24 Oct

5 Ways for Parents to Boost Teen Confidence

October 25, 2022
By admin

I want to share a personal story of teen confidence. And then from the heart of my teenage self, I have a list of 5 ways I wish adults had instilled confidence in my life.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Here we go…

From the time I was 12 years old until I was in my early twenties, I struggled with my own self confidence and self esteem. I can remember my parents enrolling me in summer day camps with names like “Girl Power” to help me learn strategies on how to increase my feelings of self worth.

I had babysitters that would often show me magazines with photos of lots of beautiful celebrities and sometimes we would watch music videos. I put the pictures

Photo by Charisse Kenion on Unsplash

from the magazines on my walls, like most girls my age did. We didn’t have social media back then but I still compared myself to the images of perfectionism that I saw.

Throughout my teenage years, I became obsessed with fashion. I always had to stand out from the other kids in school, to have the newest styles. In a way I was expressing my creativity, because I’ve always loved art and beauty. I also liked experimenting and trying out different identities. But in another way, I had become materialistic and placed a lot of pressure on myself to look a certain way and to be praised and approved by others. I wasn’t accepting my true self- I was often changing things about my appearance in order to make others notice me.

It also wasn’t only my physical appearance, I struggled with accepting my own personality as well. I have always been shy and introverted, which has been difficult in such an extroverted world. I did not feel like I fit in. I felt a huge pressure by society to act more outgoing and social and another huge pressure to fit into the stereotypical ideal of beauty by wearing fashionable clothes and using makeup. The behavior of the women in my life also influenced me, when I saw them not leaving their house without makeup on.

With all this being said, I wish I had known some strategies to change my inner voice which was constantly telling me I wasn’t good enough as I was. For parents of female identifying teens, here are five tips you can use to help your daughter’s confidence grow:

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

Photo from Canva Pro

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

5 Ways Parents Can Boost Teen Confidence

Teen Confidence Tip #1 – Encourage your daughter to try new things and take risks.

Parents want the best for their children, and to keep them safe. However, by giving your daughter some freedom, she is able to take risks that will build confidence. If she wins, you can praise her and if she fails, you can commend her for being so brave. Ultimately, my confidence skyrocketed in my mid twenties when I decided to stop listening to others, and to travel solo after a breakup.

Teen Confidence Tip #2 – Encourage your daughter to stop caring what other people think (and discourage people-pleasing behaviours)

This one’s really a game changer for me because I’ve always had people-pleasing tendencies. I realized that by listening to what others think I should do in my life, I was really allowing them to control me– which in turn inhibited my freedom and true happiness because I was not being true to myself or following my intuition. The reality is, there will always be people that like you and people that don’t, no matter what– and that’s okay.

Teen Confidence Tip #3 – Praise your daughter for qualities other than her appearance

I can speak a lot about this one from experience. I became addicted to receiving compliments about my appearance and it seemed like more and more I was trying to chase perfection so that I could be deemed as valuable and needed by others. Of course it’s great to give compliments on appearance but it should not be the only thing she is receiving compliments on. Instead, make a conscious effort to focus on the things she is doing for the world.

Teen Confidence Tip #4 – Be careful about the media she is consuming.

Be conscious of the magazines around the house and the types of TV shows that you have on. After 15 minutes of looking at a fashion magazine, their mood is shown to shift from enthusiasm to comparing and negative self talk. I am sure the same goes for social media, so encourage her to limit her time spent on it. Help her realize that social media is not reality, and neither are the photoshopped magazines.

Teen Confidence Tip #5 – Notice the type of behaviour you are modeling.

Avoid making any sort of negative self-talk, putting down your own appearance or making it mandatory that you must wear makeup before you go out. Avoid saying insulting things about your own personality. Instead teach self acceptance, and how she doesn’t need material things to make her more beautiful. For fathers, don’t treat her as though she is helpless and should rely on a man to do things for her. She is capable of doing stereotypically “masculine” activities, like mowing the lawn

or yard work.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Together, by taking the time to reflect on this topic we can shift society’s expectations. We can stop looking outward for our inner happiness. By loving ourselves first, we can become more compassionate, empathetic and generous towards others. In my mid-twenties, I relearned what society taught me and began to think in a new light.

If you found this article helpful, you can continue the work with our blog article ‘3 Ways to Help Your Teen Stop Perfectionist Thinking‘.

Love,
Kari

15 Oct

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

10 Things to Avoid When Raising A Teen Girl

October 17, 2022
By admin

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a handbook for raising a teen girl? Unfortunately, no such handbook exists.

BUT if you want to develop a healthy and working relationship with your female identifying teen, read on.

After working with many teens and families as a Registered Social Worker, I have developed a list of 10 things to avoid doing.

Photo from Canva Pro

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Here are 10 things you want to avoid while raising a teen girl:

Don’t snoop (i.e going through your teen’s phone). That’s boundary trespassing. (You can still set internet rules, though. Read our blog to learn how: ‘4 Tips To Setting Internet Rules for Teens‘).
Not giving your teens the privacy they need when out with friends.
Not hearing and listening to your teen when they try to talk to you.
Not compromising and negotiating and having rigid boundaries.
Coming from a ‘your way or the highway’ style of parenting.
Don’t be fast to talk when you need to listen to understand (e.g interrupting and trying to multitask when they are trying to engage with you).
Don’t take anything teens do personally, I mean they are trying to find themselves and are in transitioning stages… Come on, what was your behaviour like as a teen?
Photo from Canva Pro
Teens don’t want to be talked to as little kids, allow them some independence and ability to make informed decisions.
Don’t force them to engage in things or activities you prefer as a parent or leave up to your dreams and aspirations, this might result in pressure and inability to cope and can often lead to mental health challenges.
Don’t compare your teen to other teens, especially their peers.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

One thing you WANT to do, is ensure you and your daughter have a lot of support during this time.

It takes a community to raise a child 🧡

Through Pyramid Psychology (soon to be known as ‘Unbreakable Teen Me’), I offer private therapy sessions for female identifying teens, which include support for YOU in-between sessions.

I support adolescents in Alberta ranging from 11 to 21 years old. You can book a free consultation with me here:

I Want Support for My Daughter Now

Love,

Chipo

Register Social Worker offering counseling for female identifying teens (11-21 years old)

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

11 Oct

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

4 Tips To Setting Internet Rules for Teens

October 11, 2022
By admin

Internet rules for teens are a hot topic amongst parents, particularly as friendships are increasingly going or starting online for teens.

Parents bring up concerns about safety, appropriate messages, and cyberbullying.

Teens, in response, talk about how important the online platforms are for them to stay in contact with their friends or how “uncool” they would be to not be active on certain platforms.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

From my perspective, both parents & teens have some valid points in the discussion around internet rules. In bridging these two seemingly opposite perspectives, I often make use of the following tips in my work with parents:

4 Tips To Setting Internet Rules for Teens

Photo From Canva Pro

Internet Rules for Teens Tip #1: Try to involve your teen as much as possible in the decision-making process.

Your teen is significantly more likely to agree and stick to online guidelines if they have had a say in the matter. This doesn’t mean that the teen gets what they want, in fact, a sign of a good compromise is that neither party is 100% happy. Instead, have a curious conversation about why online friendships are important to your teen and take a moment to genuinely listen to their perspective. It may even be helpful to think back to your own teenage years, when friends, peers, and “fitting in” were all important topics.

Once your teen feels more understood, there is a chance to explain your perspective, whether it be concerns about screen time, privacy, online safety, secrecy, or cyberbullying. Depending on the age of your teen, your family values, and how your teen is doing in other areas such as school, the guidelines can vary from family to family. Here are a few topics that are important to explore:

screen time
privacy settings
the different platforms
appropriate messages and content
what information to share with who
peer pressure
what to do if an unsafe conversation happens

Pro tip: helping teens understand the why of the guidelines is an essential element of explaining your perspective.

Internet Rules for Teens Tip #2: Understand that an outright ban is likely to have negative consequences

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

While it can be tempting to ban social media, online friendships, or using certain platforms, taking an all-or-nothing approach is likely to backfire.

Having a strict ban on social media or online friendships tends to result in teen secrecy and reduces healthy and open parent-teen communication. This open communication is especially important in the event of

harmful online interactions.

And teens are smart! I have worked with teens who have hidden apps on their phone’s home screen, have multiple profiles, or even used a second phone.

Similarly, having no restrictions or regulations whatsoever can also be harmful, as your teen may not be mature enough to process the content, set healthy limits, manage their time or responsibilities, or realize how social media may be affecting them. Your level of involvement really depends on your family rules in general, and your teen specifically. For some, you may need to be more involved in setting guidelines and monitoring (at least for a time).

When deciding how involved to be in your teen’s online world, be mindful of the desire for privacy and confidentiality in conversations between friends. It might be helpful to check in on your own why and ask yourself if you are monitoring the conversations due to a legitimate safety concern, or if you are using it as a back door to understand your teen.

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Internet Rules for Teens Tip #3: Talk about online safety

Online safety is so important and encompasses many areas. Privacy settings and revealing personal information are one area to address, as default settings are rarely restricted in terms of who can access or see the information. What appropriate content is, whether in terms of messages, photos, or videos, is an important discussion to have with your teen.

Invariably, teens will be exposed to harmful comments, cyberbullying, peer pressure to engage in risky behaviours, and more. In my mind, the question is more of a “when” than an “if”, and when exposure like this does happen, hopefully, your teen feels comfortable enough to approach you with their concerns.

As a parent, this requires you to stay reasonably calm, thank your teen for their openness, and make sure any consequences are reasonable and appropriate.

An unfortunate reaction I have seen is when teens I work with disclose a harmful online interaction with their parents, and their parents react with extreme emotion. Sometimes, parents have taken their teen’s phone away. Oftentimes, this results in the teen learning that their phone will be taken away if they share with their parents. Meaning they don’t share in the future.

Internet Rules for Teens Tip #4: Online friendships are a valid source of connection

Although online friendships look a little different than the brick-and-mortar variety, they can still provide the benefits that in-person friendships do. Many teens develop meaningful connections over the internet and describe some of these friendships as offering support, providing meaning, helping with stress, and in some cases being their best friends.

You can help your teen determine how good their friendships are (both online or in-person) with my colleagues blog article: Teen Friendships: 7 Questions to Decide if They Are Good Ones.

For teens that may be struggling to find meaningful connections in places like school, online friendships can meet that fundamental human need for belonging and connection.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Photo by Windows on Unsplash

The bottom line to the complex and challenging topic of internet rules for teens, is that keeping a safe line of communication open between you and your teen is ultimately one of the best ways to support them in navigating online friendships.

The internet is here to stay and developing healthy ways of interacting online is a valuable skill.

Be willing to invite your teen’s perspective on setting healthy guidelines for online friendships and open to sharing your own. As much as possible, view the conversations from an “us versus the challenge” mindset, instead of a more divisive “you versus me”.

If your female identifying teen could use support with online friendships (or friendships in generally), safety on the internet, or developing social skills, I offer 1:1 therapy for Alberta residents. You can book a free consultation with me HERE.

BOOK YOUR FREE CONSULTATION

Love,

Jessa Tiemstra

Provisional Psychologist servicing female identifying teens and young adults.

Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

03 Oct

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

8 Reasons Your Teen Daughter Needs A Mentor

October 3, 2022
By admin

8 Reasons Your Teen Daughter Needs A Mentor

Photo by Kevin Laminto on Unsplash

Having a teen mentor is crucial for teen girls. I will share 8 reasons why shortly.

But first, dear most amazing parents of teen girls, I am going to ask you a really important question:

When you think back to your teen years, who are the people that had the strongest positive impact on your life?

You might be thinking about that teacher who wouldn’t give up on you, your older cousin who understood everything you were going through, the no-nonsense coach who pushed you to do better, or your best friend’s mom who always showed you the utmost kindness.

Maybe you didn’t have a person directly in your life, so you looked to those you didn’t know personally; an author, actor, philosopher, artist, musician, athlete…..

One of those people for me was my Uncle. There was nothing particularly exceptional about what he did, it was more of a feeling. When I was around him, I felt seen. I felt important. I felt loved. Thinking of him now puts a massive smile on my face. I remember his qualities of kindness, warmth, and adventure. And, what a sense of humour! His wit was worth admiring in my books.

Even though he died when I was in my teens, I still see him as one of my best mentors.

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

How did the person you thought of make a positive difference in your life? Do you remember what they said or did for you that made an impact? Is it more of a memory on how their being in your life made you feel?

When I look back at the impact my Uncle had and still has on my life, I realize just how exceptional it was. I strive to live out the qualities he modeled. The relationships we have in our teenage years have the potential to change the course of our lives.

Reggie Nelson and Jessica Hurley are two wonderful anecdotes of how powerful mentors can be for teens.

So one more question for you….. Who is your daughter’s teen mentor?

8 Reasons Your Teen Daughter Needs A Mentor:

Helps your teen daughter believe in herself and the possibilities for her life
Gives your daughter a person to go to for advice and guidance
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
Creates hope (when your daughter doesn’t feel alone)
Builds long term trusted friendships to help your teen daughter through the ups and downs
Supports your daughter to develop her identity
Opens doors to new ways of thinking (and new opportunities) for your daughter
Provides a way for your teen daughter to practice social + conversational skills, and build conflict resolution skills
Provides your teen daughter with a model for qualities and characteristics

So, I ask again. Who is your daughter’s mentor? Someone who is a champion of her life – cheerleading and rooting for her no matter what. Somebody she sees as a trusted guide, who is consistent. Someone who sees her.

If you didn’t immediately know the answer, I encourage you to talk to your daughter. Ask her who she looks up to, admires, or reaches out to for help. Ask her if she needs more support; someone in her corner.

Photo by Frank Leuderalbert on Unsplash

It’s really important to take ego out of the equation, and recognize that teen girls often need support outside of their immediate family (goodness knows I wanted someone other than my parents as a teen, haha)!

At Unbreakable Teen Me, we offer a safe space for your daughter to have a teen mentor. A woman she can look up to, go to for advice, and build her skills with. You can get to know any of our team members HERE (simply scroll to the bottom of the page).

When your daughter has chosen a potential teen mentor (therapist) she resonates with most, you can book a completely free consultation (Alberta, Canada residents) to ensure it’s a good fit. You can book your consultation with any of our team members here:

Find Your Daughter's Mentor Today

Love,
Chantal

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

27 Sep

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

Volunteering for Teens: The Benefits, Barriers, and How-To’s

September 27, 2022
By admin

Volunteering for Teens: The Benefits, Barriers, and How-To’s

This blog will share the benefits, barriers, and how to’s when it comes to volunteering for teens.

As a teen, you can sometimes feel lonely or find it hard to connect with other people. Sometimes you want to make friends but find it challenging to meet people who we connect with. Sometimes you want more ties to people in your neighbourhood or city, but you don’t know where to start.

One way to build community connections is by volunteering your time to a cause that you feel connected to.

10 Benefits to In-Person Volunteering for Teens

Making friends and creating strong relationships
Finding a mentor
Creating a sense of belonging
Gaining confidence
Increasing your emotional and physical well-being
Having fun
Expanding your social skills
Feeling less isolated
Learning hard and soft skills
Future job reference

Photo from Canva Pro

4 Perceived Barriers to Volunteering for Teens (and what to do about them):

#1 – I don’t have time.

Surprisingly, volunteering time can make you feel as though you have more time. Studies show that when you give your time, you feel less time-constrained because you will learn how to manage your time better. (Also, since you spend this time developing ourselves it feels less like a task on our to-do list.)

#2 – I’m scared to meet new people.

If you are with a group of people, pick one person that you would like to chat with and try to get to know them. After a while, focus your energy and time with a few more people and see how you feel. Continue to check in with yourself to see how you are feeling. Give yourself permission to step away if you are feeling overwhelmed or give yourself permission to continue talking to people if you’re feeling okay.

Remember that going outside your comfort zone and feeling a bit uncomfortable is okay (as long as your safety is not at risk). You may soon learn how to walk toward the unknown. The more you can develop this skill the more you will train your mind to have greater psychological flexibility.

#3 – I don’t know what I am interested in.

You may be pleasantly surprised that you know more about yourself than you think you do! Consider creating a list of things that you already enjoy doing and the soft and hard skills that you want to learn. Revisit the list after a day or so and write down what stands out to you.

The fun part of volunteering is exploring and discovering what you like and do not like. Finding a volunteer opportunity that is the right fit is like finding your way on a hiking trail. The more you try, the better you get at

Photo from Canva Pro

navigating the trail and anticipating what comes next.

#4 – I don’t know where to start.

Think of this as a process and focus less on the result. You may start to notice the fun that comes with exploring and testing things out.

Working through these questions can sometimes be easier with someone else. In private sessions with me, we can work through your choice to volunteer and the potential barriers or fears that may come up as a result. Alberta residents can book a free consultation with me here:

Book A Free Consultation

The next section provides tips on how to go about starting to find a volunteer opportunity.

Volunteering for Teens: How To Find The Right Opportunity

It can take a few attempts before finding a volunteering opportunity that is right for you. Think of this as if you’re on a trip and exploring the things around you. The community is your playground, and you are the explorer.

There are many ways to explore on your journey towards finding a volunteer opportunity and making community connections: online (ex. VolunteerConnector.org), your current friend/family networks, school billboard or

teacher, calling organisations that interest you, social media, etc.

Considerations to Volunteering for Teens:

1. Communicate with your parents – Sometimes parents have great ideas and can support our efforts!

Photo from Canva Pro

2. Your personal values – Seek opportunities and organisations that align with your personal values. If you need help with exploring your personal values Brene Brown’s list of values could get you started.

3. Social diversity and inclusivity – Ask yourself, does the organisation seek to create an environment that allows volunteers from all walks of life to succeed and meaningfully contribute? Is the organisation inclusive of diversity – race, socioeconomic status, gender, sexuality, abilities, etc.?

Learning the value of diversity, understanding different perspectives and life experiences, and working with people who have different ideas have many benefits. It helps us learn more about ourselves and our community, understand how to relate to others who a different from ourselves, and much more.

4. Your interests and volunteer goals – See above for practical tips.

5. Time commitment and location – Is the location accessible to you? Is it close to your home or school? Will you be driving, getting a ride, or taking the bus? These are all important factors to take into account.

6. Schedule and frequency – Do the volunteer shifts align with your schedule or does this overlap with other commitments? Is the frequency of the volunteer opportunity in line with the time you have available?

Volunteering for Teens in Calgary, Alberta:

Photo from Canva Pro

If you are in Calgary, hundreds of organisations in our city are looking for volunteers. Here are a couple of organisations that are looking for teen volunteers:

Volunteering is a great way to build relationships in your community. It has been something that I have engaged in throughout my life and have benefited so much from! It’s helped me to create strong friendships, learn more about myself, and build strong community connections.

You do not have to navigate friendships, community, and volunteering by yourself. That is what I am here for! I offer affordable therapy ($40 per session) in Calgary, Alberta (online appointments available to Alberta residents). If you’re ready to create community, let’s chat:

Book Your Free Consultation

Let me know how your journey is going and if you have any questions!

Fazilah Shariff MSW, MHA, RSW

Is your teen having challenges navigating their current circumstances? Do you want your teen to obtain the skills and tools they need to navigate the peaks and valleys that come their way?

Are you looking for someone who can support your teen to step into their spotlight, have great relationships, and find their confidence? I speak teen. My strength is connecting with and relating to teenagers. I strive to provide a balance of learning and laughter during my sessions. Teens need a coach and therapist who they can trust to talk to about the hard stuff in their lives.

I work with teens from a range of life experiences and backgrounds. My specialities include working with teens who identify as BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of colour) and/or LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and more).

I have a Master of Social Work and a Master of Health Administration. I am also a Registered Social Worker. I have worked across the healthcare sector and served on numerous boards of directors for not-for-profit organizations.

19 Sep

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

How to Be A Good Friend (for Teen Girls)

September 15, 2022
By admin

How to Be A Good Friend (for Teen Girls)

Teen girls often talk about how other people in their lives should be a good friend. And yet you often seclude yourselves from the same expectation. (Adults do this too). WHY? Bet when you are pointing the finger to others 3 fingers point right back at cha! Now how can you be better at this friend thing in life?

Here are the top 3 ways I have discovered to be a good friend. Things I have learned through life experience and working with families and teen girls:

(If you already know this is an area you would like support in, know that I pride myself on my holistic approach to caring for your mental health. I come from a trauma informed background that looks through an intersectional lense to give you services that meet your needs. Alberta residents can book a free consultation with me below).

Book A Free Consultation

How to Be A Good Friend Strategy #1: Self Compassion

Photo by Hala Al-Asadi on Unsplash

It all starts with you… Everything starts with the self. You! How do you treat yourself? Do you treat yourself with care, love and support? If you are overly critical towards yourself, you may have a tendency of being overly critical with others. What would treating yourself with compassion mean or look like? And from there how can you extend the same level of grace to others? What would being more curious mean than being judgmental?

Note: this does not mean tolerating disrespect, being bullied, pressured or allowing others to flake on you. Extending grace and tolerating being mistreated are different things.

How to Be A Good Friend Strategy #2: Authenticity

Do you show up as your true authentic self? Or is there some sort of code switch in order to fit in? What’s the worst that could happen if you showed up as you? People might no longer like you or be friends with you. Well they were not your friends to begin with. I mean who hates authenticity? Someone’s true self without blinds and folders.

Being your authentic true self does not mean opening yourself up to everyone. It means being able to show up as you, the person in the mirror, flaws and all, embracing your complete sense of humanity – being imperfectly perfect.

Your life and existence is not a performance. Show up as you and the world and everything else will adjust. Your self-worth is not tied to other people’s views or expectations of you. It’s an independent construct so treat it as such. You are worth it just because you are.

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

How to Be A Good Friend Strategy #3: Communication

What’s your communication style like? Is it your way or the highway? Is there room to hear each other out, ask for space when needed, or carry on with the

conversation at a later time? Do you socially and emotionally distance yourself when things get hard or when you don’t get your way? How do you find your way in life?

I would be curious to know why you respond the way you do to the above questions. Are there other alternatives to your current responses? If so, what could they be?

What does healthy and effective communication look like to you?

At the end of the day it takes two to tango, including yourself. So you are not exempt from communicating. TA DAAA! What a surprise, hey?

Are you jumping into conclusions or do you make space to ask for clarity in order to avoid assumptions and confusion?

I want you to know this is not a personal attack. This is simply a personal reflective practice or journal entry you can engage in. Even for myself as I write this, I am holding space for my triggers (cringe).

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

If you want to dive further into this exercise, here are a few more questions:

Are you assertive with your boundaries…. being able to express or communicate your needs and wants and also allowing space and room for others to do the same?
Is there space to hold feelings, have difficult conversations, and resolve conflict? Or people are no longer good because they made a mistake?
Do you respect your boundaries and those of others? Are you vengeful and passive in your setting of boundaries or do you create them in order to take care of yourself and keep the relationship strong?
Is there room for accountability, empathy and constructive criticism for growth?

If these questions brought things up for you, felt like an attack, or made you react defensively, there is something there for you to work on. I offer a neutral, quiet space to work through your triggers here. Book your free consultation with me here:

Book A Free Consultation

Just remember, the most important thing:

Be the friend you want to have.

Love,

Chipo

Register Social Worker offering counseling for teen girls

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

12 Sep

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

Being Popular At School: 3 Questions for Teen Girls

September 12, 2022
By admin

Being Popular At School: 3 Questions for Teen Girls

Photo by Eliott Reyna on Unsplash

Being popular at school, having anxiety about friendships, and uncertainty about the school year are topics that keep coming up with the teen girls I work with. It brings to mind a quote that has been churning in my mind recently. A quote you have likely heard!

““Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”.

Although some sources credit the saying to Dr. Seuss, there is a disagreement over whom the original author was, with some believing it was actually Bernard Baruch. Regardless of the original authorship, I find the quote to be insightful and relevant to the teen girls I have the honour of working with (and pretty relevant to anyone, really!).

I know friendships and popularity at school are on the minds of teen girls because questions such as “will I be with my friends?”, “what if no one likes me?”, and “what if I am not popular at school, or what if I am never popular?” are common in the therapy room. These questions shine a light on the underlying human condition to socialise and feel accepted, which, while more acute in the teenage years, is not just a “teenage thing”. I have yet to meet a person who did not long for at least some human connection, to be seen and heard, or to be liked, and similarly, who did not have a fear or at least dislike of rejection.

The relative strength of these factors vary, but in one form or another, are ubiquitous in us humans. Humans are social beings, so it makes a lot of sense why back-to-school fears about friendships and fitting in are so common.

But…just because it’s common, doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Note: If anxiety around friendships is common for you, here is a free Anxiety Toolkit that includes 10 exercises and various free videos to help you master it:

Anxiety Toolkit

Being Popular At School: 3 Questions For Teen Girls

For teens that are worried about being popular at school, have anxiety about friendships, or a fear of not being liked, I often ask them a series of questions:

Being Popular At School Question #1: Let’s imagine for a minute that everyone liked you, what kind of world would that be?

Most teen girls that I talk to conclude that a world like that “would be terrible”. In terms of reasons why, they say that in such a world, a person would always be changing to meet the interests of others and not be true to themselves, or they would have no boundaries or may not be standing up for what they know to be right.

Being Popular At School Question #2: Is there anything more important than being liked?

When given a chance to think about this question, many of the teen girls I work with have identified a number of things more important than being liked.

From the teen girls themselves, here are some of the reasons they commonly share are more important than being liked:

Being true to oneself
Standing up for what is right
Standing up for friends or family
Having healthy relationships
Being kind

Being Popular At School Question #3: Is it more important for other people to like us, or for us to like (or at least respect) ourselves?

This question is best asked last, because after exploring the previous questions, most teen girls tell me it is more important to be true to who they are and to like themselves rather than have the approval of others.

Usually, at this point in the conversation, the issue of being liked or not doesn’t feel as huge or scary of a problem as at the start.

Are some of those feelings and questions still there? Of course! But the question of being liked or popular becomes less of an identity-defining, terrifying issue.

Our team has also developed 7 questions you can ask yourself to ensure the friendships you have are good ones. You can access them in our blog article here:

Teen Friendships: 7 Questions to Decide If They Are Good Ones

This brings us back to the quote: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”… It’s not that those people who mind “don’t matter”, but that they shouldn’t have the power or influence to dictate who you are or change your sense of worth or morality.

Do you love learning and are super into school? Awesome!

Or do you find joy in video games, anime, or make-up? Amazing!

Or maybe your spark is in sports, music, art, or volunteering? Astounding!

You befriend the new kid at school even though they dress “uncool”? Awe-inspiring.

The reality is that everyone is different, and not everyone is going to click or jive together. And that’s okay. Perhaps instead of trying to be liked, you can find the things that are more important to you and take steps towards those hopes. Hope for you may be respecting and appreciating diversity, both for others and for ourselves. Or, it could be growing in greater self-respect and self-love.

The key to ask yourself is this:

What is so important to you that it doesn’t matter if others mind?

You can access support through our free Anxiety Toolkit (for anyone), or 1:1 sessions with me (Alberta residents only).

1:1 sessions with me include a complimentary 20-minute consultation to ensure we are a good fit. If you have benefits, they are also eligible for reimbursements.

You can book your free consultation here:

Book Your Free Consultation

Love,

Jessa Tiemstra

Provisional Psychologist servicing teen girls and young adults.

Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

06 Sep

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

Teen Friendships: 7 Questions to Decide If They Are Good Ones

September 6, 2022
By admin

Teen Friendships: 7 Questions to Decide If They Are Good Ones

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

How is back-to-school going, and the teen friendships that come with it?

There are a plethora of things to think about: What are your teachers going to be like? Are you in the same classes as your friends? Did you get the elective you wanted? Will you be able to stay motivated and keep your grades up this year? What are you going to wear on the first day? and… Will that giant stress pimple that decided to show up two days ago disappear from your forehead before the first day?!

That’s a lot to think about. I hope you’re managing ok. As a teen girl, I had mixed feelings about the start of school each year. I was always looking forward to hanging out with my friends, couldn’t wait to get a few new pieces of clothing, and I had a bit of a thing for nice stationary. In fact, a lot of a thing- I even got a job at Staples because of it! I also felt kind of stressed. All this stuff can pile up in your brain, but there’s one that can really make or break a school year and that is TEEN FRIENDSHIPS.

Would you agree?

I mean I’m not saying teen friendships are the only thing to worry about of course. And I’m not saying you should measure your happiness based on your friendships this school year. Let’s be honest, friends are human…. So they can be fickle, moody, change their tastes, change their minds, and well um…. Change just in general.

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn says “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with” and someone else once said “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”. Although you aren’t totally defined and influenced by only 5 people in your life, there is some truth to these statements.

Think about friends who start to kind of dress alike. Best friends who like the same music, watch some of the same shows, laugh at the same kind of humour, back up the same social movements. It’s great to have people who get you. Teen friendships that have your back.

7 Questions to Ask About Teen Friendships

I want to share with you 7 questions that you can ask yourself as a bit of a litmus test to help you see if your current friendships are solid.

(Note: These questions were Inspired by a fun quiz on Kids Help Phone).

Teen Friendships Question #1: Can I be myself?

Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash

If you can speak openly and honestly and really feel like you are being You around your friend(s) – this is a good sign. If you need to change or filter out a lot of what you’d like to say, you are probably not able to be your real self around this person. This is a red flag.

Teen Friendships Question #2: Do we listen to what each other has to say?

Listening includes not interrupting, hearing what matters to each person, leaving the judgy comments out so you actually feel like it’s ok to share things that are important to you. It’s not a 50/50 split most of the time, but if you feel like you are not being heard and that what you have to say doesn’t matter, pay attention to this.

Teen Friendships Question #3: Do I feel appreciated? Do I appreciate them?

Are there things about your friend that you really like? If you find yourself cheering them on to succeed in things and they are doing the same for you, that sounds like a solid friendship. On the other hand, if you spend a lot of time feeling jealous and resentful for things going their way or if it’s the other way around- caution- this may not be the best friendship for you

Teen Friendships Question #4: Do we fight fair?

Friends don’t always get along. That’s the nature of relationships. When you are disagreeing or in a conflict with your friend, do you take some time to think it

Photo by Jarritos Mexican Soda on Unsplash

through? Do you talk it out? Do you cool off and speak up for yourself and allow your friend to do the same? If so, these are the conflict resolution skills of a good friendship. Do you say hurtful things to their face or behind their back? Do you spread rumours? Attack them on social media? Not the best friendship patterns emerging here.

Teen Friendships Question #5: Can I be honest and trusting?

It’s ok to not like the same things or see eye to eye on everything. If you can share a different perspective and trust that your friend will still be a friend, this is good news. If you tread lightly because you fear being the centre of gossip or outcasted from the group or have become a Yes person to appease, it might be time to rethink this friendship.

Teen Friendships Question #6: Are we there for each other?

You don’t have to share all your secrets with your friend(s), but it is important to have someone who wants to help and be there for you when you’re having a tough time. Likewise, if you want to help and be there for them, even if you don’t always know how and what to say- this is definitely good friendship territory. If your friend seems annoyed any time you bring something up that has a smidge of problem to it or you find yourself not caring that much what happens to them when they’re struggling- this might be get-out-of-the-friendship territory. Here’s another thing to consider- if your friendship is one-sided, where you (or the other person)

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

feels like they’re putting in way more effort than the other one, that’s not usually the best situation for a solid friendship.

Teen Friendships Question #7: Do we have fun together?

Yes, because it is about Karaoking badly and inventing song lyrics about your classmates and putting food on each other’s faces for a game of guess what your “beauty mask” is made of….. Or not….maybe that was just me. It is about having fun. If this is a resounding YES. Keep having fun with this friend. If it is all drama all the time or just a one show pony of sadness, arguing, boredom, etc. It may be time to let this one go.

How did the litmus test go? Are your friends keepers?? You can also use this as a way of vetting new friends as you get to know them. Having great friendships, even if they don’t last forever, or become your ultimate best friend, makes a world of difference in having a great life and funny stories to tell.

Until next time.

Love,
Chantal

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

25 Jul

Emotions, For Parents, For Teens, Friendships, Teen Joy

Feelings As Visitors: How To Welcome All Feelings Even The “Bad” Ones

July 25, 2022
By admin

Learning From Our Feelings

Ok today we’re writing about tricky feelings, those feelings that are difficult to experience, those that are pleasant, and feelings in general. I want to highlight that our relationship with our feelings is pretty important and if we learn to approach feelings with curiosity rather than resistance and judgement, we may find that we can cope much better.

I’ve decided to start by sharing a poem that I find quite profound and helpful in how I experience feelings. I like this poem for many different reasons, but mainly because, for me, it talks about how we can have a relationship with feelings and experience feelings in a way that isn’t scary. If we spend less time trying to avoid or deny a feeling and more time listening and learning about it, the experience may be easier to have and may teach us something.

Photo by Canva

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

— Jellaludin Rumi,

Feelings Don’t Last That Long

Photo by Canva

Learning and listening to our feelings may open the door to opportunities, as Rumi said, and the reality is feelings don’t necessarily last as long as we think. Feelings come and go and are constantly changing, but we may tend to perceive them as lasting a long time or not lasting long enough.

I saw a post on social media that shared a picture with two lines. The top line symbolized
How long we think a feeling is going to last.

Beneath it was another line that symbolized
How long a feeling actually lasts.

What it showed is typically we anticipate that tricky feelings are going to be more intense, last much longer, or be more scary than they actually are. It’s important for me to say that feelings are legitimate and some feelings are very difficult and painful to experience. YES, this is true and this is the human condition. Even those feelings don’t continually happen, we kind of tend to bob in and out of them in the mix of all our other experiences.

So this topic is about how to deal with tricky feelings and feelings that are difficult to have.

In our society, we are kind of taught to do a couple things with feelings.

One of them is to chase or gather a feeling that we really love. Say for example the feeling of happiness, excitement or joy. We’re always striving to have that feeling and have lots of that feeling, you know like the pursuit of happiness. In this case there is often a scarcity mentality, like there is just never enough of that feel good emotion. We can also become concerned about moments we are not feeling those more positive feelings, sending us on a futile hunt.

Another thing that we’re taught is not let ‘bad feelings’ in or to avoid, deny, or change them. There seems to be messages of shame around experiencing certain emotions that are perceived as negative like anger, sadness, anxiety, boredom, etc.

If we learn to approach feelings with curiosity rather than resistance and judgement, we may find that we can cope much better.

Photo by Canva

If you imagine yourself as a little person inside a house and you think about feelings as visitors or guests, there are some that we openly invite in,

“Oh yes, come on in and take up all the space you need”, feelings like happiness, joy, peace, or calm.

Then there are other feelings like sadness, pain, or anxiety that we decide “I don’t want to have this feeling” so we slam the door in their face.

Photo by Canva

The thing is these guests, the feelings, don’t just go away like that. They are quite persistent that they have something to share with you, and will just keep trying to find a way to get in. Those feelings end up kind of sticking around a lot longer than they need to, which can cause problems.

Thinking of feelings as guests or visitors, like Rumi wrote about and another book I will share with you, allows us to interact with them in a very curious way instead of being scared or reluctant to experience feelings, even if it’s one we think may not be great to have around.

The book ‘Visiting Feelings’ by Lauren Rubenstein is a great resource. It has beautiful artwork and a poetic tone to the writing. This book invites people to consider what a feeling might look like, sound like, feel like, and takes a curious approach to feelings.

I really wanted you to take a moment to sit with that possibility. Feelings as visitors, as guests.

Temporary. Impermanent. Not forever.

They will not last forever: good, bad, or terrible. I want to invite you to think about the different feelings you experience everyday and approach them with curiosity rather than judgement.

Consider asking the following questions of your feelings:

What does this feeling want me to know? What does it need right now? What is one thing I can do to learn more about it? Can I journal, draw, talk to someone about it, build it with clay, splatter paint to represent it, blast music that sounds like it?

Box Journaling

If you’re onboard with this idea of feelings as visitors or at least onboard with trying it out, I would invite you to try a journaling exercise. There are so many ways to journal and I am going to share one as I was inspired by Carla Sonheim, who shared this in a webinar.

Ok in reviewing my video above, I chuckled because I don’t quite know my left from my right, but rest assured the concept of box journaling is legitimate. I like box journaling because it combines free flowing ideas and creativity, as well as, some structure and idea prompting so that you can come away with an idea or an action to take that might be helpful.

For box journaling you will need a sheet of paper and a black marker (you can use a pen or pencil also). If you have pencil crayons or coloured markers, you can also use those. Start out by drawing a large box on your paper. You will then be dividing the box into 5 sections.

Section one: Draw a horizontal line under the top line of the box (creating its own little box within the larger box) and this is where you will put the date and you can add where you were when you journaled.

Section two and three: Underneath the horizontal box create two vertical boxes. These will take about two thirds of the page. The one on the left is the largest and the one on the right is slimmer. The left box is where you will put your free writing. The slimmer panel box on the right is where you will grab ideas from the free write and create a list of themes, ideas, key phrases, action items, etc.

Section four and five: Underneath the section 2/3 boxes you will create two smaller boxes that are about equal in size. They will take up the rest of the space on the paper. The box on the left will be for a drawing. This can be a squiggle, scribble, symbol, stick figure, or any kind of image that helps represent something about your writing or how you are feeling in that moment. The last box on the right is a miscellaneous box. You can continue some free writing here, continue your image, paste a quote, add an affirmation or word that inspires you, etc. You get to decide what goes here.

Box journaling can take as much or as little time as you have. If you only have 10 minutes, spend 5 minutes on the free write journaling and the rest in the other sections. If you have a little longer, give yourself at least 5-10 minutes to free write and then a few minutes with each of the other sections.

There’s an idea of what you can do to start to be curious about feelings. Consider for yourself, what are some other things you can do to invite feelings in and learn more about them while they are visiting?

If you found this post helpful, pass it on by emailing a friend or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook- Thanks!

5 Practical Ways to Take Control of your Happiness

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

04 Jul

Emotions, For Parents, For Teens

4 Ways to Handle Teen Communication

July 5, 2022
By admin

Earlier this month my colleague here at Pyramid Psychology, shared 3 ways to respond to teen behaviours. (If you missed out on her blog, you can read it here: 3 Ways to Respond to Teen Behaviours). One of the things she reminds us of, is that you can’t read your teen’s mind – no matter how much you wish to! In fact, the teenage years may feel reminiscent of the terrible two’s when toddlers are pushing boundaries and “throwing tantrums.”

Photo by Canva

Here are four ways to navigate teen communication when challenging behaviours arise:

Approach the conversation when both parties are calm: Take a deep breath and keep an open mind. Remember: behaviour seeks to meet a need.
Photo by canva
Listen: Be curious about what’s going on for your teen. Allow them to speak without interruption. If they feel judged, criticized, or that something needs to be fixed, or corrected, defences go up and the conversation may shut down or explode.
Validate their feelings: Although instinct is to solve their problem or minimise their concerns in hopes of helping them, use empathetic statements to show you understand, for example, “I’m sorry you’re going through this, “That sounds really tough,” “I can see you’re going through a lot right now, “wow, that sounds difficult.”
Photo by Canva
Communicate boundaries: It’s important that when discussing boundaries, they’re clearly stated and an explanation is provided. The DEARMAN skill can be used to help communicate our needs and boundaries while maintaining a healthy relationship. Here is what the acronym stands for:

Describe the current situation using the facts. Tell your teen what you’re responding to.

Express your feelings about the situation. Don’t assume your teen can mind read!

Assert yourself by asking for what you want.

Reinforce by explaining the positive effects. Avoid blaming or insulting.

Mindful to keep the focus on your goals and the present rather than past experiences.

Appear confident and avoid being confrontational.

Negotiate. Offer and ask for other solutions to the problem. It’s important to work together to have both individuals’ needs met.

Knowing how to best respond in these tricky situations is incredibly helpful, however, the interactions that take place outside of them are important as well. These interactions offer opportunities to both connect and develop important emotion regulation skills. The Gottman Method proposes the idea of an “emotional piggy bank,” which every person has. When your teen is thanked, affirmed, or given time or affection, a “deposit” is made in their emotional piggy bank. However, a negative interaction like a demand, fight, or nagging, takes place, a “withdrawal is made from their emotional bank. The goal is to have more “deposits” or positive interactions than “withdrawals” or negative interactions/demands. You can learn more about this method on our blog: Emotional Bank Account: Your Relationship with Your Teen.

Photo by Canva

Regardless of which tools you choose to use, remember that communication is an ongoing process. You will have good days, and bad days. It is also important to provide your teen with outside resources to communicate with, particularly resources that are not emotionally attached to the outcome. Two of my colleagues are currently accepting new clients for 1:1 therapy. You can meet them here:

Jessa Tiemstra

Hi there! My name is Jessa.

I am a provisional psychologist working with teens, parents, and young adults in Calgary, Alberta. I am passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and am truly honoured to work in this field.

When I am not working, I have a range of interests that keep me busy. I love animals and have a dog and a cat that both like a lot of attention (both tri-coloured and fluffy!) I also enjoy plants, being outside, cooking, baking, crafty activities, going for walks, and video games.

I love spending time with family and friends but am an introvert at heart so quieter nights at home are good too.

I have called Calgary home for most of my life and love living here. Being a provisional psychologist lets me invest back into a place I am proud to call home.

You can book a free 20-minute call to get to know Jessa here:

Book a free 20 min call

Chipo Bvindi

Photo by Canva

Hello there!

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

You can book a free 20-minute call to get to know Chipo here:

Book a free 20 min call

Hi there! My name is Ally and I am a MA student therapist working with teens, parents, and young adults in Calgary, Alberta. I am passionate about helping others and one of the greatest honours of my life is being able to listen and hold space for other people’s stories.

When I am not working, I enjoy listening to music, spending time with family and friends, hiking, and indoor cycling. I love exploring new places with some of my favourites being Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Spain, Iceland, as well as Vancouver Island.

Calgary is home, but I will take any opportunity to travel!