21 Feb

7 Wise Friendship Must’s for Teen Girls

February 22, 2023
By admin

7 Wise Friendship Must’s for Teen Girls

This blog post is for teens who may be struggling to know what a “wise” friendship looks like. I have put together a few ideas below, but we would love to hear your ideas as well!

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

I think it is safe to say most of us have heard the adage, “choose your friends wisely”. What exactly that means, however, is talked about less frequently.

Photo by Gemma Chua-Tran on Unsplash

Choose your friendships wisely… what it DOESN’T mean:

My friend will never make mistakes.

Everyone makes mistakes at some point, and a friend is no different. Being able to forgive, both ourselves and others, is an important part of healthy communication and friendship.

My friend and I must have the same interests.

Having interests in common with a friend can be a wonderful thing! That doesn’t mean, however, that you must share a lot of the same interests in order to be friends. Sometimes we can learn the most from people who have different values or interests than us.

My friend and I will share everything with each other.

There is a greater degree of openness and vulnerability with good friends, but this does not mean we need to share everything with each other. Finding healthy boundaries about what to share, how much to share, and when, is a key part of making wise friendships.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Choose your friendships wisely… what it DOES mean:

My friend and I will support each other.

In a healthy friendship, there will be mutual support. This does not mean the support is available 24/7 or that it will always be delivered in your ideal way (different love languages, anyone?), but a good friend will want to listen, understand, and support you in what you may be going through.

My friend and I are allowed to have boundaries.

Everyone is different and will have different boundaries based on factors like interests, values, activities, time, energy, topics of conversation, and needs. Understanding that a good friend may have different boundaries than you is a sign of a healthy friendship.

Photo by Katy Anne on Unsplash

My friend and I have mutual respect and honesty.

In the context of people being human, making mistakes, and being so different, a sign of a healthy friendship is being honest with each other and respecting differences. This means both respecting our friends, but also respecting ourselves. A friendship is unlikely to always be 50/50, but it should also not always be one-sided.

My friend and I have a dynamic friendship.

What I mean by this is that a healthy friendship will have moments of fun, deeper conversation, adventure, support, learning, casual times, and more. If you notice that your friend is always talking about really hard, difficult things, or that maybe you never talk about anything more personal, it may be time to switch it up a bit!

These are just a few ideas about what a wise friendship may or may not look like, but there are many more! If you have any ideas you would like to share, send us a note on Instagram or even e-mail at jessa@pyramidpsychology.com.

Choose those friends wisely 😊

Love,

Jessa

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

13 Feb

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

The #1 Tool to Improve Communication With Your Teen Daughter

February 14, 2023
By admin

The #1 Tool to Improve Communication With Your Teen Daughter

Parenting a teen right now? I probably don’t need to tell you that sometimes having a flowing conversation feels impossible.

Whether you feel like you’re walking on eggshells not to upset things or pulling teeth to get more than one word answers, communicating with your teen daughter can seem like a fine art.

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE WAITING LIST <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents. This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

Photo from Canva Pro

When it comes to parent-teen communication, I most often hear from teen girls things like “my mom just doesn’t understand” or “my parents don’t really listen to what I have to say”.

And from the parents of my teen clients, I hear things like “I’ve offered her so many ideas to try, but she just doesn’t seem to want to try anything” or “Anytime I say anything, it’s the wrong thing it seems”.

Sound familiar? Both of these perspectives are valid.

There are some common communication enablers and blockers that are at play here. With a little bit of tweaking, a bridge can be built leaving your conversations with your daughter more satisfying, less defensive, and drawing the two of you closer together.

The L.E.T it be technique is a must to improve any teen-parent interactions. L stands for Listen first. E is for empathize, and T is for Talk last. If you focus solely on this communication strategy for the next couple of weeks, you will see your interactions with your teen daughter transform.

Let me walk you through each of the steps.

Improving Communication with Your Teen Daughter Step #1: L – Listen First

If you’ve ever been in a serious conversation with someone else or on the other end of a boring University lecture, you might know that the art of listening can be far harder than it seems. Listening first is the golden rule to making communication easier and more effective with your teen daughter.

Here is an article that takes a deep dive into active listening skills and some great example scenarios: What Is Active Listening

I’ve put together a checklist with some highlights from the article. Keep this handy to go through (mentally or physically) to ensure you are listening first.

Have I eliminated all or most distractions (e.g. physical distractions such as a phone, mental distractions like feeling rushed or having lots on my mind)?
Am I listening to what she is saying instead of preparing how I’m going to respond?
Am I showing interested body language (e.g. some level of eye contact, arms uncrossed, attentive nodding, etc.)?
Am I coming from a place of unconditional love and acceptance (not the same as agreeing)?
Am I staying as objective as possible, knowing that my teens feelings are hers, temporary, and separate from mine?

Photo from Canva Pro

If you start by listening first….

…. Even if you think you know where the conversation is headed

…Even though you might have some great advice to give

…Even though you might not agree with what she saying,

The conversations will be far easier and much more pleasant.

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE WAITING LIST <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents. This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

Improving Communication with Your Teen Daughter Step #2: E – Empathize next

(A.k.a. try putting yourself in her shoes). Sometimes parents skip this step altogether. They worry about the reaction or shutting down the

Photo from Canva Pro

conversation if they say the wrong thing.

Empathy is a skill. The more it is practiced, the easier it gets. And it is the part of the L.E.T it be technique that most impacts whether or not your daughter feels understood and trusts that you can be someone she can open up to.

Empathy is about expressing through verbal and nonverbal behaviours that you can understand how she might feel under that circumstance.Check this video out from Brené Brown on empathy.

Here are a few ideas of empathetic responses:

“What you’re saying makes total sense”
“You must feel so frustrated about that”
“You’re in a tough spot here”
“I imagine that’s been pretty hard”
“I wish you didn’t have to go through this”
Offering a hug, a hand on theirs, a kind smile, a gentle tone, compassion in your eyes, relaxed face, etc.

If none of these seem terribly natural to you, that’s completely fine. It’s OK to start small with empathy. But even if it doesn’t seem like things you would EVER say or do, I’m going to encourage you to try showing some empathy and keep an open mind.

Improving Communication with Your Teen Daughter Step #3: T – Talk Last.

You may be wise. In fact you probably have great ideas based on your own lived experience. More often than not, once you have done the L and the E, your daughter will be well on her way to resolve the issue. I’m going to say this again because it’s SO important. Most of the time, after you have truly listened and offered empathy, your daughter KNOWS what to do to handle the situation.

Ideas, words of wisdom, encouragement, anecdotes and helpful questions have a place. Use sparingly. I encourage parents to come from a place of curiosity and collaboration when offering any of the above.

I like asking permission before offering something. It opens up her receptivity.

“Can I share an idea with you?”

“I’m curious about what you were saying, can I ask you a couple questions?”

Of course there may be times when you need to be more straightforward with your input, but unless your daughter or someone else’s safety is at risk, those times are seldom.

Try using the L.E.T it be technique this week and see how things go.

If you want to know more about improving your relationship with teenage daughter, here is a blog article on ways teens can strengthen all of their relationships: 3 Ways to Improve the Quality of Teen Relationships.

Photo from Canva Pro

Lastly, join our online Wellness Hub Community for free resources, to help you raise teen girls, conversations with other parents, and opportunities to deepen your support for your teen daughter.

Click here to join our online Wellness Hub Community.

I can’t wait to meet you there!

Love,
Chantal

Registered Psychologist and Teen Coach with Pyramid Psychology

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE WAITING LIST <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents. This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

06 Feb

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

7 Steps to Handle Big Teen Emotions

February 7, 2023
By admin

7 Steps to Handle Big Teen Emotions

If you’re a teen looking to manage big emotions, this blog article is for you.

teen emotions

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Is there a big feeling that you have been experiencing recently? Anger? Sadness? Frustration? Loneliness? Guilt?

It’s hard to be a teen. There are so many things going on in your life and sometimes it can feel like no one understands you.

As a teenager, there are many ways to manage these big feelings and sometimes it might feel as though these are taking over your life. If you’re looking for ways to manage some of these big emotions, read on!

7 Steps to Handle Big Emotions

Photo from Canva Pro

It’s time to use your creativity and imagination. Let’s do an exercise together…..

Step 1: Pick one emotion that you have recently been feeling. As an example, I’ll pick sadness.

Step 2: If you had to imagine what sadness looks like, what shape would it be? What colour(s) is sadness? Does sadness look big or small?

Tip: You may be thinking, what is this blogger talking about?! Stay with me and experiment!

Step 3: To the best of your ability, draw sadness on a blank sheet of paper.

Tip: Have you watched the movie Inside Out? Perhaps this will give you some ideas on how to draw the emotion that is currently visiting you.

Here are some examples to spark your creativity:

Sadness:

www.easydrawingguides.com

Anger:

www.nytimes.com

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

Teen Mental Health Handbook

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

It is natural for teen feelings of self-acceptance to fluctuate over the course of your life, especially as you work through the teen years. You are continually evolving and growing! Remember that self-acceptance is a journey.

The practice of meditation is unique to each individual. One person will not have the same experience as another, so don’t compare yourself to anyone else as you go down this path.

Step 4: Now, write the following answer to these questions beside your drawing:

When does sadness grow?
When does sadness shrink?
When does sadness visit less often? More often?
When sadness is around what are you doing?
If sadness was not around, what would you be doing?
When was a time when sadness disappeared? What were you doing before it disappeared? What were you doing after sadness disappeared? What did you do to help sadness leave?

Photo from Canva Pro

Step 5: If you feel comfortable, share the drawing with someone special in your life. Talk to them about the answers to your questions. Perhaps there is an opportunity to ask them these same questions. If you are working with a therapist who works with teens, like the therapists at Pyramid Psychology, ask them to talk to you more about your drawing and the answers to some of the questions above.

My colleague wrote an article to help you decide if teen therapy is a good option for you: 4 Ways To Tell If Teen Therapy Is For You.

Step 6: When sadness comes to visit you again, pull out this drawing or picture it in your mind. Sadness may visit for a while. Pay close attention to when sadness grows and when it shrinks. What did you do before and after?

Step 7: Keep the picture of sadness with you in your backpack or store it safely at home. Take a look at it when sadness appears. Over time, the answers to your questions might evolve – that’s a natural part of dealing with big feelings.v

If you have any questions about teen emotions, shoot me a note and we can connect 🙂 My email address is fazilah@pyramidpsychology.com

If you are an Alberta, Canada resident you can also book a free consultation with me HERE.

Love, Fazilah

Registered Social Worker with Pyramid Psychology

Helping 100,000 Teen Girls Build Unbreakable Mindsets

Teen Mental Health Handbook

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to:

Improve focus

Boost happy hormones naturally

Cope with trick feelings

Develop self-compassion

I Want the Handbook!

Is your teen having challenges navigating their current circumstances? Do you want your teen to obtain the skills and tools they need to navigate the peaks and valleys that come their way?

Are you looking for someone who can support your teen to step into their spotlight, have great relationships, and find their confidence? I speak teen. My strength is connecting with and relating to teenagers. I strive to provide a balance of learning and laughter during my sessions. Teens need a coach and therapist who they can trust to talk to about the hard stuff in their lives.

I work with teens from a range of life experiences and backgrounds. My specialities include working with teens who identify as BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of colour) and/or LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and more).

I have a Master of Social Work and a Master of Health Administration. I am also a Registered Social Worker. I have worked across the healthcare sector and served on numerous boards of directors for not-for-profit organizations.

12 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

Understanding Your Spotlight (for Teen Girls)

December 15, 2022
By admin

Understanding Your Spotlight (for Teen Girls)

When we talk about stepping into your spotlight, it can be hard to know what the ‘spotlight’ is. How will you know when you have found your spotlight? Will you feel completely happy and that things are finally “perfect” when you have found it?

>>>FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to improve focus, boost happy hormones, cope with tricky feelings, and develop self-compassion.

I Want the Handbook!

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

You may disagree with me, but I tend to define “stepping into your spotlight” as a dynamic process instead of a specific goal. Your spotlight may change over time and being in your spotlight may never feel 100% happy and fuzzy – it may feel challenging, scary, but at the core it is life-giving and meaningful. Stepping into your spotlight can be making progress towards a dream career, but it can also be all those little choices you make along the way, whether an end goal is in sight or not.

Thinking about my own teen years, I was never one of those people who knew from a young age what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now that I am a little bit older, and hopefully a little wiser, I think that question can be a bit confusing. Instead of thinking about “what” I want to be, I think about “who” I want to be.

Who I want to be applies to right now, in this moment, in addition to my future hopes and dreams. I think about how I can step into my spotlight, or be my most authentic self while pursuing my goals and living according to my values, within my current reality.

>>>FREE DOWNLOAD: Mental Health Handbook for Teen Girls <<<

An eBook with 10 mental health exercises every teen girl needs to know to improve focus, boost happy hormones, cope with tricky feelings, and develop self-compassion.

I Want the Handbook!

When I was considering what I wanted to be, my thoughts went into endless comparisons. It was impossible to make a “perfect” choice with so many hypotheticals and unknowns. My mind went back and forth between looking for the perfect end goal and determining that the grass is always greener on the other side. I have

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

since left this mindset behind, and have spent more time acknowledging that “the grass is greenest where you water it” (Neil Barringham).

If you already have a spotlight in mind, that is amazing! GO FOR IT!!

But if you’re like me, and you are less sure on what your spotlight looks like, know that you can find it along the way. You can read a little more about my process after high school graduation here: ‘Planning For The Future After High School Graduation’.

I am also available for 1:1 support to sort through the muck of figuring out what and who you want to be. Book your free consultation here.*

Love,

Jessa Tiemstra

Provisional Psychologist servicing teen girls and young adults.

*1:1 services available for teen girls living in Alberta, Canada

Jessa is a provisional psychologist living and servicing teens and young adults in Calgary, Alberta.

Jessa is passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves and is continually learning how to best support her clients. She has experience with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), but most importantly she emphasizes the therapeutic relationship.

A safe, authentic relationship is key for therapy to work. Jessa prioritizes compassion and nonjudgmental curiosity. Together, she can find out what matters most to you and how to get there.

If you think Jessa may be a good match for you, please feel free to reach out and set up a free consult or book a session. She is looking forward to hearing from you!

Once a month, she writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents, teens and young adults she connects with. If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

05 Dec

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

5 Teen Truths

December 6, 2022
By admin

5 Teen Truths

I have a confession to make!

The other day I was volunteering to build boxes for a local charity that serves those who experience food scarcity. I got paired up with a lovely teen human. The job was pretty straightforward. Fold the box. Tape the box. Label the box. So after building a couple, you kind of get the hang of it.

This meant we had lots of time to talk. The more I listened to my table buddy, hearing about all the things they were interested in and knew about, the more my heart felt full. Then a couple days later, one of my teen client’s was telling me about their passion. She proudly shared some of her art with me. That same full heart feeling

appeared. Once again today as a parent told me how

Photo by Mike Von on Unsplash

their teen faced their fear in doing something they had been procrastinating on for a long time, the centre of my chest lit up like a Christmas Tree.

I’m starting to sense a pattern.

>>> FREE ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEEN GIRLS: The Wellness hub <<<

A private online community for teen girls only, with access to wellness resources such as audio clips & blogs:

Wellness Hub Waiting List

My Confession:

I’m a HUGE admirer of teens. I think of the curiosity, creativity, and sense of rebellion (in a let’s do it differently than the generations before us kind of energy) all bundled into one amazing vessel of potential. And, after talking to hundreds of teen girls, each is incredibly unique. Each one of you has a story to tell, experiences that have shaped you, opinions about the world, things you care about, unique taste in music, sense of fashion, relationships, etc.

I see you. I hear you. I am Inspired.

If you:

Doubt what you have to say matters. You’re not alone
Think that adults won’t pay attention or understand. You’re probably a little bit right
Hesitate because you think others will be disappointed. It’s normal (still don’t let it stop you)
Believe you don’t measure up to how perfect others appear to be. Let that go right now!
Don’t think you have any great qualities or strengths. Think again Think again

Photo by Ernest Brillo on Unsplash

>>> FREE ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEEN GIRLS: The Wellness hub <<<

A private online community for teen girls only, with access to wellness resources such as audio clips & blogs:

Wellness Hub Waiting List

There are many people like me, dedicated and equally curious about who you are and who can’t wait to see how you will shape the world around you by virtue of being you. Have those people in your court! Get your name down for our soon to be online wellness hub community HERE.

Over the next couple months, we at Pyramid Psychology are focusing on all things connected to what makes you unique. Uncovering your strengths, values, skills and stepping into your spotlight. And knowing there’s a group of caring, sincere, adults that are cheering you on every step of the way.

Can’t wait to meet you!

Love,

Chantal

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

28 Nov

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

4 Easy Meditation Tips for Teens

November 29, 2022
By admin

4 Easy Meditation Tips for Teens

Meditation is a powerful tool that you can use throughout your self-acceptance journey as a teen. There are many scientific studies showing the benefits of meditation in generating positive feelings toward yourself and others, promoting emotional health, enhancing self-awareness, and much more!

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Photo by Motoki Tonn on Unsplash.

It is natural for your feelings of self-acceptance to fluctuate over the course of your life, especially as you work through the teen years. You are continually evolving and growing! Remember that self-acceptance is a journey.

The practice of meditation is unique to each individual. One person will not have the same experience as another, so don’t compare yourself to anyone else as you go down this path.

Here are some easy meditation tips to integrate meditation into your life:

Determine if this will be a solo or group practice – it could also be a mix of both. Do you want to do this with a parent, friend, or sibling? Or do you prefer to do this alone?
Test out guided and silent meditation to see what you are drawn towards. Would you like to listen to someone talk to guide the meditation? Would you prefer to listen to calming music? Would you like to sit in silence? Start with one method and modify it as needed. (If you are drawn to exploring with someone, I offer affordable 1:1 therapy for teens in Alberta, Canada HERE).
Consider seeking encouragement from others who are trying similar things. YouTuber Grow With Supreet is on my go-to list! Check out her ‘Meditation’ playlist.
Does meditation integrate into existing avenues in your life such as a spiritual or religious practice? Some people associate meditation with their spiritual beliefs, others approach this practice as scientific in nature, and others are somewhere in between. The wonderful thing about meditation is that it is completely up to you how you define this for yourself!

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Document your journey. If possible, document your meditation journey once a week, even if it is just a few sentences. This shouldn’t be an onerous task. Note

Photo by ‘No Revisions’ on Unsplash

where you are having challenges with self-acceptance and the areas that you are rocking.

Be Kind to Yourself. Be gentle with yourself as you explore your meditation practice. The journey is not intended to aim for perfection. It will most likely be a winding road. Some days it will be easier to engage in the practice and other days it may be a bit more challenging.

On a personal note: In the future, you may even look back at this exploration with warm fuzzies in your heart. I have lovely memories of waking up early and meditating with my father. After meditating we would have a cup of chai and talk about anything that was on our minds. Meditation, paired with quality time with my dad, encouraged self-acceptance. These moments were incredibly special for me and are memories that will be in my heart forever.

Remember, you can choose to do this journey on your own if you’d like. If you would rather do it with someone in a safe, accepting place, I am happy to join you. Book a free consultation with me HERE.

Is your teen having challenges navigating their current circumstances? Do you want your teen to obtain the skills and tools they need to navigate the peaks and valleys that come their way?

Are you looking for someone who can support your teen to step into their spotlight, have great relationships, and find their confidence? I speak teen. My strength is connecting with and relating to teenagers. I strive to provide a balance of learning and laughter during my sessions. Teens need a coach and therapist who they can trust to talk to about the hard stuff in their lives.

I work with teens from a range of life experiences and backgrounds. My specialities include working with teens who identify as BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of colour) and/or LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and more).

I have a Master of Social Work and a Master of Health Administration. I am also a Registered Social Worker. I have worked across the healthcare sector and served on numerous boards of directors for not-for-profit organizations.

21 Nov

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

5 Ways to Help Girls Develop Teen Confidence

November 22, 2022
By admin

You don’t have to feel helpless watching your daughter struggle with teen confidence. I am going to share 5 ways you can help her develop confidence.

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. JOIN THE WAITING LIST: FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents.

This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

Adolescence is often a stage in life that is demanding in itself as teens go through transitions, developments, and relational and behavioural alterations. This period

Photo from Canva Pro

of tremendous change could also be filled with moments or periods of low self-esteem. Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence have one thing in common… the Self in these words and a reference to the relationship we have with ourselves, i.e how one views or feels about themselves….

Parents can help their daughters with teen confidence by building their self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence through some of the following suggestions, tools, and techniques.

>>> ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR TEENS & PARENTS. JOIN THE WAITING LIST: FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

We are launching an online community for teen girls, with a separate forum for parents.

This is a safe space to grow as a family to support your teen daughter’s unbreakable mindset.

Join Our Community for Teens & Parents

5 Ways You Can Help Your Daughter Build Teen Confidence:

Photo by Jonatas Domingos on Unsplash

#1 – Praise the process and not the outcomes… Praising the outcome often comes naturally – you are proud of what your daughter accomplishes! However, I encourage you to also praise the things your daughter has learned, or skills she developed, when working towards a goal or arriving at the outcome (be it good or bad). This allows her to develop a growth mindset as well as promotes teens to be resilient.

#2 Have realistic expectations for your daughter. Sometimes you may be trying to live life through your children. (Your own self-worth often plays a part here). As a result you can end up setting unrealistic standards that result in a lot of pressure and performance to appease parents, rather than being authentic and truly embracing progress over perfection.

#3 Encourage your daughter to engage in positive self-talk and model positive self-talk yourself. Prompt your daughter to note when she is being judgemental, harsh or cruel towards themselves. Reflect on this and also for them to stop… by embracing being human and exercising some self-compassion. My colleague, Jessa Tiemstra, Provisional Psychologist wrote a blog article to help you model confidence for your daughter. Take a read HERE.

#4 Create a gratitude or success trail of paper… As a habit teen girls can engage in by documenting successes, and accomplishments, that they can read to themselves or can serve as reminders of what they have managed to overcome or achieve. Even some of the strengths and skills they developed along the way…. This can be something that can be reviewed in times of distress

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or when their self-esteem is down.

#5 Help your daughter notice and be aware of dynamics that might trigger not-so-good feelings…. Is it a place, people, relationships, or friendships,

that activate low self-esteem or low self-worth…encourage them to develop healthy boundaries in letting the aforementioned (people/ friendships) know they will not tolerate such behaviours or can simply look at stepping away? Help your daughter understand that boundaries are there to take care of them and also are necessary for healthy relationships. Having boundaries in areas where people act in less than respectful ways is okay!

Teen confidence is one of three pillars your daughter needs to be okay now and in the future. The other two are: developing healthy relationships, and learning how to step into their spotlight.

Our online community (launching early 2023) will have a forum specifically for teen girls with resources for them on all three pillars. It will also have a parent forum for you. Join the waiting list here.

Love,

Chipo

Register Social Worker offering counseling for female identifying teens (11-21 years old)

I am a registered social worker with a Bachelor of Social Work with a major in psychology from the university of the Western Cape, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work specialization with individuals, families, and groups from the University of Calgary.

In my practice, I note the different intersectionalites that come into play, and I have adapted myself to understanding the effects thereof. I pride myself in working from a holistic and integrative approach using trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and intersectional lenses in rendering services.

I am grounded by embracing my full humanness-being imperfectly perfect. My faith, family and friendships carry me through life and its happenings. I find being in nature very healing and so is savouring moments. When not working, I love to engage in some fitness, going on walks, journaling, catching up on Korean series, city adventures and reading for pleasure. I also believe in allowing my inner child come out sometimes through art, dancing, building sand castles you name it.

07 Nov

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

7 Qualities to Create An Unbreakable Teen Mindset

November 7, 2022
By admin

7 Qualities to Create An Unbreakable Teen Mindset

As a teen life coach, I almost always hear from parents of teen girls how they want their daughters to have the tools to be happy. You want your teens to be able to handle challenging experiences and be OK now and as they grow into adulthood. Creating an unbreakable teen mindset from within is the best tool you have to guide your daughter to happiness.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

Do you ever worry that stress, overwhelm, or just life in general are too much for your daughter some days?

I’ve noticed the teens who work with our team who see the biggest difference in their lives; the ones who tell us they are happier and healthier, are the ones who have been able to master what we call an Unbreakable Teen Mindset. One of the three essential pillars that we teach teens is how to use their mind, thoughts, and attitudes to help them live their best lives.

If your teen daughter is struggling to find happiness because of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm, let me tell you what building an Unbreakable Teen Mindset is and what it can do for her.

An Unbreakable Mindset is not about getting right all the time. It is not about perfection (is there such a thing?!). It is not about always being happy.

An Unbreakable Teen Mindset is about building up the following qualities:

Confidence in trying and doing things even if it may not work out the way you hoped.
Photo from Canva Pro
Flexibility in knowing there isn’t only one way.
Growth in seeing where you were, where you are, and where you are heading.
Perspective in being able to take a step back and consider things in different ways.
Grit in preserving when the going gets tough.
Insight in always learning more about yourself, your relationships, and the world.
The power to pivot when something or some way of thinking is just not working.

Photo from Canva Pro

By building up each of these qualities (and no it doesn’t all have to happen at once), your daughter is growing an Unbreakable Teen Mindset; A way of thinking that will help her not only survive the ups and downs of being a teen, but to live a happier and healthier life that goes well beyond her teenage years.

Join our community of adolescent girl identifying teens (age 11-21) to learn more about how to help your teen gain the tools to be unbreakable by downloading our free Anxiety and Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls here:

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Love,

Chantal

Chantal Côté (she/her) is a psychologist and teen life coach living in Calgary, Alberta. After over a decade in non-profit and community mental health, Chantal started Pyramid Psychology, a practice dedicated to supporting teens – a population she is constantly amazed by. Chantal is on a mission to help 100,000 teen girls (and their parents) build bulletproof mindsets so they can weather the ups and downs of life. As part of this goal, Chantal has had the privilege of speaking at various events – virtual and live – to support teens and parents.

Outside of this passion, Chantal is often in nature, writing poetry, playing ball hockey and hanging out with her loved ones.

Each week, Chantal writes a blog article in response to issues she hears from the parents and teens she connects with.

If you have something you’d like to read more on – email ideas and questions to info@pyramidpsychology.com or DM us via Instagram or Facebook.

31 Oct

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

3 Ways to Improve the Quality of Teen Relationships

October 30, 2022
By admin

3 Ways to Improve the Quality of Teen Relationships

Support circles are only as strong as the quality of your teen relationships. Learn how to improve the quality of your relationships in this article.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

3 Reasons Why the Quality of Our Relationships Matter

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

You can lean on the right people for the type of support that you need.

Support comes in many forms. Can you identify who you might go to when you need the following type of support?

Emotional support
Tangible support
Informational support
Affirmational support

When you have deeper relationships with others, you learn more about yourself. These are relationships where you obtain support, encouragement, and constructive feedback on your growing edges in a way that helps you feel uplifted and supported. Each relationship will provide you with something unique and different.

You are four times more likely to feel good about yourself and life when you feel close to people.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

3 Ways to Increase the Quality of Our Relationships

#1 Time and Effort – Be consistent in your efforts to connect with those who you care about and that care about you.

#2 Be Present – Keep the cell phone away from you. Rather than placing the cell phone on the table, for example, keep it in a backpack or bag. This signifies to the

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

other person that you are attentive to them and will not get distracted by a social media notification, phone call, or text message. Don’t underestimate the power of being attentive!

#3 Express Appreciation – Sincere statements such as “thank you”, “I appreciate your insight”, and “You are important to me”, go a long way to strengthening our connections with others. When people hear a sincere statement of appreciation, this invites them to open their hearts and minds. If you are not used to expressing yourself in this way, practice in front of the mirror or when you are alone in your room. It might feel funny at first! Give it a try and see what happens.

These are three ways you can begin to improve your relationships, which is part of being a good friend. To dive further into improving relationships (specifically friendships) you can read my colleague’s blog article: ‘How To Be A Good Friend‘.

If you are looking for unbiased support to learn social skills, gain confidence in your relationships, and be a great friend, I would be honoured to be part of your support circle. I offer affordable therapy ($40 per session) in Calgary, Alberta (online appointments available to Alberta residents). If you’re ready to create a solid foundation for your relationships, book a free consultation here:

Book Your Free Consultation

Let me know how your journey is going and if you have any questions!

Fazilah Shariff MSW, MHA, RSW

Is your teen having challenges navigating their current circumstances? Do you want your teen to obtain the skills and tools they need to navigate the peaks and valleys that come their way?

Are you looking for someone who can support your teen to step into their spotlight, have great relationships, and find their confidence? I speak teen. My strength is connecting with and relating to teenagers. I strive to provide a balance of learning and laughter during my sessions. Teens need a coach and therapist who they can trust to talk to about the hard stuff in their lives.

I work with teens from a range of life experiences and backgrounds. My specialities include working with teens who identify as BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of colour) and/or LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and more).

I have a Master of Social Work and a Master of Health Administration. I am also a Registered Social Worker. I have worked across the healthcare sector and served on numerous boards of directors for not-for-profit organizations.

24 Oct

For Teens, Friendships, Relationships

5 Ways for Parents to Boost Teen Confidence

October 25, 2022
By admin

I want to share a personal story of teen confidence. And then from the heart of my teenage self, I have a list of 5 ways I wish adults had instilled confidence in my life.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Here we go…

From the time I was 12 years old until I was in my early twenties, I struggled with my own self confidence and self esteem. I can remember my parents enrolling me in summer day camps with names like “Girl Power” to help me learn strategies on how to increase my feelings of self worth.

I had babysitters that would often show me magazines with photos of lots of beautiful celebrities and sometimes we would watch music videos. I put the pictures

Photo by Charisse Kenion on Unsplash

from the magazines on my walls, like most girls my age did. We didn’t have social media back then but I still compared myself to the images of perfectionism that I saw.

Throughout my teenage years, I became obsessed with fashion. I always had to stand out from the other kids in school, to have the newest styles. In a way I was expressing my creativity, because I’ve always loved art and beauty. I also liked experimenting and trying out different identities. But in another way, I had become materialistic and placed a lot of pressure on myself to look a certain way and to be praised and approved by others. I wasn’t accepting my true self- I was often changing things about my appearance in order to make others notice me.

It also wasn’t only my physical appearance, I struggled with accepting my own personality as well. I have always been shy and introverted, which has been difficult in such an extroverted world. I did not feel like I fit in. I felt a huge pressure by society to act more outgoing and social and another huge pressure to fit into the stereotypical ideal of beauty by wearing fashionable clothes and using makeup. The behavior of the women in my life also influenced me, when I saw them not leaving their house without makeup on.

With all this being said, I wish I had known some strategies to change my inner voice which was constantly telling me I wasn’t good enough as I was. For parents of female identifying teens, here are five tips you can use to help your daughter’s confidence grow:

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

Photo from Canva Pro

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

5 Ways Parents Can Boost Teen Confidence

Teen Confidence Tip #1 – Encourage your daughter to try new things and take risks.

Parents want the best for their children, and to keep them safe. However, by giving your daughter some freedom, she is able to take risks that will build confidence. If she wins, you can praise her and if she fails, you can commend her for being so brave. Ultimately, my confidence skyrocketed in my mid twenties when I decided to stop listening to others, and to travel solo after a breakup.

Teen Confidence Tip #2 – Encourage your daughter to stop caring what other people think (and discourage people-pleasing behaviours)

This one’s really a game changer for me because I’ve always had people-pleasing tendencies. I realized that by listening to what others think I should do in my life, I was really allowing them to control me– which in turn inhibited my freedom and true happiness because I was not being true to myself or following my intuition. The reality is, there will always be people that like you and people that don’t, no matter what– and that’s okay.

Teen Confidence Tip #3 – Praise your daughter for qualities other than her appearance

I can speak a lot about this one from experience. I became addicted to receiving compliments about my appearance and it seemed like more and more I was trying to chase perfection so that I could be deemed as valuable and needed by others. Of course it’s great to give compliments on appearance but it should not be the only thing she is receiving compliments on. Instead, make a conscious effort to focus on the things she is doing for the world.

Teen Confidence Tip #4 – Be careful about the media she is consuming.

Be conscious of the magazines around the house and the types of TV shows that you have on. After 15 minutes of looking at a fashion magazine, their mood is shown to shift from enthusiasm to comparing and negative self talk. I am sure the same goes for social media, so encourage her to limit her time spent on it. Help her realize that social media is not reality, and neither are the photoshopped magazines.

Teen Confidence Tip #5 – Notice the type of behaviour you are modeling.

Avoid making any sort of negative self-talk, putting down your own appearance or making it mandatory that you must wear makeup before you go out. Avoid saying insulting things about your own personality. Instead teach self acceptance, and how she doesn’t need material things to make her more beautiful. For fathers, don’t treat her as though she is helpless and should rely on a man to do things for her. She is capable of doing stereotypically “masculine” activities, like mowing the lawn

or yard work.

>>> FREE DOWNLOAD: Depression & Anxiety Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls <<<

10 tools you can immediately use to improve your female identifying teens’ mental health & build resistance against depression & anxiety:

Anxiety & Depression Toolkit for Parents Raising Teen Girls

Together, by taking the time to reflect on this topic we can shift society’s expectations. We can stop looking outward for our inner happiness. By loving ourselves first, we can become more compassionate, empathetic and generous towards others. In my mid-twenties, I relearned what society taught me and began to think in a new light.

If you found this article helpful, you can continue the work with our blog article ‘3 Ways to Help Your Teen Stop Perfectionist Thinking‘.

Love,
Kari