teen strengths

Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation (Only 5 Questions)

Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation (Only 5 Questions)

 

‘Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation’ is a blog article designed for teen girls like you to ask yourself questions to discover your personal strengths. 

As a teen, for me it was really difficult to have a sense of identity and to know my strengths. We are constantly told to be someone else, and not to accept ourselves. With so much peer pressure, societal pressure, and pressure from family it can be a really challenging time. It might help to reflect, ask yourself some questions and

analyse yourself and experiences. 

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

teen strengths

Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash

Here are 5 things to consider in order to step into your spotlight and discover your spark:

 

Strengths Question #1:

What is something that energises you and gives you life?

 

What is something that you get lost in? You could easily spend hours doing it without checking the time. You get into a flow, a vibe- it takes you to a happier place. For me this has always been my artistic pursuits – doing makeup, drawing and painting portraits. I love to see the results of something I helped create and seeing those results gave me a great feeling of excitement and fulfilment, especially when my client was on the same page and really grateful for my work.

Helping people also gives me life, when my work helps to improve the life of someone else – I feel like I have a purpose. But it doesn’t all have to be about work, it  could also be something like travelling or laying on the beach in the sun. Maybe you are passionate about nature or climate change.

 

Teen Strengths Question #2:

What do your friends and family consistently praise you for?

 

You might think sometimes your family and friends are just being nice, but if you keep hearing the same things over and over again about your strengths and talents there is probably some truth to what they are telling you from their perspective. So, pay attention. Maybe you are the one that everyone goes to for advice, or maybe you are a great listener and your friends always feel heard after being around you. 

Some things people have told me about myself are: you have a great sense of humour, you are caring, positive, you have a strong sense of justice, you’re patient, calm

teen strengths

Photo from Canva Pro

, kind, brave, talented at drawing faces, talented at makeup, good language skills. It also helps to say these things to yourself as positive affirmations, you will begin to feel so multi talented and full of purpose.

 

Teen Strengths Question #3:

Have you tried a myers-briggs personality test?

 

I didn’t do this until just last year because one of my friends sent me the website link one day. Although I have already figured out a lot about myself, knowing the results from this test really helped me come to a conclusion about where my strengths lie, and it also helped me with self acceptance. It turns out I have the rarest personality type (that’s one thing that makes me unique!).

The personality test will tell you things like what jobs are best suited for your personality, what you are like in a relationship, friendships, and your strengths and weaknesses. Mine confirmed that I am introverted, and my mission in life is to help others. I have a strong sense of justice. I am also creative, I have a sense that I never quite fit in, and that I value a few deep and meaningful connections rather than lots of friends. 

 

They are really fascinating in how accurate they are. The one I took can be found HERE.

 

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teen strengths

Teen Mental Health Handbook

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

————— 

 

Teen Strengths Question #4:

What have you been successful at?

 

It’s easy to look down on ourselves and think we haven’t been successful at anything. But the truth is, there are lots of things we have been good at. Looking back on my teen years, I was always good with the computer and technology. My family got our first computer when I was around 10 years old so as a teenager I was using the computer a lot. I’ve also been good with language and communication. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life when I graduated high school. There were so many options. My highest mark in school was actually in French and Global Geography. Anyone that knows me personally will see how this fits into my life now. 🙂

Specifically for work though, it is really important to know your personality and your strengths to bring more success.

 

Teen Strengths Question #5:

What are your values?

teen strengths

Photo by Microsoft Word on Unsplash

 

An easier way to ask this is by thinking about what you admire in other people.

I did not know that I valued spirituality until I met other people that really helped influence that. For me, a lot of my values came from the people I spent the most

time with. Through my first relationship I became really into personal development, and through my second more towards spirituality and mental health. Each day I strive to become more skilled, to continue learning, to be kind and to be of service to others. So, if I had to say one person with aspects that I really value, I would say Oprah. She is making a huge impact on the lives of others by helping to bring about positive change and awareness. 

 

If you are here on earth you have a purpose! So keep shining your light, and don’t be afraid to be your true self. Someone in this world needs something that only you can offer. And if you think that it has already been done, just remember that it hasn’t been done by YOU.

My colleague, Jessa wrote another blog article for you on understanding your spotlight. Take a read HERE.

If you are an Alberta resident, we have several skilled psychologists/social workers that can guide you through discovering who you are, and getting through the crap life throws at you. Book a free consultation HERE.

Love,

Kari

Admin Team Member at Pyramid Psychology (soon to be ‘Unbreakable Teen Me’)

 


Kari Bonnyman is a personal assistant from Nova Scotia, Canada. She is passionate about mental health and wellness and has first hand experience with strategies that have helped her navigate through the challenges of life. She loves doing breathwork, yoga, journalling, meditation, reading self help books related to mental health, volunteering to help others and focusing on her spiritual journey. When she is not working she can be found doing art, travelling, listening to spiritual/personal development podcasts, at the beach or in nature, and practicing French and Spanish.

teen strengths

Kari Bonnyman, Personal Assistant at Pyramid Psychology

help teen girls

3 Ways Parents Can Help Teen Girls Find Themselves

3 Ways Parents Can Help Teen Girls Find Themselves

If you’re raising a girl, have you ever wondered what could help teen girls step into their spotlight? AKA a place where they are embracing who they truly are and the ebbs and flow of life… If so, this blog post is for you.

Here are my top 3 suggestions for helping teen girls step into their spotlight (and I will elaborate more below):

  1. Pay attention to them
  2. Support them to develop coping, communication, and social skills
  3. Be a role model with your own spotlight

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

help teen girls

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

 

Paying Attention

Trust me, it pays to pay attention to your teen and ensure they feel valued, needed and supported. Pay attention to what they say, what they share with you, their goals and aspirations.

Teen girls have the ability to pick up on being heard and listened to. Sometimes, I have heard teens make remarks such as “oh well that does not matter anyways, mom or dad do not care and they won’t listen to what I have to say anyways”… And I don’t think these statements just come out like that, it’s a result of continued observation of how parents or guardians display paying attention or not. Or even an indication that they don’t care, they are the parent and have authority over their kids. 

help teen girls

Photo from Canva Pro

Developing Coping, Communication & Social Skills

You can use your own stories to share skills with teen girls that will help them navigate life’s challenges. Share some of the similar challenges you have experienced as a teen at one point in your life and how you addressed these challenges, whether it was an epic fail or success.

I think at times as parents or guardians we want to always reflect the good in what we do, but what if we shed a spotlight on our failures and shortcomings? This could help teens in developing resilience that life is not always perfect but they can strive for progress over perfection always even if their lives are flipped upside down along their journeys. This helps teen girls learn that failing or rather not getting things right is a part of life. What you do with life falling apart or not going as planned is what matters and could help teens develop skills of diverting control to what’s in their frame of control. 

 

—————————————

help teen girls

Teen Mental Health Handbook Cover

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

—————————————

 

Being A Role Model

I know no one is born or comes to planet earth with a manual on how to be a great parent. However, the least you can do is be a positive role model. By the age of 7 most of our patterns of behaviour, our beliefs and our habits are formed. This is very crucial to note in terms of development and behavioural adaptations kids may have and at the earliest this is also influenced by what they see and observe at home.

Are you a parent that shuts down when confronted. Are you a parent who yells and projects anger when in distress? Do you cope with stress by scrolling on social media for a number of hours? Do you rage at other drivers on the road? Are you able to address how you feel, and process your emotions in a healthy way? Are you taking care of your physical health too?

 Teen girls are watching and also adapting some of these behaviours into their own lives. You can help them by showing them that you are working through your flaws. 

help teen girls

Photo from Canva Pro

This blog article is food for thought and I hope it gives you an opportunity to reflect, develop some self-awareness and also think about the legacy you want to leave behind. Let’s help teen girls step into their spotlight together.

I offer private 1:1 therapy sessions to help teen girls with all of the above. I provide them with someone that is paying attention, a positive role model, and offer them various strategies to cope with life’s challenges.

If you are an Alberta resident, book your free consultation with me here.

 

Love,

Chipo Bvindi

Registered Social Worker offering counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old)

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada

 


I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

teen truths

5 Teen Truths

5 Teen Truths

I have a confession to make! 

The other day I was volunteering to build boxes for a local charity that serves those who experience food scarcity. I got paired up with a lovely teen human. The job was pretty straightforward. Fold the box. Tape the box. Label the box. So after building a  couple, you kind of get the hang of it. 

This meant we had lots of time to talk. The more I listened to my table buddy, hearing about all the things they were interested in and knew about, the more my heart felt full. Then a couple days later, one of my teen client’s was telling me about their passion. She proudly shared some of her art with me. That same full heart feeling

appeared. Once again today as a parent told me how

teen truths

Photo by Mike Von on Unsplash

their teen faced their fear in doing something they had been procrastinating on for a long time, the centre of my chest lit up like a Christmas Tree. 

I’m starting to sense a pattern. 

>>> FREE ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEEN GIRLS: The Wellness hub <<<

A private online community for teen girls only, with access to wellness resources such as audio clips & blogs:

Wellness Hub Waiting List

My Confession:

I’m a HUGE admirer of teens. I think of the curiosity, creativity, and sense of rebellion (in a let’s do it differently than the generations before us kind of energy) all bundled into one amazing vessel of potential. And, after talking to hundreds of teen girls, each is incredibly unique. Each one of you has a story to tell, experiences that have shaped you, opinions about the world, things you care about, unique taste in music, sense of fashion, relationships, etc. 

I see you. I hear you. I am Inspired.

 

If you:

  • Doubt what you have to say matters. You’re not alone 
  • Think that adults won’t pay attention or understand. You’re probably a little bit right 
  • Hesitate because you think others will be disappointed.  It’s normal (still don’t let it stop you) 
  • Believe you don’t measure up to how perfect others appear to be. Let that go right now! 
  • Don’t think you have any great qualities or strengths. Think again Think again

 

teen truths

Photo by Ernest Brillo on Unsplash

>>> FREE ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEEN GIRLS: The Wellness hub <<<

A private online community for teen girls only, with access to wellness resources such as audio clips & blogs:

Wellness Hub Waiting List

There are many people like me, dedicated and equally curious about who you are and who can’t wait to see how you will shape the world around you by virtue of being you. Have those people in your court! Get your name down for our soon to be online wellness hub community HERE.

Over the next couple months, we at Pyramid Psychology are focusing on all things connected to what makes you unique. Uncovering your strengths, values, skills and stepping into your spotlight. And knowing there’s a group of caring, sincere, adults that are cheering you on every step of the way. 

Can’t wait to meet you! 

Love, 

Chantal

 


Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

teen confidence

5 Ways to Help Girls Develop Teen Confidence

You don’t have to feel helpless watching your daughter struggle with teen confidence. I am going to share 5 ways you can help her develop confidence.

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. JOIN THE WAITING LIST: FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents.

This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

 

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

Adolescence is often a stage in life that is demanding in itself as teens go through transitions, developments, and relational and behavioural alterations. This period

teen confidence

Photo from Canva Pro

of tremendous change could also be filled with moments or periods of low self-esteem. Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence have one thing in common… the Self in these words and a reference to the relationship we have with ourselves, i.e how one views or feels about themselves….

Parents can help their daughters with teen confidence by building their self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence through some of the following suggestions, tools, and techniques.

 

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. JOIN THE WAITING LIST: FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents.

This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

 

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

 

5 Ways You Can Help Your Daughter Build Teen Confidence:

teen confidence

Photo by Jonatas Domingos on Unsplash

#1 – Praise the process and not the outcomes… Praising the outcome often comes naturally – you are proud of what your daughter accomplishes! However, I encourage you to also praise  the things your daughter has learned, or skills she developed, when working towards a goal or arriving at the outcome (be it good or bad). This allows her to develop a growth mindset as well as promotes teens to be resilient.

#2 Have realistic expectations for your daughter. Sometimes you may be trying to live life through your children. (Your own self-worth often plays a part here). As a result you can end up setting unrealistic standards that result in a lot of pressure and performance to appease parents, rather than being authentic and truly embracing progress over perfection. 

#3 Encourage your daughter to engage in positive self-talk and model positive self-talk yourself. Prompt your daughter to note when she is being judgemental, harsh or cruel towards themselves. Reflect on this and also for them to stop… by embracing being human and exercising some self-compassion. My colleague, Jessa Tiemstra, Provisional Psychologist wrote a blog article to help you model confidence for your daughter. Take a read HERE.

#4 Create a gratitude or success trail of paper… As a habit teen girls can engage in by documenting successes, and accomplishments, that they can read to themselves or can serve as reminders of what they have managed to overcome or achieve. Even some of the strengths and skills they developed along the way…. This can be something that can be reviewed in times of distress

teen confidence

Photo by sofatutor on Unsplash

or when their self-esteem is down. 

#5 Help your daughter notice and be aware of dynamics that might trigger not-so-good feelings…. Is it a place, people, relationships, or friendships,

that activate low self-esteem or low self-worth…encourage them to develop healthy boundaries in letting the aforementioned (people/ friendships)  know they will not tolerate such behaviours or can simply look at stepping away? Help your daughter understand that boundaries are there to take care of them and also are necessary for healthy relationships. Having boundaries in areas where people act in less than respectful ways is okay! 

Teen confidence is one of three pillars your daughter needs to be okay now and in the future. The other two are: developing healthy relationships, and learning how to step into their spotlight.

Our online community (launching early 2023) will have a forum specifically for teen girls with resources for them on all three pillars. It will also have a parent forum for you. Join the waiting list here.

 

Love,

Chipo

Register Social Worker offering counseling for female identifying teens (11-21 years old)

 


I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

modelling teen confidence

3 Tips to Model Teen Confidence for Your Daughter

3 Tips to Model Teen Confidence for Your Daughter

If you have an adolescent girl in your life who is struggling with teen confidence, this short-and-sweet blog is for you.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

 

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

 

modelling teen confidence

Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

When it comes to teen confidence, this idea is SO important, especially for teen girls. It can be easy to encourage our loved ones to see their strengths and to be more confident, while in the same breath, thinking or speaking negatively about ourselves. At times, there can be something a little wonky about how we treat ourselves in comparison to the ones we hold dear in this life.

If we are being honest, this can send some mixed messages to teens. This may be all the more true for teenagers, as I often hear parents say something along the lines of “I just wish ‘Suzy’ could see herself how I see her!”. In a nutshell, we can be skilled at genuinely caring about others while picking out our own “shortcomings”. The teenage years are a time of identity and growth and having self-confidence can be especially challenging when you are still figuring out who you are!

When teens receive messages that they should believe they are beautiful, competent, and that effort matters more than outcome … but then see you pointing out your own physical “flaws” or getting down on yourself for making a mistake (or simply just being human) … how does a teen make sense of that? It can be confusing and challenging, and messages from society can make it even harder.

There is no easy fix or one-and-done solution to such a dynamic and complex topic, but I will share 3 tips with you below.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

 

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

 

Modelling Teen Confidence Tip #1: Think about what confidence looks like

modelling teen confidence

Photo from Canva Pro

We all receive messages about how confidence may look, but what is confidence really?

Going back to my teen years, I think I may have confused confidence with popularity.

I think I may have confused confidence with extraversion.

I certainly confused confidence with an appearance of not caring what others thought. Who knows what was happening beneath the surface?

I no longer see it that way.

Instead, I tend to see confidence as a dynamic way of being that is multi-layered and multi-faceted. Sometimes confidence is quiet, sometimes it is loud. To me, confidence is a willingness to learn, to grow, and to be wrong. Confidence is standing up for what is right even when it may be hard. It is knowing that your value goes deeper than whatever label may be tossed your way.

 

Modelling Teen Confidence Tip #2: Be the type of person you hope your daughter becomes

Internet rules for teens are a hot topic amongst parents, particularly as friendships are increasingly going or starting online for teens.

Parents bring up concerns about safety, appropriate messages, and cyberbullying.

Teens, in response, talk about how important the online platforms are for them to stay in contact with their friends or how “uncool” they would be to not be active on certain platforms.

 

Modelling Teen Confidence Tip #3: Have an honest talk

modelling teen confidence

Photo from Canva Pro

Societal messages are not always kind or helpful, and there are a whole lot of messages out there about who we should or should not be. As a woman, I can certainly say that I have received many subtle and not-so-subtle messages about my worth being linked to my physical appearance.

 For some parents, it can be helpful to have an honest talk with their teen that having self-confidence and positive self-talk can genuinely be challenging. Creating some sort of “agreement” to encourage each other and gently challenge unhelpful and untrue thoughts can bring awareness, transparency, and mutual support. This isn’t meant to be a formal contract, but rather, an acknowledgement that having self-confidence is not a challenge that occurs only in the teen years. You can use the 7 qualities teens need for an unbreakable mindset as a starting point, in my colleagues blog article HERE.

 

This is a complex topic that I have barely scratched the surface of, but I hope these tips give you something to think about. If you have some thoughts, I would love to hear them! You can email our team with questions at info@pyramidpsychology.com.

Or, you can BOOK YOUR FREE CONSULTATION with me to create a personalized plan for you, and set up ongoing support for your daughter.

Love,

Jessa Tiemstra

Provisional Psychologist servicing teen girls and young adults.

 

 


Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

 

 

teen mindset

7 Qualities to Create An Unbreakable Teen Mindset

7 Qualities to Create An Unbreakable Teen Mindset

As a teen life coach, I almost always hear from parents of teen girls how they want their daughters to have the tools to be happy. You want your teens to be able to handle challenging experiences and be OK now and as they grow into adulthood.  Creating an unbreakable teen mindset from within is the best tool you have to guide your daughter to happiness.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

 

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

teen mindset

Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

Do you ever worry that stress, overwhelm, or just life in general are too much for your daughter some days? 

I’ve noticed the teens who work with our team who see the biggest difference in their lives; the ones who tell us they are happier and healthier, are the ones who have been able to master what we call an Unbreakable Teen Mindset. One of the three essential pillars that we teach teens is how to use their mind, thoughts, and attitudes to help them live their best lives. 

If your teen daughter is struggling to find happiness because of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm, let me tell you what building an Unbreakable Teen Mindset is and what it can do for her.

An Unbreakable Mindset is not about getting right all the time. It is not about perfection (is there such a thing?!). It is not about always being happy.

An Unbreakable Teen Mindset is about building up the following qualities: 

  • Confidence in trying and doing things even if it may not work out the way you hoped.
    teen mindset

    Photo from Canva Pro

  • Flexibility in knowing there isn’t only one way.

  • Growth in seeing where you were, where you are, and where you are heading.

  • Perspective in being able to take a step back and consider things in different ways.

  • Grit in preserving when the going gets tough.

  • Insight in always learning more about yourself, your relationships, and the world.

  • The power to pivot when something or some way of thinking is just not working. 

 

teen mindset

Photo from Canva Pro

By building up each of these qualities (and no it doesn’t all have to happen at once), your daughter is growing an Unbreakable Teen Mindset; A way of thinking that will help her not only survive the ups and downs of being a teen, but to live a happier and healthier life that goes well beyond her teenage years. 

Join our community of adolescent girl identifying teens (age 11-21) to learn more about how to help your teen gain the tools to be unbreakable by downloading our free Anxiety and Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls here:

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

 

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Love,

Chantal

 


Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

teen confidence

5 Ways for Parents to Boost Teen Confidence

I want to share a personal story of teen confidence. And then from the heart of my teenage self, I have a list of 5 ways I wish adults had instilled confidence in my life.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

 

Here we go…

From the time I was 12 years old until I was in my early twenties, I struggled with my own self confidence and self esteem. I can remember my parents enrolling me in summer day camps with names like “Girl Power” to help me learn strategies on how to increase my feelings of self worth.

I had babysitters that would often show me magazines with photos of lots of beautiful celebrities and sometimes we would watch music videos. I put the pictures

teen confidence

Photo by Charisse Kenion on Unsplash

from the magazines on my walls, like most girls my age did. We didn’t have social media back then but I still compared myself to the images of perfectionism that I saw.

Throughout my teenage years, I became obsessed with fashion. I always had to stand out from the other kids in school, to have the newest styles. In a way I was expressing my creativity, because I’ve always loved art and beauty. I also liked experimenting and trying out different identities. But in another way, I had become materialistic and placed a lot of pressure on myself to look a certain way and to be praised and approved by others. I wasn’t accepting my true self- I was often changing things about my appearance in order to make others notice me.

It also wasn’t only my physical appearance, I struggled with accepting my own personality as well. I have always been shy and introverted, which has been difficult in such an extroverted world. I did not feel like I fit in. I felt a huge pressure by society to act more outgoing and social and another huge pressure to fit into the stereotypical ideal of beauty by wearing fashionable clothes and using makeup. The behavior of the women in my life also influenced me, when I saw them not leaving their house without makeup on.

With all this being said, I wish I had known some strategies to change my inner voice which was constantly telling me I wasn’t good enough as I was. For parents of female identifying teens, here are five tips you can use to help your daughter’s confidence grow:

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

teen confidence

Photo from Canva Pro

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

 

5 Ways Parents Can Boost Teen Confidence

Teen Confidence Tip #1 – Encourage your daughter to try new things and take risks.

Parents want the best for their children, and to keep them safe. However, by giving your daughter some freedom, she is able to take risks that will build confidence. If she wins, you can praise her and if she fails, you can commend her for being so brave. Ultimately, my confidence skyrocketed in my mid twenties when I decided to stop listening to others, and to travel solo after a breakup.

Teen Confidence Tip #2 – Encourage your daughter to stop caring what other people think (and discourage people-pleasing behaviours)

This one’s really a game changer for me because I’ve always had people-pleasing tendencies. I realized that by listening to what others think I should do in my life, I was really allowing them to control me– which in turn inhibited my freedom and true happiness because I was not being true to myself or following my intuition. The reality is, there will always be people that like you and people that don’t, no matter what– and that’s okay.

Teen Confidence Tip #3 – Praise your daughter for qualities other than her appearance

I can speak a lot about this one from experience. I became addicted to receiving compliments about my appearance and it seemed like more and more I was trying to chase perfection so that I could be deemed as valuable and needed by others. Of course it’s great to give compliments on appearance but it should not be the only thing she is receiving compliments on. Instead, make a conscious effort to focus on the things she is doing for the world.

Teen Confidence Tip #4 – Be careful about the media she is consuming.

Be conscious of the magazines around the house and the types of TV shows that you have on. After 15 minutes of looking at a fashion magazine, their mood is shown to shift from enthusiasm to comparing and negative self talk. I am sure the same goes for social media, so encourage her to limit her time spent on it. Help her realize that social media is not reality, and neither are the photoshopped magazines.

Teen Confidence Tip #5 – Notice the type of behaviour you are modeling.

Avoid making any sort of negative self-talk, putting down your own appearance or making it mandatory that you must wear makeup before you go out. Avoid saying insulting things about your own personality. Instead teach self acceptance, and how she doesn’t need material things to make her more beautiful. For fathers, don’t treat her as though she is helpless and should rely on a man to do things for her. She is capable of doing stereotypically “masculine” activities, like mowing the lawn

or yard work.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

 

Together, by taking the time to reflect on this topic we can shift society’s expectations. We can stop looking outward for our inner happiness. By loving ourselves first, we can become more compassionate, empathetic and generous towards others. In my mid-twenties, I relearned what society taught me and began to think in a new light.

If you found this article helpful, you can continue the work with our blog article ‘3 Ways to Help Your Teen Stop Perfectionist Thinking‘.

Love,
Kari


 

raising a teen girl

10 Things to Avoid When Raising A Teen Girl

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a handbook for raising a teen girl? Unfortunately, no such handbook exists.

BUT if you want to develop a healthy and working relationship with your female identifying teen, read on.

After working with many teens and families as a Registered Social Worker, I have developed a list of 10 things to avoid doing.

raising a teen girl

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

 

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Here are 10 things you want to avoid while raising a teen girl:

  1. Don’t snoop (i.e going through your teen’s phone). That’s boundary trespassing. (You can still set internet rules, though. Read our blog to learn how: ‘4 Tips To Setting Internet Rules for Teens‘).
  2. Not giving your teens the privacy they need when out with friends.
  3. Not hearing and listening to your teen when they try to talk to you.
  4. Not compromising and negotiating and having rigid boundaries.
  5. Coming from a ‘your way or the highway’ style of parenting.
  6. Don’t be fast to talk when you need to listen to understand (e.g interrupting and trying to multitask when they are trying to engage with you).
  7. Don’t take anything teens do personally, I mean they are trying to find themselves and are in transitioning stages… Come on, what was your behaviour like as a teen?
    raising a teen girl

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  8. Teens don’t want to be talked to as little kids, allow them some independence and ability to make informed decisions.
  9. Don’t force them to engage in things or activities you prefer as a parent or leave up to your dreams and aspirations, this might result in pressure and inability to cope and can often lead to mental health challenges.
  10. Don’t compare your teen to other teens, especially their peers.

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

 

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

 

One thing you WANT to do, is ensure you and your daughter have a lot of support during this time.

It takes a community to raise a child 🧡

Through Pyramid Psychology (soon to be known as ‘Unbreakable Teen Me’), I offer private therapy sessions for female identifying teens, which include support for YOU in-between sessions.

I support adolescents in Alberta ranging from 11 to 21 years old. You can book a free consultation with me here:

I Want Support for My Daughter Now

 

Love,

Chipo

Register Social Worker offering counseling for female identifying teens (11-21 years old)

 


I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

mentor

8 Reasons Your Teen Daughter Needs A Mentor

8 Reasons Your Teen Daughter Needs A Mentor

mentor

Photo by Kevin Laminto on Unsplash

Having a teen mentor is crucial for teen girls. I will share 8 reasons why shortly.

But first, dear most amazing parents of teen girls, I am going to ask you a really important question: 

When you think back to your teen years, who are the people that had the strongest positive impact on your life? 

You might be thinking about that teacher who wouldn’t give up on you, your older cousin who understood everything you were going through, the no-nonsense coach who pushed you to do better, or your best friend’s mom who always showed you the utmost kindness. 

Maybe you didn’t have a person directly in your life, so you looked to those you didn’t know personally; an author, actor, philosopher, artist, musician, athlete…..

One of those people for me was my Uncle. There was nothing particularly exceptional about what he did, it was more of a feeling. When I was around him, I felt seen. I felt important. I felt loved. Thinking of him now puts a massive smile on my face. I remember his qualities of kindness, warmth, and adventure. And, what a sense of humour! His wit was worth admiring in my books. 

Even though he died when I was in my teens, I still see him as one of my best mentors. 

mentor

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

How did the person you thought of make a positive difference in your life? Do you remember what they said or did for you that made an impact? Is it more of a memory on how their being in your life made you feel?

When I look back at the impact my Uncle had and still has on my life, I realize just how exceptional it was. I strive to live out the qualities he modeled. The relationships we have in our teenage years have the potential to change the course of our lives. 

Reggie Nelson and Jessica Hurley are two wonderful anecdotes of how powerful mentors can be for teens. 

So one more question for you….. Who is your daughter’s teen mentor? 

8 Reasons Your Teen Daughter Needs A Mentor:

  • Helps your teen daughter believe in herself and the possibilities for her life
  • Gives your daughter a person to go to for advice and guidance
    mentor

    Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

  • Creates hope (when your daughter doesn’t feel alone)
  • Builds long term trusted friendships to help your teen daughter through the ups and downs 
  • Supports your daughter to develop her identity
  • Opens doors to new ways of thinking (and new opportunities) for your daughter
  • Provides a way for your teen daughter to practice social + conversational skills, and build conflict resolution skills
  • Provides your teen daughter with a model for qualities and characteristics 

So, I ask again. Who is your daughter’s mentor? Someone who is a champion of her life – cheerleading and rooting for her no matter what. Somebody she sees as a trusted guide, who is consistent. Someone who sees her.

 

If you didn’t immediately know the answer, I encourage you to talk to your daughter. Ask her who she looks up to, admires, or reaches out to for help. Ask her if she needs more support; someone in her corner.

mentor

Photo by Frank Leuderalbert on Unsplash

It’s really important to take ego out of the equation, and recognize that teen girls often need support outside of their immediate family (goodness knows I wanted someone other than my parents as a teen, haha)!

At Unbreakable Teen Me, we offer a safe space for your daughter to have a teen mentor. A woman she can look up to, go to for advice, and build her skills with. You can get to know any of our team members HERE (simply scroll to the bottom of the page).

When your daughter has chosen a potential teen mentor (therapist) she resonates with most, you can book a completely free consultation (Alberta, Canada residents) to ensure it’s a good fit. You can book your consultation with any of our team members here:

Find Your Daughter's Mentor Today

 

Love,
Chantal

 


Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

volunteering for teens

Volunteering for Teens: The Benefits, Barriers, and How-To’s

Volunteering for Teens: The Benefits, Barriers, and How-To’s

This blog will share the benefits, barriers, and how to’s when it comes to volunteering for teens.

As a teen, you can sometimes feel lonely or find it hard to connect with other people. Sometimes you want to make friends but find it challenging to meet people who we connect with. Sometimes you want more ties to people in your neighbourhood or city, but you don’t know where to start.  

One way to build community connections is by volunteering your time to a cause that you feel connected to. 

10 Benefits to In-Person Volunteering for Teens

  • Making friends and creating strong relationships 
  • Finding a mentor
  • Creating a sense of belonging  
  • Gaining confidence 
  • Increasing your emotional and physical well-being  
  • Having fun  
  • Expanding your social skills  
  • Feeling less isolated 
  • Learning hard and soft skills 
  • Future job reference 
volunteering for teens

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4 Perceived Barriers to Volunteering for Teens (and what to do about them):

#1 – I don’t have time. 

Surprisingly, volunteering time can make you feel as though you have more time. Studies show that when you give your time, you feel less time-constrained because you will learn how to manage your time better. (Also, since you spend this time developing ourselves it feels less like a task on our to-do list.)

#2 – I’m scared to meet new people.  

If you are with a group of people, pick one person that you would like to chat with and try to get to know them. After a while, focus your energy and time with a few more people and see how you feel. Continue to check in with yourself to see how you are feeling. Give yourself permission to step away if you are feeling overwhelmed or give yourself permission to continue talking to people if you’re feeling okay.  

Remember that going outside your comfort zone and feeling a bit uncomfortable is okay (as long as your safety is not at risk). You may soon learn how to walk toward the unknown. The more you can develop this skill the more you will train your mind to have greater psychological flexibility.

#3 – I don’t know what I am interested in.  

You may be pleasantly surprised that you know more about yourself than you think you do! Consider creating a list of things that you already enjoy doing and the soft and hard skills that you want to learn. Revisit the list after a day or so and write down what stands out to you. 

The fun part of volunteering is exploring and discovering what you like and do not like. Finding a volunteer opportunity that is the right fit is like finding your way on a hiking trail. The more you try, the better you get at

volunteering for teens

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navigating the trail and anticipating what comes next.

#4 – I don’t know where to start.  

Think of this as a process and focus less on the result. You may start to notice the fun that comes with exploring and testing things out.

Working through these questions can sometimes be easier with someone else. In private sessions with me, we can work through your choice to volunteer and the potential barriers or fears that may come up as a result. Alberta residents can book a free consultation with me here:

Book A Free Consultation

 

The next section provides tips on how to go about starting to find a volunteer opportunity. 

Volunteering for Teens: How To Find The Right Opportunity

It can take a few attempts before finding a volunteering opportunity that is right for you. Think of this as if you’re on a trip and exploring the things around you. The community is your playground, and you are the explorer. 

There are many ways to explore on your journey towards finding a volunteer opportunity and making community connections: online (ex. VolunteerConnector.org), your current friend/family networks, school billboard or

teacher, calling organisations that interest you, social media, etc. 

Considerations to Volunteering for Teens:

1. Communicate with your parents – Sometimes parents have great ideas and can support our efforts!

volunteering for teens

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2. Your personal values –  Seek opportunities and organisations that align with your personal values. If you need help with exploring your personal values Brene Brown’s list of values could get you started.

3. Social diversity and inclusivity – Ask yourself, does the organisation seek to create an environment that allows volunteers from all walks of life to succeed and meaningfully contribute? Is the organisation inclusive of diversity – race, socioeconomic status, gender, sexuality, abilities, etc.?

Learning the value of diversity, understanding different perspectives and life experiences, and working with people who have different ideas have many benefits. It helps us learn more about ourselves and our community, understand how to relate to others who a different from ourselves, and much more.

4. Your interests and volunteer goals – See above for practical tips.

5. Time commitment and location – Is the location accessible to you? Is it close to your home or school? Will you be driving, getting a ride, or taking the bus?  These are all important factors to take into account.

6. Schedule and frequency Do the volunteer shifts align with your schedule or does this overlap with other commitments? Is the frequency of the volunteer opportunity in line with the time you have available?

 

Volunteering for Teens in Calgary, Alberta:

volunteering for teens

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If you are in Calgary, hundreds of organisations in our city are looking for volunteers. Here are a couple of organisations that are looking for teen volunteers: 

Volunteering is a great way to build relationships in your community. It has been something that I have engaged in throughout my life and have benefited so much from! It’s helped me to create strong friendships, learn more about myself, and build strong community connections.

You do not have to navigate friendships, community, and volunteering by yourself. That is what I am here for! I offer affordable therapy ($40 per session) in Calgary, Alberta (online appointments available to Alberta residents). If you’re ready to create community, let’s chat:

Book Your Free Consultation

Let me know how your journey is going and if you have any questions! 

Fazilah Shariff MSW, MHA, RSW

 

 

 


Is your teen having challenges navigating their current circumstances? Do you want your teen to obtain the skills and tools they need to navigate the peaks and valleys that come their way?

Are you looking for someone who can support your teen to step into their spotlight, have great relationships, and find their confidence? I speak teen. My strength is connecting with and relating to teenagers. I strive to provide a balance of learning and laughter during my sessions. Teens need a coach and therapist who they can trust to talk to about the hard stuff in their lives.

I work with teens from a range of life experiences and backgrounds. My specialities include working with teens who identify as BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of colour) and/or LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and more).

I have a Master of Social Work and a Master of Health Administration. I am also a Registered Social Worker. I have worked across the healthcare sector and served on numerous boards of directors for not-for-profit organizations.