graduation plans. I am available for 1:1 appointments all across Alberta (online) or in-person in Calgary, Alberta. Your parents will need to be involved in the process – they can book a free consultation with me HERE.

 

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Book A Consultation with Ally

 


 

Hi there! My name is Ally and I am a MA student therapist working with teens, parents, and young adults in Calgary, Alberta. I am passionate about helping others and one of the greatest honours of my life is being able to listen and hold space for other people’s stories. 

 When I am not working, I enjoy listening to music, spending time with family and friends, hiking, and indoor cycling. I love exploring new places with some of my favourites being Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Spain, Iceland, as well as Vancouver Island. 

 Calgary is home, but I will take any opportunity to travel!