Blog post creative
05 Jun
Anxiety, Confidence, Emotions

How to Thrive Past Trauma or Unstable Environments

Hi everyone, I’m Chipo Bvindi, a mental health therapist dedicated to helping young people navigate life’s challenges. Today, I want to talk about something close to my heart; “How to Thrive Past Trauma or Unstable Environments.” Growing up can be tough, especially if you’ve experienced trauma or lived in an unstable environment- but I want you to know that thriving is possible, and I’m here to guide you through it.

Understanding Trauma and Unstable Environments

First, let’s define what we mean by trauma and unstable environments. Trauma can be any distressing experience that overwhelms your ability to cope; such as abuse, neglect, loss, or witnessing violence. An unstable environment might involve frequent changes, lack of support, or unpredictability at home or in your community.

These experiences can leave deep scars, but they don’t have to define your future. With effort and the right strategies, you can overcome these challenges and lead a fulfilling life.

Steps to Thrive

  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, or confused about what you’ve been through. Suppressing these emotions only makes them stronger. Acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to feel them without judgment. This is the first step in healing.

  1. Seek Support

You don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to someone you trust—a friend, family member, teacher, or therapist. Talking about your experiences can be incredibly freeing and helps you process your emotions. Support groups can also be a great resource.

  1. Practice Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is crucial. This means getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and finding time for activities you enjoy. Self-care also includes setting boundaries to protect your mental health, such as limiting time with people who bring negativity into your life.

  1. Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Instead of turning to harmful behaviours to cope, find healthy ways to manage stress and emotions. This might include journaling, drawing, playing sports, or practicing mindfulness and meditation. Experiment with different activities to see what works best for you.

  1. Focus on Your Strengths

Everyone has strengths, even if they’re not always obvious. Identify what you’re good at and what makes you feel strong. This could be anything from a talent in art or music to a knack for solving problems or helping others. Building on your strengths boosts your confidence and resilience.

  1. Create a Vision for Your Future

Trauma can make it hard to see beyond the present moment. Take some time to think about what you want for your future. Set small, achievable goals and work towards them step by step. This helps create a sense of purpose and direction.

                                  

  1. Seek Professional Help if Needed

Sometimes, professional help is necessary to fully heal. Therapists and counsellors are trained to help you work through trauma and develop coping strategies. Don’t hesitate to seek out professional support if you need it.

 

About Me

I’m Chipo Bvindi, a mental health therapist with a passion for helping teens, young adults, and adults. I specialize in anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, life transitions, instability, trauma, and grief. My goal is to provide a safe and supportive space for my clients to explore their feelings, heal, and grow. I believe in the power of resilience and the importance of doing the work to move past challenges and build a brighter future.

Thriving is a Journey

Remember: thriving past trauma or an unstable environment is a journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem. Every step forward is a victory.

You’re stronger than you think, and with the right tools and support, you can overcome your past and build a bright future. Keep going, and never give up on yourself.

Take care,

Chipo Bvindi

This Article: “How to Thrive Past Trauma or Unstable Environments” was written by: CHIPO | Pyramid Psychology

talk about depression
27 Dec
Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens

Tips to Talk to Your Teen About Depression

Tips to Talk to Your Teen About Depression

Learning how to talk about depression with your teen is not an easy task; as a parent of a teen girl, and therapist working with teens too – I KNOW this can be a challenge! But when we recognize that are teens are struggling and something doesn’t feel right, as parents we need to step in. We want to step in because we want to help! Also, lot of us did not grow up with all this new mental health knowledge, our teens probably have a pretty good vocabulary and awareness on more than we give them credit for. As parents we know our teens best, we can often recognize when they are not themselves. So what do we do and how can we approach our kids when we begin to see them struggle. 

———

The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness  CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

———

talk to your teen about depression

Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

If your teen seems to be struggling with some intense feelings or their mood has visibly changed, maybe they have habits that seem different. It could all warrant a conversation. I would recommend approaching your teen when things are calmer in your house, i.e not right after school when chaos could be prevalent. You want to make sure that you are also in a good headspace, take a minute to make sure that you are coming from a place of love and concern. Once you have a calm atmosphere and you are calm yourself, I would try asking them if anything has happened lately. Mention that you have noticed that they are not spending time with their friends as much or doing the activities they love. Coming from a place of love tell them that you are concerned and want to know if there is anything that perhaps that could have occurred at school or an incident with friends. If your teen cannot pinpoint anything directly, it is a good time to open the discussion about mental health. You could ask them if they want to go for a walk or a coffee or play a game. By engaging in an activity, you kind of take the pressure off of your teen, and it can also help relax your teen making them more likely to engage in conversation. 

 

Depression and anxiety are very common, and everyone experiences feelings of sadness and anxiety at some point. Teens often don’t realize that this is normal and can get really worried about it. Telling your teen that this is normal and that it is ok to feel anxiety and depression, and just because they feel sad or anxious, does not mean you are depressed or have anxiety. Discussing these feelings in a safe place and space will help your teen feel more comfortable. Let them know that it is ok and that you are always there to help and to talk. Talking about it

talk to your teen about depression

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

can help so much on its own! If your teen struggles with being open with you, that’s ok, try not to take it too personally. It may be a good time to look up a counsellor for your teen, as having someone trusted and confidential can really help. Let them know that seeing a counsellor is really just part of keeping your health in check. At Pyramid Psychology we are here to help, listen and provide tools for your teen when they are experiencing times of distress. Good luck, and please reach out for a free consultation HERE if you would like further support.

 

Love,

Tara Aldie

Graduate Student in Counselling offering affordable counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old) online, and in person in Airdrie, Alberta

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada – $40 per session. Free consultation here.

———

The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness  CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

———

 

About Tara

Hello, my name is Tara, and I am a graduate student in counselling, I will be doing my practicum at Pyramid Psychology and I am very excited to practice all the skills I have learned as well as develop new relationships.

I have experience working with youth and teens and I also navigate parenting to four of my own kids. I tend to work with a solution focused, client centred and cognitive behavioural approach. I know that being a teen is tough, and sometimes are problems exasperated by social media and technology.

I struggled with fitting in as a teen, and I really felt that I didn’t belong. After years of soul searching and many personal ups and downs, I realized that my uniqueness was a strength. My goal is to help navigate through these difficult times while promoting self-discovery and personal strengths.

I understand that parents can often feel confused and left out of their teen’s life. I look to bridge the gap between these differences through positive communication. Teens need all the support they can get; the world and relationships can often seem crazy and unrelatable. I work to help bring closeness within existing supports and help develop and foster relationships.

With art, music, writing, play and movement we can work together to help promote self-discovery. I look forward to creating a positive and healing journey with you!

Book a free consultation with me here.

Serving teens in Alberta age 11-18, online or in person (Airdrie, Alberta).

12 Dec
Anxiety, Confidence, Emotions, For Parents

10 Ways to Help Your Anxious Teen Enjoy Winter Break

10 Ways to Help Your Anxious Teen Enjoy Winter Break

I’m writing this blog because the other day I really had to take time to step into my client’s shoes. Christmas break is something I’ve always looked forward to… But that isn’t always the case for the teens I work with. Breaks from school can be stressful without having their friends around; they are alone a lot of the time. They loathe the idea of being stuck for hours on end with nothing to do. Hearing teens say these things gave me a glimpse into the reality that Christmas break is not all presents and joy.

 

(If this sounds like your daughter – here is an article I wrote just for her last year: 5 Practical Ways to Take Control of Your Happiness).

 

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

 

If you have a teen daughter who:

  • Really thrives on routine
  • Seems nervous or on edge right now and it has nothing to do with how her school grades were
  • Struggles to initiate and put together plans with friends outside of school

She might be dreading Christmas break.

10 Ways to Help Your Anxious Teen Enjoy Christmas Break

#1 – Find Free Fun

Finding free fun. If you’re in a town or city, there’s usually a lot going on to celebrate the holidays. Checking ahead of time with your local library, city events sites, or even platforms like Eventbrite and Facebook will offer you loads of different and low-cost/free options (e.g. festivals, concerts, free library programming, etc.)

 

#2 -Try Something New Each Week

Try something new over the break! Novelty breathes excitement into life and teenage brains are designed to seek it more than at any age. Don’t know where to start on figuring out new things to try? Check out this article.

 

two women exchanging numbers

Photo from Canva Pro

#3 – Get Friends’ Contact Info

Get friend contact information (and parents if appropriate) ahead of time. Depending on your daughter’s age and skill level on planning and organizing, a little support from a loving parent may be a game changer. Little reminders and encouragement to make sure they can be in touch with friends through the summer can be helpful. Or even helping them to organize their first couple outings with friends outside of school.

 

#4 – Winter Camps

Summer camps. I know. Your teen may straight out balk at this idea. Other teens love them. Part of the secret to summer camp success is the fit. Try matching based on interest or attending with a friend to make this option a real success. 

 

#5 – Stick to A Routine

Staying up late and sleeping in is almost a quintessential part of Christmas break. But throwing routine completely out the window for 2 months is a recipe for exhaustion and bad moods. Encourage a summertime routine that continues to include rest, movement, and health hygiene.

 

Group of teens volunteering over summer break.

Photo by Canva Pro

#6 – Find Volunteer or Paid Opportunities

Line up some volunteer or paid opportunities. Even if it’s just a few hours a week, doing something that grows a skill, helps others, or puts money in her pockets is sure to be uplifting. If you’re in Calgary, Alberta you can check out Volunteer Connector HERE. You can also reach out to your YMCA, local churches, pools, libraries, neighbours and drum up some opportunities.

 

 

#7 – Make a Winter Bucket List

Make a Winter Bucket List. This is a fun family activity. Everyone puts down things they would like to do throughout the break and a list is created. You can decide if it’s “pick one random each day” or “each family member gets a weekend where they choose the activity of their choice and all the other members participate”. You can get really creative with these and they are sure to make cool memories.

 

#8 – Travel

Travel. I know this can get expensive really quickly. If travelling abroad or taking a plane is just not an option for you right now, travel can be a 45-minute drive out to the mountains, or a fun little day trip to a unique place of interest near your town or city. Did you know there’s a gopher museum? Check it out! 

 

#9 – Learn A New Skill

Learn a new skill. Mastering or getting better at something is so rewarding. Whether it’s winter break or another season. There are so many options: Learning to play an instrument, ride a horse, make jewelry, dance, make a piece of clothing, cook, build a toolbox, martial arts, grow a garden, crotchet, start a business, just to name a few.

 

#10 – Exercise and Movement

teen girl skateboarding on summer break

Photo by lisboa ind. on Unsplash

Exercise and movement. Staying active is a great way to release happy making natural chemicals into your body and brain, as well as lower

stress. It can also be a nice way to connect with others. Getting a Y membership for the summer or signing up for a class might be the way to go. Or maybe it’s more walking, hiking, biking, swimming that also ensures Vitamin D doses.

 

BONUS TIP:

Many teens won’t talk to you, their parent, about their anxieties over summer break. Offering your daughter a neutral person to talk to, and set summer goals with, can be extremely helpful to her mental health. I have gathered a powerful team of therapists in the Pyramid Psychology family who have room for more teen clients this summer. You can meet my team – Jessa, Chipo & Tara – as well as book a free consultation here:

I want summer break help for my teen!

 

Here’s to making your anxious teen daughter’s winter break something she’ll be excited to tell her friends about in the summer.

Love,

Chantal

Psychologist, Teen Life Coach, and Founder of Pyramid Psychology

 

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

 

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

27 Oct
Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens, Teen Joy

How to Help Teen Girls with Test Anxiety

How to Help Teen Girls with Test Anxiety

Well, it looks like it is that time of year again – time to help teens with test anxiety!

The unfortunate reality of tests is the dreaded test anxiety that can sometimes go with it.

But its ok, we got you!

 

—————————————

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

Most often test anxiety is produced by the apprehension and pressure to do well on an evaluation. Test anxiety can show up in both physical (fight or flight) and mental (worry, about information recall). However, some anxiety is normal and can help one in a test while for others it can be debilitating. So, what can we do as parents to help support that test anxiety?

8 Ways to Help Teen Girls with Test Anxiety

talk to teen girls about test anxiety

Photo by Canva Pro

Tip #1: Talk About It

Well, step one talk about the test with your teen, what is causing worry? Perhaps it’s the material, maybe it’s the setting? Has your teen studied the material; do they understand it?

Talk about the worry. Talking about it can help it become much smaller.

 

Tip #2: Visualize

Visualize the test day… What does your teen need to have to be prepared? Have them imagine walking into the test feeling positive and prepared to write it. Talk about the test with them and go through how they want the test to be, and how they want the outcome result to be.

 

Tip #3: Expectations

Talk about rational expectations. If your teen has not been present in class or is missing key components, they might not be able to get the grades they wish for. And that is ok, try to work through any catastrophizing thoughts they may have, and discuss the reality of the situation.

 

Tip #4: Mindfulness

Mindfulness, talk about being in the present moment with your teen, especially when they begin to feel overly anxious. Focus on one task at a time. Stay in the moment and with each thought that appears don’t judge it, just recognize that it is just a thought and let it go.

talk to teen girls about test anxiety

Photo by Canva Pro on Unsplash

 

Tip #5: Negative Self-Talk

Encourage your teen to practice replacing negative self-talk with more rational thoughts. Remind them to take a moment to acknowledge how far they have come and give themselves praise.

 

—————————————

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

 

Tip #6: Name Anxiety

Talk to your teen about naming their test anxiety. Naming it creates the idea that it exists outside of your teen, putting distance between them and their uncomfortable thoughts.

 

talk to teen girls about test anxiety

Photo by Canva Pro on Unsplash

Tip #7: Self-Care

As parents we really want to focus on the basics here as well – good sleep hygiene, a healthy diet, and the inclusion of some moderate to light exercise to keep healthy. Look at other stressors in your teens life and look to reduce anything for a bit to help take some of the pressure off.

 

Tip #8: Celebrate

Celebrate small achievements your teen makes along the way. Congratulate them on trying. Celebrate that they did something that was hard and uncomfortable. Cheer when they study.

Check out 5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun (blog written by a colleague in the Pyramid Psychology Family) to learn more ways to celebrate along the way.

Plan something for your teen to look forward to after their exams.

 

Take one of these tips at a time and implement them into life with your teen. You will be amazed at how much of a difference your support can make! (And you will feel less like you’re hopelessly watching on the outside, too).

Before I go, here is a BONUS TIP for your teen with exam anxiety! Offer for them to try a guided meditation the next time you’re driving them somewhere or there’s a quiet moment at home. Click here to listen to one I like.

Love,

Tara Aldie

Graduate Student in Counselling offering affordable counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old) online, and in person in Airdrie, Alberta

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada – $40 per session. Free consultation here.

 

—————————————

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

 

About Tara

Hello, my name is Tara, and I am a graduate student in counselling, I will be doing my practicum at Pyramid Psychology and I am very excited to practice all the skills I have learned as well as develop new relationships.

I have experience working with youth and teens and I also navigate parenting to four of my own kids. I tend to work with a solution focused, client centred and cognitive behavioural approach. I know that being a teen is tough, and sometimes are problems exasperated by social media and technology.

I struggled with fitting in as a teen, and I really felt that I didn’t belong. After years of soul searching and many personal ups and downs, I realized that my uniqueness was a strength. My goal is to help navigate through these difficult times while promoting self-discovery and personal strengths.

I understand that parents can often feel confused and left out of their teen’s life. I look to bridge the gap between these differences through positive communication. Teens need all the support they can get; the world and relationships can often seem crazy and unrelatable. I work to help bring closeness within existing supports and help develop and foster relationships.

With art, music, writing, play and movement we can work together to help promote self-discovery. I look forward to creating a positive and healing journey with you!

Book a free consultation with me here.

Serving teens in Alberta age 11-18, online or in person (Airdrie, Alberta).

13 Oct
Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens

How to Talk About Anxiety and Depression with Your Teen

How to Talk About Anxiety and Depression with Your Teen

Learning how to talk about anxiety and depression with your teen is not an easy task; as a parent of a teen girl, and therapist working with teens too – I KNOW this can be a challenge! But when we recognize that are teens are struggling and something doesn’t feel right, as parents we need to step in. We want to step in because we want to help! Also, lot of us did not grow up with all this new mental health knowledge, our teens probably have a pretty good vocabulary and awareness on more than we give them credit for. As parents we know our teens best, we can often recognize when they are not themselves. So what do we do and how can we approach our kids when we begin to see them struggle. 

———

The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness  CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

———

Photo from Canva Pro

If your teen seems to be struggling with some intense feelings or their mood has visibly changed, maybe they have habits that seem different. It could all warrant a conversation. I would recommend approaching your teen when things are calmer in your house, i.e not right after school when chaos could be prevalent. You want to make sure that you are also in a good headspace, take a minute to make sure that you are coming from a place of love and concern. Once you have a calm atmosphere and you are calm yourself, I would try asking them if anything has happened lately. Mention that you have noticed that they are not spending time with their friends as much or doing the activities they love. Coming from a place of love tell them that you are concerned and want to know if there is anything that perhaps that could have occurred at school or an incident with friends. If your teen cannot pinpoint anything directly, it is a good time to open the discussion about mental health. You could ask them if they want to go for a walk or a coffee or play a game. By engaging in an activity, you kind of take the pressure off of your teen, and it can also help relax your teen making them more likely to engage in conversation. 

 

Photo from Canva Pro

Depression and anxiety are very common, and everyone experiences feelings of sadness and anxiety at some point. Teens often don’t realize that this is normal and can get really worried about it. Telling your teen that this is normal and that it is ok to feel anxiety and depression, and just because they feel sad or anxious, does not mean you are depressed or have anxiety. Discussing these feelings in a safe place and space will help your teen feel more comfortable. Let them know that it is ok and that you are always there to help and to talk. Talking about it can help so much on its own! If your teen struggles with being open with you, that’s ok, try not to take it too personally. It may be a good time to look up a counsellor for your teen, as having someone trusted and confidential can really help. Let them know that seeing a counsellor is really just part of keeping your health in check. At Pyramid Psychology we are here to help, listen and provide tools for your teen when they are experiencing times of distress. Good luck, and please reach out for a free consultation HERE if you would like further support.

 

Love,

Tara Aldie

Graduate Student in Counselling offering affordable counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old) online, and in person in Airdrie, Alberta

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada – $40 per session. Free consultation here.

———

The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness  CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

———

 

About Tara

Hello, my name is Tara, and I am a graduate student in counselling, I will be doing my practicum at Pyramid Psychology and I am very excited to practice all the skills I have learned as well as develop new relationships.

I have experience working with youth and teens and I also navigate parenting to four of my own kids. I tend to work with a solution focused, client centred and cognitive behavioural approach. I know that being a teen is tough, and sometimes are problems exasperated by social media and technology.

I struggled with fitting in as a teen, and I really felt that I didn’t belong. After years of soul searching and many personal ups and downs, I realized that my uniqueness was a strength. My goal is to help navigate through these difficult times while promoting self-discovery and personal strengths.

I understand that parents can often feel confused and left out of their teen’s life. I look to bridge the gap between these differences through positive communication. Teens need all the support they can get; the world and relationships can often seem crazy and unrelatable. I work to help bring closeness within existing supports and help develop and foster relationships.

With art, music, writing, play and movement we can work together to help promote self-discovery. I look forward to creating a positive and healing journey with you!

Book a free consultation with me here.

Serving teens in Alberta age 11-18, online or in person (Airdrie, Alberta).

06 Oct
Anxiety, Counselling, Emotions, For Teens, Self-Compassion

EDS Framework: 3 Simple Steps to Handle Big Emotions (for teens)

EDS Framework: 3 Simple Steps to Handle Big Emotions (for teens)

As a psychologist, one idea that I introduce to teens who are struggling with big emotions is to use the EDS framework: express, distract, and soothe to handle big teen emotions. No one tool will work all the time, so having a variety to choose from and which are personalized to you is a great way to be prepared when those big emotions roll around.

Many of the teens I work with keep a list or visual graphic handy to use when they are feeling overwhelmed. When emotions are running high, the logical part of our brain tends to not work quite as well, and having an external visual reminder can help bridge that gap.

 

———-

The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness  CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

———-

Here is the EDS framework to handle big emotions:

Express

There are a variety of ways to express your emotions. One of the first ways to express emotions that is mentioned is talking to a family member or friend. This could be face-to-face, but due to the rise in technology, teens are likely to use video chat or texting.

Expressing emotions to someone else is not the only form of expression, and some people even prefer to express emotions individually.

Photo from Canva Pro

Journaling, drawing, creative writing, or using other artistic mediums can all be helpful ways to process big emotions. Some teens that I have worked with also use movements – such as dance or kickboxing – as a way to physically express emotions.

Distract

Distraction tends to be a favourite coping strategy among the teens (and adults!) that I work with. Using technology, such as looking at social media, watching a favourite show, or playing a videogame, are go-to strategies for many teens. Other teens gravitate toward spending time with friends or family, playing a sport, reading, or immersing themselves in a favourite hobby as a form of distraction.

Distraction can be a highly effective tool in managing big emotions, but if it is the only tool used and used frequently, distraction can easily turn into avoidance. As many of the teens I have worked with will tell you, avoiding emotions tends to only make them bigger.

Soothe

Soothing strategies include anything that will help calm down and relax your body. Here are a few ideas that teens have found helpful:

Photo from Canva Pro

  •         Taking a shower or bath
  •         Using a calm box
  •         Snuggling pets
  •         Getting cozy in a blanket and lighting some candles
  •         Drinking a favourite beverage
  •         Eating your favourite comfort food
  •         Spending time on skincare or nail care
  •         Yoga or stretching
  •         Listening to music

    Photo from Canva Pro

  •         Looking at favourite photos
  •         Doing something creative with your hands
  •         Meditations or mindfulness
  •         Journalling
  •         Podcasts or audiobooks
  •         Doing an act of kindness

 

———-

The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness  CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

———-

There can be overlap between the three EDS pillars, as some ideas will apply to more than one category. The key is to understand what you are doing and why.

For continued reading on handling big teen emotions, depression specifically, read my blog article ‘4 Depression Tips for Teen Girls‘.

If you’re not sure how to implement the EDS framework into your self-care routine, I offer private 1:1 therapy for teens and young adults in Alberta. Book a free consultation with me here.

AND, if your emotions are big enough that you’re feeling depress

You can email our team with next steps at info@pyramidpsychology.com

Love, Jessa

 

Jessa is a registered psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

Teen girl in hijab smiling with self compassion
08 Sep
Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens

A Guide to Self-Compassion for Teen Girls

A Guide to Self-Compassion for Teen Girls

Have you realized that being compassionate and accepting of others, their mistakes and their flaws is quite easy to do? But when it comes to us, we struggle with exercising self-compassion ourselves… Ever wondered where this comes from? Well, most of the time we hold ourselves to a higher standard, which at times costs us our humanity. To add, it could also be influenced by how we are raised, natured, and cared for, cultural, and traditional factors and systematic exclusions too. Here are some tips to help build self-compassion: 

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

———

If you are struggling with self-compassion and feel stuck in a cycle of self-judgement and critique, ask yourself, how would you treat a friend in a similar situation? And then apply that response to your given situation. This allows you to learn and make room for mistakes, and at the end of the day, we are all human and you are not alone in being imperfect. As no one is.  What could also help is making time for caring for yourself and your needs? Self-care could be of great help to engaging in self-compassion as viewing yourself as deserving of care and engaging in self-care practices allows you to note how self-compassion is also a crucial part of your human experience. 

 

teen girl proud of herself as she builds self compassion

Photo by Alex McCarthy on Unsplash

Another tip would be to try to be more self-accepting of who you are and your own journey. Everyone is on their own unique path and how it lays out can be very different from our own. What difference would it make if you engaged in self-acceptance of your shortcomings, our critical self-talk and realized these elements do not make our whole existence and might actually take up about 1% of who we are? This can also allow one to focus on their strengths rather than weaknesses that do not define the overall you. We create space to discover what aligns and is important to us by letting go of what isn’t right or ours to carry. Self-acceptance allows us to accept things for what they are and hold space for emotions that come along. By paying attention to our emotions and feelings, we also master what they can be trying to tell us about what we really need in life and what is important to us. 

 

Exercising mindfulness could do wonders for the self. This means allowing yourself to live in the present moment, and accepting things as they are. Mindfulness can be an important practice as it allows us to be present, as at times our inner critique is often at the forefront of our decisions, and who we are as people, and thus dictates the narrative we choose to believe. Practising mindfulness, allows us to be mindful of where our thoughts go to (sometimes to the past or future), which can result in us beating ourselves up, for things we cannot change or beyond our control.  By practicing mindfulness, we allow the experience to be there as it is, examine what is going on, practice curiosity and attend to what to happening with mindfulness and care. As well as kindness. 

 

Here are some guided meditations that you could use when trying to practice self-compassion-related mindfulness: https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/

teen girl meditating as part of her self compassion practice

Photo by Imani Bahati on Unsplash

 

Self compassion is an up and down journey that takes time to work through. Most adults still aren’t all the way there! If you would like 1:1 support, but aren’t sure if therapy is a good option for you, read our blog:

 

4 Ways to Tell If Teen Therapy Is Right For You

 

We have several therapists you can get to know, and book a free consultation with, here:

BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION (for Alberta teens aged 11-21)

 

———

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

———

test pressure on a teen who is studying hard
01 Sep
Anxiety, Emotions, For Parents, Teen Joy

The Impact of Test Pressure for Teen Girls

The Pressure on Teens to Achieve

Last June, one of my clients, a teen girl was telling me if her grades dropped below a certain mark, it would ruin her whole summer and the thought of writing her upcoming exam made her feel sick… I’ve been thinking a lot about her, as teen girls are re-entering the school year and feeling the pressure of another year. It is a stress so severe that it paralyzes the brightest young people I know. And I see it all too often.

And usually, I write from the perspective of offering tips and ideas. Today, I’m writing more of a reflective piece. 

The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness  CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

 

I have more questions than answers. 

I’m not talking about the feel-goods that come with accomplishments or natural stresses associated with performance. I’m seeing the burden of pressure and high demands that teen girls carry on the rise. And it’s enough to make the strongest humans collapse.

teen meltdown from test pressure

Photo from Canva Pro

Why are our teens obsessing over results? Why are her survival mechanisms, the ones meant to keep her safe from serious threat, kicking into full gear when it comes to taking a test or handing in a paper?

They tell me it is not because someone expects them to get high-achieving results. (I mean it is a factor of not wanting to disappoint or let someone down). But for many, it is a self-imposed expectation. One that is placed at such a high value that if it is not met, it feels devastating. 

Is this something that has gotten worse over time? In recent years, we have had a lot of distressing things come to light that have probably left many teens feeling like their lives are out of control. And when there is chaos, finding ways to gain a sense of control is a natural response. Taking control of how often you study, what grades you can achieve, what results you can pump out has probably become a focal point for some.

What kind of messages are we sending as a society about achievement? In a world of many opportunities, could it be incredibly naïve to think there wouldn’t be consequences? Having endless options brings along its own set of problems and pressures.

How are teen girls measuring their worth? External validation based on a number…. Holding onto labels like precious cargo,  “The Golden Child”, “She’s so smart”, “School is easy for her”.

What measuring stick does she use to know her value in this world?

How do we as helpers, parents, society, nurture messages that encourage youth to thrive and put in solid effort in what they do without creating a generation whose identities are so tied up in (academic) achievement or getting it right. It’s worth questioning.

When I ask myself questions like this, I immediately look at the work I do for teens every day. What am I doing to guide teen girls in this world?

teen girl writing test

Photo from Canva Pro

The answer?

To create and build on their own resilience skills, from the inside out.

If teen girls are self-imposing high expectations for their grades and exams, it only makes sense (to me) that they be taught to recreate those expectations internally.

The Happiness Pill is a 6-week group coaching experience I created to do exactly that.

While building community with other teen girls just like them, your daughter will learn how to feel confident from the inside out – regardless of her grades or exam results. She will learn how to navigate big emotions like anxiety and depression. And she will also walk away with skills to deal with the social pressure of making friends, fighting off bullies, and staying true to herself.

We start our next round in mid October 2023, with early bird pricing on until September 30th. Get all the details and register HERE.

Love,

Chantal
Psychologist, Teen Life Coach, and Founder of Pyramid Psychology

 

The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness  CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

 

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

Emotions to help with tips for teen depression
28 Jul
Emotions, For Parents, Friendships, Relationships

4 Depression Tips for Teen Girls

4 Depression Tips for Teen Girls

I am going to share 4 depression tips for teen girls, to help turn things around for you.

But first, I want to explain something… A theme in dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) is that emotions love themselves. What does this mean, exactly?

Well, if you are feeling down and depressed, you are going to naturally want to do things that actually keep you feeling that way (or even make the feeling stronger!). For example, if you are feeling down, then you are likely to withdraw from others, maybe spend a lot of time in bed, or start listening to sad music.

As another example, if you are feeling angry, then you may have an urge to get into an argument with someone, slam doors, or even break something.

 

teen self-worth

Teen Mental Health Handbook

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

When it comes to depression for teen girls, the feelings can be really strong, and motivation can be pretty low. Becoming more aware of how feelings of depression may end up leading to stronger feelings of depression is important to understand, because then we can start see how we can get stuck in a negative spiral. Here are a few tips to keep in mind if you are a teen struggling with depression!

4 Depression Tips for Teen Girls:

  1.     Try to have some kindness and compassion for yourself. Judging yourself harshly for having certain feelings or struggling to complete certain tasks only makes things worse. What might you say to a good friend who is struggling with depression? What would it look like for you to accept some of this advice?
  2.     Try to be curious about your emotions. Context matters, and our emotions are trying to tell us something and influence our actions. If
    Emotions to help with tips for teen depression

    Photo by Domingo Alvarez E on Unsplash

    you are feeling depressed, how would you be able to tell the difference between genuinely needing some time alone versus getting stuck in an emotion-loving-loop of withdrawal? Emotions do not like to be ignored, and spending some time being mindful and curious can help us choose our next step. (If you’d like help naming your emotions, here is a printable emotions wheel).

  3.     Sticking with the DBT theme, a strategy I sometimes introduce in my sessions is called the “opposite-action”. So, if you were feeling down or depressed, and the actions you were naturally drawn to were to withdraw or isolate, what would an opposite action look like? For some, it may be reaching out to a friend, or going for a walk, or practising self-care like taking a shower. What could it look like for you?


  4.     Make your next step so attainable that it is almost impossible to refuse. Sometimes we can get stuck by wanting everything to change at once, which is a good way to feel overwhelmed and keep the negative spiral going. What is one, small thing you can change today?

These are only a few ideas that come to mind to support you if you are struggling with depression – there are so many more resources out there.

The first way to start is to know that change is possible!

The second is to know you are not alone. There is support for you. START HERE TO GET HELP WITH DEPRESSION.

Love, Jessa

EMDR Certified and Registered Psychologist serving Alberta teens and young adults with Pyramid Psychology.

 

PS – Anxiety often goes hand in hand with depression. If you are experiencing anxiety, you can learn some valuable tips with our blog article: Anxiety and Choice.

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

 

Jessa is a registered, EMDR certified psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

black girl writing affirmations for teen girls
21 Jul
Confidence, Emotions, For Teens

10 Inner Power Affirmations for Teen Girls

10 Inner Power Affirmations for Teen Girls

With these 10 inner power affirmations for teen girls, you can empower yourself in all things friendship, community, and relationships.

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

 

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

 

10 Inner Power Affirmations for Teen Girls

black girl writing teen affirmations in her journal

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

  1. I am worthy of meaningful and healthy relationships. 
  2. I will do my best to cultivate healthy and meaningful relationships. 
  3. I deserve relationships where I can be my authentic self, without performance. Or pretence. 
  4. I am worthy as I am by just being me. My human worth is unmeasurable. 
  5. No one can be me and that is my superpower.
  6. I will strive for consistency over perfection in my relationships with others. 
  7. I am deserving of the same level of compassion I give others. 
  8. I am my oldest friend and will do better in caring for myself. 
  9. I allowed being more than one thing. There are many parts to my existence—all matter. 
  10. I am abundance in human form. I have a ton of love that can go around.

Take the affirmations that resonate with you, and read/say them to yourself as often as you need!

Keep the list and review it regularly as well. The ones that resonate will likely change as your life does.

And, when you’re ready, you can add a gratitude practice to your affirmations. Teen Happiness: The Science Behind Teen Gratitude is an article (written by my colleague here at Pyramid Psychology) to help you get started!

And if you’d like support creating your own affirmations or gratitude practice for your personal situation, book a free consultation with me. I am a Registered Social Worker supporting teen girls like YOU to love themselves from the inside out. Affirmations are a great first step!

 

Love,

Chipo

Register Social Worker offering counseling for teen girls (11-21 years old)

 

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

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