As a psychologist and teen life coach, I have some of the best conversations with teens every day! They are sometimes raw and full of emotion. They are witty and contradictory and they are also some of the most hilarious conversations I have ever had, such as how wearing glasses can help teens clean 🙂 

I wish I could record every one of my sessions to disperse the insights, reflections, and Ah-ha wisdom that comes from these conversations. Other than that being HIGHLY unethical lol, there is something pretty sacred that happens in the space when a teen is able to be vulnerable and share their truth with someone they feel will not judge or jump to solve what’s going on for them.

What do star spangled glasses have to do with clean rooms and better grades?

Let me tell you a story about the power of perspective.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety

Once upon a time, there was a young girl whose grandmother had asked her to clean up her art supplies.

This young girl was so creative and loved to paint.

She painted faces and landscapes non-stop. She painted using acrylics and watercolors. And when she painted, she lost track of time and her surroundings (a few spilt paint bottles and water later). She loved to paint so much that most of her clothes had little bits of Startling Orange, Snugglepuss Purple, and Hazy Blue clinging to the fabric wash after wash.  

This young girl felt at peace when she painted and couldn’t wait for another moment to cover a canvas with her creations.

Her grandmother had been looking after her ever since her mom died two years before. She loved her granddaughter so much and saw much of her own daughter when she looked at her.

But she had not had a teenager in her home in a long time and the loud daily chat with friends, dirty dishes and cosmetology bar where there was once a bathroom, were a challenge at times. 

Requests to clean up were often met with “I will” only to ask again in an hour or the next day. 

This sunny afternoon, grandma had guests coming to visit and there was no question about having canvases and paint all over the dining room table. After having asked for the third time, she sternly said, “either you clean up now or all of your paint supplies will be going into the trash”. This angered the young girl, who stormed off to her room. 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety

After a few moments, grandma decided to give it another try, maybe explaining why it was important for it to be done now would help. As she walked down the hall towards the girl’s bedroom, she passed a box of her daughter’s things as she did many times each day. But this day, a little glimmer caught her eye. She bent down to see what was shining underneath the college degree certificate to find a bedazzled pair of star spangled sunglasses with tinted blue shades. Perhaps wearing glasses could help teens clean?..

She remembered buying these for her daughter during a trip to Montana when she was just a little younger than her granddaughter was now. She smiled at the memory. It softened her heart. She clung to the glasses as the bedroom door opened. A stormy teenager emerged “I’m going to clean it now” she muttered as she passed her grandmother. 

As the teen stood by the dining room table about to pick up the first canvas, grandma slid the glasses across the table and said “wear these to clean”. The young girl grimaced at the ridiculous shades in front of her and popped there on her face almost to say “There! Are you happy?”.  

Standing off in a moment of silence, the two broke out into laughter. The words barely came rolling out- “You’ll be able to …. clean…. so … much better this way!”. …. “I ….look….great…. don’t….I?”

The art supplies were cleaned and the inside joke birthed. Any time the young girl faced a boring task or lacked motivation, the invitation to put on the special lenses was suggested and the mere thought of it made her smile and brought a little play to the mundane. 

It’s all a matter of perspective – perhaps wearing glasses could help teens clean.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety

Inspired by some special teens in my world. 

With love, 

Chantal

Chantal is a registered psychologist and teen coach working with teen girls around the globe (and their parents) to help them build Unbreakable Mindsets. She helps teen girls who are struggling with their confidence, are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or shut down a lot of the time, and want things to be different. Most certainly the struggle is affecting their self-image, their relationships, and so importantly their mental wellness. She specializes in:

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
• Expressive Arts Therapy
• Compassion Focused Therapy
• Trauma focused (through the expressive arts, progressive counting, trauma sensitive yoga, and narrative approaches)
• Grief and Loss
• Functional Family Therapy
• Nutrition for Mental Health
• Attachment based parenting
• Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)
• HeartMath

To book with Chantal: BOOK HERE

There is a lot of misconception and confusion out there surrounding life coaching and traditional psychotherapy. Many people are not sure what life coaching even is- they may have never heard of it. Some people think it’s something to do with getting fitness or health expert advice, some think it’s really just therapy in disguise with someone that may not be licensed, and the list goes on. Traditional psychotherapy is certainly a very popular option (and probably the default option) for most people out there. You have a problem, you talk to a therapist who helps you work through the issue, you feel better. But have you considered that there may be something out there that is even more refined to suit your needs and could help you progress further than you had initially thought?

This is where life coaching comes in.

While traditional psychotherapy can certainly be necessary and needed, it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution; and sometimes it can be better to branch off and explore different avenues for healing. The two can certainly be done at the same time, and sometimes coaching actually cannot even commence until psychotherapy has taken place. It depends on the client, and the situation. A good example of a client who may require both a therapist and a coach could be: a teen that may have gone through a traumatic event, now suffers from many symptoms of PTSD, and her sense of self worth and confidence is so low that she does not feel motivated anymore- but her goal was to be able to speak publicly in front of a large audience.

Therapy can be much more beneficial in treating mental health conditions (including depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc) and focusing on working through that to help bring clients to a healthy and functioning level.

Coaching can be thought of as an action-oriented healing modality where the client is already at a functioning level, but wants to progress much further in life than where they are now. It can be thought of as more focused on the future, where therapy can be focused more on the past. There may be stuck points that coaching clients also need to work through, and a life coach can certainly help with that. Perhaps the client is able to function in their day-to-day tasks, but inside feels disempowered and not living their full potential. Maybe they are limiting themselves, or not even sure of what step to take next in life. These are all things a life coach can dive into with you. Life coaches can help you perform better mentally and emotionally. They can help you work through emotional discomfort and achieve your goals.

A life coach will assess you and your needs and determine if they can assist you with their services. If not, they will refer you to a therapist or another healer that would be more suitable. It is important to note that life coaches are not medical professionals and cannot diagnose or treat mental health conditions. 

However, a big benefit to life coaching is that coaches can meet with anyone, anywhere. Therapists are only able to meet with clients in the province where they live and practice therapy.

There are certainly some crossovers and similarities between therapy and life coaching.

The main thing is that both therapists and coaches share a common goal, and that is to see you succeed! We want to help you better yourself, so you can build a bulletproof mindset and thrive.

If you’ve made it this far and think that coaching is more in alignment with your needs- click here to book a consultation (offered in English or Spanish) with our Teen Life Coach, Kari:

Book Online | Pyramid Psychology (janeapp.com)

Well, it looks like it is that time of year again! End of a school year. And you know what that means, right? Tests! Lots of tests. The unfortunate reality of tests is the dreaded test anxiety that can sometimes go with it. But its ok, we know how to help you cope!
Most often test anxiety is produced by the apprehension and pressure to do well on an evaluation. Test anxiety can show up in both physical (fight or flight) and mental (worry about information recall). However, some anxiety is normal and can help one in a test while for others it can be debilitating. So, what can we do as parents to help support that test anxiety?
Well, step one: talk about the test with your teen, what is causing worry? Perhaps it’s the material, maybe it’s the setting? Has your student studied the material; do they understand it? Talk about the worry, talking about it can help it become much smaller. Here are some other tips parents can use to help their teen with test anxiety and help them crush their goals.
Visualize the test day, what does your student need to have to be prepared, have them imagine walking into the test and feeling positive and prepared to write it. Talk about the test with them and go through how they want the test to be, and how they want the outcome result to be.
Talk about rational expectations. If your teen has not been present in class or is missing key components, they might not be able to get the grades they wish for. And that is ok, try to work through any catastrophizing thoughts they may have, and discuss the reality of the situation.
Mindfulness is a good strategy for how to cope with stress during tests. Talk about being in the present moment with your teen, especially when they begin to feel overly anxious. Focus on one task at a time. Stay in the moment and with each thought that appears don’t judge it, just recognize that it is just a thought and let it go.

Practice replacing negative self-talk with more rational thoughts. Take a moment to acknowledge how far you have come and give yourself praise.
Name your test anxiety, naming it creates the idea that it exists outside of yourself, putting distance to the uncomfortable thought.
Self-care, acknowledge that this time will pass. Plan something to look forward to do after the test.

Celebrate those small achievements, congratulate them on trying. Celebrate that they did something that was hard and uncomfortable.
As parents we really want to focus on the basics here as well, good sleep hygiene, a healthy diet, and the inclusion of some moderate to light exercise to keep healthy. Look at other stressors in your teens life and look to reduce anything for a bit to help take some of the pressure off.

I hope that some of these ideas, and skills can help you parents work with your teens through some of these big academic challenges so that they can cope with stress and anxiety during tests. I know June can be a busy time for parents, and kids alike. If you would like any further support, please contact us here at Pyramid Psychology and we would be happy to help.

Guided meditation for test anxiety
https://youtu.be/AtF0T2fPvbI

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

This topic came up from one of our parents, who suggested that kids are being ‘bubble wrapped’ these days. I started to think about what this really means and how this could be the perception from some adults. I wanted to address what this could possibly means and look like. As a parent and someone who works with youth, I think that the mentality of them being bubble wrapped may be coming from a place of diverse experiences from ourselves as parents and what our kids are experiencing. I know when I look at my childhood experiences and life compared to what my kids have and their experiences, there is a big disparity. The world has changed and is continuing to do so at a rapid rate. Some differences I have noticed, well social media and access to knowledge is huge. There is a period of possible trauma during covid…
A lot of homes have dual income parents leaving a lot of kiddos with time to themselves. Parents wanting to keep up with what their kids want and what expectations are perceived through society.
So, what do we do as parents, how to we help our kiddos to see the world and experience life without wearing rose colored glasses.
 I think that as parents having our kids involved in finances is a big life learning
experience. Let them know what some of the bills are, and rent.
 Let them fail, as humans we learn through practice and trying things that ultimately
don’t work all the time, celebrate the fact for trying and normalize failures.

 Encourage new experiences, friends.
 Give them more responsibilities, what can they do to help themselves and the family
out. Can they make dinner for a night, are they maintaining certain areas of the house?

Raising teens is not easy, and the world can be a tough hard place for even the strongest of individuals. Learning about ourselves is a constant process. By taking some time for yourself as a parent and stepping back at how you communicate with your teen can be a useful way to look at how you’re connecting with your teen. I know sometimes I hear my parents when I am parenting, and I need to ask if this is what I am in line with or if this a learned way of thinking?
I hope that this can help some parents gain some insight and perspective into helping your teens learn to navigate the world. There is a lot out there to offer and I know your teens have so much to offer the world. Let’s help them get out there and live more experiences!

Tara Aldie