EDS Framework: 3 Simple Steps to Handle Big Emotions (for teens)

EDS Framework: 3 Simple Steps to Handle Big Emotions (for teens)

As a psychologist, one idea that I introduce to teens who are struggling with big emotions is to use the EDS framework: express, distract, and soothe to handle big teen emotions. No one tool will work all the time, so having a variety to choose from and which are personalized to you is a great way to be prepared when those big emotions roll around.

Many of the teens I work with keep a list or visual graphic handy to use when they are feeling overwhelmed. When emotions are running high, the logical part of our brain tends to not work quite as well, and having an external visual reminder can help bridge that gap.

 

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The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness  CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

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Here is the EDS framework to handle big emotions:

Express

There are a variety of ways to express your emotions. One of the first ways to express emotions that is mentioned is talking to a family member or friend. This could be face-to-face, but due to the rise in technology, teens are likely to use video chat or texting.

Expressing emotions to someone else is not the only form of expression, and some people even prefer to express emotions individually.

Photo from Canva Pro

Journaling, drawing, creative writing, or using other artistic mediums can all be helpful ways to process big emotions. Some teens that I have worked with also use movements – such as dance or kickboxing – as a way to physically express emotions.

Distract

Distraction tends to be a favourite coping strategy among the teens (and adults!) that I work with. Using technology, such as looking at social media, watching a favourite show, or playing a videogame, are go-to strategies for many teens. Other teens gravitate toward spending time with friends or family, playing a sport, reading, or immersing themselves in a favourite hobby as a form of distraction.

Distraction can be a highly effective tool in managing big emotions, but if it is the only tool used and used frequently, distraction can easily turn into avoidance. As many of the teens I have worked with will tell you, avoiding emotions tends to only make them bigger.

Soothe

Soothing strategies include anything that will help calm down and relax your body. Here are a few ideas that teens have found helpful:

Photo from Canva Pro

  •         Taking a shower or bath
  •         Using a calm box
  •         Snuggling pets
  •         Getting cozy in a blanket and lighting some candles
  •         Drinking a favourite beverage
  •         Eating your favourite comfort food
  •         Spending time on skincare or nail care
  •         Yoga or stretching
  •         Listening to music

    Photo from Canva Pro

  •         Looking at favourite photos
  •         Doing something creative with your hands
  •         Meditations or mindfulness
  •         Journalling
  •         Podcasts or audiobooks
  •         Doing an act of kindness

 

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The Happiness Pill: Teen Coaching to Build Resiliency Against Anxiety & Social Awkwardness  CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS <<<

6 Weeks of group coaching to help teen girls navigate big emotions like anxiety and overwhelm, feel confident from the inside out (including with her body image), and handle social anxiety like a BOSS.

The Happiness Pill

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There can be overlap between the three EDS pillars, as some ideas will apply to more than one category. The key is to understand what you are doing and why.

For continued reading on handling big teen emotions, depression specifically, read my blog article ‘4 Depression Tips for Teen Girls‘.

If you’re not sure how to implement the EDS framework into your self-care routine, I offer private 1:1 therapy for teens and young adults in Alberta. Book a free consultation with me here.

AND, if your emotions are big enough that you’re feeling depress

You can email our team with next steps at info@pyramidpsychology.com

Love, Jessa

 


Jessa is a registered psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

Emotions to help with tips for teen depression

4 Depression Tips for Teen Girls

4 Depression Tips for Teen Girls

I am going to share 4 depression tips for teen girls, to help turn things around for you.

But first, I want to explain something… A theme in dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) is that emotions love themselves. What does this mean, exactly?

Well, if you are feeling down and depressed, you are going to naturally want to do things that actually keep you feeling that way (or even make the feeling stronger!). For example, if you are feeling down, then you are likely to withdraw from others, maybe spend a lot of time in bed, or start listening to sad music.

As another example, if you are feeling angry, then you may have an urge to get into an argument with someone, slam doors, or even break something.

 

teen self-worth

Teen Mental Health Handbook

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

When it comes to depression for teen girls, the feelings can be really strong, and motivation can be pretty low. Becoming more aware of how feelings of depression may end up leading to stronger feelings of depression is important to understand, because then we can start see how we can get stuck in a negative spiral. Here are a few tips to keep in mind if you are a teen struggling with depression!

4 Depression Tips for Teen Girls:

  1.     Try to have some kindness and compassion for yourself. Judging yourself harshly for having certain feelings or struggling to complete certain tasks only makes things worse. What might you say to a good friend who is struggling with depression? What would it look like for you to accept some of this advice?
  2.     Try to be curious about your emotions. Context matters, and our emotions are trying to tell us something and influence our actions. If
    Emotions to help with tips for teen depression

    Photo by Domingo Alvarez E on Unsplash

    you are feeling depressed, how would you be able to tell the difference between genuinely needing some time alone versus getting stuck in an emotion-loving-loop of withdrawal? Emotions do not like to be ignored, and spending some time being mindful and curious can help us choose our next step. (If you’d like help naming your emotions, here is a printable emotions wheel).

  3.     Sticking with the DBT theme, a strategy I sometimes introduce in my sessions is called the “opposite-action”. So, if you were feeling down or depressed, and the actions you were naturally drawn to were to withdraw or isolate, what would an opposite action look like? For some, it may be reaching out to a friend, or going for a walk, or practising self-care like taking a shower. What could it look like for you?


  4.     Make your next step so attainable that it is almost impossible to refuse. Sometimes we can get stuck by wanting everything to change at once, which is a good way to feel overwhelmed and keep the negative spiral going. What is one, small thing you can change today?

These are only a few ideas that come to mind to support you if you are struggling with depression – there are so many more resources out there.

The first way to start is to know that change is possible!

The second is to know you are not alone. There is support for you. START HERE TO GET HELP WITH DEPRESSION.

Love, Jessa

EMDR Certified and Registered Psychologist serving Alberta teens and young adults with Pyramid Psychology.

 

PS – Anxiety often goes hand in hand with depression. If you are experiencing anxiety, you can learn some valuable tips with our blog article: Anxiety and Choice.

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

 


Jessa is a registered, EMDR certified psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

teen trying horse riding over summer break

5 Ways to Beat Summer Break Boredom for Teens

When it comes to the school break and the boredom that settles in over the summer, it can be helpful to see it as an opportunity to do something completely different. The good news about summer break is that if you try something new and find out it’s not for you, you will be back to school in September anyways!

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

teen girl feeling nervous over summer break

Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash

Speaking for myself, it can be really easy to talk myself out of doing things. I have also heard similar thoughts from the teens and young adults that I work with:

“I might not like it…”

“It sounds kinda weird…”

“I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“I wouldn’t be very good at that.”

“I don’t have time for it.”

“I don’t want to commit to something I may not enjoy.”

(If this sounds like you – trust me, having someone by your side can make a world of difference! Book a free consultation with me to help keep you accountable to trying new things, and work out a plan to overcome your fears).

The list of reasons to not do something can go on and on.

With having no school, the reality is that you DO have time to try out new things. The new thing might be “weird”, but you might enjoy it or enjoy parts of it. You also don’t have to be good at it because that’s not the point.

What is the point? Well, that depends on the person. Maybe it is to learn more about yourself and to find new sparks. Maybe trying new

teen girl trying stretching over summer break

Photo by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash

things feels scary and you are proving to yourself that you can step outside of your comfort zone. Or maybe it is just a willingness to try, experience, and be open-minded to what the world has to offer.

That’s why the summer months can be the perfect opportunity to try out something new and completely different than what the rest of the year may look like. The popular saying “you don’t know until you try” exists for a reason. In trying something different, you may even be surprised at how much you enjoy it!  

Trying something new can look completely different for different people. Here are a few ideas to get the brain juices flowing, but it is not an exhaustive list.

5 Ways to Beat School Break Boredom

#1 – Be a tourist in your city

I like this idea. There is so much that Calgary (and Alberta) has to offer, whether it is visiting typical tourist spots, supporting local businesses, or getting out to the mountains. Write down a bucket list of things you want to check out and be intentional with crossing off some of those items. Involving friends and family can also be a lot of fun.

 

#2 – Volunteer or find a part-time job

There are a lot of benefits to both volunteering and working part-time. These experiences can teach new skills and independence, and volunteering in particular can improve overall wellbeing.

 

teen girl journaling on summer break

Photo from Canva Pro

#3 – Slow down

Our society can be very go-go-go. Taking some time to slow down, self-reflect, and enjoy simple pleasures can be a new experience for a lot of teens. For some, this looks like journaling, but it doesn’t have to be.  If journaling sounds interesting to you, here’s a fun website with 61 journal prompts. You can also use prompts as conversation starters with other teens, or people in your family!

 

#4 – Try a completely different hobby

As a few examples, if you like sports, it could be fun (or at least interesting!) to try out something artistic or creative. If you like social media and video games, maybe you could try something outdoors or more active. Other options could include cooking, something crafty, re-finishing projects, learning about a new topic, and so much more.

 

#5 – Take an existing interest to the next level

As a few examples:

  • If you love animals, consider volunteering at the Calgary Humane Society or one of the numerous organizations in the city dedicated to animal welfare.
    teen therapy over summer break

    Photo of the Pyramid Psychology office in Calgary, Alberta

  • If fashion is an interest, maybe learn to sew or volunteer with an organization that helps others learn to sew.
  • If you like sports, there may be summer camps or clubs that run throughout the summer to help further develop those skills.

One of the things I help teens with, is coming up with things they’d like to try over school break. Together, we work out what you’d like to try, possible blockages in the way (like fears coming up), and the logistics of trying something new. If you’d like the support, book a free consultation with me here (Alberta youth age 11 – 21).

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

There are so many options to look into depending on your interests. What your interests are, your mindset, and your choices can all make a big difference. Summer does not have to be boring. It really can be quite the opposite!

And, if you’re a teen with anxiety, summer can often be even harder. Here is a blog written by our Founder, Chantal, with 10 ways parents can help anxious teens enjoy their summer.

It is normal to want human interaction, and to get support, when you are trying something new. Consistent appointments with a therapist (like me) can give you a strong foundation to feeling confident, getting out of your comfort zone, and overcoming fears. Book a free consultation with me here.

Love, Jessa

 


Jessa is a registered psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

4 Questions to Separate Teen Self-Worth from Exam Results

Teen self-worth, self-esteem, self-what?

It is exam time for many of the teens that I have the privilege of working with, and many, like you, are feeling some level of stress or anxiety about studying and what final grade they will end up with. There is certainly a healthy level of stress that can motivate you to study, work hard, and perform better on tests (check out the Yerkes-Dodson Law!). For others, however, the stress and anxiety can be so high that it starts to feel debilitating.

If you are experiencing these high levels of stress yourself, it can be helpful to look at both practical strategies and explore deeper-level factors. As some of my lovely colleagues have already written blogs providing practical tips and tools, in this blog I’ll focus on something else: self-worth.

 

 

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

teen friendship

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

 

 

 

When I say self-worth, I mean that deep sense of knowing you have inherent value and are worthy of respect no matter what. It is not influenced by the grade you got. It is not impacted by athletic ability or creativity. It does not depend on any personal beliefs you may hold.

teen self worth

Photo by
Ömer Haktan Bulut

And it’s certainly not impacted by what others may be saying or not saying at school. Self-worth is a part of who you are. It is not dependent on what you do.  

For teens who are struggling during exam time, I am often curious to hear what they have to say about the idea of teen self-worth.

  • Do the grades of others define their worth? (“No!”)
  • Do you treat classmates differently depending on what grades they are getting in school? (“No”)
  • Do your grades define your worth as a human being? (“…no”)

Hmmm… interesting!

Even when teens can answer these questions, they often say that it still feels like their worth is dependent on their grades. That feeling is a hard thing to shake, especially after so many years of positive reinforcement from that good feeling we get when we get a good grade in school. Just because we feel a certain way, however, it does not make it true. Untrue thoughts are known as thinking traps. My mentor and the Founder of Pyramid Psychology wrote a blog on thinking traps HERE.

I can sit here and type out what I think about self-worth, but in truth, this topic will be significantly more meaningful to you if you spend some time reflecting. Here are a few ideas to think about, journal on, or even explore with someone you know:

 

4 Journal Questions to Separate Your Teen Self-Worth from Exam Results

teen self worth

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

  1. What is the difference between who I am and what I do? How do academics and grades fit into this? 
  2. What is self-worth, what is self-esteem, and what may be different between the two concepts? 
  3. What feedback am I using to inform how I see myself? Are these sources true, helpful, or accurate? 
  4. Am I letting feedback, such as grades or what other people think, impact my deeper sense of self-worth?

It can be disappointing when we get lower grades than we are hoping for. In taking time to think about some of these ideas, I hope that the disappointment is directed at the grade and does not turn inward to negatively affect your self-worth. Your self-worth does not depend on your grades.

If you find yourself struggling with teen self-worth, or connecting your worth to exam results, I want you to know you aren’t alone.

I offer 1:1 support to work through these emotions and build strategies for the future. You can book a free consultation with me HERE (for teens in Alberta, Canada).

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

teen self-worth

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

  • Improve focus
  • Boost happy hormones naturally
  • Cope with trick feelings
  • Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

As a bonus question, you may find it helpful to know that in my sessions with teens, concerns about “trauma dumping”, people pleasing, and avoiding (healthy) conflict often come up. How might these concerns fit into the concept of healthy boundaries?

 

If starting this conversation with your teen brings up more questions, we would love to hear from you!

You can email our team with next steps at info@pyramidpsychology.com

Love, Jessa

 


Jessa is a registered psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

teen boundaries

3 Questions for Parents to Ask About Teen Boundaries

There is a certain b-word that comes up frequently in my sessions: boundaries. Specifically, teen boundaries. Let’s figure out what they are, and how to discuss them with your teen!

 

 

At the core, boundaries are the lines that differentiate between things that are acceptable and unacceptable. In therapy, we explore the boundaries that are personal to the individual and are set within the context of relationships. Relationships in this context refer to any connection between two people, whether that is romantic, friendship, or family-based.

Personal boundaries vary between individuals and may also vary significantly across time and context.  When thinking about boundaries there are many distinct aspects to consider, some examples being emotional boundaries, physical boundaries, temporal boundaries, and intellectual boundaries.

There is a visual about boundaries that I use from TherapistAid to explore boundaries with my teen clients, and I have included it below for your own use:

 

 

(You can go directly to TherapistAid and print the visual HERE.

I invite you to reflect or collaborate with your teen (or your parent, if you are a teen!) on the following questions:

 

teen boundaries

Photo from Canva Pro

3 Questions for Parents to Help With Teen Boundaries

1) What relationships in my life may fall under porous boundaries, healthy boundaries, and rigid boundaries?

2) What are the impacts of these different types of boundaries? How do I feel in a rigid boundary relationship or a porous boundary relationship, in comparison to a healthy boundary relationship?

3) How can I move toward healthier boundaries, if I notice I may be using porous or rigid boundaries in my relationships?

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

 

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

As a bonus question, you may find it helpful to know that in my sessions with teens, concerns about “trauma dumping”, people pleasing, and avoiding (healthy) conflict often come up. How might these concerns fit into the concept of healthy boundaries?

 

If starting this conversation with your teen brings up more questions, we would love to hear from you!

You can email our team with next steps at info@pyramidpsychology.com

Love, Jessa

 


Jessa is a registered psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.