23 Jun

Confidence, Emotions, For Teens, Self Image & Body Image, Self-Compassion

4 Questions to Separate Teen Self-Worth from Exam Results

June 27, 2023
By admin

Teen self-worth, self-esteem, self-what?

It is exam time for many of the teens that I have the privilege of working with, and many, like you, are feeling some level of stress or anxiety about studying and what final grade they will end up with. There is certainly a healthy level of stress that can motivate you to study, work hard, and perform better on tests (check out the Yerkes-Dodson Law!). For others, however, the stress and anxiety can be so high that it starts to feel debilitating.

If you are experiencing these high levels of stress yourself, it can be helpful to look at both practical strategies and explore deeper-level factors. As some of my lovely colleagues have already written blogs providing practical tips and tools, in this blog I’ll focus on something else: self-worth.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

When I say self-worth, I mean that deep sense of knowing you have inherent value and are worthy of respect no matter what. It is not influenced by the grade you got. It is not impacted by athletic ability or creativity. It does not depend on any personal beliefs you may hold.

Photo by
Ömer Haktan Bulut

And it’s certainly not impacted by what others may be saying or not saying at school. Self-worth is a part of who you are. It is not dependent on what you do.

For teens who are struggling during exam time, I am often curious to hear what they have to say about the idea of teen self-worth.

Do the grades of others define their worth? (“No!”)
Do you treat classmates differently depending on what grades they are getting in school? (“No”)
Do your grades define your worth as a human being? (“…no”)

Hmmm… interesting!

Even when teens can answer these questions, they often say that it still feels like their worth is dependent on their grades. That feeling is a hard thing to shake, especially after so many years of positive reinforcement from that good feeling we get when we get a good grade in school. Just because we feel a certain way, however, it does not make it true. Untrue thoughts are known as thinking traps. My mentor and the Founder of Pyramid Psychology wrote a blog on thinking traps HERE.

I can sit here and type out what I think about self-worth, but in truth, this topic will be significantly more meaningful to you if you spend some time reflecting. Here are a few ideas to think about, journal on, or even explore with someone you know:

4 Journal Questions to Separate Your Teen Self-Worth from Exam Results

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

What is the difference between who I am and what I do? How do academics and grades fit into this?
What is self-worth, what is self-esteem, and what may be different between the two concepts?
What feedback am I using to inform how I see myself? Are these sources true, helpful, or accurate?
Am I letting feedback, such as grades or what other people think, impact my deeper sense of self-worth?

It can be disappointing when we get lower grades than we are hoping for. In taking time to think about some of these ideas, I hope that the disappointment is directed at the grade and does not turn inward to negatively affect your self-worth. Your self-worth does not depend on your grades.

If you find yourself struggling with teen self-worth, or connecting your worth to exam results, I want you to know you aren’t alone.

I offer 1:1 support to work through these emotions and build strategies for the future. You can book a free consultation with me HERE (for teens in Alberta, Canada).

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

As a bonus question, you may find it helpful to know that in my sessions with teens, concerns about “trauma dumping”, people pleasing, and avoiding (healthy) conflict often come up. How might these concerns fit into the concept of healthy boundaries?

If starting this conversation with your teen brings up more questions, we would love to hear from you!

You can email our team with next steps at info@pyramidpsychology.com

Love, Jessa

Jessa is a registered psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

09 Jun

Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens, Teen Joy

Teen Test Anxiety: 8 Simple Ways Parents Can Help

March 26, 2024
By admin

8 Simple Ways Parents Can Help Teens with Test Anxiety

Well, it looks like it is that time of year again – text anxiety is back!

End of a school year. And you know what that means, right? Tests! Lots of tests. The unfortunate reality of tests is the dreaded test anxiety that can sometimes go with it.

But its ok, we got you!

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How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

Most often test anxiety is produced by the apprehension and pressure to do well on an evaluation. Test anxiety can show up in both physical (fight or flight) and mental (worry, about information recall). However, some anxiety is normal and can help one in a test while for others it can be debilitating. So, what can we do as parents to help support that test anxiety?

Here are 8 Ways Parents Can Help with Test Anxiety:

Photo from Canva Pro

Tip #1: Talk About It

Well, step one talk about the test with your teen, what is causing worry? Perhaps it’s the material, maybe it’s the setting? Has your teen studied the material; do they understand it?

Talk about the worry. Talking about it can help it become much smaller.

Tip #2: Visualize

Visualize the test day… What does your teen need to have to be prepared? Have them imagine walking into the test feeling positive and prepared to write it. Talk about the test with them and go through how they want the test to be, and how they want the outcome result to be.

Tip #3: Expectations

Talk about rational expectations. If your teen has not been present in class or is missing key components, they might not be able to get the grades they wish for. And that is ok, try to work through any catastrophizing thoughts they may have, and discuss the reality of the situation.

Tip #4: Mindfulness

Mindfulness, talk about being in the present moment with your teen, especially when they begin to feel overly anxious. Focus on one task at a time. Stay in the moment and with each thought that appears don’t judge it, just recognize that it is just a thought and let it go.

Photo from Canva Pro

Tip #5: Negative Self-Talk

Encourage your teen to practice replacing negative self-talk with more rational thoughts. Remind them to take a moment to acknowledge how far they have come and give themselves praise.

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How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

Tip #6: Name Anxiety

Talk to your teen about naming their test anxiety. Naming it creates the idea that it exists outside of your teen, putting distance between them and their uncomfortable thoughts.

Photo from Canva Pro

Tip #7: Self-Care

As parents we really want to focus on the basics here as well – good sleep hygiene, a healthy diet, and the inclusion of some moderate to light exercise to keep healthy. Look at other stressors in your teens life and look to reduce anything for a bit to help take some of the pressure off.

Tip #8: Celebrate

Celebrate small achievements your teen makes along the way. Congratulate them on trying. Celebrate that they did something that was hard and uncomfortable. Cheer when they study.

Check out 5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun (blog written by a colleague in the Pyramid Psychology Family) to learn more ways to celebrate along the way.

Plan something for your teen to look forward to after their exams.

Take one of these tips at a time and implement them into life with your teen. You will be amazed at how much of a difference your support can make! (And you will feel less like you’re hopelessly watching on the outside, too).

Before I go, here is a BONUS TIP for your teen with exam anxiety! Offer for them to try a guided meditation the next time you’re driving them somewhere or there’s a quiet moment at home. Click here to listen to one I like.

Love,

Tara Aldie

Graduate Student in Counselling offering affordable counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old) online, and in person in Airdrie, Alberta

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada – $40 per session. Free consultation here.

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How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

—————————————

About Tara

Hello, my name is Tara, and I am a graduate student in counselling, I will be doing my practicum at Pyramid Psychology and I am very excited to practice all the skills I have learned as well as develop new relationships.

I have experience working with youth and teens and I also navigate parenting to four of my own kids. I tend to work with a solution focused, client centred and cognitive behavioural approach. I know that being a teen is tough, and sometimes are problems exasperated by social media and technology.

I struggled with fitting in as a teen, and I really felt that I didn’t belong. After years of soul searching and many personal ups and downs, I realized that my uniqueness was a strength. My goal is to help navigate through these difficult times while promoting self-discovery and personal strengths.

I understand that parents can often feel confused and left out of their teen’s life. I look to bridge the gap between these differences through positive communication. Teens need all the support they can get; the world and relationships can often seem crazy and unrelatable. I work to help bring closeness within existing supports and help develop and foster relationships.

With art, music, writing, play and movement we can work together to help promote self-discovery. I look forward to creating a positive and healing journey with you!

Book a free consultation with me here.

Serving teens in Alberta age 11-18, online or in person (Airdrie, Alberta).

02 Jun

Anxiety, Emotions, For Teens, Teen Joy

5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun

June 5, 2023
By admin

5 Ways to Make High School Exams Fun

The stress caused by high school exams is real… Here are 3 practical ways to help you make the experience fun!

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

Here are 5 ways to help make exams more fun:

Tip#1: Normalize exam stress

It’s important to note that exam season in itself is stressful, and can promote worry, and tension in relation to being in a test-taking situation.

Photo by Averie Woodard

It is normal to feel stress related to upcoming texts or exams which could also serve as a motivation to do your best, by being prepared. Could be tailored into “good stress”. Nonetheless, exam stress might as well trigger depression and anxiety, and affect your eating and sleeping habits. If exam pressure and the taking of the exam in itself starts to take over your life, it would best to let others know, so you can be best supported as needed.

Tip #2: Do what makes you happy.

Everyone has tools that help them cope in stressful situations. These could include but not limited to, taking breaks in between study sessions, listening to music, going for a walk, having a change of scenery, watching a YouTube video, watching your favourite show, or comedy, going through a bunch of memes, exercising, giving into your cravings, doodling and meditating.

Engaging in suitable self-care could help as well, such as ensuring you are eating regularly, and you are keeping up with your sleep hygiene patterns.

Tip #3: Talk about exam stress with your peers, classmates, and friends.

You might find that others might be experiencing or going through a similar range of emotions as you are during high school exams. They say, “a problem shared is a problem half solved”. This might not make you feel better but helps you understand that you are not alone. You have a tribe of other individuals experiencing similar things that you can actually relate too.

Also, you might learn one or two things that could be of help in assisting you cope.

If you find your peer group isn’t super helpful during high school exams, consider therapy as a place to de-stress. There doesn’t have to be anything majorly wrong to speak to a therapist – I am here to help! No judgment.

Alberta residents can book a free consultation call with me HERE. I offer both online and in-person appointments (Calgary).

Photo by Desola Lanre-Ologun on Unsplash

Tip #4: You could join or create a study group.

Working with and being a part of a study group could help boost your confidence in nailing your exams, by being able to practice exam questions together, get and share different perspectives on possible exam questions, laugh, cry together and hence build momentum to keep you going.

Tip #5: Understand that this is a learning experience.

Doing your best whatever that looks like is good enough.

If part of your stress around high school exams is what happens AFTER graduation, here is a helpful blog article by a colleague of mine: Teen Graduation: High School Graduation.

Love,

Chipo Bvindi

Registered Social Worker offering counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old)

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada. Free consultation here.

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Teen Mental Health Handbook Cover

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

26 May

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

5 Ways to Fortify Your Parent Relationship With Your Teen Daughter

May 27, 2023
By admin

5 Ways to Fortify Your Parent Relationship With Your Teen Daughter

The #1 question I get from parents in sessions is “how can I strengthen (AKA fortify) my parent relationship with my daughter?”. Your daughter’s teen years are an exciting time or growth and independence… And it can also be a terrifying time when you feel like you’re in the dark and disconnected from her.

How to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls: A guide for parents wanting to raise confident, resilient young women in today’s world. CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD <<<

9 tools you can immediately use to improve your teen’s mental health, strengthen her relationships, and boost her confidence.

Guide to Raise Unbreakable Teen Girls

Raising a teen is not easy and I’m smack dab in the middle of it as I write this. I remind myself every day that the relationship with

Photo created with elements on Canva Pro

him matters more now than ever.

And yet… As I wait for my my son in the dentist’s office, ocean dreams with colourful fish swimming through the waters playing on the TV monitor, I find myself strangely at ease.

Words you need to hear as a parent of a teenage daughter:

5 Ways to Fortify Your Parent Relationship With Your Teen Daughter

#1 – Give yourself some grace and kindness

The world of adolescence is complex and filled with more questions than answers. How do you know if you’re doing the right thing? How do you guide them to make smart decisions? How do you help them when they’re struggling?

Wheeewwwww – take a breath with me – it can be heavy. You are not alone and you are doing the best you can with what you know right now. Start there 🧡

#2 – See the world through their eyes

Remember what it was like to be 12? 16? Imagine what it’s like to be 12 or 16 today…. Imagine what it’s like to be your daughter right now.

Photo from Canva Pro

I become like the grinch at the end of the movie when I think of this. My heart grows 3 times bigger.

#3 – Learn to Speak her love language

Not everyone shows and receives love in the same way. Even in families, there can be big differences in how each member displays their affection and care towards each other.

Take a minute to learn yours and your teen daughter’s love language. It’ll go a long way in bonding your relationship. You can both take a free quiz here to get started: Love Languages Quiz.

#4 – Say yes to connecting

Her timing might be off sometimes. Her desire might be little. Her sharing might be spontaneous. What’s more, you might not be in the mood for a heart to heart.

But I promise those moments, no matter how small or brief, make such a huge difference.

Whether it’s a high five, a smile, sharing a Matcha tea together, or talking about her hopes and dreams while lying side-by-side in her bed, say yes to connect.

#5 – When all else fails, Laugh.

Photo by Joel Mott on Unsplash

Humour has the power of diffusing tense situations. It has the potential of opening doors around sensitive topics. It has the possibility to

change moods and uplift. It has the potency to release stress. It has the power to connect and the gift of perspective.

Obviously, laughter is not the solution to everything but bringing some levity and lightness to any relationship can bring more ease.

Find that playful part of you, maybe tucked away deep inside. Give yourself permission to laugh at yourself once in a while, make light of something that brings the two of you together, and help your daughter find the “not so serious” about things at times.

Some final words that stuck with me the other day-.

“You will teach them to fly, but they will not fly your flight. You will teach them to dream, but they will not dream your dream. You will teach them to live, but they will not live your life”.- Raising Teens Today

Love,

Chantal

Psychologist, Teen Life Coach, and Founder of Pyramid Psychology

FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

20 May

Emotions, For Parents, Friendships, Relationships

3 Questions for Parents to Ask About Teen Boundaries

May 20, 2023
By admin

There is a certain b-word that comes up frequently in my sessions: boundaries. Specifically, teen boundaries. Let’s figure out what they are, and how to discuss them with your teen!

At the core, boundaries are the lines that differentiate between things that are acceptable and unacceptable. In therapy, we explore the boundaries that are personal to the individual and are set within the context of relationships. Relationships in this context refer to any connection between two people, whether that is romantic, friendship, or family-based.

Personal boundaries vary between individuals and may also vary significantly across time and context. When thinking about boundaries there are many distinct aspects to consider, some examples being emotional boundaries, physical boundaries, temporal boundaries, and intellectual boundaries.

There is a visual about boundaries that I use from TherapistAid to explore boundaries with my teen clients, and I have included it below for your own use:

(You can go directly to TherapistAid and print the visual HERE.

I invite you to reflect or collaborate with your teen (or your parent, if you are a teen!) on the following questions:

Photo from Canva Pro

3 Questions for Parents to Help With Teen Boundaries

1) What relationships in my life may fall under porous boundaries, healthy boundaries, and rigid boundaries?

2) What are the impacts of these different types of boundaries? How do I feel in a rigid boundary relationship or a porous boundary relationship, in comparison to a healthy boundary relationship?

3) How can I move toward healthier boundaries, if I notice I may be using porous or rigid boundaries in my relationships?

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

As a bonus question, you may find it helpful to know that in my sessions with teens, concerns about “trauma dumping”, people pleasing, and avoiding (healthy) conflict often come up. How might these concerns fit into the concept of healthy boundaries?

If starting this conversation with your teen brings up more questions, we would love to hear from you!

You can email our team with next steps at info@pyramidpsychology.com

Love, Jessa

Jessa is a registered psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

21 Feb

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

7 Wise Friendship Must’s for Teen Girls

February 22, 2023
By admin

7 Wise Friendship Must’s for Teen Girls

This blog post is for teens who may be struggling to know what a “wise” friendship looks like. I have put together a few ideas below, but we would love to hear your ideas as well!

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

I think it is safe to say most of us have heard the adage, “choose your friends wisely”. What exactly that means, however, is talked about less frequently.

Photo by Gemma Chua-Tran on Unsplash

Choose your friendships wisely… what it DOESN’T mean:

My friend will never make mistakes.

Everyone makes mistakes at some point, and a friend is no different. Being able to forgive, both ourselves and others, is an important part of healthy communication and friendship.

My friend and I must have the same interests.

Having interests in common with a friend can be a wonderful thing! That doesn’t mean, however, that you must share a lot of the same interests in order to be friends. Sometimes we can learn the most from people who have different values or interests than us.

My friend and I will share everything with each other.

There is a greater degree of openness and vulnerability with good friends, but this does not mean we need to share everything with each other. Finding healthy boundaries about what to share, how much to share, and when, is a key part of making wise friendships.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Choose your friendships wisely… what it DOES mean:

My friend and I will support each other.

In a healthy friendship, there will be mutual support. This does not mean the support is available 24/7 or that it will always be delivered in your ideal way (different love languages, anyone?), but a good friend will want to listen, understand, and support you in what you may be going through.

My friend and I are allowed to have boundaries.

Everyone is different and will have different boundaries based on factors like interests, values, activities, time, energy, topics of conversation, and needs. Understanding that a good friend may have different boundaries than you is a sign of a healthy friendship.

Photo by Katy Anne on Unsplash

My friend and I have mutual respect and honesty.

In the context of people being human, making mistakes, and being so different, a sign of a healthy friendship is being honest with each other and respecting differences. This means both respecting our friends, but also respecting ourselves. A friendship is unlikely to always be 50/50, but it should also not always be one-sided.

My friend and I have a dynamic friendship.

What I mean by this is that a healthy friendship will have moments of fun, deeper conversation, adventure, support, learning, casual times, and more. If you notice that your friend is always talking about really hard, difficult things, or that maybe you never talk about anything more personal, it may be time to switch it up a bit!

These are just a few ideas about what a wise friendship may or may not look like, but there are many more! If you have any ideas you would like to share, send us a note on Instagram or even e-mail at jessa@pyramidpsychology.com.

Choose those friends wisely 😊

Love,

Jessa

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

06 Feb

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

7 Steps to Handle Big Teen Emotions

February 7, 2023
By admin

7 Steps to Handle Big Teen Emotions

If you’re a teen looking to manage big emotions, this blog article is for you.

teen emotions

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Is there a big feeling that you have been experiencing recently? Anger? Sadness? Frustration? Loneliness? Guilt?

It’s hard to be a teen. There are so many things going on in your life and sometimes it can feel like no one understands you.

As a teenager, there are many ways to manage these big feelings and sometimes it might feel as though these are taking over your life. If you’re looking for ways to manage some of these big emotions, read on!

7 Steps to Handle Big Emotions

Photo from Canva Pro

It’s time to use your creativity and imagination. Let’s do an exercise together…..

Step 1: Pick one emotion that you have recently been feeling. As an example, I’ll pick sadness.

Step 2: If you had to imagine what sadness looks like, what shape would it be? What colour(s) is sadness? Does sadness look big or small?

Tip: You may be thinking, what is this blogger talking about?! Stay with me and experiment!

Step 3: To the best of your ability, draw sadness on a blank sheet of paper.

Tip: Have you watched the movie Inside Out? Perhaps this will give you some ideas on how to draw the emotion that is currently visiting you.

Here are some examples to spark your creativity:

Sadness:

www.easydrawingguides.com

Anger:

www.nytimes.com

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

It is natural for teen feelings of self-acceptance to fluctuate over the course of your life, especially as you work through the teen years. You are continually evolving and growing! Remember that self-acceptance is a journey.

The practice of meditation is unique to each individual. One person will not have the same experience as another, so don’t compare yourself to anyone else as you go down this path.

Step 4: Now, write the following answer to these questions beside your drawing:

When does sadness grow?
When does sadness shrink?
When does sadness visit less often? More often?
When sadness is around what are you doing?
If sadness was not around, what would you be doing?
When was a time when sadness disappeared? What were you doing before it disappeared? What were you doing after sadness disappeared? What did you do to help sadness leave?

Photo from Canva Pro

Step 5: If you feel comfortable, share the drawing with someone special in your life. Talk to them about the answers to your questions. Perhaps there is an opportunity to ask them these same questions. If you are working with a therapist who works with teens, like the therapists at Pyramid Psychology, ask them to talk to you more about your drawing and the answers to some of the questions above.

My colleague wrote an article to help you decide if teen therapy is a good option for you: 4 Ways To Tell If Teen Therapy Is For You.

Step 6: When sadness comes to visit you again, pull out this drawing or picture it in your mind. Sadness may visit for a while. Pay close attention to when sadness grows and when it shrinks. What did you do before and after?

Step 7: Keep the picture of sadness with you in your backpack or store it safely at home. Take a look at it when sadness appears. Over time, the answers to your questions might evolve – that’s a natural part of dealing with big feelings.v

If you have any questions about teen emotions, shoot me a note and we can connect 🙂 My email address is fazilah@pyramidpsychology.com

If you are an Alberta, Canada resident you can also book a free consultation with me HERE.

Love, Fazilah

Registered Social Worker with Pyramid Psychology

Helping 100,000 Teen Girls Build Unbreakable Mindsets

Teen Mental Health Handbook

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Is your teen having challenges navigating their current circumstances? Do you want your teen to obtain the skills and tools they need to navigate the peaks and valleys that come their way?

Are you looking for someone who can support your teen to step into their spotlight, have great relationships, and find their confidence? I speak teen. My strength is connecting with and relating to teenagers. I strive to provide a balance of learning and laughter during my sessions. Teens need a coach and therapist who they can trust to talk to about the hard stuff in their lives.

I work with teens from a range of life experiences and backgrounds. My specialities include working with teens who identify as BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of colour) and/or LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and more).

I have a Master of Social Work and a Master of Health Administration. I am also a Registered Social Worker. I have worked across the healthcare sector and served on numerous boards of directors for not-for-profit organizations.

26 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation (Only 5 Questions)

January 3, 2023
By admin

Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation (Only 5 Questions)

‘Teen Strengths Self-Evaluation’ is a blog article designed for teen girls like you to ask yourself questions to discover your personal strengths.

As a teen, for me it was really difficult to have a sense of identity and to know my strengths. We are constantly told to be someone else, and not to accept ourselves. With so much peer pressure, societal pressure, and pressure from family it can be a really challenging time. It might help to reflect, ask yourself some questions and

analyse yourself and experiences.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash

Here are 5 things to consider in order to step into your spotlight and discover your spark:

Strengths Question #1:

What is something that energises you and gives you life?

What is something that you get lost in? You could easily spend hours doing it without checking the time. You get into a flow, a vibe- it takes you to a happier place. For me this has always been my artistic pursuits – doing makeup, drawing and painting portraits. I love to see the results of something I helped create and seeing those results gave me a great feeling of excitement and fulfilment, especially when my client was on the same page and really grateful for my work.

Helping people also gives me life, when my work helps to improve the life of someone else – I feel like I have a purpose. But it doesn’t all have to be about work, it could also be something like travelling or laying on the beach in the sun. Maybe you are passionate about nature or climate change.

Teen Strengths Question #2:

What do your friends and family consistently praise you for?

You might think sometimes your family and friends are just being nice, but if you keep hearing the same things over and over again about your strengths and talents there is probably some truth to what they are telling you from their perspective. So, pay attention. Maybe you are the one that everyone goes to for advice, or maybe you are a great listener and your friends always feel heard after being around you.

Some things people have told me about myself are: you have a great sense of humour, you are caring, positive, you have a strong sense of justice, you’re patient, calm

Photo from Canva Pro

, kind, brave, talented at drawing faces, talented at makeup, good language skills. It also helps to say these things to yourself as positive affirmations, you will begin to feel so multi talented and full of purpose.

Teen Strengths Question #3:

Have you tried a myers-briggs personality test?

I didn’t do this until just last year because one of my friends sent me the website link one day. Although I have already figured out a lot about myself, knowing the results from this test really helped me come to a conclusion about where my strengths lie, and it also helped me with self acceptance. It turns out I have the rarest personality type (that’s one thing that makes me unique!).

The personality test will tell you things like what jobs are best suited for your personality, what you are like in a relationship, friendships, and your strengths and weaknesses. Mine confirmed that I am introverted, and my mission in life is to help others. I have a strong sense of justice. I am also creative, I have a sense that I never quite fit in, and that I value a few deep and meaningful connections rather than lots of friends.

They are really fascinating in how accurate they are. The one I took can be found HERE.

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Teen Mental Health Handbook

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————

Teen Strengths Question #4:

What have you been successful at?

It’s easy to look down on ourselves and think we haven’t been successful at anything. But the truth is, there are lots of things we have been good at. Looking back on my teen years, I was always good with the computer and technology. My family got our first computer when I was around 10 years old so as a teenager I was using the computer a lot. I’ve also been good with language and communication. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life when I graduated high school. There were so many options. My highest mark in school was actually in French and Global Geography. Anyone that knows me personally will see how this fits into my life now. 🙂

Specifically for work though, it is really important to know your personality and your strengths to bring more success.

Teen Strengths Question #5:

What are your values?

Photo by Microsoft Word on Unsplash

An easier way to ask this is by thinking about what you admire in other people.

I did not know that I valued spirituality until I met other people that really helped influence that. For me, a lot of my values came from the people I spent the most

time with. Through my first relationship I became really into personal development, and through my second more towards spirituality and mental health. Each day I strive to become more skilled, to continue learning, to be kind and to be of service to others. So, if I had to say one person with aspects that I really value, I would say Oprah. She is making a huge impact on the lives of others by helping to bring about positive change and awareness.

If you are here on earth you have a purpose! So keep shining your light, and don’t be afraid to be your true self. Someone in this world needs something that only you can offer. And if you think that it has already been done, just remember that it hasn’t been done by YOU.

My colleague, Jessa wrote another blog article for you on understanding your spotlight. Take a read HERE.

If you are an Alberta resident, we have several skilled psychologists/social workers that can guide you through discovering who you are, and getting through the crap life throws at you. Book a free consultation HERE.

Love,

Kari

Admin Team Member at Pyramid Psychology (soon to be ‘Unbreakable Teen Me’)

Kari Bonnyman is a personal assistant from Nova Scotia, Canada. She is passionate about mental health and wellness and has first hand experience with strategies that have helped her navigate through the challenges of life. She loves doing breathwork, yoga, journalling, meditation, reading self help books related to mental health, volunteering to help others and focusing on her spiritual journey. When she is not working she can be found doing art, travelling, listening to spiritual/personal development podcasts, at the beach or in nature, and practicing French and Spanish.

Kari Bonnyman, Personal Assistant at Pyramid Psychology

19 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

3 Ways Parents Can Help Teen Girls Find Themselves

January 3, 2023
By admin

3 Ways Parents Can Help Teen Girls Find Themselves

If you’re raising a girl, have you ever wondered what could help teen girls step into their spotlight? AKA a place where they are embracing who they truly are and the ebbs and flow of life… If so, this blog post is for you.

Here are my top 3 suggestions for helping teen girls step into their spotlight (and I will elaborate more below):

Pay attention to them
Support them to develop coping, communication, and social skills
Be a role model with your own spotlight

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>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

Paying Attention

Trust me, it pays to pay attention to your teen and ensure they feel valued, needed and supported. Pay attention to what they say, what they share with you, their goals and aspirations.

Teen girls have the ability to pick up on being heard and listened to. Sometimes, I have heard teens make remarks such as “oh well that does not matter anyways, mom or dad do not care and they won’t listen to what I have to say anyways”… And I don’t think these statements just come out like that, it’s a result of continued observation of how parents or guardians display paying attention or not. Or even an indication that they don’t care, they are the parent and have authority over their kids.

Photo from Canva Pro

Developing Coping, Communication & Social Skills

You can use your own stories to share skills with teen girls that will help them navigate life’s challenges. Share some of the similar challenges you have experienced as a teen at one point in your life and how you addressed these challenges, whether it was an epic fail or success.

I think at times as parents or guardians we want to always reflect the good in what we do, but what if we shed a spotlight on our failures and shortcomings? This could help teens in developing resilience that life is not always perfect but they can strive for progress over perfection always even if their lives are flipped upside down along their journeys. This helps teen girls learn that failing or rather not getting things right is a part of life. What you do with life falling apart or not going as planned is what matters and could help teens develop skills of diverting control to what’s in their frame of control.

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Teen Mental Health Handbook Cover

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

—————————————

Being A Role Model

I know no one is born or comes to planet earth with a manual on how to be a great parent. However, the least you can do is be a positive role model. By the age of 7 most of our patterns of behaviour, our beliefs and our habits are formed. This is very crucial to note in terms of development and behavioural adaptations kids may have and at the earliest this is also influenced by what they see and observe at home.

Are you a parent that shuts down when confronted. Are you a parent who yells and projects anger when in distress? Do you cope with stress by scrolling on social media for a number of hours? Do you rage at other drivers on the road? Are you able to address how you feel, and process your emotions in a healthy way? Are you taking care of your physical health too?

Teen girls are watching and also adapting some of these behaviours into their own lives. You can help them by showing them that you are working through your flaws.

Photo from Canva Pro

This blog article is food for thought and I hope it gives you an opportunity to reflect, develop some self-awareness and also think about the legacy you want to leave behind. Let’s help teen girls step into their spotlight together.

I offer private 1:1 therapy sessions to help teen girls with all of the above. I provide them with someone that is paying attention, a positive role model, and offer them various strategies to cope with life’s challenges.

If you are an Alberta resident, book your free consultation with me here.

Love,

Chipo Bvindi

Registered Social Worker offering counselling for teen girls (11-18 years old)

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

12 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

Understanding Your Spotlight (for Teen Girls)

December 15, 2022
By admin

Understanding Your Spotlight (for Teen Girls)

When we talk about stepping into your spotlight, it can be hard to know what the ‘spotlight’ is. How will you know when you have found your spotlight? Will you feel completely happy and that things are finally “perfect” when you have found it?

>>>FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to improve focus, boost happy hormones, cope with tricky feelings, and develop self-compassion.

I Want the Handbook!

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

You may disagree with me, but I tend to define “stepping into your spotlight” as a dynamic process instead of a specific goal. Your spotlight may change over time and being in your spotlight may never feel 100% happy and fuzzy – it may feel challenging, scary, but at the core it is life-giving and meaningful. Stepping into your spotlight can be making progress towards a dream career, but it can also be all those little choices you make along the way, whether an end goal is in sight or not.

Thinking about my own teen years, I was never one of those people who knew from a young age what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now that I am a little bit older, and hopefully a little wiser, I think that question can be a bit confusing. Instead of thinking about “what” I want to be, I think about “who” I want to be.

Who I want to be applies to right now, in this moment, in addition to my future hopes and dreams. I think about how I can step into my spotlight, or be my most authentic self while pursuing my goals and living according to my values, within my current reality.

>>>FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to improve focus, boost happy hormones, cope with tricky feelings, and develop self-compassion.

I Want the Handbook!

When I was considering what I wanted to be, my thoughts went into endless comparisons. It was impossible to make a “perfect” choice with so many hypotheticals and unknowns. My mind went back and forth between looking for the perfect end goal and determining that the grass is always greener on the other side. I have

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

since left this mindset behind, and have spent more time acknowledging that “the grass is greenest where you water it” (Neil Barringham).

If you already have a spotlight in mind, that is amazing! GO FOR IT!!

But if you’re like me, and you are less sure on what your spotlight looks like, know that you can find it along the way. You can read a little more about my process after high school graduation here: ‘Planning For The Future After High School Graduation’.

I am also available for 1:1 support to sort through the muck of figuring out what and who you want to be. Book your free consultation here.*

Love,

Jessa Tiemstra

Provisional Psychologist servicing teen girls and young adults.

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada

Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.