Anxiety, Confidence, Counselling, Emotions, For Parents, For Teens, Friendships, parenting teens, Relationships, Self Image & Body Image, Self-Compassion, Teen Joy

From Self-Doubt to Self-Discovery

04 Apr

From self-doubt to self-discovery: the happiness path (THP) transformation for teenage girlsFrom Self-Doubt to Self-Discovery: The Happiness Path (THP) Transformation for Teenage Girls

At first, it felt like nothing would change—constant overthinking, second-guessing every move, feeling stuck in jealousy and self-doubt. Maybe emotions felt too big to handle, or anxiety kept getting in the way of what could be fun. The pressure to fit in, to have it all figured out, to be enough—it was exhausting. But what if things could feel different?

Fast forward to today—more self-awareness, more confidence, and decisions that actually feel good. THP girls learn to challenge their self-talk, breathe through the stress, and take small (and REALLY BIG) powerful steps toward what they really want. “I’ve learned that I’m able to push myself out of my comfort zone,” one girl shared. Trying new things, speaking up, setting boundaries, and showing kindness (to themselves and others) isn’t just an idea—it’s actually happening. They’re encouraged to practice being at the edge of their comfort zone, and the results are clear: “I’ve started taking time to settle and breathe and use positive affirmations”. THP truly took her from self-doubt to self-discovery!

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

The biggest shift? They see their own strength. They recognize that they can handle tough emotions, that self-care isn’t selfish, and that growth happens one step at a time. THP isn’t just about feeling better in the moment—it’s about building lifelong roots of confidence and resilience. And for every girl who’s ever doubted herself? This is proof that change is possible.

Chantal Côté
Registered Psychologist & Teen Life Coach
Founder of Pyramid Psychology and The Happiness Path

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28 Mar
Anxiety, Confidence, Counselling, Emotions, For Parents, For Teens, Relationships, Uncategorized

From Feeling Alone to Connected

From Feeling Alone to Connected: Finding Your Way out of Loneliness

Sam scrolled through her phone for the twelfth time that night. She was watching her friends’ group chat light up with plans she wasn’t invited to. Maybe they don’t actually like me, she thought, her chest tightening. Lately, she’d felt invisible, surrounded by people all the time in the hallways at school and online in chats-  but it was like no one really saw her or cared if she was there. She wanted to reach out, but the fear of being rejected or bothering people kept her silent.

Feeling lonely can be overwhelming. No matter how lonely you feel, please know you’re not alone in this. So many teen girls experience the same thing—wanting deeper friendships but not knowing how to find them. Sometimes, the right people are closer than you think; it just takes the right space to learn how to connect. That’s why THP (The Happiness Path) was created—to bring girls together in a safe, supportive group where real friendships form and teens can start to feel confident to make new friends. After THP, teens can go from feeling alone to connected.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

In THP, girls like Sam learn how to build confidence in social situations, recognize their worth, and surround themselves with people who truly care. If you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong, THP can help you find the connections and confidence you’ve been looking for. You don’t have to do this alone—your people are out there, and this is your chance to find them.

With gratitude, 


Chantal Côté
Registered Psychologist & Teen Life Coach
Founder of Pyramid Psychology and The Happiness Path

28 Mar
Anxiety, Confidence, Counselling, Emotions, For Parents, parenting teens

Looking Beyond Self Doubt

Looking Beyond Self-Doubt: Helping Your Teen Find Her Brave

Watching your teenage daughter struggle with anxiety can be crushing. You want to protect her, to help her skip all the things that make her feel terrible and anxious. The secret is true confidence isn’t built by avoiding fear- it grows when she faces it, little by little. Whether it’s speaking up in class, making a new friend, or trying something new, every small step outside her comfort zone teaches her that she can handle discomfort—and that’s where real resilience begins to start looking beyond self doubt, helping your teen find her brave!

This process, called exposure, helps rewire the brain. The more she leans into challenges instead of avoiding them, the more she tips the scale of confidence in her favour, giving less power to anxiety. It won’t be easy at first, but the reward is worth it: self-trust, confidence, and the belief that she is stronger than her fears. That’s exactly what we do in THP (The Happiness Path)—helping teen girls take those steps in a supportive environment, surrounded by others doing the same.


>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

If your daughter struggles with self-doubt or fear, THP can help her find her brave, one step at a time. She doesn’t have to do it alone, and neither do you. Resilience isn’t about never feeling anxious—it’s about learning she has the power to move through it. And when she does? That’s when she realizes she’s capable of more than she ever imagined.

Chantal Côté
Registered Psychologist & Teen Life Coach
Founder of Pyramid Psychology and The Happiness Path

28 Mar
Anxiety, Confidence, Counselling, Emotions, For Parents, For Teens, parenting teens, Relationships, Uncategorized

How to Help Your Teen Become Brave

How to Help Your Teen Become Brave

Did you know your teen daughter is likely having thoughts that they might fail at the important things in life?—whether it’s school, friendships, or future plans. The pressure to succeed and meet expectations can leave them so stressed, anxious, and stuck in self-doubt. While your instinct might be to encourage them to push through or think about it as a necessary part of getting to the next part of their journey, a powerful yet often overlooked tool is learning to pause and be present in the moment- this can help your teen become brave.

The Happiness Path: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness  CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

 

Your Teen Can Become Resilient

Imagine guiding teen girls to tune into their thoughts, emotions, and surroundings, helping them break free from the cycle of replaying past events or constantly stressing over the future. When they practice mindfulness and self-awareness, they gain clarity and confidence. Instead of being consumed by “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, they can find space between the moment and their response. This grows their power to face challenges with a sense of “I can handle this” and focus. This shift not only eases their anxiety but also empowers them to make choices that align with what matters most to them, rather than just doing what they think they should do.

In our 6-week group program, The Happiness Path (THP), we dedicate week 2 to helping teenagers experience being present and practice in real-time with creative and fun exercises. By strengthening their ability to be present, your daughter can navigate life’s pressures with resilience and intention. They learn that failure isn’t something to fear—it’s part of growth. And more importantly, they begin to see that success isn’t just about meeting expectations but about building a future that feels meaningful and fulfilling to them. And that is how we can help your teen become brave!

Chantal Côté
Registered Psychologist & Teen Life Coach
Founder of Pyramid Psychology and The Happiness Path

28 Mar
Anxiety, Confidence, Counselling, Emotions, For Parents, For Teens, parenting teens, Self Image & Body Image, Self-Compassion, Uncategorized

Eliminate Negative Self Talk

How Teens Can Eliminate Negative Self Talk

Why Your Thoughts Aren’t Always True…

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “People don’t like me,” or “I’m not good enough for my friends”? You’re not alone. Many teen girls struggle with these thoughts, especially when dealing with feelings of anxiety, social pressure, or self-doubt. But here’s the truth—just because you think something doesn’t make it real. What do you see? 

Your brain sees things in a certain way and it can sometimes get stuck in thinking patterns that are harsh. Those thoughts aren’t facts. They’re just stories and patterned thoughts your mind tells you based on fear or past experiences.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

The good news? You can change the story to eliminate negative self talk. When negative thoughts pop up, try asking yourself: Is this 100% true? Would I say this to a friend? What’s a more realistic way to see this? Shifting your self-talk takes practice, but it’s possible. That’s one thing we we focus on in THP (The Happiness Path)—helping teen girls challenge self-doubt, build confidence, and create strong, supportive friendships. You don’t have to figure it out alone. If you’re ready to start believing in yourself and seeing your worth, you’re in the right place.

Chantal Côté
Registered Psychologist & Teen Life Coach
Founder of Pyramid Psychology and The Happiness Path

04 Mar
Anxiety, Emotions, For Parents, Self-Compassion, Uncategorized

When Your Teen Won’t Discuss Self-Harm

Discovering that your teen is self harming can be a really shocking experience. Moreover, you might be thinking: why would they do this to themselves? Or, don’t they see that I love and care for them?
Likewise, as a parent, your first instinct is to want to help your teen and to stop the harmful behavior. But, what happens when your teen won’t discuss self-harm? Firstly, I want to let you know that you are not alone and that this is a very common subject. 

1. Stay Calm and Approach with Compassion When Your Teen Won’t Discuss Self-Harm

Your teen is already dealing with overwhelming emotions. Because of this, the self harm acts as a way to help combat the overwhelming feelings and provide some relief. Therefore, they do not want you to project your negative emotions of fear, sadness, anger, shock, etc onto them. It is far more beneficial to approach from a place of calmness and compassion. So, try to empathize with your teen, and let them know you are there for them.
when your teen won't discuss self-harm

2. Create a Safe Space for Communication

Furthermore, let your teen know that you are not there to judge them. And, they may need time to come to a place where they are feeling ready to open up. So, give them that time to process things. Subsequently, most people can sense when a conversation feels forced, including your teen. Therefore, ensure that when the conversation happens, it is done when your teen feels safe and comfortable.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>to download our free self-soothe kit for self harm click here<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

3. Educate Yourself About Self-Harm

Meanwhile, it can help you provide better support when you’re aware of the full scope of what self harming entails, when your teen won’t discuss self-harm. However, it is not usually a suicide attempt, but more about relieving overwhelming emotions. Also, there are lots of books, and information on the internet related to this topic. Besides, we also have other blogs written in order to help educate you. For further reading on this topic related to self harm and why it happens in teens, click here!

4. Offer Alternative Ways to Express Emotions

There are many safer alternatives for relieving overwhelming emotions. Specifically, ice baths or cold showers can provide a similar feeling by shocking the nervous system, making your teen more adaptable to stress over time. Also, you could also suggest punching bags for overwhelming feelings of anger or rage. Additionally, crying or screaming into a pillow might also help. Some meditative options could be painting or drawing, or even something like dancing or lifting weights. Of course, having a session with a therapist or coach is a great place to express feelings and emotions. Essentially, suggest healthier options and see which one works best for your teen.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>to download our free self-soothe kit for self harm click here<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

when your teen won't discuss self- harm

5. Seek Professional Support When Your Teen Won’t Discuss Self-Harm

If your teen refuses to talk or their self-harm continues, consider reaching out to a professional. Such as: therapists, coaches, or support groups. These professionals can provide a safe and neutral environment for them to open up. In addition, let your teen know that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

6. When Your Teen Won’t Discuss Self-Harm, Check-In Without Pressuring

Although your teen doesn’t want to talk, it’s better to still maintain contact with them with check-ins. Such as, a simple “just wanted to see how you were feeling today”. or “is there anything I can do for you?”
or, “is there anything on your mind you’d like to talk about?” could potentially initiate a conversation. 

7. Finally, Take Care of Yourself Too!

Supporting a teen who self-harms can be very tiring emotionally. Therefore, ensure you have a support system for yourself, whether it’s talking to a friend, joining a support group, or seeking professional guidance. Moreover, your well-being is crucial in providing the best care for your teen. Also, it’s better to set a good example for your teen. Similarly by showing that you are able to care for yourself and are coming from a place of peace and wellness and not a place of stress and burn-out.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>to download our free self-soothe kit for self harm click here<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

when your teen won't discuss self-harm

 

Final Thoughts

In summary, don’t lose hope and stay strong throughout this difficult time- even when your teen won’t discuss self-harm. Likewise, continue showing them love, patience, and understanding. Above all, although they may not say it, knowing they have someone who cares and won’t give up on them can mean the world to them. Finally, keep the door open for conversation. Also remind them that they are not alone in their struggles.

About Kari

I am a life coach at Pyramid Psychology. In addition, I have several diplomas applicable to life coaching; including Coaching for Adolescents, Women’s Empowerment and Gender Equality. Also, I’ve taken several webinars from Gabor Mate on Trauma/Family Trauma, the Somatic Institute for Women, and have studied extensively about narcissistic personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder. Empowering girls is a passion of mine, Moreover, I am blessed to be able to help and inspire other girls to break societal norms and follow their dreams as well.
To book a session with Kari click here 

22 Feb
Anxiety, Counselling, Emotions, For Parents, Self-Compassion

Why Does Self Harm Happen in Teens?

  • Posted by author-avatar

Self-harm among teenagers is a growing concern that many parents, caregivers, and educators struggle to understand. It can be alarming to discover that a teen is engaging in self-injury, and the immediate reaction is often fear, confusion, or even frustration. Therefore, many parents wonder, why does self harm happen in teens?
In effect, self-harm is not simply about seeking attention—it is a coping mechanism that signals deep emotional distress.

Why Does Self Harm Happen in Teens?

Self-harm, such as cutting, burning, or scratching, is often a response to overwhelming emotions. Additionally, while the reasons behind it can vary from person to person, common factors include:

  1. Emotional Distress & Regulation

Because of emotional distress, many teens use self-harm as a way to cope. So, they may not have the skills to express these feelings in a healthy way, and they turn to self-injury as a means of relief.

>>>>>>To download our self sooth kit for teens struggling with self harm: click here <<<<<<<<<<<

distressed teen

  1. A Sense of Control

In addition, for some- life can feel unpredictable and chaotic. Therefore, engaging in self-harm gives them a sense of control over their pain, especially when they feel powerless in other areas of their lives.

  1. Relief from Numbness

Surprisingly, some teens self-harm not because they feel too much but because they feel too little. Therefore, emotional numbness or dissociation can lead them to self-injury as a way to feel something—even if it is pain.

  1. Expression of Inner Pain

Also, teens who struggle to verbalize their emotions may use self-harm as a way to communicate their distress. Furthermore, it is often a silent cry for help rather than a deliberate attempt to seek attention.

  1. Peer Influence & Social Pressures

With the rise of social media, self-harm can sometimes be normalized within certain online communities. So, teens may be exposed to others engaging in self-injury and feel encouraged to do the same.

self harm group

  1. Underlying Mental Health Concerns

It is important to realize self-harm is often linked to conditions such as depression, anxiety, trauma, or borderline personality disorder. Therefore, addressing these root issues is key to helping a teen move toward healing.

>>>>>>To download our self sooth kit for teens struggling with self harm: click here <<<<<<<<<<<

How Can You Help Your Teen That is Self Harming?

In summary: if you suspect a teen in your life is self-harming, it is specifically crucial to respond with compassion rather than judgment. Here are some ways to support them:

  • Start the conversation – Let them know you are there to listen without pressure or criticism.
  • Encourage professional help – Therapy can provide teens with healthier coping mechanisms and emotional support.
  • Help them develop new skills – Journaling, art, mindfulness, and exercise are all positive outlets for emotional expression.
  • Create a safe environment – Reducing stress and providing reassurance can make a significant difference.

conversation

Seeking Support for Self Harm in Teens

Likewise, if your teen or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, and you’d like to dive further into why does self harm happen in teens- professional support can help them navigate these emotions in a safe and constructive way. Moreover, as a therapist specializing in adolescent mental health, I offer a compassionate and non-judgmental space where teens can explore their feelings, develop coping strategies, and begin their journey to healing.

With this in mind, you don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out today to schedule a session and take the first step toward understanding and support.

>>>To download our self sooth kit for teens struggling with self harm: click here <<<<<<<<<<<
For other blogs related to self harm: How to Handle When Your Teen Is Self Harming • Pyramid Psychology

 

About Chipo
Chipo is a Registered Social Worker with a Master’s in Clinical Social Work, providing compassionate and culturally competent therapy to teens, adults, and families. With advanced training in Trauma-Informed Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Mindfulness, Chipo helps clients address a range of challenges, including anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, and life transitions.
Through a trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lens, Chipo creates a safe and inclusive environment where each client feels genuinely heard and understood. To book a session with Chipo click here

11 Feb
Emotions, For Parents, parenting teens

Helping Your Teen Build Friendships

  • Posted by author-avatar

Helping Your Teen Build Healthy Friendships: The Power of Perspective-Taking

Parenting a teen girl is like navigating a constantly shifting landscape. One of the most valuable skills they can develop during this time is perspective-taking. The ability to see the larger picture beyond their experience.  Being that a teen’s nature is to be egocentric (focused on themselves) your support as a parent to model and ask curious questions goes a long way in helping your teen build friendships.

At this age, friendships and social interactions take center stage in their minds. So when challenges arise—whether it’s a difficult friendship, a social letdown, or a situation where you clearly see the red flags—it’s natural to want to protect them by pointing out the negatives. However, jumping into this often creates backfire. Moreover, your teen daughter might be even more sunk into the drama and the toxic friendship. Shifting the conversation to get curious about what qualities bring happiness and fulfillment can be a powerful tool. Also, it can work towards helping your teen build friendships.

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

helping your teens build healthy friendships

The Power of Perspective to Help Your Teen Build Friendships

For example, highlighting why a particular friendship may not be serving them might not be beneficial. Instead, you can try inviting your teen into a different kind of reflection:

“Which friends bring you the most joy? Who do you feel good around most of the time?”

This subtle shift encourages them to observe their own emotional responses.  Therefore, it doesn’t focus on perceived external judgment about their friend choices. This also starts to fine tune their listening to their own internal guide for healthy relationships. So it’s no longer about saying, “This friend is bad for you” but rather, “You get to decide what makes a friendship fulfilling.”

Imagine your teen beginning to think:

“Friend A and B are both in my life. However, I feel positive emotions 90% of the time with Friend A, while with Friend B it’s only about 10% of the time. The 10% of frustrating moments with Friend A aren’t a dealbreaker because there’s a lot of good brought into my life. Moreover, if I only feel positive feelings around Friend B a small fraction of the time, maybe that’s not enough to outweigh the negativity.”

This kind of self-driven reflection leads to natural boundary-setting, rather than a parent-imposed rule of who to hang out with.

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

Building the Muscle of Perspective-Taking

Being there for her in tough moments is invaluable so this is not about trying to see the bright side all the time or looking through rosy coloured glasses. This is about validating and being supporting WHILE helping broaden their lens to empower their growing perspective taking skills. 

Helping your teen daughter develop this mindset requires gentle, consistent practice. In addition, here are a few simple ways to reinforce perspective-taking in daily conversations:

Ask Curious Open-Ended Questions
Instead of focusing on the difficult aspects of relationships most of the time, encourage curiosity:

  • “What was the best part of your day today?”
  • “Who made you laugh the most?”
  • “What’s one moment you really appreciated?How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

helping your teen build healthy friendships

Shift the Narrative from Problems to Patterns

  • If they’re venting about a friendship, you can validate their feelings while guiding them toward a bigger picture:
    • “I can see why that was frustrating. Do you notice this happens a lot in this friendship, or was today just a tough moment?”
    • “Who in your life makes you feel the opposite of this?”

Encourage Reflection, Not Immediate Action

  • Teens don’t always need to act on an issue right away. Sometimes, a simmer to notice the pattern first is the next helpful step. A simple check-in like, “Let’s pay attention to what you notice and how it feels over the next couple of weeks,” can help them process things at their own pace, which can go a long way in helping your teen build friendships.

helping your teen build healthy friendships

Why Perspective-Taking Matters

Developing this skill is about more than just friendships. It’s about emotional regulation, resilience, and self-awareness—all key tools for navigating life’s challenges. The ability to step back and make intentional choices will serve your teen in school, relationships, and eventually, in adulthood.

And the best part? You don’t have to have all the answers.


Just by modeling this approach, validating their experiences, and redirecting the focus toward the relationships and experiences that bring them joy, you’re helping them develop the internal compass they’ll use for years to come.

What’s one small way you could practice perspective-taking today to work towards helping your teen build friendships? We’d love to hear what’s been working for you.

Further Reading

If you liked this blog, be sure to check out our other blogs about communicating with teens such as this one: The Power of Language to Communicate with Teens • Pyramid Psychology

About Chantal

helping your teen build healthy friendships

Hi! My name is Chantal.

I am a registered psychologist and teen coach working with teen girls around the globe (and their parents) to help them build Unbreakable Mindsets.

I was born in Ontario and raised in Alberta. As a result of my family encouraging us to speak French growing up (I didn’t always love it as a teen though!), I am bilingual. I love being close to the mountains and am in awe every time I see the beautiful landscapes. For now my RV is home and I offer virtual sessions.

 

11 Jul
Counselling, For Parents

4 Ways To Tell If Teen Therapy Is Right For You

Is teen therapy right for your teen?

Your teen is blowing up and locking themselves in their bathroom for hours. You notice their motivation is at 0%, their mood is really low, and they are either telling you about their problems or keeping a tight lid on the struggle.

Photo by wocintechchat on Unsplash.

You are concerned about their body image, self-esteem, friendships, anxiety and negative thoughts.

You are noticing behaviours that are freaking you out… 

Know that a lot of this is normal.

However, normal doesn’t mean easy and it doesn’t mean it can’t change.

If you’re in a hurry, you can catch the four factors in deciding if teen therapy is right for your teen, in this short video from our Founder, Psychologist & Teen Coach Chantal Côté here:

 

Here are four ways to tell if teen therapy is right for you:

1. Teen Therapy Factor #1: Current Supports

Take a look at their natural supports. Who does your teen have in their life that they can open up and talk to? That can be you, another relative, a teacher or a coach –

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

think of adults in their life that are natural supports they may look up to. Also consider people their age, a group of friends, or a club they may be part of; other teens they can talk to, have fun with, etc.If you’ve checked off a few of the people listed above, that’s a really good thing!

If you’re struggling to think of people your teen can trust and feel safe around, that’s a really good sign that teen therapy would be super beneficial.

Two of our team members here at Pyramid Psychology are currently taking on new clients. Alberta, Canada residents can book a free 20-minute session with Chip Bvindi or Jessa Tiemstra here:

 

Book A Free Consultation

 

2. Teen Therapy Factor #2: Concurrent Stressors

Consider what your teen’s current stressors are. Of course, every teen will have some level of stress all the time! But really take a look at things a little deeper. Are there significant changes happening in your teen’s life right now? Think about things like family life, school, friendships, relationships, gender, identity, sexuality,

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

body image, self image in general, etc. Is there something going on in one of these areas that’s adding stress to your teen? Is something making things a little more complicated for them?

If you said ‘yes’ to any of the possible stressors above, this is an indication that teen therapy is a good resource for your teen.

You can book a free consultation with Jessa Tiemstra or Chipo Bvindi here:

Book A Free Consultation

 

3. Teen Therapy Factor #3: How Much The Problem Is Disrupting Daily Functioning

Are the stressors your teen is facing affecting their daily life? Here are three indications that your teen’s daily life is being affected:

  • Your teen struggling to get out of bed in the morning.
  • You hear your teen crying themselves to sleep most nights (or they tell you about it).
  • Your teen is engaging in maladaptive behaviours, like constantly being on their phone or pulling away from reality.

Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash

If these things are happening regularly for your teen, it is an urgent sign that connecting them with someone else (1:1 therapy) is very important.

If, however, your teen is experiencing these things only from time to time, it may be part of regular stress.

If you’re not sure how often “time to time” is, and how often it would be considered an issue, book a free consultation with Chipo Bvindi or Jessa Tiemstra and we will ensure 1:1 therapy is the best option for your teen:

Book A Free Consultation

 

Teen Therapy Factor #4: Current Coping Strategies

Last, but not least, taking a look at your teen’s coping strategies can help determine if they are needing extra support, or if they already have what they need to handle their stressors independently. Does your teen have activities they like to do that fills their time and lifts their mood when they are struggling? Looking at how connected your teen is to community is helpful here too – are they part of a group or organization they can reach out to, that connects them to others, and makes them feel good + safe? Does your teen have things they turn to in times of stress, like movement or art? Think about how connected your teen is to their emotions – can they name their emotions and name what they need to help? Does your teen take action when they are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or depressed? Or

Photo by Gautam Arora on Unplash

do they let their emotions drag them down?

If you read the above paragraph and have listed several coping strategies your teen utilizes on a regular basis, they are likely well on their way to independently handling their stressors!

If you noticed your teen could use some more support in this area, it’s a good idea to reach out to one of our therapists. One of the things Jessa Tiemstra and Chipo Bvindi work to do in their sessions, is discovering what coping skills your teen already possesses, and then build on these skills with personalized strategies.

Book A Free Consultation

 

Here is a little information on the therapists we currently have available to support your teen:

Jessa Tiemstra

Hi there! My name is Jessa.

I am a provisional psychologist working with teens, parents, and young adults in Calgary, Alberta. I am passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and am truly honoured to work in this field.

When I am not working, I have a range of interests that keep me busy. I love animals and have a dog and a cat that both like a lot of attention (both tri-coloured and fluffy!) I also enjoy plants, being outside, cooking, baking, crafty activities, going for walks, and video games.

I love spending time with family and friends but am an introvert at heart so quieter nights at home are good too.

I have called Calgary home for most of my life and love living here. Being a provisional psychologist lets me invest back into a place I am proud to call home.

You can book a free 20-minute call to get to know Jessa here:

Book A Free Consultation

Chipo Bvindi

Photo by Canva

Hello there!

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

You can book a free 20-minute call to get to know Chipo here:

Book A Free Consultation

 

In Conclusion

In summary, there are several factors to consider when looking at teen therapy as a resource for your stressed out teen. To gauge how important reaching out to a therapist is, look at these four areas:

  1. Current supports
  2. Concurrent stressors
  3. How much the problem(s) is disrupting daily functioning
  4. Current coping strategies

 

Remember, consultations with our team are complimentary. Our primary goal as a team is to be a resource for your teen to discover themselves, build their confidence, and develop strategies that will create independence in the future.

You can get started with your free consultation HERE. We also have a complimentary Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls, which is a PDF with 10 different tools you can immediately begin implementing to help with stress. You can download your copy here:

FREE Anxiety Toolkit
04 Jul
Emotions, For Parents, For Teens

4 Ways to Handle Teen Communication

Earlier this month my colleague here at Pyramid Psychology, shared 3 ways to respond to teen behaviours. (If you missed out on her blog, you can read it here: 3 Ways to Respond to Teen Behaviours). One of the things she reminds us of, is that you can’t read your teen’s mind – no matter how much you wish to! In fact, the teenage years may feel reminiscent of the terrible two’s when toddlers are pushing boundaries and “throwing tantrums.”

 

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Here are four ways to navigate teen communication when challenging behaviours arise:

  1.     Approach the conversation when both parties are calm: Take a deep breath and keep an open mind. Remember: behaviour seeks to meet a need.

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  2.     Listen: Be curious about what’s going on for your teen. Allow them to speak without interruption. If they feel judged, criticized, or that something needs to be fixed, or corrected, defences go up and the conversation may shut down or explode. 
  3.     Validate their feelings: Although instinct is to solve their problem or minimise their concerns in hopes of helping them, use empathetic statements to show you understand, for example, “I’m sorry you’re going through this, “That sounds really tough,” “I can see you’re going through a lot right now, “wow, that sounds difficult.”

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  4.     Communicate boundaries: It’s important that when discussing boundaries, they’re clearly stated and an explanation is provided. The DEARMAN skill can be used to help communicate our needs and boundaries while maintaining a healthy relationship. Here is what the acronym stands for:  

Describe the current situation using the facts. Tell your teen what you’re responding to. 

Express your feelings about the situation. Don’t assume your teen can mind read! 

Assert yourself by asking for what you want. 

Reinforce by explaining the positive effects. Avoid blaming or insulting. 

Mindful to keep the focus on your goals and the present rather than past experiences. 

Appear confident and avoid being confrontational. 

Negotiate. Offer and ask for other solutions to the problem. It’s important to work together to have both individuals’ needs met. 

 

Knowing how to best respond in these tricky situations is incredibly helpful, however, the interactions that take place outside of them are important as well. These interactions offer opportunities to both connect and develop important emotion regulation skills. The Gottman Method proposes the idea of an “emotional piggy bank,” which every person has. When your teen is thanked, affirmed, or given time or affection, a “deposit” is made in their emotional piggy bank. However, a negative interaction like a demand, fight, or nagging, takes place, a “withdrawal is made from their emotional bank. The goal is to have more “deposits” or positive interactions than “withdrawals” or negative interactions/demands. You can learn more about this method on our blog: Emotional Bank Account: Your Relationship with Your Teen.

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Regardless of which tools you choose to use, remember that communication is an ongoing process. You will have good days, and bad days. It is also important to provide your teen with outside resources to communicate with, particularly resources that are not emotionally attached to the outcome. Two of my colleagues are currently accepting new clients for 1:1 therapy. You can meet them here:

Jessa Tiemstra

Hi there! My name is Jessa.

I am a provisional psychologist working with teens, parents, and young adults in Calgary, Alberta. I am passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and am truly honoured to work in this field.

When I am not working, I have a range of interests that keep me busy. I love animals and have a dog and a cat that both like a lot of attention (both tri-coloured and fluffy!) I also enjoy plants, being outside, cooking, baking, crafty activities, going for walks, and video games.

I love spending time with family and friends but am an introvert at heart so quieter nights at home are good too.

I have called Calgary home for most of my life and love living here. Being a provisional psychologist lets me invest back into a place I am proud to call home.

You can book a free 20-minute call to get to know Jessa here:

Book a free 20 min call 

Chipo Bvindi

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Hello there!

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

You can book a free 20-minute call to get to know Chipo here:

Book a free 20 min call

 

 

Hi there! My name is Ally and I am a MA student therapist working with teens, parents, and young adults in Calgary, Alberta. I am passionate about helping others and one of the greatest honours of my life is being able to listen and hold space for other people’s stories. 

 When I am not working, I enjoy listening to music, spending time with family and friends, hiking, and indoor cycling. I love exploring new places with some of my favourites being Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Spain, Iceland, as well as Vancouver Island. 

 Calgary is home, but I will take any opportunity to travel!

11 Apr
For Parents, For Teens

Managing Teen Anxiety: High School Graduation

Managing teen anxiety around high school graduation – what an emotional rollercoaster! I remember the hallways were buzzing with nervous excitement, each day more than the last…

I was looking forward to my high school career coming to an end but this was often overshadowed by anxiety surrounding the unknown. Many of my friends seemed so sure of what they were doing, with some of them planning on moving across the country for school. Although I was excited to gain more independence, I also felt a ton of pressure. Every thought seemed to end with a question mark.

This uncertainty and sense of being out of control caused some pretty overwhelming anxiety. Just as uncertainty can lead to anxiety, anxiety can lead to avoidance, and I was a pro at it! I avoided looking up admission requirements and application deadlines because I was worried I wouldn’t have the grades to get it. Unfortunately, this only caused more anxiety over the thought of missing the deadline and panic when realizing I was giving myself less time to get things sorted and submitted.

 

If you’re a teen (or a parent of a teen) and your high school graduation is coming up, I have created some tips I found useful during my own graduation. These are tips I share with teens in therapy with me as well.

 Teen Graduation Anxiety Tip #1 – Embrace Exploration

Career quizzes are not only fun but informative. They can be a great way for you to hone in on your interests and reveal careers related to them. You could even do them with your friends or family for fun!

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There are a lot of quizzes out there, but if you’d like to take one right NOW here is one to get you started: Your Free Career Test

Teen Graduation Anxiety Tip #2 – Examine Your Values

Values reveal what’s important to you, and can provide direction in your life. Understanding and getting to know your values can be another way to help with decision making; Living in alignment with your values helps you to live a more fulfilling life. If you’re not sure where to start, Values Discussion Cards by Therapist Aid is a hands-on exercise you can try!

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Teen Graduation Anxiety Tip #3 – Steer Clear of Avoidance

While it can be scary to look into admission requirements and submission deadlines, knowing the answers can relieve anxiety and prevent it from snowballing. I found a really great article for you that outlines 30 great questions you can ask to really get to know the schools you are looking into. You can read the article by Foothills College in California HERE.

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Teen Graduation Anxiety Tip #4 – Practice Self-Compassion:

For many teens (and even young adults like myself), thoughts may lead towards the negative, while what you’re saying/doing on the outside is more like an Instagram or TikTok reel – bright, shiny, and ‘perfect’.

I wanted to remind you of this because, even though it might not be discussed out loud, many of your peers are also feeling nervousness surrounding the uncertainty of graduation. They just aren’t saying it.

Sometimes, having a third party person to discuss your thoughts with, and provide known tools for anxiety, can be a really helpful addition to your graduation plans. I am available for 1:1 appointments all across Alberta (online) or in-person in Calgary, Alberta. Your parents will need to be involved in the process – they can book a free consultation with me HERE.

 

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Book A Consultation with Ally

 

 

Hi there! My name is Ally and I am a MA student therapist working with teens, parents, and young adults in Calgary, Alberta. I am passionate about helping others and one of the greatest honours of my life is being able to listen and hold space for other people’s stories. 

 When I am not working, I enjoy listening to music, spending time with family and friends, hiking, and indoor cycling. I love exploring new places with some of my favourites being Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Spain, Iceland, as well as Vancouver Island. 

 Calgary is home, but I will take any opportunity to travel!