01 Sep

Anxiety, Emotions, For Parents, Teen Joy

The Impact of Test Pressure for Teen Girls

September 25, 2023
By admin

The Pressure on Teens to Achieve

Last June, one of my clients, a teen girl was telling me if her grades dropped below a certain mark, it would ruin her whole summer and the thought of writing her upcoming exam made her feel sick… I’ve been thinking a lot about her, as teen girls are re-entering the school year and feeling the pressure of another year. It is a stress so severe that it paralyzes the brightest young people I know. And I see it all too often.

And usually, I write from the perspective of offering tips and ideas. Today, I’m writing more of a reflective piece.

The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

I have more questions than answers.

I’m not talking about the feel-goods that come with accomplishments or natural stresses associated with performance. I’m seeing the burden of pressure and high demands that teen girls carry on the rise. And it’s enough to make the strongest humans collapse.

Photo from Canva Pro

Why are our teens obsessing over results? Why are her survival mechanisms, the ones meant to keep her safe from serious threat, kicking into full gear when it comes to taking a test or handing in a paper?

They tell me it is not because someone expects them to get high-achieving results. (I mean it is a factor of not wanting to disappoint or let someone down). But for many, it is a self-imposed expectation. One that is placed at such a high value that if it is not met, it feels devastating.

Is this something that has gotten worse over time? In recent years, we have had a lot of distressing things come to light that have probably left many teens feeling like their lives are out of control. And when there is chaos, finding ways to gain a sense of control is a natural response. Taking control of how often you study, what grades you can achieve, what results you can pump out has probably become a focal point for some.

What kind of messages are we sending as a society about achievement? In a world of many opportunities, could it be incredibly naïve to think there wouldn’t be consequences? Having endless options brings along its own set of problems and pressures.

How are teen girls measuring their worth? External validation based on a number…. Holding onto labels like precious cargo, “The Golden Child”, “She’s so smart”, “School is easy for her”.

What measuring stick does she use to know her value in this world?

How do we as helpers, parents, society, nurture messages that encourage youth to thrive and put in solid effort in what they do without creating a generation whose identities are so tied up in (academic) achievement or getting it right. It’s worth questioning.

When I ask myself questions like this, I immediately look at the work I do for teens every day. What am I doing to guide teen girls in this world?

Photo from Canva Pro

The answer?

To create and build on their own resilience skills, from the inside out.

If teen girls are self-imposing high expectations for their grades and exams, it only makes sense (to me) that they be taught to recreate those expectations internally.

The Happiness Pill is a 6-week group coaching experience I created to do exactly that.

While building community with other teen girls just like them, your daughter will learn how to feel confident from the inside out – regardless of her grades or exam results. She will learn how to navigate big emotions like anxiety and depression. And she will also walk away with skills to deal with the social pressure of making friends, fighting off bullies, and staying true to herself.

We start our next round in mid October 2023, with early bird pricing on until September 30th. Get all the details and register HERE.

Love,

Chantal
Psychologist, Teen Life Coach, and Founder of Pyramid Psychology

The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

28 Jul

Emotions, For Parents, Friendships, Relationships

4 Depression Tips for Teen Girls

August 13, 2023
By admin

4 Depression Tips for Teen Girls

I am going to share 4 depression tips for teen girls, to help turn things around for you.

But first, I want to explain something… A theme in dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) is that emotions love themselves. What does this mean, exactly?

Well, if you are feeling down and depressed, you are going to naturally want to do things that actually keep you feeling that way (or even make the feeling stronger!). For example, if you are feeling down, then you are likely to withdraw from others, maybe spend a lot of time in bed, or start listening to sad music.

As another example, if you are feeling angry, then you may have an urge to get into an argument with someone, slam doors, or even break something.

Teen Mental Health Handbook

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

When it comes to depression for teen girls, the feelings can be really strong, and motivation can be pretty low. Becoming more aware of how feelings of depression may end up leading to stronger feelings of depression is important to understand, because then we can start see how we can get stuck in a negative spiral. Here are a few tips to keep in mind if you are a teen struggling with depression!

4 Depression Tips for Teen Girls:

Try to have some kindness and compassion for yourself. Judging yourself harshly for having certain feelings or struggling to complete certain tasks only makes things worse. What might you say to a good friend who is struggling with depression? What would it look like for you to accept some of this advice?
Try to be curious about your emotions. Context matters, and our emotions are trying to tell us something and influence our actions. If
Photo by Domingo Alvarez E on Unsplash

you are feeling depressed, how would you be able to tell the difference between genuinely needing some time alone versus getting stuck in an emotion-loving-loop of withdrawal? Emotions do not like to be ignored, and spending some time being mindful and curious can help us choose our next step. (If you’d like help naming your emotions, here is a printable emotions wheel).
Sticking with the DBT theme, a strategy I sometimes introduce in my sessions is called the “opposite-action”. So, if you were feeling down or depressed, and the actions you were naturally drawn to were to withdraw or isolate, what would an opposite action look like? For some, it may be reaching out to a friend, or going for a walk, or practising self-care like taking a shower. What could it look like for you?
Make your next step so attainable that it is almost impossible to refuse. Sometimes we can get stuck by wanting everything to change at once, which is a good way to feel overwhelmed and keep the negative spiral going. What is one, small thing you can change today?

These are only a few ideas that come to mind to support you if you are struggling with depression – there are so many more resources out there.

The first way to start is to know that change is possible!

The second is to know you are not alone. There is support for you. START HERE TO GET HELP WITH DEPRESSION.

Love, Jessa

EMDR Certified and Registered Psychologist serving Alberta teens and young adults with Pyramid Psychology.

PS – Anxiety often goes hand in hand with depression. If you are experiencing anxiety, you can learn some valuable tips with our blog article: Anxiety and Choice.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Jessa is a registered, EMDR certified psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

21 Jul

Confidence, Emotions, For Teens

10 Inner Power Affirmations for Teen Girls

August 3, 2023
By admin

10 Inner Power Affirmations for Teen Girls

With these 10 inner power affirmations for teen girls, you can empower yourself in all things friendship, community, and relationships.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

10 Inner Power Affirmations for Teen Girls

black girl writing teen affirmations in her journal

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

I am worthy of meaningful and healthy relationships.
I will do my best to cultivate healthy and meaningful relationships.
I deserve relationships where I can be my authentic self, without performance. Or pretence.
I am worthy as I am by just being me. My human worth is unmeasurable.
No one can be me and that is my superpower.
I will strive for consistency over perfection in my relationships with others.
I am deserving of the same level of compassion I give others.
I am my oldest friend and will do better in caring for myself.
I allowed being more than one thing. There are many parts to my existence—all matter.
I am abundance in human form. I have a ton of love that can go around.

Take the affirmations that resonate with you, and read/say them to yourself as often as you need!

Keep the list and review it regularly as well. The ones that resonate will likely change as your life does.

And, when you’re ready, you can add a gratitude practice to your affirmations. Teen Happiness: The Science Behind Teen Gratitude is an article (written by my colleague here at Pyramid Psychology) to help you get started!

And if you’d like support creating your own affirmations or gratitude practice for your personal situation, book a free consultation with me. I am a Registered Social Worker supporting teen girls like YOU to love themselves from the inside out. Affirmations are a great first step!

Love,

Chipo

Register Social Worker offering counseling for teen girls (11-21 years old)

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

07 Jul

Emotions, For Parents, Friendships, Relationships

5 Ways to Beat Summer Break Boredom for Teens

July 24, 2023
By admin

When it comes to the school break and the boredom that settles in over the summer, it can be helpful to see it as an opportunity to do something completely different. The good news about summer break is that if you try something new and find out it’s not for you, you will be back to school in September anyways!

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

teen girl feeling nervous over summer break

Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash

Speaking for myself, it can be really easy to talk myself out of doing things. I have also heard similar thoughts from the teens and young adults that I work with:

“I might not like it…”

“It sounds kinda weird…”

“I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“I wouldn’t be very good at that.”

“I don’t have time for it.”

“I don’t want to commit to something I may not enjoy.”

(If this sounds like you – trust me, having someone by your side can make a world of difference! Book a free consultation with me to help keep you accountable to trying new things, and work out a plan to overcome your fears).

The list of reasons to not do something can go on and on.

With having no school, the reality is that you DO have time to try out new things. The new thing might be “weird”, but you might enjoy it or enjoy parts of it. You also don’t have to be good at it because that’s not the point.

What is the point? Well, that depends on the person. Maybe it is to learn more about yourself and to find new sparks. Maybe trying new

teen girl trying stretching over summer break

Photo by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash

things feels scary and you are proving to yourself that you can step outside of your comfort zone. Or maybe it is just a willingness to try, experience, and be open-minded to what the world has to offer.

That’s why the summer months can be the perfect opportunity to try out something new and completely different than what the rest of the year may look like. The popular saying “you don’t know until you try” exists for a reason. In trying something different, you may even be surprised at how much you enjoy it!

Trying something new can look completely different for different people. Here are a few ideas to get the brain juices flowing, but it is not an exhaustive list.

5 Ways to Beat School Break Boredom

#1 – Be a tourist in your city

I like this idea. There is so much that Calgary (and Alberta) has to offer, whether it is visiting typical tourist spots, supporting local businesses, or getting out to the mountains. Write down a bucket list of things you want to check out and be intentional with crossing off some of those items. Involving friends and family can also be a lot of fun.

#2 – Volunteer or find a part-time job

There are a lot of benefits to both volunteering and working part-time. These experiences can teach new skills and independence, and volunteering in particular can improve overall wellbeing.

Photo from Canva Pro

#3 – Slow down

Our society can be very go-go-go. Taking some time to slow down, self-reflect, and enjoy simple pleasures can be a new experience for a lot of teens. For some, this looks like journaling, but it doesn’t have to be. If journaling sounds interesting to you, here’s a fun website with 61 journal prompts. You can also use prompts as conversation starters with other teens, or people in your family!

#4 – Try a completely different hobby

As a few examples, if you like sports, it could be fun (or at least interesting!) to try out something artistic or creative. If you like social media and video games, maybe you could try something outdoors or more active. Other options could include cooking, something crafty, re-finishing projects, learning about a new topic, and so much more.

#5 – Take an existing interest to the next level

As a few examples:

If you love animals, consider volunteering at the Calgary Humane Society or one of the numerous organizations in the city dedicated to animal welfare.
Photo of the Pyramid Psychology office in Calgary, Alberta
If fashion is an interest, maybe learn to sew or volunteer with an organization that helps others learn to sew.
If you like sports, there may be summer camps or clubs that run throughout the summer to help further develop those skills.

One of the things I help teens with, is coming up with things they’d like to try over school break. Together, we work out what you’d like to try, possible blockages in the way (like fears coming up), and the logistics of trying something new. If you’d like the support, book a free consultation with me here (Alberta youth age 11 – 21).

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

There are so many options to look into depending on your interests. What your interests are, your mindset, and your choices can all make a big difference. Summer does not have to be boring. It really can be quite the opposite!

And, if you’re a teen with anxiety, summer can often be even harder. Here is a blog written by our Founder, Chantal, with 10 ways parents can help anxious teens enjoy their summer.

It is normal to want human interaction, and to get support, when you are trying something new. Consistent appointments with a therapist (like me) can give you a strong foundation to feeling confident, getting out of your comfort zone, and overcoming fears. Book a free consultation with me here.

Love, Jessa

Jessa is a registered psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

30 Jun

Anxiety, Confidence, Emotions, For Parents

10 Ways to Help Your Anxious Teen Enjoy Summer Break

July 3, 2023
By admin

10 Ways to Help Your Anxious Teen Enjoy Summer Break

I’m writing this blog because the other day I really had to take time to step into my client’s shoes. Summer break has always been a time that I’ve looked forward to. A time when I associate sunny days, adventure, freedom, and fun.

But as this 14-year-old tear-filled girl looked back at me, describing the stress of not having her friends around, being alone most of the time because of working parents, and loathing the idea of being stuck for hours on end with nothing to do, it gave me a glimpse into the reality that summer break is not all ice cream and butterflies.

(If this sounds like your daughter – here is an article I wrote just for her last year: 5 Practical Ways to Take Control of Your Happiness).

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

If you have a teen daughter who:

Really thrives on routine
Seems nervous or on edge right now and it has nothing to do with how her school grades were
Struggles to initiate and put together plans with friends outside of school

She might be dreading summer.

10 Ways to Help Your Anxious Teen Enjoy Summer

#1 – Find Free Fun

Finding free fun. If you’re in a town or city, there’s usually a lot going on during the summer months. Checking ahead of time with your local library, city events sites, or even platforms like Eventbrite and Facebook will offer you loads of different and low-cost/free options (e.g. festivals, concerts, free library programming, etc.)

#2 -Try Something New Each Week

Trying something new each week. Novelty breathes excitement into life and teenage brains are designed to seek it more than at any age. Don’t know where to start on figuring out new things to try? Check out this article.

Photo from Canva Pro

#3 – Get Friends’ Contact Info

Get friend contact information (and parents if appropriate) ahead of time. Depending on your daughter’s age and skill level on planning and organizing, a little support from a loving parent may be a game changer. Little reminders and encouragement to make sure they can be in touch with friends through the summer can be helpful. Or even helping them to organize their first couple outings with friends outside of school.

#4 – Summer Camp

Summer camps. I know. Your teen may straight out balk at this idea. Other teens love them. Part of the secret to summer camp success is the fit. Try matching based on interest or attending with a friend to make this option a real success.

#5 – Stick to A Routine

Staying up late and sleeping in is almost a quintessential part of summertime. But throwing routine completely out the window for 2 months is a recipe for exhaustion and bad moods. Encourage a summertime routine that continues to include rest, movement, and health hygiene.

Group of teens volunteering over summer break.

Photo by Canva Pro

#6 – Find Volunteer or Paid Opportunities

Line up some volunteer or paid opportunities. Even if it’s just a few hours a week, doing something that grows a skill, helps others, or puts money in her pockets is sure to be uplifting. If you’re in Calgary, Alberta you can check out Volunteer Connector HERE. You can also reach out to your YMCA, local churches, pools, libraries, neighbours and drum up some opportunities.

#7 – Make a Summer Bucket List

Make a Summer Bucket List. This is a fun family activity. Everyone puts down things they would like to do throughout the summer and a list is created. You can decide if it’s “pick one random each week” or “each family member gets a week where they choose the activity of their choice and all the other members participate”. You can get really creative with these and they are sure to make cool memories.

#8 – Travel

Travel. I know this can get expensive really quickly. If travelling abroad or taking a plane is just not an option for you right now, travel can be a 45-minute drive out to the mountains, a bike ride to a location in the city that you have never been to before, or a fun little day trip to a unique place of interest near your town or city. Did you know there’s a gopher museum? Check it out!

#9 – Learn A New Skill

Learn a new skill. Mastering or getting better at something is so rewarding. Whether it’s summer or another season. There are so many options: Learning to play an instrument, ride a horse, make jewelry, dance, make a piece of clothing, cook, build a toolbox, martial arts, grow a garden, crotchet, start a business, just to name a few.

#10 – Exercise and Movement

Photo by lisboa ind. on Unsplash

Exercise and movement. Staying active is a great way to release happy making natural chemicals into your body and brain, as well as lower

stress. It can also be a nice way to connect with others. Getting a Y membership for the summer or signing up for a class might be the way to go. Or maybe it’s more walking, hiking, biking, swimming that also ensures Vitamin D doses.

BONUS TIP:

Many teens won’t talk to you, their parent, about their anxieties over summer break. Offering your daughter a neutral person to talk to, and set summer goals with, can be extremely helpful to her mental health. I have gathered a powerful team of therapists in the Pyramid Psychology family who have room for more teen clients this summer. You can meet my team – Jessa, Chipo & Tara – as well as book a free consultation here:

I want summer break help for my teen!

Here’s to making your anxious teen daughter’s summer break something she’ll be excited to tell her friends about in the summer.

Love,

Chantal

Psychologist, Teen Life Coach, and Founder of Pyramid Psychology

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

23 Jun

Confidence, Emotions, For Teens, Self Image & Body Image, Self-Compassion

4 Questions to Separate Teen Self-Worth from Exam Results

June 27, 2023
By admin

Teen self-worth, self-esteem, self-what?

It is exam time for many of the teens that I have the privilege of working with, and many, like you, are feeling some level of stress or anxiety about studying and what final grade they will end up with. There is certainly a healthy level of stress that can motivate you to study, work hard, and perform better on tests (check out the Yerkes-Dodson Law!). For others, however, the stress and anxiety can be so high that it starts to feel debilitating.

If you are experiencing these high levels of stress yourself, it can be helpful to look at both practical strategies and explore deeper-level factors. As some of my lovely colleagues have already written blogs providing practical tips and tools, in this blog I’ll focus on something else: self-worth.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

When I say self-worth, I mean that deep sense of knowing you have inherent value and are worthy of respect no matter what. It is not influenced by the grade you got. It is not impacted by athletic ability or creativity. It does not depend on any personal beliefs you may hold.

Photo by
Ömer Haktan Bulut

And it’s certainly not impacted by what others may be saying or not saying at school. Self-worth is a part of who you are. It is not dependent on what you do.

For teens who are struggling during exam time, I am often curious to hear what they have to say about the idea of teen self-worth.

Do the grades of others define their worth? (“No!”)
Do you treat classmates differently depending on what grades they are getting in school? (“No”)
Do your grades define your worth as a human being? (“…no”)

Hmmm… interesting!

Even when teens can answer these questions, they often say that it still feels like their worth is dependent on their grades. That feeling is a hard thing to shake, especially after so many years of positive reinforcement from that good feeling we get when we get a good grade in school. Just because we feel a certain way, however, it does not make it true. Untrue thoughts are known as thinking traps. My mentor and the Founder of Pyramid Psychology wrote a blog on thinking traps HERE.

I can sit here and type out what I think about self-worth, but in truth, this topic will be significantly more meaningful to you if you spend some time reflecting. Here are a few ideas to think about, journal on, or even explore with someone you know:

4 Journal Questions to Separate Your Teen Self-Worth from Exam Results

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

What is the difference between who I am and what I do? How do academics and grades fit into this?
What is self-worth, what is self-esteem, and what may be different between the two concepts?
What feedback am I using to inform how I see myself? Are these sources true, helpful, or accurate?
Am I letting feedback, such as grades or what other people think, impact my deeper sense of self-worth?

It can be disappointing when we get lower grades than we are hoping for. In taking time to think about some of these ideas, I hope that the disappointment is directed at the grade and does not turn inward to negatively affect your self-worth. Your self-worth does not depend on your grades.

If you find yourself struggling with teen self-worth, or connecting your worth to exam results, I want you to know you aren’t alone.

I offer 1:1 support to work through these emotions and build strategies for the future. You can book a free consultation with me HERE (for teens in Alberta, Canada).

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

As a bonus question, you may find it helpful to know that in my sessions with teens, concerns about “trauma dumping”, people pleasing, and avoiding (healthy) conflict often come up. How might these concerns fit into the concept of healthy boundaries?

If starting this conversation with your teen brings up more questions, we would love to hear from you!

You can email our team with next steps at info@pyramidpsychology.com

Love, Jessa

Jessa is a registered psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

09 Jun

Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens, Teen Joy

Teen Test Anxiety: 8 Simple Ways Parents Can Help

March 26, 2024
By admin

8 Simple Ways Parents Can Help Teens with Test Anxiety

Well, it looks like it is that time of year again – text anxiety is back!

End of a school year. And you know what that means, right? Tests! Lots of tests. The unfortunate reality of tests is the dreaded test anxiety that can sometimes go with it.

But its ok, we got you!

—————————————

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

Most often test anxiety is produced by the apprehension and pressure to do well on an evaluation. Test anxiety can show up in both physical (fight or flight) and mental (worry, about information recall). However, some anxiety is normal and can help one in a test while for others it can be debilitating. So, what can we do as parents to help support that test anxiety?

Here are 8 Ways Parents Can Help with Test Anxiety:

Photo from Canva Pro

Tip #1: Talk About It

Well, step one talk about the test with your teen, what is causing worry? Perhaps it’s the material, maybe it’s the setting? Has your teen studied the material; do they understand it?

Talk about the worry. Talking about it can help it become much smaller.

Tip #2: Visualize

Visualize the test day… What does your teen need to have to be prepared? Have them imagine walking into the test feeling positive and prepared to write it. Talk about the test with them and go through how they want the test to be, and how they want the outcome result to be.

Tip #3: Expectations

Talk about rational expectations. If your teen has not been present in class or is missing key components, they might not be able to get the grades they wish for. And that is ok, try to work through any catastrophizing thoughts they may have, and discuss the reality of the situation.

Tip #4: Mindfulness

Mindfulness, talk about being in the present moment with your teen, especially when they begin to feel overly anxious. Focus on one task at a time. Stay in the moment and with each thought that appears don’t judge it, just recognize that it is just a thought and let it go.

Photo from Canva Pro

Tip #5: Negative Self-Talk

Encourage your teen to practice replacing negative self-talk with more rational thoughts. Remind them to take a moment to acknowledge how far they have come and give themselves praise.

—————————————

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

Tip #6: Name Anxiety

Talk to your teen about naming their test anxiety. Naming it creates the idea that it exists outside of your teen, putting distance between them and their uncomfortable thoughts.

Photo from Canva Pro

Tip #7: Self-Care

As parents we really want to focus on the basics here as well – good sleep hygiene, a healthy diet, and the inclusion of some moderate to light exercise to keep healthy. Look at other stressors in your teens life and look to reduce anything for a bit to help take some of the pressure off.

Tip #8: Celebrate

Celebrate small achievements your teen makes along the way. Congratulate them on trying. Celebrate that they did something that was hard and uncomfortable. Cheer when they study.

Check out 5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun (blog written by a colleague in the Pyramid Psychology Family) to learn more ways to celebrate along the way.

Plan something for your teen to look forward to after their exams.

Take one of these tips at a time and implement them into life with your teen. You will be amazed at how much of a difference your support can make! (And you will feel less like you’re hopelessly watching on the outside, too).

Before I go, here is a BONUS TIP for your teen with exam anxiety! Offer for them to try a guided meditation the next time you’re driving them somewhere or there’s a quiet moment at home. Click here to listen to one I like.

Love,

Tara Aldie

Graduate Student in Counselling offering affordable counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old) online, and in person in Airdrie, Alberta

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada – $40 per session. Free consultation here.

—————————————

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

About Tara

Hello, my name is Tara, and I am a graduate student in counselling, I will be doing my practicum at Pyramid Psychology and I am very excited to practice all the skills I have learned as well as develop new relationships.

I have experience working with youth and teens and I also navigate parenting to four of my own kids. I tend to work with a solution focused, client centred and cognitive behavioural approach. I know that being a teen is tough, and sometimes are problems exasperated by social media and technology.

I struggled with fitting in as a teen, and I really felt that I didn’t belong. After years of soul searching and many personal ups and downs, I realized that my uniqueness was a strength. My goal is to help navigate through these difficult times while promoting self-discovery and personal strengths.

I understand that parents can often feel confused and left out of their teen’s life. I look to bridge the gap between these differences through positive communication. Teens need all the support they can get; the world and relationships can often seem crazy and unrelatable. I work to help bring closeness within existing supports and help develop and foster relationships.

With art, music, writing, play and movement we can work together to help promote self-discovery. I look forward to creating a positive and healing journey with you!

Book a free consultation with me here.

Serving teens in Alberta age 11-18, online or in person (Airdrie, Alberta).

02 Jun

Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens, Teen Joy

5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun

June 5, 2023
By admin

5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun

The stress caused by high school exams is real… Here are 3 practical ways to help you make the experience fun!

—————————————

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

Here are 5 ways to help make exams more fun:

Tip#1: Normalize exam stress

It’s important to note that exam season in itself is stressful, and can promote worry, and tension in relation to being in a test-taking situation.

Photo by Averie Woodard

It is normal to feel stress related to upcoming texts or exams which could also serve as a motivation to do your best, by being prepared. Could be tailored into “good stress”. Nonetheless, exam stress might as well trigger depression and anxiety, and affect your eating and sleeping habits. If exam pressure and the taking of the exam in itself starts to take over your life, it would best to let others know, so you can be best supported as needed.

Tip #2: Do what makes you happy.

Everyone has tools that help them cope in stressful situations. These could include but not limited to, taking breaks in between study sessions, listening to music, going for a walk, having a change of scenery, watching a YouTube video, watching your favourite show, or comedy, going through a bunch of memes, exercising, giving into your cravings, doodling and meditating.

Engaging in suitable self-care could help as well, such as ensuring you are eating regularly, and you are keeping up with your sleep hygiene patterns.

Tip #3: Talk about exam stress with your peers, classmates, and friends.

You might find that others might be experiencing or going through a similar range of emotions as you are during high school exams. They say, “a problem shared is a problem half solved”. This might not make you feel better but helps you understand that you are not alone. You have a tribe of other individuals experiencing similar things that you can actually relate too.

Also, you might learn one or two things that could be of help in assisting you cope.

If you find your peer group isn’t super helpful during high school exams, consider therapy as a place to de-stress. There doesn’t have to be anything majorly wrong to speak to a therapist – I am here to help! No judgment.

Alberta residents can book a free consultation call with me HERE. I offer both online and in-person appointments (Calgary).

Photo by Desola Lanre-Ologun on Unsplash

Tip #4: You could join or create a study group.

Working with and being a part of a study group could help boost your confidence in nailing your exams, by being able to practice exam questions together, get and share different perspectives on possible exam questions, laugh, cry together and hence build momentum to keep you going.

Tip #5: Understand that this is a learning experience.

Doing your best whatever that looks like is good enough.

If part of your stress around high school exams is what happens AFTER graduation, here is a helpful blog article by a colleague of mine: Teen Graduation: High School Graduation.

Love,

Chipo Bvindi

Registered Social Worker offering counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old)

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada. Free consultation here.

—————————————v

Teen Mental Health Handbook Cover

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

20 May

Emotions, For Parents, Friendships, Relationships

3 Questions for Parents to Ask About Teen Boundaries

May 20, 2023
By admin

There is a certain b-word that comes up frequently in my sessions: boundaries. Specifically, teen boundaries. Let’s figure out what they are, and how to discuss them with your teen!

At the core, boundaries are the lines that differentiate between things that are acceptable and unacceptable. In therapy, we explore the boundaries that are personal to the individual and are set within the context of relationships. Relationships in this context refer to any connection between two people, whether that is romantic, friendship, or family-based.

Personal boundaries vary between individuals and may also vary significantly across time and context. When thinking about boundaries there are many distinct aspects to consider, some examples being emotional boundaries, physical boundaries, temporal boundaries, and intellectual boundaries.

There is a visual about boundaries that I use from TherapistAid to explore boundaries with my teen clients, and I have included it below for your own use:

(You can go directly to TherapistAid and print the visual HERE.

I invite you to reflect or collaborate with your teen (or your parent, if you are a teen!) on the following questions:

Photo from Canva Pro

3 Questions for Parents to Help With Teen Boundaries

1) What relationships in my life may fall under porous boundaries, healthy boundaries, and rigid boundaries?

2) What are the impacts of these different types of boundaries? How do I feel in a rigid boundary relationship or a porous boundary relationship, in comparison to a healthy boundary relationship?

3) How can I move toward healthier boundaries, if I notice I may be using porous or rigid boundaries in my relationships?

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

As a bonus question, you may find it helpful to know that in my sessions with teens, concerns about “trauma dumping”, people pleasing, and avoiding (healthy) conflict often come up. How might these concerns fit into the concept of healthy boundaries?

If starting this conversation with your teen brings up more questions, we would love to hear from you!

You can email our team with next steps at info@pyramidpsychology.com

Love, Jessa

Jessa is a registered psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

29 Aug

Anxiety, Emotions, For Parents

How to Combat Anxiety – Part 4 of 4 Miniseries – Practical Ideas to Settle and Soothe- Visualization and Imagery

September 10, 2022
By admin

How can we use imagery and visualization to settle and soothe our minds and bodies from anxious, fearful, and negative thoughts?

Let’s continue the conversation on how to let our body and mind know, “thanks for keeping me on alert but I’m ok right now and I’ve got this”.

I wanted to be outdoors when recording, although I did sacrifice sound and video quality to some degree, I decided to go with it. Being outdoors is definitely my happy place and whenever I use guided imagery or visualization, some elements of nature always make their way in. Visualizing nature might also work for you or you might have some other things that really connect when it comes to using your imagination as a resource.

whenever I use guided imagery or visualization, some elements of nature always make their way in.

Photo by Canva

What is visualization and imagery?
Imagery or visualization involves using your imagination to help put your body and mind in a different state. In most cases, it is used to help create a more relaxed state but it can also help with things like focus and performance.

Imagining has the power to change brain activity

Photo by Canva

Our brains are pretty amazing. Connecting with our imagination and our thoughts is something that people are very interested in and that scientists have been increasingly researching especially in the fields of athleticism and mindfulness.

after an 8-week meditation program, the amygdala (brain’s smoke alarm) was less activated when exposed to emotional content

Photo by Canva

Research studying the brain of those who meditate or practice mindfulness on a regular basis have shown that brain activity changes during meditation. What’s even more interesting is that the changes that take place during meditation are maintained even when participants are not meditating. One study using FMRI (takes pictures of the brain and records brain activity) found that after an eight week meditation based program, the amygdala (our brain’s smoke alarm) was less activated when exposed to emotional content.

Why do we care to know this?!?!

Well the amygdala is like the brain’s smoke alarm, it alongside with other brain structures, take the stimulus we receive in the world and helps our brain (and body) decide what to make of it- is this a threat? Is this enjoyable? Do I need to freak out right now? So if research on the brain is telling us that our amygdala activation is changing that is important to a society that has more recently been living in the crux of perpetual anxiety. It means we can play an active role in helping ourselves out when it comes to upsetting thoughts and feelings and our response.

The thing is that the emotions of fear and anxiety are based in the memory of something that was scary or in the anticipation that something terrible might happen which, “triggers a habitual fear response…… even if there is no actual present-moment threat”.

Photo by Canva

The take away- it is VERY good to have a brain and body that can respond to threat when we are in ACTUAL danger AND it is even better if we can help that brain and body to become super efficient at sifting through what is actually a threat and what is not.

Photo by Canva

Another way that imagery and visualization has been researched is in the realm of athletics. Imagining doing an activity, like a sport, prior to actually doing the activity can help our brain remember the neural pathways needed for that physical activity. Athletes can use imagery and visualization to improve physical performance and to perform under pressure- Amazing!

So that’s pretty cool and speaks to the power of visualization and imagery, but before I digress any further let me bring us back to using visualization and imagery to settle and soothe our minds and bodies when we are flooded with anxious, fearful, or negative thoughts and feelings.

What I like to use when it comes to settling and soothing the mind and the body are visualizations such as containment, safe place or safe state imagery. The reason I like these in particular is because I find they are very effective at kicking in the parasympathetic system (rest and relax) and I can access them any time.

Container Visualization
This visualization focuses on creating some imagery of a container or vessel of sorts that can hold upsetting, painful, or difficult thoughts and feelings until you are ready to come back to them. This is great for in the moment settling of the mind and body. The idea here is that you can use your imagination to put difficult thoughts and feelings “on the shelf” temporarily to be able to focus again or continue on with your day, but that you can come back to them when you feel supported to do so.

Here is an example of a guided visualization that is about 7 minutes long.

Safe Place Visualization
Safe place visualization can be a great tool to respond to overwhelming moments. Sometimes the idea of a safe place may be difficult for a person to imagine. In particular if your experiences hold trauma or spaces that generally felt unsafe. I will always invite clients to consider that the space may be one they’ve been before, one they imagine they want to go to one day, or perhaps it is a completely imagery place. At the end of a safe place visualization, you can also imagine a word or phrase that might help bring your mind and body back to this more relaxed and settled state at another time. An alternative is to take a few moments after the visualization to draw, paint, or write about the place. This can help it to stay with us in a meaningful way to come back to at another time, if that feels like an option.

it is very good to have a brain and body that can respond to threat when we are in ACTUAL danger AND it is even better if we can help that brain and body to become super efficient at sifting through what is actually a threat and what is not.

A note on making it more meaningful-
Introducing and using visualization and imagery to help settle your mind and body comes with a few considerations. In my experience, they can be very effective as a one off. If you are needing something in the moment and don’t plan on using it again, it is ok to access this practice once and you may see that it is quite helpful.

Saying that, I think the more you practice, the more benefit you will get from it. Just like in those studies looking at the effects of meditation and imagery for athletics on the brain, the more we activate certain parts of the brain, the more efficient our brain becomes at lighting those areas up.

There may be some scripts that work better for you than others. There are lots of videos, books, blogs, apps and websites that offer so many different types of visualization and imagery scripts. Some are specific to theme, timing, or for specific areas of life (sports performance, addictions, anxiety, stress, etc). I would really encourage you to look at some different options and see what fits for you. On that note, the voice and the pace of guided visualizations are unique. Have a listen to the first few seconds of some guided visualizations and if you don’t like the voice or something is just not sitting well for you, try something different!

Here are some resources to consider checking out:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/imagery-basic-relaxation-script/
https://www.innerhealthstudio.com/imagery-and-visualization.html
https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/
https://www.developgoodhabits.com/best-mindfulness-apps/
https://www.mirecc.va.gov/cih-visn2/Documents/Patient_Education_Handouts/Visualization_Guided_Imagery_2013.pdf

Photo by Canva

If you found this post helpful, spread it by emailing to a friend or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook.

Happy imaginings!

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.